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Stories: "She's A Virgin"

September 17th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Tonight, I’m driving to the bar because my brother plans on getting shit-faced. Me? I don’t need to do any drinking. My internship is the next day and  I have the alcohol tolerance of a baby so with me behind the wheel, it’s best if I stick to my one can of Red Bull. Let the caffeine work its magic on me.

We get to the bar, see my brother’s friends, and he  immediately goes into everyone’s-best-friend mode at the bar, buying shots for anyone who so much as smiles at him. I’m playing my position, quietly scoping out the scene, sitting on a stool with a glass of Red Bull in my hand when out of nowhere, a girl walks up to me. I don’t know anyone in Queens, besides my brother, but I can tell by the way this girl is looking at me, I’m about to know her.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hi,” I say back.

She then introduces herself, and I can’t remember her name, but I think Ms. Leading is proper. So Ms. Leading and I strike up the type of conversation two people have for the sake of feeling better about what they’re going to do later.

Meanwhile, my brother is doing a great job of getting drunk. Actually, he’s doing a superb job, mixing his clear liquors with the dark ones, accepting drinks from other people and not caring in the least bit what’s in them. He has, on his hands, the perfect storm brewing.

As I float back and forth between Ms. Leading and other random people at the bar, I hear a loud thud outside on the back patio. I run outside. My brother is passed out on the cold concrete of the patio, done for the night. Time to get out of dodge and get him home. Ms. Leading follows me outside. I turn to her and say, “Looks like it’s time for me to go. Want to come with me to get my car?”

“Sure,” she says.

I tell my brother’s friends to get him to the front door while I go get the car. Ms. Leading walks lock-step with me to the car, which is about two blocks away from the bar. On our way, Ms. Leading and I say little, because we know what’s about to happen when we get to the car, and sure enough, before I can even turn the keys into the ignition, Ms. Leading leaps onto me, and starts tonguing me down. Ten minutes go by, windows fogged, but because my brother is inebriated to the point where he actually might get arrested, I pump the brakes.

“We have to stop,” I tell her as she’s biting my bottom lip. “But look, just come back to my place.”

“I can’t ” she says. “I’m here with my best friend and the rest of our girls celebrating a birthday.”

“So,” I say. “You’re not here with your mom, I’m sure they’ll let you go.”

“Yeah, but they talk, and I don’t want to hear it from them.”

Frustrated and annoyed, I stop Ms. Leading from unbuckling my belt. “I need to go get my brother,” I say. I pull out of my parking space and drive over to the front of the bar where my brother is standing on a wall outside, near the entrance, with his head down. Is he taking a piss in public? No. Okay, he’s letting the wall hold him up. Ms. Leading gives me her number, which I toss in the ashtray soon as she walks back inside, and I get out of the car to help my brother, who I throw in the back of my car.

About to pull off, when I hear Ms. Leading yell, “Wait!” I roll down my passenger side window and she leans in with a smile. “Hey,” she says. “I can’t find my friends, so is your offer still good?”

“Get in,” I say.

Ms. Leading gets into the seat and we’re off to my brother’s apartment. My brother passed out in the back, and Ms. Leading in the front, this time, free to unbuckle my belt for the short drive back to our destination.

When we pull up to the apartment, I need Ms. Leading’s help carrying my brother up to the apartment, which is on the third floor of a walk-up. Once inside, I throw my brother on his bed and go into the living room to set up the fold-out bed. With the bed set, I toss Ms. Leading one of the big rap t-shirts I got for free at my internship.

“This is for you,” I say.

“Thanks,” she says. “You wanna help me change?”

At this point, I know exactly what’s about to happen, so I turn out the light, close the door behind me, and climb right on top of Ms. Leading. Everything is going exactly as planned. The kissing is intense, the grinding is even more intense, and my goodness, her moans. I remember those like the last song I listened to on my iPod. They were loud, real loud, to the point where I was actually concerned my brother, passed out from numerous shots of 151, would actually wake up. Nowhere else we can go but all the way, so I pull out the condom I slid in the pocket of my basketball shorts.

“Wait,” she says. “I can’t.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“We can’t go there,” she says.

