Comments on: So What Do You All Want To Talk About?

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:34:27 +0000

Ultimatums are not a good negotiating tool. It is best to express what you want and ask them if they are feeling that you will be able to get it from them. If what you have now is worth losing all together, then give it and hope for the best. The risk of loss may not be worth it.

By: Whitney

Whitney — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:44:36 +0000

I am wondering should you give someone an Ultimatum when you are not ready to walk away but you want more, but know if you present it to the person there is a chance he may walk away. I know we can’t make people stay, but to me ultimatums are a way to force people to get what you want but it may not be what they want and the person giving it ends up un-happy in the end.

Scenerio – I have loved someone since college, we ran into each almost 2yrs ago, he and I have been hanging since then. Being that we were both young back then and both have had different life experiences since then we are taking it slow, and getting to know one another again. Should I continue to express my need/want for more and go w/the flow or give the ultimatum? BTW, he is my 1st and the sex is great!

By: Leah

Leah — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:57:59 +0000

Let’s talk about “Mind over Matter.” Refer to your Formspring lol =x

By: Leah

Leah — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:55:43 +0000

This sounds like the movie, “Why Did I Get Married?”

By: Kristin

Kristin — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:23:45 +0000

Even if this guy hadn’t been your ex, things would have gotten messy after he and your friend broke up. If he had just been some guy that she was dating and your husband liked him, they became friends, and still wanted to hang out. It’s wierd, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s part of being an adult, right? I do, however agree that you should never date a friend’s ex, ever.

By: pvirtue

pvirtue — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:47:43 +0000

Simple don’t cheat with anyone who doesn’t have anything to lose and she didn’t. Plus I agree with the whole crazies thing, they seem to be the most comfortable playing the side woman role.

By: Kady

Kady — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:07:31 +0000

I would say to men who have side chicks/mistresses and think its all sweet, try to look at it this way: The longer you’ve been with a side chick, the more likely it is that she is a highly unstable individual. It takes a little bit of crazy to say “uummm he has a girlfriend or wife but I don’t don’t care”, that crazy will multiple the longer you are with her. No one likes being 2nd best, no matter what she says, even if she claims to understand your reasoning for being with you main woman, she doesn’t, she is just waiting for you to change your mind, and eventually when you don’t, that little volcano of crazy will erupt on your ass.

By: zora Hahn

zora Hahn — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 18:51:14 +0000

Ok…so I’ve brought this up before, but recently heard it being discussed on TV, so why not talk about it now, right? So…..I’ve got this friend. I’m 26 and she and I have been tight since we were 12. Back in the day, I used to date this guy and he broke my heart, cheated and all that. But long story short, said friend was my shoulder to cry on and then turned around years later and get’s engaged to said ex. After he and I split up, he tried to get back in, but I wasn’t having it because there was obviously a lack of trust. Even after I met the man that eventually became my husband he was still trying to let me know how he felt. Wellllll, now because she and I are close, naturally my husband and I have hung out with them as a couple which resulted in a friendship between my husband and siad ex. Now that the engagement is off and they don’t speak anymore, my husband and said ex are still aces. So…..to me, this is why an ex should stay as such. I broke up with him for a reason which – in my opinion – should mean that all my family, friends, and acquaintances should’ve broken up with him when I did. So, does anyone else see why I’m a firm believer in the unspoken rule that a friend shouldn’t date a friend’s ex? Things get realllllll messy!

By: Val

Val — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:02:12 +0000

let’s talk about charles phillips and yavaughnie wilkins…curious what people’s thoughts on that situation are….i’ve been surprised to find that my friends’ opinions vary pretty widely

By: zee

zee — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:24:32 +0000

I would love to discuss the 80/ 20 dymamic in relationships. Another blog stated it best ” In love you are never going to find the 100% of what you’re looking for in a mate, mostly about 80%. Of course you’ll see that left over 20% in others and that may sway your attention because that’s the missing portion you’ve been looking for. However if you leave your 80% for that other you’ll only be getting 20% and now in need of 80%! ”

my current situation is that i feel a guy i used to date is trying to get that 20% from me. He currently has a girlfriend but we always had a great connection and great conversations. i feel like that is the 20% he is trying to keep getting from me and i dont feel very comfortable with that. ( especially since he wants us to talk as much as we did when we were dating)

What i want to discuss is…is it appropriate to get that 20% from someone else ( whatever the 20% might be)