Until I Get Married

I think that says a lot, but at the same time, it really doesn’t say anything! It means he is very passionate about how he feels for her, but that doesn’t really define whether it’s truly “love” or just “infatuation.”

Of course, it would take more than just that for most people to walk down the asile, but I know someone who married his wife after knowing her 1 month and saying something similar. 5 years and 2 kids later, they’re still married and appear happy, so it can happen…I wouldn’t take that chance though LOL

we’re all temporary in each others lives in one way or another… BUT i dig what he’s saying. this person is the person who he hates seeing walk away. we’ve all gotten into arguments or broken up with someone in the past.. sometimes gone back for a month or so only to meet the same drama.. BUT usually when i go back.. the thrill is gone.. and it was just cause i didn’t feel like being alone. it wasn’t something about that person specifically that KEPT me and my attention… or fidelity.

i dated someone recently and everything about him was differenct. not perfect but the best i ever had in all ways. we got into an argument and stopped talking for a month. for the first week i was fine cause i was mad… but then i began to hurt. there is a strong difference between sad and hurt. sad may make you cry, but hurt feels like someone stole something from you.. took something out of you and it’s missing.

the last 3 weeks of that month..i never saw him.. i was hurting.. i took a drastic step and prayed on that feeling because i wanted it to go away-i’m too player for that–feeling feelings is not my thing. i ended that prayer with “let Your will be done”.

this past saturday i walked out of a local bar in chicago.. head down–texting and walking.. and walked into him head first………

Living in the NYC metro for the past 20+ years, I have followed Lamar Odom’s basketball career since he was in high school and prior to him establishing himself an NBA player in Miami what Lamar was most well known for before that was attending 3 separate high schools before college. That tells me that I may not want to put much stock in Lamar’s sense of commitment. For all I know his high school and college hijinks may all be in his distant past but I gonna hold that view until I am proven wrong. So for right now, I am gonna go with the “dumbest”.

But Lamar aside, I have always taken the view that a man’s decision to marry is summarized by being very brave or very stupid. Brave because you are making a commitment to make your self responsible for another person’s well being and stupid because if you thought about it you would realize what a tremendous responsibility and commitment marriage truly is and entering it lightly is foolhardy.

I will no doubt get a lot of flak for my view but before anyone knee-jerks, think about what i have written. I am not undervaluing marriage, I am stating that the requirements are pretty high ideals and it takes a brave person or a foolish person to enter into it and commit to the all the ideals. Maybe that is why over half of them fail and so many more never live up to their full potential.

I agree with BoomShots in that marriage is foolish. But then again, so is parenthood. I mean, why would a woman basically risk her life to have a child? What it comes down to is LOVE is foolish. It is not logical. If you want a marriage that is based in logic, then you can just marry any old woman who is attractive enough, smart enough and who can cook and clean well enough so you have the companionship and second income. But if you want a marriage based in love, it will require you to be a fool at times. What you call stupid and foolish, I call faith. It’s all about your perspective.

i dig what you’re saying. i believe love is not enough to get married or stay married. there should be more…it has to be deeper. marriage is the second most important decision i will make in my life, so basing marriage on love is not smart in my book. i agree.

i am not super religious by ANY means, but the Bible never makes mention that a wife should LOVE her husband. it only says respect and be his help-mate.. i tend to think we were not instructed to love because LOVING people is second nature to most women. on the flip side.. the Bible instructs a man to LOVE his wife as Christ loved the church……that’s a different kind of love all together…i like to refer to that as honor. there aren’t many people (male or female) who believe in honor.

His quote reminds me of the line from Jerry Maguire…”you complete me”. But I am going to classify this quote as being both smart and dumb (or a having a good publicist). Of course it suggests that he feels passionate about her, but it also suggest that there is an emotional connection that makes him vulnerable, maybe too vulnerable. It is good to feel that raw and open for someone. That level of passion can be overwhelming but exhilarating. Many people strive for that. But marriage takes a whole lot more than just passion and excitement. But I have heard similar quotes from women and men that were physically, verbally, and emotionally abused…

It’s funny, a year ago, I would have thought that was the dumbest ass shit I ever heard. Especially since I was married before, and know that it requires so much more than love.

