Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!
I don’t know what you all were expecting for today’s post, if you all thought I was going to go into some long diatribe about Valentine’s Day and if that diatribe was going to be pro-Valentine’s Day or con-Valentine’s Day, but I’m doing neither.
All I’m going to say is this: Enjoy this coming Sunday in whatever way you see fit. Don’t be a cynic. If you don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, call up the people you do have and tell them you appreciate them. And yes, you probably already did it the day before and you might do it every day after, but tell them they’re loved on Valentine’s Day too.
Hallmark Holiday, Schmallmark Holiday, like it or not, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year specifically designed to celebrate love. As far as I’m concerned, with so much hate in the world today, Valentine’s Day is a good thing, whether we’re single or in a relationship or just got out of one.
Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. Feel free to discuss what it does or does not mean to you in the comments. I’ll see you all on Tuesday.
Two things I wrote elsewhere, check them out.
The first is my latest post on The Eldrick Woods Relationship Blog I host over at VIBE.com: “About What John Mayer Said”
The second is something I did for Shauna, a friend and writer whose work and blog I respect greatly. Check out “RE: Replaced Winters” at letsjusteatcheese.com
“I got Alize at my house. I don’t drink Alize, but b*tches do.”– Katt Williams
All men have something at their place to help set the mood with the female company they entertain. Maybe it’s a bottle of Alize, like Katt Williams, or maybe it’s a copy of Clueless. Incense and candles are also common. The whole point of these things is to get a woman to feel comfortable enough to sleep with us.
Women, on the other hand, never seem to have the comforts for men to enjoy.This is not to say I need certain things to get me in the mood. Trust me, the mere sight of the woman is going to be enough. But what a woman does need to provide for me is comfortable distractions.
Every time I want to leave a woman’s house, she wants to know why. Well, it’s not because I don’t like her. It’s because her place is boring as hell or it’s missing certain things I need.
Comfortable distractions can serve one of two purposes. For the women who invite me over for some platonic company, who don’t want to sleep with me, comfortable distractions are a great way to keep me focused on something other than her body. For the women who do invite me over to sleep with them, but would like me to stay for a while afterward, comfortable distractions will help me stay put. They won’t distract me from her, but they will distract me from what’s going on outside of her four walls.
Women, I’m sorry to say, are not enough sometimes. They, like me and my brethren, need to have the comforts too.
So ladies, consider this my Valentine’s Day gift to all of you. Five things you should have in your place to get a man to come over and stay a little while longer. Happy
I can’t recall if it was a man or a woman who said it. Maybe it was both. But I do remember the first time I heard someone say being somebody’s girlfriend doesn’t really matter. And I do remember thinking, Wow, that’s wrong.
I don’t have a girlfriend right now. Haven’t for a while now, and to be honest, sometimes that matters. Sometimes it makes me think of the girls who I could have made my girlfriend, but because I knew I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend, I didn’t ask them. It sounds like a cop out, I know, but trust me it isn’t. I was a professional boyfriend for a long time, but I was so bad at it, I’ve been demoted to professional bachelor until further notice.
Still, my time spent with girlfriends past mattered then and it matters now.
Girlfriends, all of them, matter.
The plan was for Morrie and I to hit the town, but now, as the workday was coming to an end, he was on the fence.
“Remind me again why tonight’s the night,” Morrie asked. “I forgot.”
“Man, if ever there was a night to just go out and holler at women, it’s tonight,” I explained. “Tonight is the premier of Sex and The City the movie. So think about it. We live in the city where the movie takes place. They’re already here. That’s step one. Next step. Have sex in the city. Who are they going to have sex with? Us. That’s who. Now come on!”
Not only did my speech help Morrie hop off the fence and get back on board, he arrived at my apartment sometime around 10:30 with a bottle already open and handed it to me.
“And that my friend, is smaller than the one waiting for us at the table,” he said.
“What table?” I asked.
“The table my buddies have downtown at the rooftop of this hotel.”
Some good news to share today.
My sister called to tell me she’s going to have a baby, and not exactly in those words. What she actually said was, “You’re going to be an uncle.”
For 28 years, I have lived my life being one of the three things: Older brother, son, grandson. I have embraced all of them and wear them proudly, but I would be lying if I said I was ready to be an uncle.
Uncle Jozen sounds so grown to me, more grown than I care to admit. Even though my sister is three years my junior, she along with her boyfriend are more ready than I am to bring a child in the world. Honestly, my idea of helping out with babysitting duties is making phone calls to try and find a babysitter.
But ready or not, this child is coming, and I am going to be its uncle. A few people say to me, “Jozen, you will make a great uncle” but I honestly don’t even know what that means.
Posting will be light, and when I say light, I mean pretty much non-existent. I’m in Little Rock for our best friend’s funeral. It’s going to be a joyous and sad occasion all at once, but we, along with the family of Trey Tims, will pull through this.
Thank you to all for the prayers and condolences. It means the world to me and I share them with my boys, it means the world to them too.
See you all on Monday.
Today’s post on The Eldrick Woods Relationship Blog: “Jay-Z and Beyoncé Still Not Like Us”
Remember the movie, The Brothers? I recall there being some pearl of wisdom being disseminated in the film about how if a man gives a woman the last piece of food on his plate, he loves her or he wants to hit that. I can’t remember which, but I do remember watching it and thinking “That is some bullshit.”
All men and women analyze the beginning stages of a relationship with one another. We pick apart the little things they do or say so we can try and get a sense of how they really feel about us. But the old last-piece-of-food-on-the-plate is one of those tired tropes women are still relying on to this day. The most it means when I give a woman the last piece of food on my plate is I’m not hungry anymore. Nothing more, nothing less.
Thank God for me and my idiosyncratic mind. Allow me to break down the five ways a woman would be able to tell I really like her. All five may not apply to all men, but I’m pretty sure they might agree with one or two.