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On Cheating and Tiger Woods

November 30th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Over the weekend, everyone heard about what happened with Tiger Woods. How he was leaving his house at like 2:30 in the morning, and got into a car accident. How his wife came outside and busted open the window of the car with one of his golf clubs. How he had to go to the hospital because, among other things, his face was looking like he got in a fight in a Lamborghini with Chris Brown.

Once the news hit, the rumor mill started spinning like rims on a  2009 Cadillac Escalade, and of course the most entertaining and scandalous rumor of them all was Tiger Woods was seeing a woman on the side. According to this New York Times article, in the 36 hours after news of the accident broke, over 3,200 stories were published in print and on the web, and without reading even 32 of them, I’m pretty sure most of them were running on the gossip juice.

Now I’m not one to keep the rumor mill churning. Personally, I believe the media should stop all the speculating. Unfortunately for Woods, speculating is so much fun. We’re all throwing rumors out their, just hoping Woods will confirm them. We want him to come right out with it and say he was doing something he shouldn’t. Bonus points if he holds a press conference and cops to adultery with his wife by his side like Kobe Bryant.

But if Tiger Woods cares about his family more than his fame, he won’t say a word. And by doing so, not only will he be protecting his clan, he will be protecting his race too, at least one half of it.

Cheating may not be a black thing, but damn if it isn’t portrayed that way in the media. The majority of great African-Americans, athletes especially, are almost always humanized by stories of adultery. Pay close attention to biopics like Ray (about Ray Charles) and Ali (about Muhammad Ali). Both movies exploit their difficulty with monogamy in an effort to make them seem more like us. Check out what Clint Eastwood who directed and produced an upcoming film about Nelson Mandela, entitled Invictus, said about meeting the man in the current issue of GQ:

GQ: When you met Mandela, did you learn anything from him on how to be, how to live?

Eastwood: Eh, no, because he was a guy who had a lot of faults…he had problems with women. I guess he liked…Ah I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that.

GQ: He said with a grin.

Eastwood: His private life was probably not as great as his public life. He’s a man underneath it all.

The implication of Eastwood’s answers is when it comes to women, men will be men, no matter their color, creed, or class.

Because cheating isn’t a black thing, or an Asian thing, it isn’t a football or a golfer thing, a rich thing or a poor thing. Cheating, I hate to say this, is a man thing; a grown man thing, and sometimes a little man, still in high school, thing. And sometimes, it’s a woman thing, although, men hate to hear that sort of thing. It has been my thing, it has been other men’s thing. It’s been the thing of fathers, husbands, brothers of sisters. Now, it could possibly be this one-of-the-most-famous-and-richest-athletes in the world thing,

But I’ll tell you what it isn’t. It isn’t a new thing.

Nobody should accept cheating in their relationship, but we should accept the fact that every man does it and it’s not bound to one particular group of men. As I said on Twitter the other day, if that man did in fact cheat on his wife, the “I Am Tiger Woods” slogan has become truer than it ever was.

When all the rumors about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife started to surface, and many women I know wanted to blame it on stupid things like him being black, I was reminded of the time I was playing Taboo.

Everyone knows how to play Taboo, the game where one person must refrain from using a list of clues to describe a person, place, or thing and his or her team must guess what it is based on other clues not listed. On this particular night, in this particular game, it was men against women, and it was the women’s turn. A woman picked up her card, and the first clue she gave was, “He cheated on his wife.”

From there, all the women started to scream the names of famous black men. I’m talking everybody from Kobe Bryant to dare I say, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Unfortunately, all of those answers were incorrect. It wasn’t any of those guys. The final answer wasn’t even the same color as any of those guys. The final answer was actually white. You may have heard of him. His name is Bill Clinton.

 

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  • Danielle D

    You know its a damn shame that at the end of the day cheating is really a “Men thing”. So I guess I should look at life like that…although I don’t want to be cheated on, I probably can’t stop it. My mom always says its not what you do but how you do it. If a man is gonna do it can he not be a dick about it and try to protect his family…don’t be nasty hanging out in the streets with the other woman making his girl look dumb (I know a woman who HASSSSSS to look and feeeeel dumb.) don’t make babies in the street, don’t take the other woman around friends… try to be discreet…try to act like “I love my wife/girlfriend, but I gotta try just one more.” Now if you don’t love her anymore or you need a way out of the relationship, break up or get a divorce. ARGH! at guys who cheat and are bastards about it. I haven’t even been cheated on but I know the pain it causes in a indirect way. On another note: You ever notice how right after women give birth to a baby you hear that the husband cheated. Maybe women need to start letting their husband “hit dat” in during the 8th or 9th month…LOL nah they’ll still cheat. LOL!