But since then, I met someone. THE ONE, in fact. I don’t know why, or how to explain, (and please believe, I’ve tried to make it make sense) but I just KNEW from the moment I met him, that this person was my man. PERIOD. THE END. GAME OVER. We were both with other people, him happy, me content, and so there was nothing to do about it. We’re now slowly moving towards each other (haven’t crossed the line), and as awkward as it is, it seems as natural as breathing.

i think i would have been like “ahhhh, they found true love” if he had not spent 10 years with another women and produced 3 children from that unit. or read that his baby momma threw his clothes in a recycle bin when he texted her with news of his engagement. did he not have those feelings for his children’s mother? and if not then why wasn’t he more careful to not produce 3 children? I think that people live for the moment and not for the future sometimes. I had that some fuzzy feeling when I eat rum raisin ice cream…and the same feeling when i eat home made macaroni and cheese…and again when i get a really great foot massage…”they” truly complete me and i can never live without them.

one word PUBLICITY!!! man in desperate times do something stupid to create media hype to save your wack show,sorry honey still doesnt out do your sisters sex tape but its got the bloggers blogging lol good job

Honestly, it sounds like he has been hanging with #24. I mean truly a qoute like that comes from your partna. “Shhiit. homeboy what more do you want. She understands the biz, she cool as hell, got paper. You said you can’t deal with them other hookers anymore. Man, I don’t think you want to see your life without her. It would be stupid, but hey, I am just the shooting guard that kept your *ss on staff.

Then again man, those are just words. People place words up and dig into them. I’m sure he has said other things. Drake “she the best I ever had”. Miguel Jontell “She is the blunt and I am her fire.” He is a traveling man so, there aren’t many women he can keep in his life.

Congrats Left Handed Bandit. Shout out to the Univ. of Rhode Island.

I believe you need that feeling to stay in a relationship. If you don’t, then why do people stay?! If that feeling was insignificant, then women would date the gentleman that approached them at Starbucks this morning instead of crying about the lost one for the rest of their morning commute. If that feeling was insignificant, then men would take their new assistant to lunch with a “happy ending” instead of grabbing a Quizno’s sub to eat back at the office and texting his woman about last night.

Yeah, I’ve heard people claim to be lonely or comfortable and that’s why they stay in a situation that is toxic or unfulfilling, but I think that is a protection. People hate to feel vulnerable due to the potential hurt that can be caused. Admission of falling in love in our “Ms. Independent”/”Every Girl” society is like someone placing a “kick me” sign on your back. I have no idea whether or not Mr. and Mrs. Odom are the real deal (nor do I care), but I applaud a man, a black man, for being passionate enough to put his vulnerability on public display. Even if his publicist wrote it, he allowed the statement to be presented as his own.

Marriage is what you make it. It takes consistency, diligence, prayer, patience, forgiveness, and effort to make a marriage work. If a couple has know each other for two months or two years, it will still take consistency, diligence, prayer, patience, forgiveness, and effort to make that marriage last. The feeling of, “if I had lost her, it would hurt the most”, that’s what makes you want to stay and put forth the consistency, diligence, prayer, patience, forgiveness, and effort.

Well, I think the sentiment is quite remarkable. It’s deep because it acknowledges the current depth of love/adoration/respect for it’s subject. It also acknowledges failed, past relationships that apparently weren’t devastating to the point of debilitating. Lastly, it acknowledges that the end of this current relationship could be emotionally damaging if it were no more. That one sentence is powerful enough to insinuate three distinct communications.

 Simply put: it’s a good start, but marriage is about so much more than feelings.