Things I Shouldn't Have Said to Women
I’ve always known what to say to a woman to make her smile, laugh, turn her on, or make her feel good. Call it, the gift of gab.
But there have been times where I wish my best ability was to shut the hell up and not say anything at all. These are some of those times.
Girl, congratulations!
Context: Said to a girl who I thought was pregnant. Turns out, she wasn’t.
I always go for girls most guys aren’t into.
Context: Said to a girl I was out on a date with.
I was walking by a Weight Watchers and I thought about you.
Context: Said to a girl I was dating who dieted unnecessarily and insisted she needed to be on Weight Watchers.
That’s it! Oprah!
Context: Said to a woman after I finally figured out what celebrity she looked like.
I didn’t think you were going to be able to finish that!
Context: Said on a dinner date.
You look good, today
Context: Said to women all the time, and yeah, there’s always a hissing sound when they say, “Thanks”.
Oh, look at that! It still fits!
Context: Said to a woman who wasn’t sure if she could go one dress size down.
Huh?
Context: Said to any woman who is talking to me longer than five minutes.
I saw your friend today. Yeah, it was crazy. I was walking down the street and I see this girl and I’m like, “Dang, who is that?” Then when I tapped her on the shoulder, I realized it was your girl.
Context: Said to a girl I was dating.
Oh girl, I always love when you wear those panties
Context: Said to a girl I was dating, who apparently bought them that day. She showed me the receipt as proof.
I apologize.
Context: Said after I said everyone of these things.
What The People Are Saying