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And I Quote…

December 23rd, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Quoting oneself is one of the most egotistical, self-involved acts we can indulge ourselves in and since I am egotistical and self-involved, I quote myself often. But as someone who writes not for myself but for an audience of any size, there is nothing more flattering than when someone quotes me because I myself am a fan of the good quote. To me,  it’s like the next great song: I haven’t heard it yet, but I’m always in search of it.

Those who know me know like to say I write the way I talk, and I find that to be a good thing, because even when I’m talking, I’m writing.  If I say something I like, I write it down and put it away so maybe I can use it for later. Sometimes, a simple phrase I have in my head is nothing more than that, but sometimes, it’s the first step towards another 800 or so words. Even the title of this blog came out of a casual conversation I was having with a friend of mine when we were talking about some crazy night we had in New York. “Man, I’m telling you, until I get married, I’m rolling just like that.”

Today, I’m lacking the energy to come up with a single focused rant on a specific topic, so I have decided instead to write a bunch of quotes about things related to love, relationships, dating, and sex. Think Esquire magazine’s, “What I’ve Learned”.

All of these are things I have said in casual conversations with friends on Twitter, or maybe even in a past blog entry. I encourage everyone to quote them aloud to friends and family,  share them in status messages on a platform of your choosing, or put them on Twitter. I have no idea if they’re worthy of such treatment, but if they are, you’re welcome.

And please, feel free to share any words of wisdom you have either come up with yourself or heard from others. Just please, make it original, none of that “I love you is never having to say you’re sorry” type of stuff.

RE: SEX ON THE FIRST DATE

All women have that no-sex-on-the-first-date rule, and all women want a reason to break it.

RE: BUYING DRINKS FOR A WOMAN

I don’t buy a drink until 2:00, because usually by that time, all they really need is a bottle of water.

If she’s empty-handed, don’t do it.

RE: BEING FRIENDS WITH AN EX

You weren’t friends in the first place, so why bother? You can’t bring a two-seater sports car back to the lot and ask for an SUV.

The key to being cool with an ex is dating someone who was cool in the first place.

RE: THE RIGHT TIME TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE

If you ever thought it was too soon, then it wasn’t that good.

RE: BIRTHDAY SEX AS A GIFT

There’s nothing special about birthday sex. That’s like wrapping my television, talking about SURPRISE!

Bring another woman into the mix. That’s a gift.

RE: NEVER TALKING AGAIN

Time will take care of that, trust me.

RE: LIVING WITH A WOMAN OR A MAN

The relationship goes into dog years. After just one year of living with that person, you will feel like you’ve been with them for seven years.

You see them go to the bathroom, and you have to act like that’s perfectly okay, like it’s natural, because it is. But then later on, when she wants to get busy, you have to act like you never saw it.

RE: THE RIGHT TIME TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE

When you’re mad at the person, that’s not a good enough reason. It’s when you’re mad at yourself for dealing with the person that it’s time to move on.

RE: MARRIED MEN

We are not alike, and if we are, that’s a problem.

RE: THE TREATMENT OF WOMEN

Why treat her as though they were my mom or my sister when she wouldn’t treat me like her father or brother? I haven’t always been the perfect son or the perfect brother, but no matter what I’ve done, my mom and my sister never wanted to disown me. But when I haven’t been the perfect boyfriend, those girls bounce.

You can treat a woman right and still do the wrong thing, and sometimes, that’s all it takes.

RE: CRYING OVER A WOMAN

I’ve seen men cry and I’ve seen men cry over a woman, and the difference is like the difference between practice and a real game.

RE: DATING ME

It’s a lot of fun, a lot of work.

I will never beat you, I can promise you that. But the whole breaking-your-heart-thing, that might happen.

RE: LYING

I have always regretted it, even when I never got caught because I always wonder what would happen if  I just would’ve told the truth.

There is no lying. There’s just two truths to every story, one of which is made up.

RE: THE TRUTH

There’s consequences to that too, and they’re almost always easier to deal with than the ones we suffer because of lying.

When I have told the truth, I never question the outcome because everything that happened is exactly what was supposed to happen.

RE: BEING SINGLE

Trust me, I’m doing every woman a favor right now.

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  • MsSunshine

    This was an awesome post!!!!
    Don’t really have one’s of my own to share but I really enjoyed reading it.
    The one about the “The Right Time To Break Up With Someone” was REALLY on point!
    Already shared it with two of my buddies!! :0)

    In case I don’t get to read your awesome writings during the weekend, I wish you a very Happy Holiday!!!
    I hope that your time with family and friends is enjoyed immensely!

    P.S. Hope you have fun at your New Years Eve Wedding! You never know what surprises might be waiting for you! Keep your heart open and enjoy the moment and whatever it brings!!!!

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!!!

  • http://brwnbutterfly1980.wordpress.com brwnbutterfly1980

    “There is no lying. There’s just two truths to every story, one of which is made up.”

    Loving it!!!!

  • Pingback: And I Quote… « Until I Get Married - Dating Tips and Tricks()

  • marie

    just because a coin is shiny…it doesnt make it worth more. This also applies to men.

  • Charron

    One of my most favorite quotes – I, with a deeper instinct, chose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. -Anais Nin

  • Charron

    I, with a deeper instinct, chose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. -Anais Nin

  • Leah J

    That quote is AWESOME! It’s going on my list.

    I also quote myself often and write things that I’ve said or friends have said. Everything’s an idea for a song. Right now, I have the quote “I throw sex vibes around like ninja stars” on my dry erase board. It is the topic of much discussion when folks come to visit.

  • Dililah

    Some I try to live by:

    ON GRUDGES

    “If you are still holding grudges at 30 then you have single handedly marginalized your own self worth.”

    ON HONESTY

    “Better to know a door is closing on you then to show up and find it locked and bolted.”

    ON MOTIVATION

    “Chance always favors the prepared.”

    “Get on that Nike-ish and Just Do It!”

    ON BEING TOO SENSITIVE

    “Stop being a f$&@ing flower!”

    ON HATERS

    “I feel ya. I’d hate to if I weren’t me.”

    “I’m the thick one your peoples warned you about.”

  • Dililah

    “If you are still holding grudges at 30 then you have single handedly marginalized your own self worth.”

  • Dililah

    Meant to say 30 plus. Sometimes I hate the iPhone

  • Ali

    Men look for sex and find love.
    Women look for love and find sex.
    – Evan Marc Katz from http://www.advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/how-to-guarantee-a-guy-calls-you-after-sex/

  • Bmo

    I tell my female friends this when ever the question their relationship’s beginnings with a new man. Especially after the first month and a few dates with out sex. “If you wanna question the validity of your ‘man’, text him tonight and tell him you want sex. If he texts you back with sex friendly banter but it doesn’t happen till the next day. He got something else going on in his life but he does want you. If he texts you back asking ‘what are you talking about?’, he might be gay. If he texts back quickly and shows up asap, he’s just there to get some ass. Because a dog is always sniffin for ass, move one!”

  • LumbarPuncture

    Awwww Jozen….this is a favorite!

  • *inquiring mind*

    niccccce

  • Sunny

    This post was completely entertaining. I just stumbled across your blog from SBM in NOVA and I love it!

  • http://blueidgirl.wordpress.com blueidgirl

    Not quite as reverent as some of yours but applicable and my favorite at the moment
    “I realize that you have, at some point been compared to one, but you are not a dog and I am not your chew toy. Do not dry hump me.”