I Never Stopped Caring
The rules are the rules.
No talking. No checking in. Maybe a holiday and a birthday, but never a phone call, only a text. There’s no Facebook. No Twitter. No online chatting. No emailing.
Day-to-day business, I don’t need to know. Week in, week out, what are you up to? None of my concern. The rules are the rules. I understand them. I follow them. But the other day, I was thinking, what if something big, good or bad, happens? Am I to know? Won’t you tell me?
Probably not and that’s fine. I understand. The rules. I remember.
But please remember this:
I still hope you’re doing well, and that is what I always assume, that you’re doing okay for yourself and you don’t need me for anything at all. But sometimes I wonder about you. What if you weren’t doing well, and things weren’t working out quite the way you planned, would you call me? Probably not. I know there’s someone new and they’re the one getting the call when you need someone the most.
That’s fine. Let him have that, but hey, just so you know, I care too. Put me down on that list of people who give a damn when your life is changing in the most beautiful or most ugly ways. I want to know. Not because I’m nosy, but because I care.
I never stopped caring about you. I never stopped caring about, you know, your life. We just broke up and decided not to be each other’s other. We stopped working at it, but my heart never stopped working.
What I’m trying to say is…we never talk, but I still care. I need you to know that.
Yeah, I know, I said I missed you. But nobody’s talking about missing anybody today. That’s a fleeting feeling. It comes. It goes. It has nothing to do with what I’m writing today.
Today, I’m talking about caring and how I still do that thing for you. From the moment I started I never stopped. The caring never fled.
I care about you, and not just one you. All of you, who have ever been in my life long enough for me to care in the first place. I still care in this new place, the one that exists without you right by my side. I know we don’t talk anymore. I know we don’t text or email. I know…the rules.
I just needed you to know, all of you to know, I still care. I never stopped. And I sincerely hope, you never did either.