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On Celebrity Crushes

January 12th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I have a crush on a woman, who to my knowledge, has only been in one movie. Her name, Tracey Heggins. The movie, Medicine For Melancholy. I saw it last year, three times, not because of Heggins, but because I actually did enjoy the movie. So much so, I encourage anyone who hasn’t seen it to order it on Netflix. It was an independent film and a  few months ago, was released on DVD.

But enough about the movie, back to Heggins. Seriously. Someone please, put me in touch with this girl before she blows up and becomes the next big movie star. I need to meet her now and ask her out for soup before she goes the way of so many other women I’ve crushed on – the way of the red carpet.

I can honestly say, before Heggins, the last time I had a crush on a woman whose acquaintance was solely through the power of television or film, was in high school, and I think a lot of men understand where I am coming from.  At a certain age, men outgrow the idea of a celebrity crush. Sure we can acknowledge how fine Beyoncé is, and of course we have a long running list of things we would do to Blake Lively if given the chance, but most men don’t deal with fantasy. Most men, at some point, begin to put their reality caps on, and prefer to crush on women who they can actually meet in person under normal circumstances.

Think about it. When’s the last time any of us saw a grown man have some Beyoncé art as their phone background or desktop wall paper? Exactly.

Men literally outgrow the women they have crushes on, for two reasons: (1) When men are boys, they actually have crushes on grown women. If a man grew up watching The Cosby Show, he didn’t have a crush on Keisha Knight-Pulliam (Rudy Huxtable) even though she was the only character age-appropriate to date. Every man I know had a crush on Lisa Bonet (Denise Huxtable), a woman who was dating Lenny Kravitz at the time. Still, we wanted her. Not Rudy. No man wanted Rudy until years later when we saw her in a Chingy video. As for Lisa Bonet? She’s MILF-status now,  and  for some guys this is a plus, but those same guys have MILF fetishes to begin with. To be blunt, her crush appeal is not nearly as universal as it once was.

The second reason we outgrow our celebrity crushes is because at some point, we realize just how many fine women are out there. Women who are fine in their own way and women who are fine in a Rudy Huxtable or Denise Huxtable sort of way. In other words, men grow to understand if they can’t get the celebrities, they can at least get a woman who looks like one.

In college, I once dated a woman who was a dead ringer for Gabrielle Union. I say this not to brag, nor am I giving her this distinction so much as I am echoing the sentiments I heard from many a passer-by. Just yesterday, when I walked into that Applebee’s I mentioned, I saw two girls who looked like Janet Jackson circa-Janet era and one girl who looked like Ciara in the face and Keyshia Cole in the body. With those options at my immediate disposal, why would I ever bother hanging up posters of any of the aforementioned ladies, when there’s a good chance I could get involved with one of these waitresses and bartenders, take mad pictures of us together, hang them up in my house, and  when guests come over, hear them say, “Oh, damn. She looks just like Janet Jackson circa-Janet era.”

Women, on the other hand, never shake their habit of celebrity crushes. As a matter of fact, the older they get, the more they have, and of all the things women my age do to get on my nerves, this is chief among them.

One of the reasons females who have celebrity crushes grind my gears is because most of these guys they have crushes on are pretty accessible. A perfect example of this is Eddie House. He is hardly a celebrity, and most people reading this blog don’t even know he is, but I know mad women who love them some Eddie House. Yet, they don’t even watch basketball (he plays for the Celtics, and doesn’t even start). When I was discussing this post I write right now to a woman I have a crush on (who favors Paula Patton by the way), and brought up Eddie House’s name, she started to laugh. Why? Because she’s met him before!

An even better example is Tiger Woods. Without a doubt, Tiger Woods was arguably the most famous athlete in the world, and an easy nomination for Top 5 most famous person in the world, period. Who did he marry? A f*cking nanny. Who were his mistresses? I don’t know either, but I know who they weren’t. They weren’t anyone famous. As a matter of fact, those women were so un-famous, that I can honestly say I will never bring my very normal girlfriend around him.

Any woman, no matter her occupation or status, has an opportunity to nab herself some famous man because famous men, unlike famous women, are easily accessible. And we’re not talking about groupies, who actively purusue famous men, we’re talking about normal women, who work normal jobs and get pointed out by famous men. It’s all so innocent, until it’s not.

This is the difficulty of being a normal, everyday guy. Anytime a bunch of un-famous guys go out to the club where some famous guy is partying too, they’re clamoring for the women left on the dance floor who are only there because there’s not enough room in Tiger’s VIP section.

Meanwhile, a man like me can only hope to meet Tracey Heggins in real life, but if not, maybe I’ll meet a girl who looks like her.

And just in case you all forgot who she is already, a reminder. I’m so serious when I say, I want to go to soup with that woman.

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  • SassyNoLA

    Blake Lively? really? that was really random… threw me off…

  • Natasha

    This is so funny my cousin and I just had a debate over this, he thinks its ridiculous that a woman my age purrs when ever a certain celeb pops on the t.v. or radio. I thinks its all fun and games I don’t ever plan to meet him or desire to. Why do we have to be so serious crushes are healthy and a part of life no matter the status of the person. I enjoy your blog always makes me think and often shows me a point of view I would not have seen before. Thanks

  • GVG

    Good looking homie. I’ve been waiting for them to release this movie for a while. I heard amazing things.

