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Stories: "32"

Katelyn and I just met three days ago and I’m tearing off the wrapper of the condom already. Preventive measures are important, seeing as we barely know each other, which is why once the condom is on I have one more question to ask her before we get down to business.

“How many people have you slept with?”

Katelyn, completely naked, looks at me for a moment, puzzled, and says, “Two. You?”

“Four,” I say. Then I kiss her, and the fun begins.

I wasn’t lying. After all, I was still only in my first semester at college. I had no reason to think Katelyn was lying either. She was a freshman too. So as far as I was concerned, Katelyn — easily the finest girl I’ve ever dug, who’s dug me in return — and I had a deep connection.

That was the feeling I left her dorm room with. I wanted this to get serious quickly and I think she did too.

Back at my dorm, I told a few of my boys about what just happened. I explained to them what went down with Katelyn and broke down how in just three days we were probably going to end up together.

Katelyn felt my energy.

Katelyn understood me.

Katelyn is special.

Damn that college freshman naiveté.

Back when we were freshman at Howard, my boys didn’t know much more than me about the opposite sex. We were like the blind leading the blind. Even when we weren’t asking each other for any advice, my boys and I wasted no time doling out our  takes on the opposite sex. I think it was because we wanted an excuse to talk about our individual experiences. Limited as they were, we looked for any reason to rehash a story about a woman from our small pasts, but cloaked our boasts in faux-pearls of wisdom. So naturally one of my boys responded to my Katelyn story with skepticism, and because I saw it coming, I knew exactly how to reply.

“Oh man, you’re just a hater,” I told Jake. “Besides, you all don’t even know her. She doesn’t go to school here.”

“I’m just sayin’ homie, how do you know,” Jake asked. “I mean, how do you know you’re the only one she’s done that with? One time, I was with this one girl and I thought I was the only one. Turns out mad dudes had been up in it!”

“Dude, I just know,” I said, continuing to plead my case. “She ain’t like that! She said she only been with two people before me!”

“You catchin feelings,” Jake asked.

“Naw,” I said. “I’m just sayin, what we had was on a different level.”

My other boy Rob chimed in, “Hey, if you feel that way. Do you. I was with you the other night. She’s fine.”

“Tell him that,” I said, pointing back to Jake.

“Fine or not,” Jake said. “You never know. These girls…”

“I know, these girls, whatever,” I interrupted. “I’m going back to my room. I’ll catch you all later.”

Back in my dorm room, I picked up my phone and gave Katelyn a call. She picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” I said.

“Who’s this,” she asked.

For a moment, I looked at my phone. Did I have the right number? What is this who’s this business?

“Umm, it’s Jozen,” I said.

“Oh, hey, how are you,” Katelyn asked. Her skeptical tone melted away to the familiar, sweet sound I heard a few hours ago when we were in her room.

“I’m good,” I said. “I was calling to see if you wanted to get together on Saturday.”

“Umm, yeah,” she said. “We can do that”

“Dope,” I said. “So how are you?”

“I’m good, but umm, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” Katelyn’s voice slipped back into a more serious tone.

“Okay,” I said. “What is it?”

“Why did you ask me how many people I slept with before we had sex?”

“I know, that was stupid, I shouldn’t have done that,” I said.

“Well, when you said four, were you telling the truth,” she asked.

“Yeah. I was,” I said. “Were you?”

“You were? Four people? That’s it,” Katelyn was now pressing, for what, I didn’t know.

“Yeah, four,” I said. “Four. Why do you ask?”

“Well, when I said two, I wasn’t being completely honest.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, thinking this lie isn’t so bad. After all, she felt my energy. She understood me. She was special. “So how many is it, like four too or five?”

“Umm, I don’t think I want to tell you,” she said.

“I mean, it can’t be that bad,” I said. “You can tell me. I want to know. Is it five?”

“Umm, no, it’s more,” she said.

More! I thought. Right as she said this, I could hear Jake laughing in the other room, and even though he was laughing with the rest of my boys about something completely unrelated and couldn’t hear the conversation Katelyn and I were having, he might as well have been in the conversation on 3-way. Katelyn already had to use her second hand to count the number of sexual partners she had. How could that be? I was being lied to and emasculated at the same time. Emasculated because in my immature mind, a man was always supposed to have more sexual partners than a woman.

“Umm, okay,” I said, my voice reeking with suspicion. “Well, just tell me. I promise, I can handle it. Is it like 10?”

“More.” She whispered.

“More!” I yelled.

“Why are you yelling,” she asked.

