Shaky Relationship Advice Part 1
I don’t really do relationship advice because well, honestly, what do I know about maintaining a healthy relationship with any woman? My blog is about being a bachelor, not being a boyfriend.
But, in spite of all my mess-ups in past relationships, no matter how they ended, there has always been a take-away of sorts. We may not have worked, but there were parts of us, small moments, that did. From those moments, I have learned the importance of details, something people often forget the longer they stay together. So whenever a friend of mine who is in a relationship comes to me for advice because their relationship is trending downward, I look back on my own history, and think about what worked for me.
Today, I begin my first installment of Shaky Relationship Advice. I say “shaky” because I don’t really know if it’s going to work or not, but I do believe it’s worth a shot. Just remember I’m no expert, I’m just experienced. Let’s begin the session.
EMBRACE THE POWER OF TELEVISION
In any relationship, people have arguments — disagreements, over an extend period of time. Your partner doesn’t want to let go of what you did or said and he or she is beefing the minute you walk through the door. Next thing you know, you’re throwing up your arms talking about, “I’m out of here!”
You go back to your place plop down on the couch, take off your shoes, and turn on the TV. On your cable box, you see it’s 8:00 p.m., one more hour before you and your partner’s favorite show, “Modern Family” is about to come on ABC. It’s a comedy you two have watched since the first episode, and it’s only a half hour, but it’s a funny half hour. Every week after you two watch it, you’re quoting lines from the latest episode, and laughing about certain scenes together.
Now, for the first time since the show began, you two are about to watch the show alone and for what? Why? What was so big of a deal that you two can’t watch your favorite show together? I’m pretty sure whatever it was, it wasn’t so severe that you have to break this weekly tradition of watching “Modern Family”. So you call up your partner and say, “Hey, look. Why are we fighting?” Your partner is sure to launch into another tirade about why you two are beefing. My advice is let them talk, or yell, until their blue in the face. When your partner winds down, and turns it back to you for a response, say this:
“Okay, I understand. It sounds serious, and you’re right we should talk about it. How about I come back over, bring some take out from our favorite spot, eat, watch our show together, then discuss.”
I don’t know one person who wouldn’t agree with this plan. In my previous relationships, no matter how severe the argument, a good television show usually was the best mediator. Not only did it put an argument on ice for the amount of time it was on, but it also calmed waters to the point where once the show was finished, and we picked up the argument where we left off, cooler heads prevailed and it wasn’t so much an argument anymore as much as it was a conversation. If the argument is forgotten by the time the show ends, than it was never too serious to begin with.
To take it one step further, try and be open to watching a show your partner enjoys more than you. This is about compromise. If you’re a man who has a woman who loves a show like “Gossip Girl”, well, get into it, man. But don’t let her run the DVR, you have to put your foot down and say, “Hey, if I have to watch “Gossip Girl”, you have to watch “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.” Any woman worth her salt will agree to those terms.
I understand suggesting good television shows will help dead arguments or couples get a long better is a lot like saying feed a whale two Tylenol if they have a headache. It’s a very basic approach, but when you think about it, the longer we’re with people, the more often we forget about that very thing: The basics.
Turn on the TV. Let me know how it goes.