Five Things I Use That Belong To Her
Only the best of men will be able to relate to today’s post. A man gets around enough, he knows what the spontaneous sleepover feels like the next morning. It’s kind of like a hangover: Proof of a great night, with a side of slight inconvenience.
What was supposed to be a quick visit or run to go pick something up, can turn into an adult slumber party. The next morning we come home in the same clothes we wore the night before, to a television that’s still on and a half glass of orange juice. Sometimes we feel ashamed, sometimes we’re proud, all of that really depends on the girl whose place we were at.
But sometimes, the inconvenience of rising early in the morning to get home is passed in favor of other inconveniences. We’d rather stay a while, if she doesn’t mind; especially if she’s cooking breakfast. But in order to do so, sacrifices must be made. We weren’t planning on spending the night, and frankly, she wasn’t planning on having us, but things happen, and so here I am, chilling at her place. But umm, first, five things of hers I might need to use.
HER EX MAN’S OLD T-SHIRT
If anyone thinks I listed this item because I need something to wear, they clearly do not know me very well. The only reason why I need her ex-boyfriend’s t-shirt is because I was taught a long time ago if I make a mess I need to clean it up, so to appease, I will use her ex-boyfriends old t-shirt and clean up any mess or spills I cause. And when I say any mess, I do mean any mess.
Those old Secret Deodorant commercials weren’t lying when they said, “Strong enough for a man.” I have used tons of different deodorants over my lifetime, and the only one that has ever been picked up by someone walking by is Secret. All my men out there who have ever used the deodorant PH balanced for a woman know exactly what I’m talking about. Old Spice’s high endurance test has nothing on Secret. That stuff lasts for two days, at least.
HER SLIPPERS, YES THE FUZZY ONES
I can’t even front and act like this hasn’t happened to me. Call it laziness on my part, but if ever she asks me to take out the trash for her, I may just squeeze my feet in her slippers and shuffle to the garbage chute. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. Is it sometimes more convenient than putting on my socks and lacing up my shoes? Absolutely. Is it embarrassing? Only if the cute girl who lives down the hall or nearby catches me in them.
I’m not talking big ticket items like steaks and chicken. I’m talking about delicious snacks like Thin Mint girl scout cookies and pistachios or cashews. If she doesn’t want me eating her out of house and home, she needs to hide her snacks. I don’t care if she has children and the gummy bears are for her child’s lunch. I will house two bags of them and leave 75 cents on the counter.
HER LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER
Currently, I’m growing out my yearly ‘fro-hawk thing, which means, I’m starting to incorporate some product into my mess. Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In Conditioner and Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner are two of my favorites. And the only reason I know this is because accidents happen and sometimes we wake up in places we didn’t expect.