“I’m yelling because I can’t believe you lied to me and said two when it’s been more than 10! Even if you weren’t telling the truth, you can’t lie by more than like five people.”

“Well,” she yelled back. “Who asks how many people you sleep with before you’re about to sleep with them?”

She had a point. I don’t know who ever did such a thing, but I wasn’t about to let her get off the hook by shifting the argument towards me.

“Okay, but still, now you have to tell me how many,” I said. My voice was now calm, but my heart was anything but. “I mean, I thought we had something special here. I still kind of do, I just need to know how many people you’ve been with.”

“Well, okay, I’m going to tell you, but promise you won’t judge me,” Katelyn said.

I promised.

“No judgement,” I said. “Just keep it real.”

“Okay,” she said. Then after a deep breath, she hit me with it.

“32.”

I slammed my cordless phone back down on the base, and with my arm, swept it off my desk, the battery casing sprawling out from the phone in slow motion. I couldn’t believe this.

Katelyn felt my energy.

Katelyn understood me.

Katelyn is special.

Special indeed. 32! 3! 2! TOGETHER!

For the next two weeks, Katelyn called every day at least once a day, but I screened all my calls just so I wouldn’t have to speak her again.

Turns out, Jake was right. You never really know. But what I learned the hard way is I don’t really want to know anyway. The girl might be lying to me. Like Katelyn did. But if she tells me the truth, there’s a chance she could prove Jake right again. Like Katelyn did.

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  • Moskiii

    OH HELL NAW!!! Damn thats ALOT for an 18 year old. sheeesh! how is that possible?

  • Danielle D

    Laughing my a$$ off to this one. HA! Well I guess it wasn’t that funny to you poor thing. 32 is a big number for a girl or at least that is the sad double standard that everyone is taught both men and women. Moskiii is right in asking how is that possible? If it was spread out across a span of a few years…that mean she would have had a bunch of relationships, a bunch of one night stands, and a bunch of random. Or the worst a train could have occured. Like does she have a name for each number? Did she have a score pad or something?

  • http://www.mauricegarland.com Maurice Garland

    giaaaadaaaayum beesh! but yeah, same thing happened to me freshman year. i asked a chick that same question. she said 2…in a later conversation it was revealed that it was actually 7. like chris rock said, if you have to ask, you dont want to know…its always going to be too many.

  • http://www.aaronlmorrison.com/foodblog a.l.m.

    I think you forgot the part where you are supposed to say:

    “Katelyn may be _special_, but I’m pretty damn special myself. Special enough to know it’s more than about how many dudes have run up in her. Because at the end of the day, my life could be in her hands. Sure condoms protect me from some diseases and infections, but not all. Does she have herpes? Chlamydia, the most prevalent of STIs? HIV? How can I know unless I ask her? So maybe it’s not _so_ important that I know the number of people she’s had sex with, but whether she’s carrying something that could cause me great physical pain, make me sterile, or worst kill me.”

    Yeah, Jozen. I think you left out that part.

  • http://theloudprotestant.wordpress.com/ loudmouthprotestant

    Well, if she started having sex at 13, she would have averaged about 6 guys a year unless she got particularly sexual once she hit 16 and then made it more like 8 people a year. Sadly it’s totally possible.

    Now, onto Jozen. I actually have nothing smart to say–aside from sharing my math above. I can’t rake you over the coals for this one.

  • DoubbleR

    If ya’ll really were connected, those who came befor you shouldn’t matter. No? That’s a high-ass number though, LOL.

  • http://valstyleonline.com Val

    ouch

  • http://kandeezie.com Kandeezie

    Double. Standard. Period.

  • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordperss.com Brandon St. Randy

    Yes it is, Praise Allah.

  • http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ Jimmy Rice

    Man, I’m feeling your pain and LOVING your work. I’m already hooked on your blog. Check out mine when you get a minute – it’s a similar sort of vibe.
    Keep it up.

  • LinZ

    32.. God damn!!! How old was she when she lost her virginity? Sorry I don’t mean to be judging people. But that seems like a fair amount at the age of 18.. I must say another great piece I have enjoyed…

  • daviska

    wow. mmm…. first-yes this is a big number for anyone let alone someone so young…. makes you wonder if anyone taught her the lesson no one wants cookies from the cookie jar is everyone had the hands in!!
    but of course she felt pressured to lie to you because yes, she liked you. yes ,she wanted to feel connected to you. no, she did not want you to judge her.Quick reaction- lie. I’m not saying she was right but think about it from her shoes.
    which bring me to the fact that this is sooooo a double standard. men could have “ripped” the same amount of women at that age and most would not bat an eye.
    you would just be considered an experienced lover. and to most women a project. one we would have work on daily. cause with a number that high-one would assume your a playa and not a “relationship” guy. of course being the natural “fixers” we are-we would be up for the challenge!
    but lets not forget you dissed her!!! was it so hard for you to tell her you thought she was a hoe??? coming from someone she liked that may have taught her the “cookie” lesson.

