Five Signs I'm Hanging Out With Her Too Much
If there is one thing I give women credit for, it is their ability to change me in the most subtle ways. Many women assume I’m always trying to keep some space between us because I would rather be doing something else like hanging out with my boys, watching the game, but such logic merely scratches the surface.
The reason I try to maintain some space between a woman I’m dating is because I know, at some point, some of her pleasures and habits are going to become mine, even if it isn’t by design. Sure I want to take part in things she enjoys, but immerse myself in them nearly to the point of embarrassment? Only by accident.
To avoid such accidents, I do my best to retread a little. The question is how do I know when it’s time to do such a thing? Usually, the five things below are a good sign.
My Natural Smell Starts To Have Faint Undertones of Secret Deodorant
Whenever I start bringing my stuff over to a woman’s place, I know it’s a serious thing we have going on, so to keep things light and casual, I’ll often just come with the clothes on my back and worry about washing up when I leave the next day. But what sometimes happens is I never make it home the next day, and have to take a shower at the woman’s place before we grab a bite or something like that.
I get my wash on, my dry on, my teeth brushing on with some tooth paste on the index finger. But deodorant? There’s no substitute for that, so I resort to using the brand strong enough for me, and when I say strong, I do mean strong. Whenever I have to use a woman’s bottle of Secret deodorant, the smell stays on me all day, which is what it’s supposed to do. The problem is I swear everyone else can smell it too.
We Both Start To Refer To Her Place As Home
She can call her place her home all she wants, it’s her place, but once she starts or I start referring to her place as my home without any hesitation, I know we’ve gone too far.
Many people think this would never happen to them, but it’s a minor case of misspeaking and people need to watch out for it because what it indicates is boundaries are slowly being crossed. Whenever a woman asks me, “Are you on your way home tonight?” and I know she meant her home not mine, I always clarify by saying, “Naw, I was thinking about coming to your place though.”
I Start To Enjoy The Same Snacks She Enjoys When I’m By Myself
Look, I don’t date women who have weight issues, but every once in a while, I end up dating someone who thinks she does. As a result, I’m housing 100 Calorie Oreo Snack Packs and washing it down with some diet soda like I’m a 10-year-old at a pizza party because that’s all she has at her place. A taste for these treats starts to develop over time, and the next thing I know, I’m in the supermarket throwing boxes of 100 Calorie Snack Packs and 2-liters of Coke Zero in my shopping cart.
I Know Everything Going On With Real Housewives and Nothing In Sports
This one sneaks up on me all the time.
I’m at her place, more than my place, and rarely paying attention to what’s on the screen. Over time, I fail to notice I haven’t seen a game in any sport for a week straight but what I have seen a lot of is some Real Housewives marathons.
Used to be I could make a sound argument as to why Kobe Bryant is better than LeBron James, but ever since I started dating whats-her-name, the only good arguments I can produce is which season of Real Housewives was better, Atlanta or New Jersey. My vote is for Atlanta, but why do I even have an opinion?
I Always Make Sure To Put The Toilet Seat Down…On My Own Toilet!
If there is one thing I have learned about women it is this: No matter how clean or dirty the rest of their apartment is, they are all sticklers for keeping the toilet seat down, and rightfully so. No matter what they’re using it for, a toilet seat must be down, which is why I always do my best to remember to do so whenever I use their bathroom. This is just me being a decent man and remembering proper etiquette. Nothing wrong with that. But when I start asking my boys, “Hey dog, did you put the seat down” after they’re finished using my bathroom or curse myself for not doing so, I know the ways of the woman have infiltrated my system. What kind of man stresses over someone not putting his toilet seat down? Well, if I’m hanging out with a woman too much, it’s usually a man like me.