  • Nick

    Best article I’ve read about Woods in the last 72 hours. Very impressive.

  • http://theblvdmag.com Ashley

    Excellent post Jozen! I was thinking the same thing, and I agree. If what he is saying about the issue being an embarrassing, private family matter is true then he will, as man of the house, handle it as such and let the rumors stay exactly that. Unfortunately for him, and any other public figure, there are too many people trying to profit off of this. Ol’ girl has already hired Gloria Allred, so we all know what that means.

  • http://theblvdmag.com Ashley

    Ok, so call me naive, but I do know men who have been faithful, largely because they’ve grown up seeing what cheating does to a family. Everyone makes mistakes, but it just seems like more and more of my lady friends are accepting cheating as a way of marriage. It may be a way of life for some, but it doesn’t have to be a way of marriage. We all know cheating is not just a man thing. Anybody can cheat. There are just those who chose not to.

    I agree with Danielle, if it’s done, don’t be nasty about it, but shit with all of the deadly and just plain gross diseases and illnesses going around, why can’t “people” use the same willpower that it takes to abstain from any other temptation? Sorry, just confused why people are accepting this as appropriate behavior in a marriage.

  • BoomShots

    When a woman says she has not been cheated on, the probability is that the men she may have been with have been grown about it. I try to explain all the time to many folks, without much success I must admit, that American society is one of the few places in the world where male infidelity invokes such visceral responses, even from men.

    I have had the benefit of living and learning about societies outside of the US and one thing that I became aware of at a very early age is that infidelity n most other societies are treated as a benefit of male privelege. I know that does not make it right but like Moms always said: “No one said life was fair”

    So a dude like Tiger Woods possibly cheating on his wife, sends up no red flags for me. Afterall, it would be a shame if someone that rich and famous was not getting something on the side. What would be the benefit of having alll that fame if you cannot be self-indulgent. If I was a rich and famous athlete or celebrity I would have to postpone the marriages and serious relationships until I was like 40 or whenever I feel the need to slow down because Hoing is a thing you have to get out your system or you will be hurting that Misses feelings one way or another. It is somewhat inevitable.

  • LS

    “We should accept the fact that every man does it”

    Can’t agree with this. Not every man cheats. There are some good men out there who are faithful to their partners.

  • Teach It

    No, Jozen. Every man does not cheat. I wouldn’t even say, most men cheat. Why make such a generalization? Cheating is dishonest, hurtful, and wrong to do. Have we really come to this? This “all men do it-even Tiger Woods” bs?

  • http://theblvdmag.com Ashley

    Wow, Boomshots opinion is a lil alarming. No one is saying that cheating does not happen, but the adult way to go about it, like you said is to not get married if it’s just about the pussoi. There is no “adult” way to cheat. You’re breaking vows, under whatever higher power you believe in.

    And staying single until you’re 40, or whatever older age, just so you can enjoy the spoils of playing a sport well is pretty pathetic unless that’s all you want to do in life, IMO. Many adults realize that there is much more to life than a lot of sex.

  • Dililah

    Agree!!! Individuals should really start thinking about the true meaning of marriage before even thinking about taking that step.
    Its also pretty damn pathetic that one needs to use their status of being “rich and famous” to get women on the side. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about self-indulgence, but not at the expense of others feelings.

  • Tanya

    The line “there are a lot of good men out there that don’t cheat” sounds like a generalization much like “all men cheat”. Because a man cheats is he automatically a bad boyfriend, husband, or person? What about all the good things he does for their families besides that? I’m just throwing the question out there because I always see the word “good” thrown around in these types on conversations, and I wonder how big a deal that indiscretion is in the grand scheme of your life with that person.

    Anyone read the book “I Don’t”? It’s an interesting look at marriage in the western culture.

    Good post as usual Jozen!!

  • http://theblvdmag.com Ashley

    Right, I had to ask one of my older “grown” man friends. He agrees with Jozen’s overall points, but to Boomkat he says this: “a) All that hoeing he’s talking about leads to STI’s. you may not be clean enough to get down with wifey when you’re finally ready to “settle”
    and b) with the exception of a tiny, tiny percentage of our population none of us is going to rich and famous of our own accord.
    You can be successful but most significant wealth is accumulated over time, and study after study shows that married folk do better in terms of generating wealth and retaining it than do singles esp. for men: we do better on average, when married than women do. Find the right chick and she does indeed make you better so his points work in theory, but in practice, only in very few cases.”