I go back to kissing her. On her neck. On her shoulders. On her breasts. The kisses  being planted on her body like if I applied just the right amount of pressure in just the right spot, I’d unlock her legs. I’m kissing. I’m hoping and now…I’m stopping.

“I’m a virgin,” she says.

Now, I’ve heard some reasons from women. Some good. Some not so good and this one was neither of those. This was either a bold-faced lie or the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

“Hey,” I say. “You know, nothing is going to happen that you don’t want to happen. We can stop right now, but don’t lie. Why would you say that?”

“No, really, I am,” she says. “I’ve never even done this much. But I really am.”

Now I’m disgusted.

“Okay, first, I don’t believe you.” I tell her. “Second, even if what you are saying is the truth why the hell would you come to the apartment with two guys you don’t even know if you weren’t planning on losing your virginity tonight?”

Ms. Leading looks at me like I just asked her what’s the meaning to life. “I don’t know,” she says shrugging shoulders.

“Well, I’m sorry, I still don’t believe you,” I say to her. “But like I said, that’s just dumb and I’m just going to go to sleep, you should too. It’s late.”

The next morning, I hear my brother in the kitchen and with Ms. Leading still asleep, I get out of bed and see him cooking up a storm. There’s sliced apples, cinnamon sticks, and a bowl of pancake batter. My brother, who has an uncanny ability to recover from drinking binges like Wolverine recovers from injuries, is making apple-cinnamon pancakes from scratch and wearing a toothy grin.

“Well, look who it is?” my brother says as he reached out his fist to give me some dap. I knock it away.

My brother stops mixing his batter and says, “No, what happened?”

“Nothing,” I say, leaning against the counter.

“Bro, get out of here. Nothing?”

“Nothing. She’s a virgin!” I whisper.

Just as I say this, the door is opening. My brother, with the reflexes of a cat throws the apples and cinammon sticks in the refrigerator and the bowl of pancake batter in the oven then runs back into his room. Ms. Leading comes out, changed into the same clothes she was wearing last night.

“You ready to go?” I ask.

Ms. Leading smiling, kisses me and says, “Yeah, let’s go.” On our way out the door, she asks me, “Is somebody cooking breakfast?”

“Not here,” I say. “Must be the neighbors.”

On the way to her place, she’s at it again, this time, grabbing at the elastic of my basketball shorts. “Stop,” I say.When we pull up to her complex, she kisses me again, on my cheek, and says, “Call me.”

Ms. Leading’s number never left the ashtray and I drove back home to eat my brother’s apple-cinnamon pancakes.

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  • Tunde

    what the hell? i don’t even believe her and i’m just reading. i know you were pissed. i’m pissed for you. lol

  • Nicole

    Damn, this brings back memories. I lost my v-card this year at the age of 26. I completely understand her position, to most of the guys you encounter along the way you’re like a black Madonna, and they won’t lay a finger near you saying they can’t corrupt you, (cue music). I definitely should have waited for the one, but my story aside couldn’t you too have stayed friends w/no strings attached? Or maybe not, lol

  • kS

    i dont even get why she’s THAT stupid but the stories still funny as hxll lol

  • Jamrock

    Wow, a virgin at age 26.. what were you waiting for???? and to not give it to your husband??? Wow

  • Nicole

    Lol, I waited for a fairy tale that I stopped believing in, plus I wanted to “live.” shit happens, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

  • oc

    No. She’s a tease and thats not cool. If she wanted to be friends or have some sort of grey area type relationship going, she should have stated her status upfront and let him decide if he wanted to go there or not.

  • oc

    This was a great story. Funny too. As a female, I see how she could have done what she did. Doesnt make it fair. Glad you didnt make her feel too uncomfortable.. yk with the whole line “you knew what it was….etc”.

    My favorite line was: “So Ms. Leading and I strike up the type of conversation two people have for the sake of feeling better about what they’re going to do later.”

  • NyceBryce

    You’re too nice. 1) I wouldn’t have let her stay and 2) I wouldn’t have given her a ride home in the AM. You only get the ride to the crib if you give up the keys to the treasure chest.
    She has to know there are consequences for her actions. If she wants to act like a juvenile she can get home like one. On the bus.

  • Jovi

    So much to say – So much to say. I felt for both of you. Ill just say, if she had to lie about being a virgin just to stop messing around…that’s sad for you both. More her.

