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On The Gym

For whatever reason, I always seem to date women who go to the gym. Don’t ask me how, don’t ask me why. It’s not like I have a preference for a woman who walks on treadmills. I don’t even have a gym membership, so it’s not like I am there recruiting. This just seems to be a pattern with me, one that doesn’t necessarily appeal to me.

I am not saying I prefer a woman who doesn’t go to the gym. All I’m saying is a woman who goes to the gym doesn’t get extra points for going. It doesn’t turn me on, if anything, it slightly concerns me if only because since I don’t go to the gym, I feel like a woman who does passes judgment on me.

They assume I don’t take pride in my body or I have no desire to stay healthy, when in reality, neither of these things couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t go to the gym. I prefer to work out sporadically from my home. The old prison work out my uncle taught me. And yet, for some women I dated, this eventually became an issue.

Just because my girl goes to the gym does not mean I need to go to the gym with her or workout with her. My idea of working out is really quite simple and always has been. It doesn’t take any fancy contraptions or monthly membership fees. All I need is a clean floor to knock out my push ups and crunches, and my coffee table to do triceps presses. Since I hate running, I also have a jump rope, that I am admittedly horrible at. But all in all, I am perfectly capable of developing nice arms and whatnot from the comfort of my home. I don’t need the gym, and I also don’t need a woman who tries to convince me otherwise.

One girl I used to date, begged me to workout with her. Her reason: A couple who works out together, stays together. So to prove her wrong, I started working out with her. Then I stopped dating her.

There was another girl who always gave me a look whenever she went running and I would stay inside, or she would come home from the gym and see me sitting on the couch watching television. To ignore her death stare I would purposely start working out closer to the time she would get back, just to show her while she was out running or working out, I was doing something too. And yet, she never believed me; always searched for my bottle of sweat she assumed I sprayed on as she was unlocking her door.

Finally, one girl actually convinced me to join the gym with her and it honestly didn’t take much for her to do so. I was already thinking about joining a gym that opened up down the street from me, so I actually was the one to suggest we start working out together. Admittedly,  I was somewhat self-conscious of her going to such a meat market. I thought, There is no way I’m letting some other dude with nice arms spot her. Besides, I kind of felt like taking my prison work  to the next level by incorporating  some actual workout equipment and with the convenient location, I had all the incentive I needed.

On our first day of going to the gym together, it was me, the girl and her good friend. To ease my process into this whole gym culture, the three of us did a gym class, a boot camp like class.

The result?

I went to the bathroom to throw up. What did my girl and her best friend do? Not throw up. Laugh at me. Probably to this day.

After that, I decided to never go to the gym again.

Here’s the lesson in my story.

Some men don’t need to go to the gym and throw up to get nice arms or even to stay healthy. Some men, like myself, can do whatever it takes from home. For any woman out there who goes to the gym and has a man who doesn’t go to the gym, unless he’s out of shape or just not fun to look at anymore, leave him alone. Let him do his own workout.

The snap judgments on the stay at home gym rats or even the men who don’t work out need to cease. I understand some women might find it appealing to be with a man whose pounding out their reps, but if that’s the kind of man you want, that’s the kind of man you should get. They’re out there, at gyms across America. Don’t try to get us stay at home workout fiends to join some gym so we can race each other on a treadmill. That’s not romantic. That’s not even fun.  Not to me. The only part of a workout regimen I want to do together is hitting the showers afterward, and we can do that from the place I work out. At home.

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  • http://facebook.com/yesip621 Yesi Jukebox

    I understand you completely. I would rather work out at home than anywhere else. I don’t understand these people that are so into paying monthly fees at the gym and having to go out of their way to get there and change blah blah blah. I think most people will use the excuse that they won’t feel motivated unless they go to the gym but I think a lot of these gym-goers are just trying to show off their sweaty bodies and get some attention while they work out. (not directed at the ladies of Lucille Roberts, unless they’re lesbian)

  • Sunkissed404

    LMAO at this post. Well… I have to admit. I am a Public Health Nutritionist, so I definitely judge guys who don’t work out. I know it’s shallow, but, when I was younger, I would count guys out if they didn’t have a workout regimen. Okay, okay…So, I do make some provisions. In order for me to date you, you have to absolutely loooooove basketball..You have to want to watch football all the time, and have played the sport…at least until you were a senior in high school.

  • Sunkissed404

    And besides…guys are so quick to wanna do pull ups or push ups…get muscles. I hate when I go to the gym and I see guys who don’t do any cardio…I mean none. But, they hop on the bench press and almost strain their guts out trying to hit 3 sets….And they don’t even stretch!!! Jozen, is that you?? lol Okay…I’ll stop here.