    It’s not to come down on anyone, but if we start changing the thinking before any of us get married (assuming that no one who has commented isn’t already married) then maybe we can start to see a healthier, more unified community.

  • me-me

    cheating is a human being thing.

    but JOzen, i think you’re reaching with the “protect your race thing”. Every show I watch on TV down to cartoons depicts the man or woman (Lois Griffin) as a cheater of some kind.

    I wonder if white people sit back and count how many times they are shown as druggies, pedophiles, and cheaters in movies? or have they accepted that people that share the same skin color as them are humans= people with flaws.

    tiger does not claim black… so why are we trying to pin a “save the black race” cape on him?

    MJ is one of the most famous and richest ballers known to man… and he GETS BUSY with his bust downs and makes no apologies for it!

    i do agree with your point about keeping his mouth shut.. he doesn’t owe us anything. besides his wife will tell it all if they ever get a divorce.

  • me-me

    always remember that kobe, mj, and possibly tiger couldn’t cheat if hoes wouldn’t exist.

    and let’s not make it about money and status. i’m sure many of us know someone or maybe we are that someone whose been sleeping with the same LOSER for years and this he doesn’t pay for anything… don’t have a job, and wouldn’t help you get a loaf of bread if you were hungry.

    cheating has little to do about status in most cases (being that most of us don’t have access to these celebs).. it’s about OPTIONS and self-esteem.

    most people cheat because they can.

    (and by can i mean- wifey or hubby is playing the blind eye and won’t leave them after catching them or besidse the infidelity they’re good husbands or wives–sometimes it’s better to rock with the devil you know instead of jumping into some b.s. for a “maybe”- weigh your headaches–…. OR their side piece is down for whatever…etc)

  • me-me

    Preach sister!!!!

    i also believe that there is not such thing as a GOOD man or woman by definition that transcends all races, cultures, etc. what’s good for me may be sub par for the next lady.

    there are no perfect relationships! we just have to figure out what we cannot tolerate, weigh the outcome of leaving and staying, make a decision and stick with it.

  • yl

    “…we should accept the fact that every man does it…”

    Really? Seriously? Where the fuck did you come up with this? Is almost kind of funny how you think you know enough to make a statement like this. EVERY man, really?

  • LumbarPuncture

    Most of these responses have already said what I’ve been thinking but I do want to ask if this is going to be the norm? Am I supposed to get married with the expectation that my husband is going to cheat on me? Is this society *really* moving to a point where anyone asking for fidelity is setting their sights too high???

  • http://theblvdmag.com Ashley

    exactly

  • BoomShots

    Folks believe in heaven and hell, one god, many gods and all other matter of things that give them comfort. Much of which cannot be be factually proven or disproven. Some folks want to believe that “good” men don’t stray and fidelity is somehow the cornerstone of marriage and to all of that I say que se ra se ra.

    I doubt I will change the minds of the detractors so passionate in their opinions, I can just past on some knowledge. I hold no illusions about my fellow man and the only men I will ever criticize in regards to infidelity are the hypocrites and the serial abusers, because men so much greater than I could ever be, MLK, Mandela etal have been unfaithful to their spouses. Other man I have known who are the types of father and family men I can only hope to be have also succumbed to the temptation of the flesh. But I understand those men because all the awards, all the fame and all the money in world cannot make a man feel better than the attention of an attractive woman. FDR was wheel chair bound and he was getting some on the side.

  • http://www.corettaselegantevents.blogspot.com Coretta

    I personally see cheating as attempted murder given all of the diseases out there. There is no excuse. It is not something that is or should be accepted that all men will or must do and I find it ridiculous to accept that concept. There ARE men who don’t cheat. It is possible. Don’t fool yourself with that lying excuse that all men do it. You just did it because of your own personal failure. But you aren’t going to assuage anything by just saying that you are one of many.

  • Girl Politik

    I can’t help but postulate that maybe such a gross acceptance
    of infidelity is a reason why marraige rates are so low in our
    community. Maybe if more people didn’t treat their vows
    with such levity, we’d see more folks who stay married.
    If you’re going to cheat, why get married? Just stay single.
    Why put your spouse through something like that?

  • http://christielover.blogspot.com/ short circut

    Very nice, love your points, points of views and the way you laid it down.