  • J. Edouard


  • J. Edouard

    this really happened?

  • b.collins

    wow…that’s way harsh, tai.

  • b.collins

    So she(no specific girl, just anywoman) only gets to eat breakfast if you get to eat her?

    Furthermore, I think it’s jacked that so many ppl are going in on this girl because she’s an adult virgin…damn, when did society stop valuing morals and beliefs. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t have sex before marriage (it’s not for me to judge), but let that girl live however she wants and definitely don’t DAMN her because she’s saving it for whomever. Maybe you weren’t the one she was willing to hand the keys over to… hard to believe, i know….

    If she’s guilty of anything, it’s for coming home with some dude when she KNEW she wasn’t planning on sleeping with him(assuming she really was a virgin)-i mean, why else do you go home w/ someone from the club? To spoon?
    Maybe she has a bad mattress…

  • Danielle D

    Why she gotta be lying? LOL!! I understand Ms. Leading toooooo well, but not so much as to have someone random taking me…wait…ok but still why she gotta be lying. LOL!!! This was great! You abilities in description and re telling is AWESOME!

  • Harley

    Ok, here’s the real question. Since there wasn’t penetration, was there reciprocation?

    I think most men runs into a least one situation like this at least once in their life. It’s funny how someone said that she’s glad “you didnt make her feel too uncomfortable.” Because any guy can tell you he felt uncomfortable for the rest of the night. I’m sorry, but this is still going through my head… You meet a person at the club, ok. Then you go over to the person house you only knew “that night,” hmm… While driving home you’re tongue wrestling the whole way there, hmm.. You ask for help to change into a T-shirt, and then say you’re a virgin and you don’t want to do the dew. What??? I’ve been in that situation plenty of times and that’s definitely not cool. But I took it as a learning lesson in a subject called life. If she put you into this awkward situation as soon as you just meet her then think of the rest of the bullshit coming later. It’s best to leave her indecisive ass alone because she will be nothing but trouble.

  • Nitha

    Wow. I’m mad at her on behalf of all women with common sense. She should be slapped. And I wouldn’t have fed her nor taken her home…drop her ass off at the nearest train station. Hate to say it but if she keeps teasin guys like that somebody just might forcibly relieve her of her virginity. No I am not advocating rape, but she’s playing with fire.

  • Tia

    Ms. Thing sounds like fool. What the world, you go home with a guy who you just meant like 5 minutes ago, your all over him in the car and then once home she wants you to help her undress. She is a donkey (he-ha) and far from a virgin! As a women you can’t put yourself in these type of position unless you’re ready to get down, dirty and very raunchy! She sounds like a Weirdo! I am glad you are the type of person that you are because another man may have not took that situation as lightly as you did. So Kudos to you! If I was a guy I would have not called her back anyway even if I did smash!

  • Nicole

    Ms. Leading… Hmmm… She’s stupid. Every female knows that if you’re heading home with a guy you’ve just met at the club (alone), something is going down. Period.

    She made it seem as if something was going to happen by the way she was all over you. Man. To say the least, this situation was foul for so many different reasons…

    However, great post!

  • Shes a Bish

    I feel like something is being left out of this story from the females perspective. She sounds like she was way more than down but did you ever think that you could have done something that turned her off at the last minute? If she seemed like she was lying about holding a VALID copy of her V card then that means you fucked up some how not her.

  • fixedwater

    Am I the only one who is wondering what kind of friends were they? (given this is a true story, otherwise MyJawIsOnTheFloor) First, she can’t leave ’cause she with them, then they leave her?! Sounds like she is just a liar.

  • Malaca Jones

    I’m proud of you Nicole! Way to hold’em! Please b selective going forward.

  • Malaca Jones

    I too understand how she did what she did! I’m wondering if sex takes your naivety away or does the heart break that follows?

  • Malaca Jones

    Funny but you did the right thing Jozen!

  • Malaca Jones

    Funny! I agree and I don’t think she was lying. Damn she could had breakfast, afterall she did help you with your brother Jozen. You do get cool points for being man enough to do the right thing eventhough you were angry! Welcome to adulthood and one more cool point for not demanding we give you “credit” for doing what you were suppose to do! What a man!

