Comments on: James Cameron on Marriage

By: Saltwater

Saltwater — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:40:57 +0000

You don’t have to look far to find people who are doing what Cameron does and don’t seem to have the same personal relationship issues: Spielberg seems to have no problem balancing film career and being a husband to Kate Capshaw and father to her children. Outside of Hollywood, many of the world’s greatest artists and writers were able to be husbands, partners and parents while still making great art. This is just a cheap self-deception and a rationalization, an effort to polish a turd that is his own emotional failures.

By: Blackwatertown

Blackwatertown — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:41:56 +0000

As if there wasn’t already enough pressure on Barack Obama. Let’s add it up. He’s got the job of representing Americans abroad. He’s the embodiment of Black people in the USA. And now, on top of that, he also has to maintain his position as an unblemished icon of fatherhood and being a good husband.
I tip my hat again to his grace under pressure. But, whilst not doubting that he is doing a pretty good job of balancing the career and family just now, I fear he could be the exception.

By: EricaB

EricaB — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:27:51 +0000

I am shocked to see that no one thus far has made any comment on the first half of Cameron’s statement, “Anyone can be a father or a husband.” I don’t know what kind of world Mr. Cameron is living in, but it certainly takes a special kind of man to be a father (not a sperm donor) or a husband (not a roommate). There is plenty to be said for those men who make the effort to be husbands and fathers, regardless of their career status.

By: AnonyMiss

AnonyMiss — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:20:10 +0000

You know, it’s one thing to abandon your S.O. for your career…. but to abandon your children??? That’s never ok and that just says something about the hearts/minds of men that so many of them can abandon their children to chase their own dreams. I’m not tryna put men down. I’m just saying this is pretty different than the thinking of most women. If God told me today that I had to make a choice between having the career of my dreams or the family of my dreams…. I’d choose family.

By: Brittany Castaneda

Brittany Castaneda — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:43:00 +0000

Surprisingly introspective. I hope you’re able to grow & accomplish both.

By: Dililah

Dililah — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:20:33 +0000

This was a great submission!!! The initial emotion I had was sadness, but it helped me put things in perspective.

BMI – your comment spoke to me so much. Good stuff.

By: BoomShots

BoomShots — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:11:13 +0000

It will forever amaze me when women choose to marry men who are succesful and defined by their work and then complain that all they do is work. Well duh!!

He was the greatest thing since slice bed when you met him and all that is dynamic about him was tied to what he did for a living. Now you expect him to be less dynamic, less driven and less of a workaholic egomaniac. To paraphrase Cassius in “Julius Caesar”: “The fault, is not in our stars. But in ourselves….”

Cameron’s ex-wife blamed him when the flaw was in her expectations not his. I tell folks all the time my father was a great dad but as a husband he was below average at best.

The problem is too many women think men are somehow wired like they are. We get married and have kids and now our desire is to home with her and the kids and everything we do for the rest of our lives is centered on the family. There is nothing worng with that but very few men I know have that at the top of their list and the ones who are really driven, don’t even have it on the list.

There is a price to be paid for the glamor and material comfort that comes with being married to a baller and shot caller. If you make that choice, you need to be able to pay that cost.

By: Teach It

Teach It — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:52:21 +0000

It all comes down to choices. People must realize that you cannot necessarily “have it all”. Making a decision means leaving something behind. Very rarely can we have it both ways. When people try to have busy careers and raise a family, one will be neglected, and it’s usually the one where you don’t get a paycheck.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:37:25 +0000

This topic really resonated with me. My best friend is a VP in the film industry. Dating always took a backseat to his career. After achieving a certain level of success, he’s ready to find “her” and start a family. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve watched him date an embarrassing number of smart, beautiful, talented women. All with the hope of finding his soul mate. Sometimes I wonder if he stepped over her on the path to success. I know that he is happy but I see the way he looks at his brothers, all married, with envy. Even though this blog is about men, this topic is relevant to women. Many of my successful female friends sacrificed relationships to get to the top of the corporate ladder. They own homes, have big titles, fat salaries, and unfulfilling love lives. In addition, there’s that biological clock thing. Maybe you can’t have it all or at least at the same time. The romantic in me is inspired by stories about couples that have the ability to nurture each other dreams and grow together. John Grisham’s wife encouraged him to leave his career as a lawyer to write. She reads all of his drafts and he values her feedback. Like the Obamas, it probably takes work and picking the right partner.

By: RtG

RtG — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:28:59 +0000

It should be noted that Barack and Michelle went through a rough patch in their marriage precisely BECAUSE his work/life balance was out of whack. Michelle wasn’t playin’ that and he made some adjustments. I bet it’s never been a 50/50 split, and I don’t think most women, including Michelle, realistically expect it to be. But for a man to out-and-out say that his family comes second to his career is tough to take. I don’t know many non-golddigging women who would do that. Not happily anyway.