  • Teach It

    Cosigning…it’s a sad place to be when expecting your mate to be faithful is now seen as a high expectation or privelege. Whenever one of these cheating stories makes the headlines, it never surprises me how some men (who have nowhere near the status of any Z list celebrity) seem to praise this type of behavior. Imaginary props are given out for this base, dangerous behavior. It’s sadder/funnier when some women comment right behind these same men and try to be all tough and act as if a man’s cheating won’t bother them.

  • Dera

    but we should accept the fact that every man does it and it’s not bound to one particular group of men.
    ———————————————————————————–

    Excuse me, but you need to clear this up. You didn’t mean to say EVERY man cheats, now did you? Surely, an intelligent person as yourself doesn’t believe that. You are painting men with a broad, very ugly brush.

  • Dera

    Because a man cheats is he automatically a bad boyfriend, husband, or person? What about all the good things he does for their families besides that?
    ———————————————————————————–
    Tanya, no cheating doesn’t make a man a bad person, boyfriend or husband, just an insecure one.

  • Dera

    Wow, I am a mature woman who subscribed to this blog because I happened about Jozen’s writings and also to better understand what my daughter has been telling me about her generations dating habits. I am amazed at the statistics about black marriages or lack thereof. I am also amazed at some of the things said here by what I assume is my daughter’s age group late 20s, early 30s and the belief systems. Mainly, men are going to cheat. It doesn’t make him a bad person provided, he is a good husband (what an oxymoron), good father, and a good provider; takes care of business. Sooo, are we talking about the one-time, seriously made a bad judgment call cheater or the serial cheater, the man who cheats as a matter of habit? Oh, but he is a good man. BS and you all know it. Any woman or I will not be sexist, or any man who puts up with someone who continually disrespects them has some serious issues: namely low self-esteem and self-image, is needy and is filled with self-hate. That person doesn’t love you and the sooner you realize it, the better you can get on with your life. The reason there are so many black women without partners is because they refuse to settle. I can do bad all by myself.

  • me-me

    off subject:

    dera— i always thought that the reason so many black women are single is because they want to date Black Jesus— in the flesh. I hear so many BBW’s-bitter black women—talking about how there are no good men anywhere in sight. They cling to their church groups and pimpish pastors and WAIT on perfection to walk through the door, all the wild growing more and more angry and thinking “where is he?”But even Jesus wept–showing that he can be filled with emotions/compassion/pain.

    Instead BBW’s say things like.. i just need to be alone and be by myself. Who told them this? By the time they realized they’ve kept themselves in a dateless prison, they are over 35, no kids, no man in sight and still wondering why. Forget doing bad by oursevles… We can do good by ourselves too. i’ve seen lonley ass women get a man and because they’re so rotten and have become ball breakers they chase him away. no man wants that. don’t be deceived by these maybeline faces telling sob stories about not being able to find a man or can’t go on a date. they’re the issue.

  • http://www.derarwilliams.blogspot.com Dera

    Me-me, this is yet another stereotype. Do we know women like this. Yes, but when I said a some women don’t want to settle, what I meant is they will not accept a cheating partner. But, what does that say about a woman who will accept it, has been taught to accept it, expect it? That says alot about that woman’s self-worthy. I’m not worthy of having a man devoted to me. The truth is, a woman can be perfect or near as perfect, a good lover, cook, keep a house, intelligent, beautiful and if it is in him to cheat, he will do it. But there are men who value their women and themselves and do not partake. And that’s all I am going to say on the subject.

  • Tee

    I’m a black woman from a different culture…and it amazes me how worked up Americans (especially American women) become when the issue of cheating is brought up. I don’t support cheating of any kind (it shows a lack of character) but to say “I’ll wait until I find a man who won’t cheat” is a sentiment I believe is buried in pure, undiluted fantasy. Men cheat. Women cheat. Bottom line.(Shaq & Gilbert Arenas’ Girl..need I say more?) The best we can each do is find someone we know respects us enough to avoid it and if it happens (or rather, if he is caught lol)…does not justify it..is prepared to repair the broken trust and pay the necessary penance and most importantly, does not make cheating again a mission or even worse, a habit. We’re humans…will we all hurt each other at some point? Of course–this is a guarantee. The ways we do so may differ, but it’s all the same at the end of the day.

