Shaky Relationship Advice Part 3
New year, new outlook, new people.
Here we are folks, the first Monday of 2010, and for many who spent the weekend recovering from that party back in 2009, today is officially the first day of the year. We have said good bye to what has to be one of the most unanimously worst years on record, a year so bad most of us have collectively decided the best part about it was making it out alive. And we are now saying hello to a new year, the first year of a new decade, and everyone is ready to do something different, something new.
Good luck with all of that.
But before we dip into something new, before we get all experimental with ours, some more of my shaky relationship advice to start the new year right. Remember,no expert, just experienced.
DON’T BROADEN YOUR DATING HORIZONS
Already I have talked to two friends of mine who are going into the new year with new boyfriends. These new guys are good guys, nice guys, and as they will be quick to remind anyone who asks, different guys. But what I have told them is the same thing I am about to tell everyone else who is looking to broaden their dating horizons. Be careful and more importantly, be honest, to yourself.
There is a reason we have types, criteria, and just because we have had no luck finding someone who looks good on paper while treating us right at the same time, doesn’t mean we should start sacrificing some criteria to meet the bottom line. This idea of dating someone out of the box, or left of center, from the type of person we normally go for just because there’s a strong likelihood we will get the type of relationship we want is pretty dangerous because if every relationship calls for sacrifice, dating someone who is not our type is an even bigger sacrifice. To me, dating someone we’re only lukewarm about in the beginning, and eventually falling for them, just because they’re not a jerk, is like a bad song we hear on the radio. Hear it enough, and we’ll fall in love with it, off the strength of habit alone.
The fact of the matter is, once we get into a relationship with someone, we are almost always going to discover things about the person we don’t like. But these things we don’t like about the person we’re dating, should be just that, discovered. They shouldn’t be apparent from the very beginning of the relationship because, here’s what’s going to happen. Someone who does satisfy some of our more important requirements is going to come into our lives, and when they do, we’re either going to have to remove ourselves from them or we’re going to have to remove ourselves from the person we’re with, and hurting the person we took a chance on for no reason.
Of course, for those who are the person I am speaking of, the boyfriend or girlfriend who is against type, just know the risks involved. I have a girl who likes me right now and I am nothing like any of the other guys she dated, so I’m very cautious of it all, because if there is one thing in life I believe in, it’s this:
There is someone who is right for each and every one of us.
And at any given moment, this person can come into our lives.
So what I suggest everyone do this year is learn to be more patient when it comes to finding the right person. Instead of broadening the horizons, hone in and focus on what is that you really want and need. This might not be the year the right person comes into our lives, but it can be the year we make room for them to do so.