How I Roll With Married Men
I don’t know if it’s apparent to anyone, but I’m not one of those men who dog marriage. I actually am a big fan of it; think it’s a beautiful thing, just not my thing for now. Do I think men who get married are absolutely crazy? Yes, but only in a good way. When a man decides to take those vows, I look at him the same way I look at the man who goes sky diving, in awe.
Having seen a couple of my closest friends take that next step, I have come to realize how beautiful matrimony can be and how hard it can be. It’s nothing easy, and none of my friends who have done it make it look that way. If anything, seeing them act as husbands is always a reminder that I should continue to take my time.
Sure, I’m as much of a man as any married man is, but I’m definitely nothing like them. And they are nothing like me, which is why, whenever I hang out with one of my married friends, we don’t roll like I roll with my friends who are not married.
The last time one of my married friends came out to visit me, I don’t think there was one night we were out past 12 a.m. Him and I kicked it hard, but not at the types of places I usually go to get my holler on. We were less like the crew from the movie Swingers and more like Red and Andy from Shawshank Redemption. We played pick-up basketball, went to a game, got barbecue, and got with some other people for low-stakes poker games. When we weren’t doing activities like these, we were just philosophizing on life, talking about the future, swapping stories and jokes.
To the outside observer, this might all seem like perfectly normal stuff that any man, married or not, would enjoy, and they would be correct. But there’s a different focus going on when I do these types of activities with my married friends, and my unmarried friends. With my unmarried friends, it’s all about the male bonding experience, just as it is with my married friends, but all the while with my unmarried friends, we’re keeping our eyes peeled for the next pretty face. It’s kind of like the difference between fishing for sport and fishing for fun. My married friends and I fish for sport. If we just so happen to catch a fish, we throw it back in the water. Now my unmarried friends and I? We fish for fun. If we catch something, we’re taking it home with us and mounting it.
The reason I do things differently between these two groups is not because I feel like my married friends cannot behave themselves around the opposite sex. I’m just not even curious to see if they can. I know if I go out with my married friends, he would make a great wing man. His status would make me appear as though I am the type of guy who is next in line and eager to follow in his foot steps, thus making me look more appealing to the opposite sex. But using a married man for the benefit of getting more women is like using a cheat code in a video game. It’s fun for the first five minutes and then it’s too easy.
I understand my efforts to keep my married friends may come off as extra and dramatic, but luckily, all my friends who are married never complain about the good time I show them when they come to visit me. They understand what I’m trying to do, that I don’t want to be labeled as an enabler. After all, I know most of my married friends, better than their own wives know them. My boy, their husband, back in the day, used to be an animal. When we used to go out, the night would include the kinds of things that keep men unmarried for years and years. But now, as much as he is my friend, he is a woman’s husband, and like any good friend would do for anything else in life, I’m going to help him be the best at that.