    Again, I’m not supporting cheating, but I do believe that culturally, the idea of marriage has been clouded by the western world’s “Disney Ideology”…and the promise of happily ever after. Marriage was never meant to be rooted in romantic ideals…it was an institution built mainly on economics…be it to help farm the land, preserve blood lines, or to support women who had minimal educational or financial achievements. Marriage is hard work. It’s sweat, blood and sorrow. It’s also full of wins and awesome moments wrapped in great joys. Find the person that respects you, is God fearing and you think will be a great teammate and go for it. Deal with the challenges as they arise and don’t give up so easily just because you didn’t get to play your Cinderella role till the very end. Recognize that there is a difference between a man who had a moment of weakness and is working to regain your trust and avoids making the same mistake again (perhaps, a Kobe?…as far as we know at least..i’m giving a him a huge benefit of the doubt here) and a man who has a weak character, does not respect you or feel you deserve his fidelity ( *Again, side eye at Shaq * ).

  • http://naturibeauty.com/blog Naturi Beauty/Shelley Chapman

    It is human to be attracted to people. It is human to be loved and desire to love. It is human to desire to have feminine and/or masculine attention (depending on your need). It is unevolved to enter into a monogamous relationship and cheat on your partner. If you desire an open love then find that partner that is willing to have an open relationship. There are too many people who are selfishly dishing out their “goods” without the significant other knowing. You may be thinking “who in the heck is gonna agree to that?”. Trust me, this world is abundant, and that person is out there who is willing to have such a relationship. If you are one of the many who think that you can handle “you” doing it but not your partner, well then you need to look within and figure out why your appetite is so insatiable and one just isn’t enough. Once you trust yourself completely, you can trust your partner cause they are your reflection. So if you desire it…go on…open up. If not, then Be Evolved and respect your monogamy or polyamory.

  • *inquiring mind*

    We focus on the act too much as women… The more important part as I see it is why it happened in the first place. My experience has led me to believe there is ALWAYS a breakdown elsewhere in the relationship and rarely has anything to do with the physical…the issue couldn’t possibly be as simple as just a “man thing”. There are men that haven’t cheated in relationships… maybe they’d rather walk away than step-out. It’d be nice to know what Jozen’s thoughts were in the first place when he cheated.

  • Malia

    >>.My experience has led me to believe there is ALWAYS a breakdown elsewhere in the relationship and rarely has anything to do with the physical<<

    Lame excuse that society allows men to use as a reason for their cheating. There are dozens of ways to handle a breakdown in the relationship. Cheating is not a result of a breakdown in a relationship, it is a result of poor character on behalf of the cheater.

    Because cheating isn't just having sex. If you're in a long term relationship or marriage, cheating is about lying, deceiving, betraying, in nearly all cases diverting resources of time and money. Time when he should have been with wife/family, money he used to take the other woman out, or pay for the hotel room, etc. It's about emotionally abandoning the spouse while you seek comfort in another person (few men have it in them to provide for two women emotionally). It's about risk not only of STI's but of children outside the relationship or marriage.

    And if you have children, it's about making a devastating decision to change their lives to indulge in your own pleasure.

    It's not a little thing. Anyone who grew up in a family shattered by infidelity can attest to this. Even in families where the parents stay together, cheating forever changes things, often changes the children's outlook on relationships and marriage, especially harmful for girls when that behavior is normalized by the father they look up to.

    If we, as women, upped our standards for men, we would have less of this. But the more and more we excuse it, the worse our families and communities get.

    If Tiger cheated on his wife, shame on him. I won't excuse it because of status. You can find a lot of people with status who engage in a lot of stupid nonsense, doesn't make it OK. Just imagine being the wife that unravels the lies, the children that have this permanently recorded in the media, the instability it brings to a relationship.

    All for a warm hole and some ego stroking affection.

  • AFRO

    it’s not the physical act of cheating thats the problem. it’s the fact that someone betrayed your trust…staight bullshit.
    i am starting to wonder can men be faithful…i’m leaning toward HELL NO!

  • BoomShots

    Tee, I could not have said it better myself. If you are not perfect how do you expect perfection from anyone else. There are a myriad of reasons why a man might violate his wedding vows but if every wife reacted in the way that most of the women here advocate, I know our divorce rate would be closer to 75 percent of all marriages. Fidelity is not the cornerstone of relationships!!

    Infidelity is a symptom of what is wrong in a relationship nott the cause. You all have to quit this woman as victim, men as perpetrator crap and grow the F up. Men love sex, if they can get sex from as many different women as possible without consequence, most of the time they will. Sex for men do not equate love or even like…once you wrap your head around that reality maybe you will understand what is goes on in men’s minds.

    The majority of men I know don’t go out looking to cheat on their SO/wives. If you choose to get with a womanizer or a serial cheater, your bad…do not be surprised if he cheats on you. Men like that don’t respect any woman and he very likely won’t be respecting you.

