Until I Get Married

Some may have noticed that on the right margin of this blog, I have a Formspring account (See: “Ask Jozen Anything”), allowing readers the opportunity to ask me questions anonymously. Unfortunately, I haven’t been as prompt with my responses as I should be, so starting today I’m going to answer most of these questions via my daily posts every Monday and Friday. To those who think they’re going to be reading some dry questionnaire, give me more credit. I’m still going to be answering these questions with the hopes of entertaining in a thought-provoking way.

Also on the right hand margin of this blog, you will notice a new widget promoting an event I’m going to be a part of in New York City on June 2. It’s a relationships panel/music performance/party, and it should be a great time for everyone who comes. I, of course, am going to be on the relationships panel, and I sincerely hope all of you who are in the NYC area will (PAY TO!) come out.

Now, I’m already expecting most people who know me in real life to ask me for a hookup of Free.99, in which I will politely say “hell no,” but I do have an exclusive discount code (“Bachelor”) for five dollars off  for anyone interested.  To those who have never met me in person or heard me speak about the things I discuss here, this is your chance. Hopefully with this blog I’ve given you enough incentive, but if you still need some convincing, consider this post in which I share more of myself, to be my attempt at giving you a preview of who you’re coming to see. Enjoy.

Oh wait, one more thing: All these questions are from real people whose name I do not know since they do not share. If you sent me a question, chances are I am going to be answering it, but if I don’t answer, it’s probably because I can’t do so briefly, it was too easy so I answered on Formspring, or I feel some sort of way about answering and would rather not. Also, I’m answering these from the most recent one, back. Now, without further ado….

Do me a favour. Tell me to find someone else. Can you believe it’s been nearly two months?

Find someone else. There.

But no, really, two months isn’t that long. I always say when it comes to getting over someone, we only have a problem if it’s taking us longer than we spent with them. So if we were only with this person for two months and we’re still not over it two months later, than we should find someone else quickly and pay for if necessary. But if we were with them for two years and it’s been two months, then sorry, it might be a while. Hopefully not two years.

Do you think a 21-year-old girl and a 30-year-old guy would work?

If it’s legal, it has a chance.

When I was 20, I dated a woman for a year and a half who was 7 years my senior, and yeah, it may not have worked, but it wasn’t because of our age. Just don’t put a pedestal on the guy cause he’s older. There’s a lot of good dudes who are 21 and a lot of bad ones who are 30, so remember that when your study partner is taking your calls while the sugar daddy is not.

What is the most difficult part about living with a woman?

It’s the same thing that’s difficult about living with a man. Chris Rock once said when it comes to marriage you got to love the ugly in your spouse, and I would have to say the same about with whomever you choose to live. But not only do you have to love them when they’re looking like the furthest thing from who you fell in love with, but you also have to wipe it away from your memory a couple of days later when they’re in the mood to have sex.

How do you like Steve Harvey’s book, “Act like a Lady, Think Like a man”?

I don’t because I haven’t read it and I should probably say here, I never plan to.

A lot of people tell me my blog reminds them of his book, and I guess I’ll believe them, but what I do is more about my relationships than other people’s relationships. I’m not a relationship expert, I’m just an expert on my own.

Why wouldn’t you date a virgin?

I tried, not too long ago, and it wasn’t easy. I could get into a bunch of reasons why, but here’s one I hope most people will understand.

It wasn’t so much regular sex I was missing, it was missing things like make-up sex. When couples who have sex argue and get in fights, make-up sex is sometimes so good it’s almost worth it to argue with them again. When I got into fights with the virgin I was dating, and we made up, there was just extra-long kisses. That got to be super frustrating and I told myself I wouldn’t put myself through it again.

What is one song you can sing from beginning to end?

Two songs: “Ain’t No Fun” by Snoop Dogg and this one.

What do you consider to be your best physical asset?

My mid-section not because I have a six-pack, but because I almost have one and I don’t even work out.

As you’ve witnessed, are light-skin men in or out? Have you ever been turned down by a woman b/c of your “high yellow-ness”?

Well, I don’t know about other light-skin men, but I’ve always been in. As for whether or not I’ve been turned down by a woman because of my “high-yellow-ness”, I don’t think so. I’ve never been given that reason, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some unlucky woman did such a thing.

So do you just write this because it’s true or because you know we women dig it? Is it because it’s what you’re “supposed to say”? I just want to know. It all sounds good, reads good – but is it really true?

The person who asked this, sent me the question the day I wrote this. And I just want to make it clear, everything I write comes from the heart. I’m not in the business of pandering. I don’t do things for women to dig, I do things for men and women to dig, to enjoy. The fact that I have a way with words doesn’t make them any less authentic or true.

Do you consider yourself to have reached celebrity blogger status? Do you have any groupies?

No to both questions.

I’m of the thought that even a celebrity blogger isn’t much of a celebrity if compared to the likes of George Clooney. I’m just blessed to have a lot of readers. As for the groupies, I have a lot of female fans but I don’t think any of them would sleep with me on sight. No woman is that big of a fan of this blog. Maybe they are of my words and in that case, they’re no different than any woman I’ve dated. More than my looks or any other factor we can come up with, my words have always been my way to a woman’s heart and her bedroom. They’ve also been the way out of her heart and her bedroom, so there we go.

Ever recognize someone that you’re FB “friends” with when you’re out and about and although you don’t know them personally, you make eye contact? Do you speak or treat them like the stranger they are?

Treat them like the stranger they are, and then don’t be a stranger. Introduce yourself to them. I’m more than happy to meet a FB friend in real life, so if I recognize one I’m probably going to say something. I try to keep my online life consistent with my real one.

Anyone @ the Prince vs. MJ party stand out to you? Why did you choose not to holler and only dance?

I’m glad you noticed. There were a lot of fine girls at this party, and I danced with a few of them, but I wasn’t trying to holler because, well, I don’t know. Sometimes hollering isn’t the endgame.

Straight or curly hair?

Curly hair gives the straight hair a better effect, so I’m going with curly.

Thick or lean?

If I could have a combination of both, that would be great.

How do you deal with heartbreak? I feel like I’m running in circles…

Stop running. Get used to the pain and learn to walk with a limp. Once you got it down pat, limp with your held high, and you’ll look like a pimp, like a person who’s seen some things, and been through some things, but only came out of those things stronger than they were before.