  • Malaca Jones


  • Malaca Jones

    News flash everyone has the right to change their mind. No still means No, only she didn’t say no she said she was a virgin. It is interesting that everyone understands the responsibility or what is sacred about a virgin then why is she getting so much bad press because she hasn’t joined the rest of us on the cobblestoned path to hell? How many times have you been put in this position exactly? I don’t think she is lying because if she has had sex before she would know the rules of the game. This was probably lesson number one, if she told someone who schooled her that is.

  • Malaca Jones

    From the responses from the females I am surprised that noone admitted that they have been in this position at some point maybe when they were Virgins. Maybe that was so many one night stands ago they forgot. Or maybe someone sat them down at talked to them about the sex rules so they were ahead of the game. I learned from trial and error. Thank you Jozen for being a gentleman.

  • Harley

    Wow, ok now where in did I say she was lying??? Also, did I say or make any inkling promoting rape??? I’ve been in that position twice if you must know. My opinion is the same to a female if she’s a virgin or not… at any age! Just because you haven’t had sex doesn’t mean that you atomically get an “I’m stupid and I didn’t know what was going on card.” You need to step back with your attacks and chill! I didn’t make any negative statements about her being a virgin. I made statement about her being very misleading in her actions. I could have given her credit for this situation if she was 16, 17 or maybe 18 but at 26 you’re a freaking adult. You know what crowd you should and should not hang around, you know when confrontations come along you should walk away and you know if you go to two guys place that you just met that night and your being very sexual flirtatious all night that the intention of sex was really high. I would have given her props if she would have let him know about her status before she got in the car and started acting sexual. Or, even if you would have given him notice before she walked through that front door. But after you say “help me change into a T-shirt” and then the lights come off. That’s really questioning a 28 year old common sense factor. Her actions as a virgin or not is definitely not cool. Make sure your read exactly what I said next time before replying to me.

  • Nicole

    Thanks Malaca, no worries – I am definitely being prudent moving forward. In response to a question you posed (comment #9), the day after- it definitely felt like “my rose colored glasses” so to speak were shattered. Best way to describe the feeling I think. Sex both took away my naivety and made me feel human- like I registered a lot more emotional pain the months leading afterwards, & had I not done the deed, I doubt I wouldn’t have cared as much.

    I don’t think “the leading lady” should a. have left her friends, and b. ended up @Jozen’s crib considering the circumstances. Def. a “no-no,” and fortunately Jozen, you exercised wisdom and thoughtfulness on her behalf, so kudos. The fellas who responded (and were serious) saying he should have just left her or dropped her off, that’s just rude. (If you ever have a daughter in the future, I sure hope some guy she meets won’t drop her a*** in the middle of the night, just bc she ain’t givin it up).

    I think it’s sad enough when you’re a virgin, it’s equivalent to bearing a stigma, whereas anything polar opposite is glorified esp. in mainstream media. Lastly, I think they could have remained friends…people reserve the right to declare their sexual history when they’re comfortable enough with their partner- here well, she just dropped the ball right before the moment. In her mind, I have a feeling the she thought she had a stronger connection with Jozen, and probably hoped his response would be “ok, that’s cool, I can wait bc I really like u,” etc…Instead of…

  • magareet

    A brilliant fairy tale my brother, get those books into the bookstores as soon as possible, a lot of hungry readers out there!

  • SSAPAThirty

    I also feel it’s ridiculous to criticize someone for being a virgin! So what she didn’t want to have sex with you. Get over it. I agree that she definitely shouldn’t have gone home with someone she didn’t know (thank God you were not a rapist/murderer), but to describe her virginity as if it’s some kind of crime is disgusting. It’s because of men who think like you, that black women are now having a hard time finding someone who is husband-worthy. If you meet them and they’re still a virgin, because perhaps they want to wait for their husband, you’ll immediately write them off and talk about them like they’re lepers. Where’s the common sense in that?

  • Nic-nic

    Amen! I second that!