  • *inquiring mind*

    Boom you betta preach it! *waving hand in air* LOL

  • Dililah

    Take em to Church Malia!!!

  • Seth

    The more you try to change the situation the more it stays the same, the best thing one can do is to cultivate acceptance for human’s inherent flaws. I cringe at the other “social injustices” you perceive on a day to day basis. The latest statistics show women no far behind men in infidelity. Maybe men should up our standards too! (slight sarcasm) All of this conjecture ignores the fact that this is not a societal problem but a issue that has to be worked out between the two people involved. Any further conjecture is just self-righteousness speaking out, and baby let me share some truth. The world owes you nothing, and does not have to apologize for the way it is or change for opinionated matters. Infidelity cannot be crushed by taking a hardlined approach it can only be tamed through understanding and patience.

  • *inquiring mind*

    Hmmm- well since I’m being quoted, let me add this… No one on here (except Jozen-smh) is condoning cheating! NO ONE! Maybe if you weren’t so focused on the fact that someone cheated (or faltered in life: for you stone throwers out there) then maybe you would see that everything isN’T black and white and everyone that believes cheating is the expression of a deeper problem not THE PROBLEM, isn’t saying it’s right! Maybe your Dad cheated or your man did… I’m sorry that happened to you, I’m sure it hurts a lot, but regardless there was an issue present within that individual or that relationship that caused that individual to act out- right or wrong…All I’m saying is let’s figure out the cause so we/I can correct it either for this relationship or the next…

    “Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.”- Martin Luther King, Jr

    *Shout out* to Seth… well said my dude!
    And another THANG!- I’m not even speaking on Tiger, cuz frankly I wasn’t there and it isn’t any of my business… much like it isn’t any of yours!

  • http://www.chuckcity.vox.com Chuck

    Dude and to all the women. The idea or acceptance of all men cheat and/or all men will cheat is stupid and doesnt make any sense to generalize on this type of issue. Yes, a lot of men have done it, but on the other hand you have a lot of men who havent cheated. This statement cannot be validated or even corroborated and certainly be accepted by men, women, or anybody. As a man, im just saying.

  • Leah J

    Hi. I think I love you. That part about Westernized Disney Ideology is SPOT ON.

    My only issue is with the idea of equating “cheating” with having “extra-marital affairs.” Cheating is lying, and that’s always effed up regardless. You’re playing with people’s lives and are taking away their choice. THAT shit is foul no matter how you slice it. So for me, the issue isn’t about sex outside of your marriage, but the lying and endangering your partner’s life. If you want to have an open marriage, then you need to say that, not steal it and expect fidelity while you run off being an asshole.

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  • http://steamywindows.wordpress.com Jamila J

    Tiger Woods is a human before anything. We as humans sometimes give into temptations. I guarantee that the majority of famous men have cheated so this right here should not be that big of a deal, but I guess when a brother (screw that cablasian stuff) cheats on a White girl it’s a big deal (ex. Kobe) Shaq cheated on his wife, but you’re not hearing about that are you?

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  • Christine

    I think people (all races and genders)need to re-evaluate marriage. I’m beginning to believe that marriage is overrated and outdated.

  • Danielle S.

    I think that its utterly despicable that men do not have the self-control or even care enough to not cheat on their wives and girlfriends. These are the women that have your babies and stand by you when you’re at your worse and some men don’t even respect that enough to not cheat. I’ve found that men are more loyal to their boys than they are to their woman. It’s just so sad as a woman to hear men say ‘all men cheat’ because if that’s the case then what’s the point of it all? If so relationships are just a perpetual cycle where we continue to get hurt. BUT I know that all men don’t cheat. Most do, few don’t.

  • sistah1

    I have accepted the fact that most — if not all — men cheat, but I think that has probably hurt my past relationships. Guys can tell if you have low expectations of them, and most won’t bother trying to prove you’re wrong. Anyway, I’m trying to work on my lack of faith in fidelity.

    http://singleindependentsistah.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/is-cheating-just-par-for-the-course/

  • Agogog

    I stumbled upon this blog earlier this evening and enjoyed reading through most of it, until I read this post. For real?? Are you REALLY saying that ALL men cheat?
    For a seemingly switched on young man, to hold an opinion that is so black and white shows very little intellectual analysis.. But most of all, I feel sorry for anyone that leads their life believing that commitment and loyalty is something that they can never have in their relationship. It basically dooms any relationship before it even starts.
    I’m out, I wont be reading this blog again.