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No Drinking With Women

I don’t like to drink with women. At least, not often.

First, the reasons:

  1. I was never good at controlling my liquor. I get tired very, very quickly after only one beer, so if I’m trying to “hang” I have a better chance sober. Even with Red Bull infused drinks, I can end up sleeping in public. Trust me, it’s happened.
  2. I get the Asian glow. Being part Japanese, my face gets bright red the minute I have a couple of sips of anything with alcohol content. Since I’m fairly vain and self-conscious, this reaction to alcohol doesn’t really work for me with the exception of dimly lit clubs. I also have never really heard a woman tell me she gets turned on when my face gets red and until I do, this reason remains valid.

Of course, often times my rules stretch beyond dates. Even at an open bar, I’m liable to order a Coke, straight-up, on the rocks. I’m one of those people who, when it comes time to consume alcohol, I’m as selective as couples who opt for family planning birth control. So whenever I go out with a woman and tell her I don’t really like to drink, most are understanding, but I have met some who look at me like I told them I used to date their best friend. One of my ex-girlfriend’s had the nerve to tell me once, “I never realized I didn’t like a guy who didn’t drink until I started seeing you.” Thankfully, I’m comfortable in my own skin and didn’t order a shot of Patron just to appease her.

To their credit, some women have explained their real issue with me not drinking with them is because I turn around and do it with my boys, which is only sort of true.

Even my boys will tell you I’m the one most likely to pass on a drink, but admittedly, I am more comfortable drinking with my boys than with a woman.  When I’m drinking with my boys I know if something were to happen to me as a result of getting too drunk, my boys can handle it. With women, not so much. Call  me crazy, but I feel it’s way more important for me to be sober than it is for me to be drunk when I’m with a woman. Besides, I’ve heard some bad things happen to men who date drunk, from the women who’ve dated them.

The other issue I’ve heard women tell me they have with men who don’t like to drink (apparently I’m not the only one) is they don’t like to drink by themselves. As I’ve heard it said to me, when a woman is drinking by herself she feels her date and all who see them are judging her, which is just crazy talk. That would be like me asking a woman to order a steak instead of salad because if anyone from PETA is at the restaurant, I don’t want them to think I’m the only who likes to kill animals. If a woman likes to drink, she should feel comfortable enough to do it by herself, with her girls and in front of a man. I, on the other hand, don’t drink that often in any of those situations.

No man should even be given a double-take if he passes on the wine list or isn’t interested in hearing the drink specials, and no woman should be uncomfortable browsing at either just because her date doesn’t want to. I’m not one of those people who don’t drink cause it’s a bad thing. It’s just sometimes drinking is bad for me, and if a woman disagrees, she can order her own drink. Good for her.

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  • Intrigued

    My BF doesn’t like to drink w/me unless his friends are around as well. I think it is a “protection” thing. Fortunately I take it as, “Perfect…you can drive.” Oh and take a Zantak before alcohol consumption. It will aid you in your umm redness…

  • Malaca Jones

    I think that your reasons for drinking or not drinking are valid reasons! I think your dates or girlfriends would have a different opinion of you if you were part of a drunken brawl at the neighborhood bar or even worse, a night club where guns were involved. Alcohol and violence tend to go hand in hand. It is a positive thing that you rarely drink, besides who wants to be with an alcoholic?

  • Brittany Castaneda

    I first read this on my blackberry. I’m reading it again to comment. I feel like asian glow could be pretty adorable, but I’ve never seen it on a man before. I will have to do further investigation.

  • kandeezie

    It’s impolite to drink alone when you’re on a date, imo. A part of social interactions is to mirror the environment or your date (within reason). Kind of like a waltz. If you know the person well, then it’s no problem.

    Plus, some women don’t drink alone because they don’t know the guy well enough to know that they aren’t trying to pull tricks. Safety first!

  • Ren

    I never really thought there were guys who would turn down a drink. I know there are those who are social drinkers, and never drink by themselves, or every week either….. I just didn’t think your kind existed.

    Much better on your liver though, I’ll say that much.

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  • Anonymous

    I am in complete agreement. I only indulge in the odd Pina Colada or light cocktail, myself, and I usually greet the knowledge that a man I’m with doesn’t drink with a smile. There’s no reason one should have to drink because their company is, and I would hazard a guess that the people who get self-conscious are usually the ones who end up doing silly things when their consumption passes a certain point. Should this be the case, they can merely cut down on their number of glasses. 

  • spencer

    this man is a loser.