  • Danielle D

    I imediately googled Eddie House he is attractive, but I don’t really have any celeb crushes anymore EXCEPT…(DON’T LAUGH!) I LOVE Marques Houston, Yes lead singer of Immature (IMx) and Sister Sister’s Roger, It started when I was 12 and I am now 25 (I’ll be 26 in Feb) I can’t help it…even if he comes out with an album that I know is garbage I listen to it and still know all the words (cause its only half garbage to me and even if he seems irrelevant to society I love this dude I actually still have a small pic of him on a mirror in my room…just cuz…and yeah I met him…even when all the Chris Stokes and molestation stuff came out I was like “old news” (we always thought it) and I still love him…but I guess I am just a different type of person…I stayed a huge fan of Michael Jackson throughout the years of my life (too the point that family and friends were concerned about and was calling to see if I was ok when he died) and if someone said right now: “Hey the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are on,” I would turn the tv on immediately. So maybe its just OCD opposed to a Celebrity Crush 🙂

  • Danielle D

    I agree with the “crushes are healthy and a part of life no matter the status of the person” that is also a nice way to think of it….

  • me-me

    this does not apply to men with money– men with money never give up on crushes because nothing is off limits.

    realistically, at a certain income level, nothing and no one is untouchable…

    “Just yesterday, when I walked into that Applebee’s I mentioned, I saw two girls who looked like Janet Jackson circa-Janet era and one girl who looked like Ciara in the face and Keyshia Cole in the body. With those options at my immediate disposal, why would I ever bother hanging up posters of any of the aforementioned ladies, when there’s a good chance I could get involved with one of these waitresses and bartenders, take mad pictures of us together, hang them up in my house, and when guests come over, hear them say, “Oh, damn. She looks just like Janet Jackson circa-Janet era.”


    to this i add, show me a beautiful woman, and i will show you a man that’s tired of F-in her……….. everything gets old and tired.. the only thing that pays to have that’s old is money and wine.

  • E-Dub

    I live in LA, and I see Tracy Heggins at auditions all the time. Just to heighten your crush, she’s an absolute sweetheart. She never engages in that actress-y “psyche out” stuff some people do at auditions, and seems to be in a perpetual good mood. At the last audition where I saw her I told everyone in the lobby about “Medicine for Melancholy”and went on and on about her performance and the quiet beauty of the film. She was genuinely appreciative, if not a little embarrassed. On a personal note we were auditioning for a play about Africa and I found out she’s Eritrean, and I think she did mention a boyfriend. Good luck!

  • *inquiring mind*

    me too!

  • Sunni B

    My ex-boyfriend would get upset with me all of the time for my celebrity crushes. I worked in the entertainment industry, so he said, “it’s not a crush if you have access to them.” Well, I sure wish for access to Adam Rodriguez so I can make this feeling more than a crush! 🙂

  • Christine

    I had (I lie-still have) a serious crush on Djimon Hounsou…I was upset when he hooked up with Kimora….still am…love that man!

  • *inquiring mind*

    *singing* hey lova hey lova, dis is more than a crush… lol

  • JLove

    Glad I’m not the only one thinking the same thing.

  • Kady

    I feel you Christine, the funny thing about female crushes is they NEVER die, not even after marriage, babies, ect. I have a friend who has been inlove with Kobe Bryant since like 98, even after the scandal and I love me some Iverson, he was my laptop background all through college.

  • Brandon St. Randy

    Yeah, she had a certain something in that movie. That kind of artsy, tea-drinking, could suck a dick for days and then school you to some new music your mind can’t even fathom kinda vibe. I can dig it.

  • Nappy Spirit

    The last celebrity crush I had was Jermaine Jackson when he was a part of the Jackson Five. Yes there are celebrities that I find attractive but crushes naw. I guess it’s the fact that perfer to BE the crush now that’s very very nice…. I will definitely check out the movie thanks for the tip.

  • Linz

    Wasn’t expecting that one!

  • Rena

    Celeb crushes for women are all about fun. It’s fun to think about what life would be like were that celeb to come and whisk you away. It dawned on me that it might be like the equivalent of porn for a man. We know it’s not real and we’re not going to hit that, but it’s still fun to think about and imagine. 🙂 On that note, I kinda do love me some Kanye. Ok I do, let me stop lying.

  • Tunde

    i think that women celebrities would actually go for more regular guys than you think. the issue is accessibility. for instance lets say i wanted to get at keri hilson. i think i would stand a good chance but how would i go about meeting her without looking like a stalker or crazy.

  • Michelle

    On a completely unrelated note: I’m ready for that post on Facebook turn-offs… 😉

  • Jackie

    I Googled Eddie House and although he is attractive he is very normal looking…nothing to write home about, lol…I dont know where Jozen finds all these fine ass women but in my experience its harder to come across a good piece of eye candy on a regular basis…Seems like guys that are celebrities are the creme of the crop as far as looks goes…So us women have to crush over celebrity men.

  • Jamila J

    This is funny, but so true! I don’t really do the celebrity crushes anymore (Trey Songz is my exception), but famous females do seem to stick with the famous males while famous males don’t care what profession their woman does. I kind of think that’s because a woman wants to be with a man that’s at least on her level or above while some men prefer a woman in a weaker position. I honestly think that if Tiger was married to someone like Halle Berry his cheating ways wouldn’t have stayed hidden nearly as long.

  • Nicki

    The reason for this phenomenon simply comes down to the fundamental difference in innate values… When women get famous they have greater access to “quality,” and when men get famous they have greater access to “quantity.” That’s why it’s easier for women to meet/hook up with their celebrity crushes than men.

    BTW – don’t forget Steve McNair…

  • Mojo

    Here’s an amazing ode to Tracey Heggins and Medicine for Melancholy…Get Togetha’s an overall dope site…

  • kitty

    She is an amazing woman…she is my bestfriend…I have know her since the 7th grade and I always knew she would make it big one day…I am so proud of her..:0)