Comments on: Warning: Read Fine Print Before Dating My Unemployed A**

By: A Compromise On Taking Women Out to Eat « Until I Get Married

A Compromise On Taking Women Out to Eat « Until I Get Married — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:53:19 +0000

[...] of any kind until I found a job. Those who started reading later, remember the post where I said I lied, I was still going out on the occasional date or [...]

By: Lilie

Lilie — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:33:16 +0000

or maybe i just fall into 3. but thats ok too im not mad at ya pce

By: Lilie

Lilie — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:32:12 +0000

that explains a lot…

By: FlawedBeauty

FlawedBeauty — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:22:46 +0000

Great post. I can completely relate to this since I’ve been unemployed since December (but by grace start a new job tomorrow) and I can say that I completely turned into someone I did NOT know over the past ten months. Now as the first comment said there’s definitely fun to be had while unemployed.

Maybe because I am a woman I was happy to date around (A LOT) during this period of unemployment and I will say I have been able to have more lunch dates, dinner dates, coffee dates, club dates and late nights than EVER before…

But I have to say I think this is because I am a woman. I swear up and down if I were a man it could NOT happen that way… but fun & cheap are good themes!

By: Leah J

Leah J — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:22:56 +0000

In all honesty, I think EVERYONE needs to get in the frame of mind of spending time with folks instead of spending money on THINGS. Living in NYC, it’s so easy to want to “go out,” but really, I hate large crowds and would rather be with the folks I care about, so essentially, I end up paying money for something I could’ve done for free — hang with my peeps. Yeah, it’s fun to experience new restaurants and such every once in awhile, but we need to learn how to enjoy each other’s company without all the background noise.

Your dating scenario reminds me of the friends I have who live with their parents and always want to do something “scene-y.” (But now that I think about it, if I still lived with my mother I would want to get the hell out as much as possible, too.)

I am employed, but I have been impacted by the recession and I can’t “make it rain” or anything right now, so I’m creative. Dude, you can buy 3 BOTTLES OF WINE in Trader Joe’s for the cost of ONE GLASS OF WINE in most bars. C’MON! That’s not just being frugal; it’s practical. Martinis taste just as good on my couch as they do up in *insert flashy bar here*, and sometimes better. Recognize.

By: Black Girl Thinking

Black Girl Thinking — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:41:12 +0000

I SO love this post!
I can truly relate to what you are saying. Wayyyy back when I engaged my fiance` lost his job and he turned into someone I didn’t know. Of course he was still the same person but he someone couldn’t accept that even without a job I was still there. AND if I mentioned anything like going to dinner or out for fun he suddenly got a headache. Anything that involved spending money was out of the picture.
I really didn’t understand it. I know that being unemployed is no joke, but you definitely gave me a better understanding by writing this.

By: Dililah

Dililah — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:38:15 +0000

Thank you!

By: Kandeezie

Kandeezie — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:33:30 +0000

Love your honesty and ability to reflect in the moment. Makes you better than most. And when things become more cash-friendly, you’ll appreciate who you’re seeing and what you’re doing even more.

By: Perdita

Perdita — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:48:57 +0000

As a former unemployed person I feel you on this one. I started working at 15 and went into the Navy at 18 so after seperating in September of 04 I was jobless for about 9 months and as time went by the more depressed I got and the more I ate! I never realized that so much of my self-esteem was wrapped up in me ability to get a job and keep it. Things change and they change for the better I am working my way back to myself now. 2009 has been a hell of a year.

By: Natasha

Natasha — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:33:17 +0000

Isn’t it funny how the hardest of times, situations, whatever can makes you realize your true self, and what is really important.

Oh and in response to Dililah no I think its beautiful to have compassion for someone you have no ties to, if more of us were like that or just thought that way, I think the world would be much better place.