Comments on: Stay Talking About My Ex

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:26:32 +0000

Reading this post made me think of one thing….GET OVER YOUR EX!!!!

By: uhn huh

uhn huh — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:24:03 +0000

I’m no therapist/psychologist(and such) but I do know I’ve been emotionally abused in a previous relationship before and the truth is talking about it (for me anyway) is just like purging it out of the system… it’s hard to accept you dealt with isht like that, so part of you talking about it just may be you subconsciously dealing with the fact that it happened to you- hell it’s traumatic… Keeping it inside will have a worse effect I’m sure… get that isht up-off of you- nah mean!?! It’s been several years for me and if it wasn’t for the fact I did talk about it and just got really truthful with myself like “dang that dude really did me grimy”- I’d prolly still be with that fool… So don’t feel bad- ya man/friends/fam should understand as long as you’re communicating and being open about it. After a while- you won’t really need to hold anything in cause there won’t be anything left to say… you got it all out and won’t even feel the urge to talk about it like that anymore… but, that’s how I see it

By: Danielle D

Danielle D — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:41:22 +0000

I feel you. My ex was like my real first Boyfriend and my first of many things. We broke up this time last year, matter of fact I am the one who really ended things. When I started talking to my current Boyfriend, we both found ourselves in conversations about our exes and how they pissed us off during the relationships and how we were somewhat messed up from those situations. Me and my current BF have been talk now for almost 6 months and every now and then I still mention my ex but not because I still have feelings for him, more so because I was emotionally abused by him and so being with someone who treats me right damn near amazes me so he might say or do something nice, kind, or sweet and I will be like really and I will think “my ex would have been like” sometimes thoughts stay thoughts and sometimes thoughts come out. I feel bad at times cause I don’t want to mention these things anymore. So I have been trying to make a vowed with myself to stop speaking of these things.

By: LeManie ;)

LeManie ;) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:15:29 +0000

It’s funny how we have to “get over” exes. But the truth is, big loves are serious experiences. They become a part of us. Nobody tells you to get over college, or get over childhood … no, those years represent a lot of learning. We don’t drop those — we build on em.

Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you stop talking about things that happened in your younger days. Nothing wrong with reminiscing … maybe just bad if you’re trying to re-live it.

By: Dana

Dana — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:51:10 +0000

I’m happy you decided to discuss this topic, because I definitely was wondering what was up with all the references to the ex. However, since you don’t interact with your commenters and I don’t know you personally, I thought it would be out of line to ask. Havivng said that, it does seem that you are indeed NOT over your ex….and that’s okay. Maybe you are feeling like you should be, hence the post.

It is what it is. You have the option to share (or not) whatever you choose to about your personal life and as a woman, I value your insight on topics as they pertain to relationships. But…privately, in your own heart and head, if you are still dealing with regret, love or loss from your last serious relationship then at least admit to and try to deal with it. You may be sabotaging and/or pushing away a really great woman because of this. Go at your own pace. There is no book of love.

By: Skye Blue

Skye Blue — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:46:24 +0000

Part of me sees what you’re saying and even relates on some level. But the last few words, ‘trust me, i’m fine’ made all your previous statements re being over her and the shift in how you talk about her seem weak – much weaker than they actually are. That’s because every time I hear the words ‘Trust me, I’m ______,’ I start to think that the person speaking is trying convince themselves more than they are trying to convince me.

Having said that, like ‘uhn huh’ said above, some relationships take a long time to be truly done with. And if the relationship with her was ‘the main event’ as you say, you’ll probably be talking/thinking about her for the rest of your life – the same way most people would dwell on any other life changing event.

Admittedly, if that is the case, it may not be comfortable for the women of your future, but if they choose to be with you perhaps they’ll have to accept that as part of the package?

By: uhn huh

uhn huh — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:26:54 +0000

I SO want to believe you…but- no dice. What’s wrong with not being over her? Some relationships take a LONG time to accept and truly be done with- there’s nothing wrong with that. It kinda sounds like you wouldn’t even know if you were over her or not- no offense… was there a point of closer? I doubt you can be over someone for real without it… I’m not trying to discredit how you feel/think but, maybe you should re-evaluate- you wrote ALOT just then… I’m just sayin “actions speak loudly”- Ya feel me?

By: BoomShots

BoomShots — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:20:49 +0000

If men shared this part of themselves more often with each other without fear of being clowned, I believe a lot more women would be thankful. This post reverberated with me because I have lived it. I never got pass it until I confronted her and offered to give her everything she had wanted from me in our prior relationship. Even though it was like 5 years later, she said no and I was finally released. It was as if I was under a curse, one that I had to re-visit, submit myself in order to get redeemed.

For most of the women in that 5 years spans, I had nothing to offer but my most sincere apologies. In retrospect they had no chance at real happiness with me because I was stuck. One lady I spent 2+ years with on and off, I did apologize to in person, once I recognized that my behavior towards her had less to do with who she was and more about me and my failure to get past lost love.

The worse part is that my friends and family loved her and so it was hard to dmonize the memories of her so I could move on. I too still talk about exes but she is still has an unimpeachable spot in my memories. Nay a negative word is ever mentioned about her. I doubt her former fiancee who followed me can say the same. Its his curse to carry now, HA, HA!!

Some past loves will haunt you for a long time and until you can get past the emotional memories you may be stuck in a relationship limbo. I don’t think women have some intuition about whether a man is still hung up on his ex. I think women’s intuition is have a man they are interested in reference them before all other women…even Moms.

By: Roni

Roni — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:53:18 +0000

I feel you on this. I still talk about my last ex and I have been married for 9 years and have had two kids since our break up. The lips of my friends still slide over into a smirk whenever I do and even I sometimes feel it’s a bit weird that he comes up so often because I AM over him. Still, you’re right, there is the “me” that I was before him and who I was after I came out of that relationship. He has a lot to do with who and where I am today, even if he is no longer here today and I’m grateful to him for that … so he deserves a special mention here or there. And so does your ex (so long as you are truly over her). ;^)