Poppin’ The Questions 4
Just so we’re clear, at no point do I claim to be an expert about anything that doesn’t concern my own life. I have not let any of the questions I get go to my head, and at no point would I tell a person to take what I say as absolute or law. But since some of you all ask, I enjoy answering and so begins another round of “Poppin’ The Questions”. I promise you, I don’t make these questions up, only the answers.
Do the comments ever hurt your feelings?
There’s not one particular type of comment that has that kind of effect on me, but when people think they know me through one post or the other, or even reading all of these posts, it does get under my skin to an extent. A good example of this is a post I wrote a couple of months ago entitled, “On Laughing”. If you look through the comments, there is one comment a person left that said “You still live @ home.” That got under my skin, and as badly as I wanted to say something, I held true to my rule and let it slide, knowing that if they keep up with the blog, eventually they will see I don’t live at home. But yeah, times like that, I definitely have to exercise some restraint, and maybe do a push-up or two to get out my frustration.
Favorite hairstyle on a woman?
My friends would say I love women who wear their hair natural, I would say it’s just a coincidence I dated a lot of women who wear their hair natural. My personal favorite hairstyle on a woman is anything above the shoulders. Even if I date a woman with long dreads, I love when they put their hair up. I’m into short hair on women.
What’s the best way to deal with a break up if you didn’t really break up on bad terms but because it simply wasn’t working out? On top of that, you work together?
Remember why you two broke up, and find a new job would be my advice. It’s all about agreements. You don’t have to break up because you disagree with each other. You just have to break up if you agree it’s best not to be together. So long as you two are comfortable with that, it shouldn’t be a problem. Don’t confuse an ability to get along with an ability to be together. The two aren’t the same.
What are your thoughts on weaves?
Honestly, I’m tolerant. I’ve never dated a woman and thought she needed a weave or she needed to take one out. If that’s what she likes, then I don’t say anything. Plus, it’s not about whether or not she wears weaves, it’s whether or not the weave looks good on her.
Have you ever been truly intimated by a woman to the point where you felt too inadequate to date her?
Nope. I actually follow the advice of a friend of mine, which is as follows: “Holler at women you have no business hollering at.” I do that all the time. For instance, I love tall girls. If they’re 5’9 and up, I’m in there. I’m only 6’0, so I probably have no business talking to a woman who can be slightly taller than me if she wears heels, but still, it’s what I go for. I’m never intimidated.
What do you think of Drake’s “Find Your Love” video?
Drake’s video is dope, I don’t see what the controversy is, but then again, I’ve never even set foot in Jamaica, so what do I know?
As a mixed individual, how do you feel about dating mixed females because I know you said you love your black women.
This is a weird question. Because I’m mixed I should be into other mixed women or I should be more tolerant of dating them? Like I said before, my dating black women isn’t a part of some race-based agenda I’m trying to put forth. I like to date beautiful women. If they’re mixed with a little something, it’s all good.
Who do you think will win the NBA finals?
Celtics in 7.
Do you have a hidden talent?
At this point in my life, I would say my ability to play trombone is a hidden talent. Before I decided to go to Howard, I was heavily considering Berklee College of Music in Boston to study Jazz. I wasn’t phenomenal, but I was decent enough to play in an honor jazz band that toured Europe.
If a movie was made about your life, which actor would you want to play you?
I have no idea. But I would love to hear some suggestions in the comments, and if one person says Drake, I’m erasing their comment. (Kidding)
Who’s your favorite writer?
There’s a few of them and I don’t really have a set criteria, but I will say the following authors: Junot Diaz, Malcolm Gladwell, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Kelefah Saneh, Danyel Smith, Jon Caramanica, Benjamin Meadows-Ingram. And yes, some of these folks are people I’m privileged to know beyond the page. But the list is really endless.
If money was no object, where else in New York would you live other than Harlem?
I’m sorry to disappoint, but honestly, there’s no where else I would want to live in NYC other than Harlem. I just love it too much and it’s where I will remain until the day I leave. Even if I won the Lotto, I’d just buy a whole building somewhere in the 130’s and live there.
During sex, have you ever thought, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m having sex with a body like this!” Do you think thoughts like this run through a guy’s mind often?
I know they run through mine. There have definitely been women I’ve been with whose bodies are just incredible, and a part of me always goes back to that guy who could only dream about being close to such bodies. It’s a surreal kind of experience sometimes. And then, we actually do it, and they’re wack, and yeah, it just gets you down.
Someone has asked you about having a editor and I think you need to get on that. One thing you always do that drives me crazy: you say “might of” or should of” instead of “might have” or “should have” I love your blog and would help you edit for free.
Look, my writing isn’t perfect nor do I claim it to be, but I would honestly say 90 percent of any post is punctually correct and spelled correctly. I don’t think I’m doing that bad of a job and I pride myself in fixing my own mistakes. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, if something in a post is wrong, if I’m missing a word, or I used a word wrong, or I misspelled something, anyone can just email me and I’ll gladly fix it. But hiring an editor to do what I already know how to do and only miss on occasion is not only ridiculous, it’s a waste of time for everyone involved. I appreciate people being so passionate about my work they want to help out, but I’m not hiring an editor for anything UIGM related, until I get a publishing deal. Just emailing me with something that’s wrong is all the editing and help I need and I would encourage everyone to do it.
What’s your favorite cuisine? meal?
It’s weird. My favorite cuisine is seafood. My favorite meal is tacos. I don’t like fish tacos. Like I said, weird.
I’m wrapping it up here, folks. But leave comments on some of these questions, especially the one about who should play me in a movie about my life. I’m curious to see those answers. I kind of rushed this today though, so I might add more questions later. Keep ’em coming. Oh and one more thing…
REMINDER: Don’t forget to check me out on June 3rd at the Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event. This is going to be one of the hottest tickets in town you get a live show, concert, and after party for only $20 if you use my discount code “BACHELOR”. Click here to purchase tickets Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event