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On Liking A Girl

September 23rd, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Ever think about the difference between the person you like now and the first person you ever liked?

THE FIRST GIRL I LIKED

Her name started with an “R” and she was the only girl I liked the entire year of second grade. When I told my Pop about her, he just looked at me and said, “I’m gonna tell you this once. When you really like a girl, you can’t eat. You can’t sleep.” In other words, be careful. But I wasn’t.

I didn’t care.

She was pretty, with no makeup on, cause she probably wasn’t allowed to have any. No body to speak of because we’re in second grade. Who has a body in second grade?.  And her hair was always pulled back. Never really done. So really, it was all about the girl’s face, which was the complexion of the Cocoa Puffs I would eat every morning. Except her skin was shiny and my Cocoa Puffs weren’t.

We had the same class, and in that class, the students sat in groups of four. Her group was sitting at the table behind me, off to my left-hand side.

So what I used to do is get to class early and leave a picture I drew. I couldn’t even draw and I still can’t to this day, but I think I was just trying to make something nice for her since my allowance wasn’t enough to buy anything. Except for candy. But what kind of child buys candy and saves it for the next day?

I would scribble “From Jozen” on the pictures, put them face down on her desk and leave them there for her to see. When recess would come, she’d come up to me and say, “I saw the picture you left for me. I liked it.” And I’d say, “What picture? I didn’t leave a picture.” Then, I’d run, grab a basketball and go play  a game of 25.

Eventually, I copped to all the pictures I drew for the girl who’s name started with an “R”. Eventually, she said she liked me. Eventually, we held hands once. And eventually, one of the other girls who sat at the same table as the girl who’s name started with an “R” tapped me on my shoulder and when I turned around, she pointed to the girl who’s name started with an “R” and when I looked at her, she mouthed the words.

“I. Don’t. Like. You.”

For a while, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat.

THE GIRL I LIKE NOW

I’d like to think that being with one person for the rest of my life is a testament to my maturation as an adult, but really, anytime I have ever liked one woman and one woman only, I’m acting like my second grade self.

So I don’t draw pictures anymore.

Instead, I just walk up to her and say, “What’s up?” If she likes me too, she says, “Hi” and smiles. She has a great body. She has a great face. Her hair is done. Most of the time. She is waaaaaaaaaay smarter than a second grader.

Sometimes we like each other for a long time. But sometimes we like each other for one night. And she never mouths the words, “I. Don’t. Like. You.” Now, she texts them to me, or sends them to me in an email. Or, my favorite: Tells me straight up to my face, loud enough for anyone within earshot to hear.

Good thing I don’t  like her as much as the girl who’s name started with an “R”, which is not to say I like her less. It’s just that, well, speaking honestly, I’m not in second grade anymore.

I grew up. The naivete is gone. When I was young, in second grade, I only liked one girl. Now, I like a lot of girls, sometimes just one at a time. Sometimes at the same time.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing like the moment when you like someone. But now I’m careful like my Pop’s told me to be. There have just been too many nights where the only thing I want to eat is a sleeping pill so I can get to bed and not think about some woman who’s name starts with some letter.

So now when I like a girl, I eat. I sleep.

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  • Supergirl*thatswho.

    Haha! This is good one too! It would be nice if we could like and date people with that second grade naivete. I wonder how it would be different? Would I like it more or less? Who knows. All I know is, I love this blog! 🙂 Thanks Jozey!

  • http://www.LandonDais.com Landon

    Good Blog.

  • Nicole

    Cute story.

  • J Baby

    My Thoughts: Isn’t it funny when you are all grown up and you meet someone for the first time, it’s like your in second grade all over again. You talk all the time, you think about what your going to wear the night before, you actually look in the mirror and notice pimples you’ve never noticed before 🙂

  • kS

    this is officially one of my favorite posts EVER of all time.

  • Delishia

    This is cute! ! Love ur writing style!

  • Chanel

    I was just at this point where I could not eat or sleep. But it’s over now. Hopefully, that feeling won’t surface any time soon.

  • https://untiligetmarried.com Country Boy Roy

    Even when you get back to eating food doesn’t taste the same…

  • http://www.Ides9.blogspot.com Josh

    Damn homey. Your mastery of the pen is far above mine. I’ll get there one day bro.

  • Kita

    Jozen,
    I just started reading your blog and have to admit that most of them are very funny. I read this one and thought about my first crush. now if only adults could mark yes,no,or maybe if someone likes them.. it would make dating much easier..lol.

  • Dana

    How can you not get starry-eyed reading that story? Reminiscent of A. Keys “Teenage Love Affair”. Great writing.

  • Malaca Jones

    That was cute…

  • Yogee

    This made me think of the good old days..way back. Remember when it was a big deal to have a cute boy smooch your booty…… then run?

  • toni

    Beautiful. You are such a great writer…

  • CJ

    Very sweet. I like your style

  • http://blackgirladventures.blogspot.com Alisha

    Love it! Pops was definitely right!

  • SAM

    Great blog 😀

  • http://n/a J.Barber

    Yeah I always wondered why girls in grade school would like you one day and then the next dump you.But as adults want come out and really say what they mean concerning the break up.Seem like they had more guts then.

  • nic

    way to bring it full circle bro.

  • Megan

    Great post. Really great post.