  • http://www.ihatethewayyoueatcereal.wordpress.com Silent Scorpion

    I like going to the gym. It doesn’t take much effort to get there (since its the next building over) and I have a really good discount (batted a few eyelashes to get the hookup.) I will go a few times a week and actually have a rule that I WILL NOT date anyone at my gym. Its like dating in the office, you’re stuck seeing that person on awkward occasions without an escape, I’ll pass.

    I don’t date men who look like they need to get in a few miles with me on the treadmill (I’m shallow) so I don’t pass judgement if you don’t. As long as I think you look good, stay active and you’re healthy, we’re good.

  • Sunkissed404
  • http://rashadiscrazy.blogspot.com Rashad

    i dated a workout snob before, and it was just annoying. she went to the gym, i just played bball. we achieved the same goals differently, but she didnt approve of my methods. i was/am a music snob though, so it all evened out.

  • BoomShots

    I would prefer women who go to the gym or work out at home, just as long as you are active, the sex is infinitely better. I work out on the regular and have for the last 20 years probably. I am not in fantastic shape but I consider myself above average. Having had a serious back injury 15 years ago means I have no choice but to workout. I have no desire to date a woman that attends the same gym as mine or workout regularly together. Had an ex get really pissed at me as her declined her invite to join her gym so we could workout together. Working out is part of my me time actually, I would rather not share it with anyone.

    Added benefit my health insurance actualy pays me to go to the gym, so why the hell not. Plus I am at a neighborhood gym, in my sweat stained t-shirts and so I can go about doing what I need to do w/o the social pressure of having to floss premium workout gear.

    Being in shape keeps you in the game as long as you need to be plus there is nothing like that adrenalin rush to make a crappy day feel better.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    “One girl I used to date, begged me to workout with her. Her reason: A couple who works out together, stays together. So to prove her wrong, I started working out with her. Then I stopped dating her.”

    cold game.

    me personally i’m a gym rat. whether it’s cardio, basketball, lifting, etc. i’m in the gym 5-6 times a week. i enjoy working out. i don’t necessarily have to be with a woman who is in the gym as much as i am. as long as she lives a healthy lifestyle then i’m cool.

  • Sunkissed404

    @Tunde
    Helloooo Tunde..Sounds like my kind of man (How u doin’?) :) lol–> I don’t know about 5-6 times a week tho. Sheesh! But, I met this guy before that, once he found out I was a Nutritionist, layed it on me with tha bad news. He was like… “Aw man, I need to find out a way to lose weight in my thigh area…” (For the record…after he said “thigh area”), I was done… I love fit guys. I erased his number…quick.

  • http://chrisbarclay.com/blog/ Chris Barclay

    I used to recruit at the gym, particularly 24 Hour Fitness. It enabled my X-Ray vision. I like to see through everything, the make up, the hair done, and the real body shape. Once a woman hits that gym, she’s not trying to beat her face, the lycra spandex gives me a good idea of whats what, and though it could be holding it all together, when they flex and what not, the truth sets the body free. I also like how it places a woman out of her guard, I mean it’s total vulnerability because she’s sweaty, hair -ain’t -did, and usually too tired to hold up a front. At 24, you can catch the women who work late nights who hurry up and try to get it in, usually helps me figure out if a man is waiting at home for her to finish that workout. LOL, I’m No stalker, just a method.

  • http://www.moxie-b.blogspot.com moxie_b

    The same should be said about women who do not go to the gym. I personally do not go to the gym, and its not because I’m afraid to mess up my hair, or that I’m not concerned about my health or body. I just simply do not have the time. I choose more sporadic workouts from the comfort of my living room…lol. While I have been considering joining a gym lately I don’t think I will anytime soon, and the ONLY reason I’d actually join a gym is for the machinery and the eye candy ;]

  • Violet

    This from the same man who said, “The spot used to be the gym-NOW-it’s still the gym…Because a fine woman will always care about staying fine and this is still the ONLY place to go to keep it that way.” (From “Where the Fine Women Are” August 19, 2009)

    :-)

    Now that we’ve gotten the hypocrisy out of the way…

    I prefer working out, out because I don’t have the discipline to do it otherwise. I treat gym time like other me time appointments, ie. massages. My gym time is one of the ways I luxuriate. I also enjoy the company at the gym. Seeing others take care of themselves helps me to stay motivated. It’s just better with others, the same way seeing a movie at the cinema trumps watching one at home. Any disappointment I would express about my S.O. not sharing an occasional workout with me would singularly stem from my desire to SHARE my workout, my me time with him.

    *Sidenote* Any man who purposefully breaks up with a woman just to prove that sharing a particular activity will not increase the couple’s intimacy deserves every minus one coming his way. That’s mean, Jozen! :-(

  • Codie Elaine

    DAYUM, that girl just used your words against you! LMAO! Sorry, boo, it’s funny. I am one who is in and out of the gym and not proud of it (because i think it is important to staying healthy for life), so I pass no judgment on you. However, if you decided to go to the gym and you decided to work out with the chick AND you completed the work out and then threw up (rather than throwing up halfway through), that sounds like a pretty good work out! I don’t understand why you quit, except for the pride thing. But maybe I have a warped view of the gym. I would LOVE to work out so hard I throw up. (man I sound crazy, lol). Not every day, I’m just sayin. Anyway, go back to the gym, Jozen.

