Wordy McWordPants on this second part, and not just because we share a name. You and Dillah hit the nail on the head. It’s all about wanting to keep control and keep your own feelings in check. And I have to fully admit to having done the same under similar circumstances. You create these ridiculous boundaries in these situations because they WILL lead down the “slippery slope” of “catching feelings” (I refer to mine as the ToA or “Terms of Agreement”). To not catch feelings, one must play games — not with the other person — but with oneself.

I disagree with that. a “player” (whatever that really means) is the ulitimate politician and could win elections with the bullshit that he feeds women. He may not lie, but he will present the truth in such a way that the lie may have actually been more truthful. The truth (in its purest form) would make any sane and self-respecting woman fall back, or at least seriously consider her steps before going forward. So the “player” circumvents the truth but gives himself credit for being in its vicinity. fail.

the player is just scared to walk the dog. scared of losing control of his feelings. scared of getting in too deep. scared of commitment. scared of missing out. scared of taking a risk in the most riskiest of businesses…but no risk = no reward.

just my humble!

peace.

After reading this submission, the first thought that came to my mind is that this is SOME B******T! Whatever happened to genuine good people doing genuine good things for others? Why does it always have to be that someone is looking for a relationship when small favors are asked? Since when is, “can you help me change my light bulb?” translated to I want to marry you and have your baby? What is the difference between the little old lady who needs help carrying her groceries to her home and doing the same for the woman you are sleeping with? I mean…really?

I think of it like this, any guy who would not even remotely consider doing the most mundane task because the request just so happen to come from the woman he was sleeping with is not a “Player.” In actuality, it would make him a “Dickhead!”
It says a great deal about a person’s level of maturity. At my age (I’m 30) we should act a bit more grown with situations like this.

Me (as I put my hair back up), I refuse to treat people in such a manner. No es mi estilo (translation: not my style). [Spanish lesson for the day]

I make sure I take care of myself and don’t need to depend on people for much. But I’d be damned if the man I’m sleeping with refuses to help me with a small favor because he believes I would be asking too much. Small acts of kind deeds can go a long way for both individuals.

Fix ya Face, Wake up, and Pay attention!