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Before We Meet Again

Sometimes, we don’t meet in the most convenient way. The initial introduction is a fleeting moment in which we’re left with nothing more than some contact information. In the immediate future, our only option is to keep in touch, so we do.

We email, we text, we Skype. We talk on the phone, check in with each other on AIM or Gchat or Facebook. We do it all, just so we can go beyond the fleeting moment that initially brought us together, because when we meet good people, we want them to stay close. If we can’t have that, we start closing the distance with our minds, thinking of the person as though they aren’t that far, and therein lies the potential for problems.

I’ve fallen for women I have no business falling for. Maybe I met her while she was in town or I was out of town. All it took was some good chemistry  brewing between us, and we decided, why not? Let’s keep in touch and see what happens. Then, everything goes well, we’re getting along famously and the two of us decide to take this one step further and spend a weekend together.

Bad move.

Because things went really, really well. They went better than we both expected. We knew we got along, but not like this. And now look at us. It’s time to say goodbye, and we’re both a mess. Maybe we’re not crying, but this whole saying farewell thing is for the birds it’s so wack. We weren’t prepared to say bye, only hello.

Someone should have warned me against the perils of meeting you again for the very first time. I could have handled the outcome of a risk gone wrong. If things hadn’t turned out like we expected them to, a loss would be something I chalked up to  experience as I kept moving in the other direction. But what to make of a win I can’t cherish?

People are going to think I’m talking about long distance relationships, but it’s deeper than that. This is about long distance connections coming together for a brief couple of days and then going away just as quickly. This is about meeting someone who we feel is right for us as evidenced by their endless stream of text messages we save on our phone, and in the end, being proven right. You see, with long distance relationships, a decision has been made that two people are going to make it work. They’re going to stick together apart, until they can no longer be apart together.

With long distance connections, no such decision has been made. Like I said, we never saw it coming in the first place. We just met each other one night, decided to keep in touch over an extended period of time, and decided to meet each other again, this time in a much fuller context than the previous time. And now look at us. We had some great times all the way up until now, when we have to say goodbye. Before we meet again, let’s make sure we remember how this time felt, so we can never feel this way again.

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  • Theryl

    This post reminds me of Bey’s “Hello”.

  • Avril

    @Theryl, totally get what you’re saying with that song!

    Jozen, this is so sad. Why? WHY do people do this to themselves?

    *wall slide*

  • **inquiring mind**

    RTAvril… @*wall slide* LOL y’all crack me up.

    I don’t think we can choose who we “click” with… it just happens. It seems every time I go out of town I meet someone I just want to keep in my pocket… yes, Jozen it is for the birds… but life is like that right? Either you perch or fly. Maybe we’re all just thinking too much… we should just enjoy ourselves- nothing more or less.

  • http://philothea-jerseygirl.blogspot.com philothea

    I love this post…because I am in a long distance relationship and you described what happened with us to a T. Only after our first meeting, we decided to make that commitment. Saying good-bye is THE worst part of each trip for me (there have been 4 in the past 6 months). I’m a sucker for love, so I would say, “go for it,” make that transition from a connection to a relationship. It’s been worth it for me =)

  • @nycebryce

    Mrs. Price?

  • m

    I’m going through this right now, but I don’t want it to end. I never want it to end. Is that totally wrong?

    I can’t tell, Jozen, if you are saying we shouldn’t enter into these sorts of relationships, or if you’re saying, go for it.

    DETAILS MY FRIEND!

  • Cyt_grl

    Didn’t expect to see a post so early. I guess you started off the day with the craetive juices flowing, lol. I like this post, makes you think is it really worth it? Why start a connection that will just eventually lead to sadness?

  • Netreia

    Man, I know this feeling well! Saying ‘Hello’ is so much easier than saying ‘Good-bye’ or even saying ‘Till we meet again’. But on the positive note, I look forward the ‘Hello’ again and again b/c this feeling definitely outweighs the feeling of ‘Good-bye’ :-)

  • LinZ

    that’s really deep. u found a long distance encountered that has worked?

  • http://www.imperfectenjoyment.com/blog Dewan W. Gibson

    I’ve found that long distance relationships are best when they remain long distance. It allows the chance to create an idealized image of your partner. Once you lose that distance…out with the excitement, in with the daily grind, monotony and work needed to sustain the relationship that just a short time ago seemed closed to perfect.

  • http://pastthevelvetrope.wordpress.com mimi

    The easiest wat to Get It Bad for a person is through situations like this. And it sucks.

  • http://twitter.com/VonniMediaMogul @VonniMediaMogul

    Wow. you really are a good writer. i’m actually surprised because I rarely come across bloggers who can actually write. This may be my new favorite blog. I read like 3 articles in the last 10 minutes lol

  • Queen B

    I have been a fan of your blog and your writing. But this, of all, has got me to post a comment! Haha. I know exactly what you mean, and maybe that is I why I that guy who I’ve had a long distance connection is still on my mind today. It sucks. The worst feeling ever and its seriously hard to let it go.

  • http://alishawritinglife.wordpress.com Alisha

    First, LOL @ **wall slide**. Second, I agree with Dewan. Sometimes meeting again just isn’t the best thing. Keeping the fantasy going always works best. It’s happened to us all. Le sigh.

  • Seduction…

    Im like a year late but I totally agree. Im going through the very same feelings you described right now but I on the other hand want to deal with the daily grind, and monotony to see where it ends up. I’ve finally found someone im totally attracted to physically, emotionally and it feels good!!! Our personalities are so similar. Im making the move to be with this person, Im giving up everything and putting it all in his hands. Im giving him the ability to destroy me but trusting him NOT to!!!