  • Top5WitnessProtection

    I like it when the girl I am dating stays in shape. I am not big on the gym culture I prefer to play organize sports. But as I get older and my body betrays me, I realize I need to hit the gym to help keep my body healthy while I play in my basketball and football leagues.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    @Sunkissed404 i’m doing great. and *dead* at thigh area. smh

  • T’Mara

    @Tunde
    Lol.. I was dead too…Nothing else he said mattered after he said “thighs”. I couldn’t see that problem under his baggy pants, but all I could think about was “did he have big hips too”? And what dude goes around talkin’ bout their thighs…I am okay hearing a guy talk about his gut that he wants to lose or flabby arms, but thighs??? Not for me. Smh is right.

  • sunkissed404

    @Tunde
    Lol.. I was dead too…Nothing else he said mattered after he said “thighs”. I couldn’t see that problem under his baggy pants, but all I could think about was “did he have big hips too”? And what dude goes around talkin’ bout their thighs…I am okay hearing a guy talk about his gut that he wants to lose or flabby arms, but thighs??? Not for me. Smh is right.

  • DEEP

    Omg! Yes. All of this hits home. I’m a pretty fit girl myself (I attribute this mostly to genetics), but that doesn’t mean I only want guys as fit as me (although, it’s not a bad thing). Sometimes when I meet a guy he’ll start talking about how much he goes to the gym, as if to say ‘You hit the gym. I hit the gym. We’re a match made in heaven!’ I guess guys don’t know what else to do when they see a girl who’s in shape, but I usually end up disappointed, especially if I don’t see the results (i.e. you tell me you’re in the gym 5 days/wk but you’ve got a beer belly. What?) I don’t want a meathead or a narcissist. I just want a regular joe. If I wanted someone who obsesses over their body as much as a woman, I’d DATE a woman.

    And, I agree with Boom Shots and Violet…gym time = me time. Additionally, I agree with Silent Scorpion and SunKissed…dating at the gym is a no-no on all counts.

    Guys, learn to downplay your efforts. Mention that you lead a healthy lifestyle and leave it at that. If it’s your passion, it’ll show.

  • http://www.dashofreality.wordpress.com Dash

    @Tunde
    Yea I agree w Tunde. You od’ed. for no reason.
    I think working out is very personal. I don’t even like working out with a friend. I do my own workouts on my own time. It’s not for everyone, but like you said, if you don’t like to look at them, leave them alone.

  • http://pastthevelvetrope.wordpress.com mimi

    LMAO!! This was cute… especially coming from a man. I really don’t have much to say… I’m a chubby chaser! LMAO not FAT, not BELLY… but I like solid men. And hard muscles isn’t sexy anywhere else but TV. So **shrugs** as long as you don’t look like you drink 40s or something, you’d be fine with me. lol

  • Esqin

    This post is hilarious, and reminds me of this one Martin episode when Gina convinces Martin to go to the gym and he went od… pure comedy. Next time a girl your dating forces you to go to the gym, you should flip it on her like Martin did…lol. just a thought..

  • http://www.guiltymethod.com/ Dave

    DAYUM, that girl just used your words against you! LMAO! Sorry, boo, it’s funny. I am one who is in and out of the gym and not proud of it (because i think it is important to staying healthy for life), so I pass no judgment on you. However, if you decided to go to the gym and you decided to work out with the chick AND you completed the work out and then threw up (rather than throwing up halfway through), that sounds like a pretty good work out! I don’t understand why you quit, except for the pride thing. But maybe I have a warped view of the gym. I would LOVE to work out so hard I throw up. (man I sound crazy, lol). Not every day, I’m just sayin. Anyway, go back to the gym, Jozen.

  • http://www.miniriver.com/ Simon

    @Sunkissed404 i’m doing great. and *dead* at thigh area. smh

  • http://www.rootband.com/ Larry

    @Sunkissed404 i’m doing great. and *dead* at thigh area. smh

  • http://www.unclestrawberry.com/ Jeff

    @Tunde
    Lol.. I was dead too…Nothing else he said mattered after he said “thighs”. I couldn’t see that problem under his baggy pants, but all I could think about was “did he have big hips too”? And what dude goes around talkin’ bout their thighs…I am okay hearing a guy talk about his gut that he wants to lose or flabby arms, but thighs??? Not for me. Smh is right.

  • Lilie

    hahahaa you threw up! HAHAHAHAHAHAA

  • Lilie

    im a bitch, i apologize.

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