  • Malaca Jones

    You’re welcome and thank you for sharing your experience! You have to kiss alot frogs before you get to that Prince. Lord knows I know. And you are 100% correct as it relates to men and daughters. My dad always talks about how his, let’s just say dealings, have played out in our lives. I think that the love and respect that Jozen has for his mother and sister have shaped who he is as a man and who he will be as a father. His father played a role in his manhood as well. Jozen you are maturing quite nicely! Keep up the good work.

  • William

    Hey as long as blue balls are a not a part of the story it’s all good. She actually neesd to be careful doing that. Some guys would have not been a gentleman in that situation…

  • Nic-nic

    Yes, the imagery and tone of your writing is wonderful! I felt like I was right there with you (poor thing, bless your heart… but I do commend you for not forcing the situation). I don’t know how old you are but your writing style is quite engaging and inspiring.

  • KJohnson

    LOL! That was good, I agree with magareet, get your books out there ASAP!

  • Danni

    She needs to be careful going to a stranger’s house in the first place…especially if she wanted to fool around, but didnt plan on having sex. You could have been crazy! That’s how people come up missing, I have heard too many stories with this exact same set up.
    You did the right thing…and HELL NO, she doesnt get breakfast the next morning. You dont want to lead her on and give her the impression that she might be invited back.
    I’m a female, but I do not understand what she did. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin..but never have I been so desperate for affection that I LEFT MY FRIENDS, and gone home with a stanger just for some heavy petting. She knew what it was.

  • Adouma

    To piggyback on William’s comment, I have to admit that I was “Ms. Leading” when I was 19. I was a virgin, naive, and horny; a bad combination when dealing with men, apparently.

    Since we don’t know Ms. Leading’s story, let’s imagine Ms. Leading went out with a group of newer friends with whom she wasn’t that close. Let’s also imagine that she usually keeps to herself and this was one of her rarer nights out, but the group she goes with leaves her at the bar. Maybe for some crazy reason, she feels this strange man she doesn’t know who is taking such care of his brother will also take care of her. So she goes with him. He’s nice, right? They get closer, kiss, hormones take over, but it feels good. He wants sex, she wants to kiss and enjoy the horniness, per se’. She tells him, he doesn’t believe it, they continue kissing, she reiterates.

    Lucky for Ms. Leading, your story ended there. You were angry and resented her, but you stopped.

    I wish I had the same ending. I cried the whole time he took what he wanted while calling me a tease. It took me years to understand that being stupid/naive/trusting doesn’t mean I “deserved” it.

    What should she have said in the morning? Thank you for not raping me like some other man may have?

  • Malaca Jones

    First of all I want to apologize for your tragic experience. No you did not deserve to be raped under no circumstances. No means no! I don’t care if you were but naked and decided that you did not want to do it afterall. I am proud of you for having the courage to openly admit your experience, inexperience, and naivety. We all have done things that we may not have realized at the time, that we were in over our heads. We need to have more conversations about the expectations for both men and women around the topic of sex. Keep working through your pain. It will get easier to deal with the more you talk about it. Having blue balls for one night is a whole lot better than a life time of trauma @ my insensitive brothas!

  • Alisha

    All I can say is wow. I don’t think I’ve ever been Ms. Leading or been as crazy as to go home with a stranger hoping he was a gentleman enough to stop. Maybe she is a naive, horny virgin who was lucky enough to come across someone who was willing to stop when she put a halt to the activities.

  • mel

    Question? She said she was a virgin, did she say she didnt want it or did you punk out cause you didnt want to be that dude?…. cus I’m just sayin most dudes are scarrrry like that lol

  • Delishia

    Interesting comments. Great story Jozen. Lol @ not so nycebryce!

  • Jozielee

    Really well-written story.

  • leah

    First of all, this story is hilarious. It probably wasn’t at the time, but it is now. I’ve actually done this before. In retrospect though, its never cool to lead someone on. I absolutely agree that people have the right to change their minds, but her ass didn’t change her mind; she knew from jump street it wasn’t going down. that’s not cool and its actually kind of childish, especially since she went hard as hell on the way to the house (10 min session in the car, impatience on the ride to your brother’s house, etc etc). Her intentions were to intentionally mislead and that’s never cool. But this story? FUNNY AS HELL. : )

  • Anonymous

     Lol, I feel your pain. I mean, I was naive about some things too, but this was downright stupid on her part. I love your bro’s reaction at the end.