  • Intrigued

    I think the reason you don’t ask “How many people have you slept with?” before sex anymore is bc you don’t want to have to answer the return question, “So how many have YOU slept with?” Has it been 32? MORE THAN 32? Hmmmmm….LOL

  • http://www.babsinblogland.com Babs

    Wow 32 at the the age of 18? That’s sad.

  • http://blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com Jolie Fatale

    LMAO.. YUP!

  • JR

    TO FUNNY.

  • Delishia

    Great story Jozen..as always. @ a.l.m. great points. @ Maurice u made part of my point…no matter what ur number a guy will think too many! You can say you’re #3 and he’ll return with WHAT? It was two guys before me? Lol but tru…my numba goes with me…to the grave lol

  • 19E20

    hilarious!!!! but hey chalk it up to being young and dumb… I mean who cares if she had 32, yea that’s a lot for 18, but hey if as long as she used protection and is not spreading stuff its all good. Also, Jozen is a fool for asking that question, but at 18 hell, you didn’t know any better…. Lesson learned…

  • Random Dude

    Real talk tho I know a chick that started her sex life at 9 and a bunch of other ones that started before 13 & if you ever heard the term “nation hoe” (might just be a Chicago thing) it’s easy enough for a girl to do 32 in a year. Messed up but it’s like that

  • me-me

    FUNNY THING ABOUT SEX IS.. IT ONLY TAKES 1 TIMES TO GET AIDS, 1 TIMES TO GET CHLAMYDIA, 1 TIMES TO GET HERPES, 1 TIME TO GET PREGNANT, 1 TIME TO GET CRABS…1 TIME……

    i don’t condone 32 people by age 18-19, but i learned a lot from volunteering health center… OH MY!

    strap up ladies and gents. i used to hate having to pull grown ups off the floor after they get their test results!

  • me-me

    times= time

  • jane

    My thought about 32 previous sexual partners at age 18 is that there may be a history of sexual abuse/exploitation. I have a hard time believing that an 18 year old girl would have really WANTED 32 age appropriate boys to have explored her goodies.

  • Leah

    Why do men always ask questions to which they don’t really want to know the answers? It’s like that Chris Rock bit where NOTHING the woman says could be good in that situation. “Two? TWO?! Damn. I guess that’s just how you was raised.” *lmao*

    Normally, I don’t understand what numbers have to do with anything. Rather, I’d be more concerned with (as others have pointed out) whether or not you got something that’s going to get ME. However, 32 partners at the age of 18 is a bit disconcerting. I’m leaning toward the sexual abuse theory someone else postulated. That or really low self-esteem. Good googa mooga!

    Either way, that wasn’t your concern when you found out. Your ego was bruised because you weren’t “special” anymore. But you figured it out eventually. Pobrecito.

  • Malaca Jones

    I agree. That is real sad! :-(

  • J Baby

    So I know I am late posting my comments. I am trying to catch up on my readings. This story is interesting. I feel as if a man should not ask a woman how many people she has been with as well as a woman should not ask a man. A man wants to settle down with a woman who hasn’t slept with a lot of guys but they have slept with plenty of women before settling. I feel as if a man will never know the truth about how many men she has been with. Jozen if she told you 5 and it was really 10 how would you ever know she was lieing. YOU WOULDN’T. Its not important. Me personally have only been with 4 but then again how do you know Im telling the truth. As long as both partners have been tested for HIV, STDs and what ever else I think that is all that really matters.

    I can’t believe you stopped to talking to this girl because she was honest with you. I bet the next man that asks her that question the number she will give will be way less than 32. Why? Because of how you reacted. For a man I must say 4 partners is surprising. I haven’t met a man with only four partners but then again how can I tell you are telling the truth. My point is this, stop asking women how many people have they been with because you will only know what they tell you.

  • Pingback: Until I Get Married » On Keeping Count of The Number of Partners We Had()

  • http://www.trinibeauty.com Allie

    Yuck! That’s crazy!!!

  • Naja

    this story was spit my milk out of my mouth funny