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Stupid Arguments Vol. 2: Lord of The Rings Edition

No “Poppin’ The Questions” today. I have decided to only go with it once a week, and I’ll pick a day at random, so look out for it sometime next week.

In it’s place, I would like to continue my ongoing, sporadic series called “Stupid Arguments.” These posts are centered around exactly what the title suggests, the stupid arguments I’ve had in relationships and how they have spun out of control.

To be clear, I really do believe every argument is valid because even  when they seem so trivial, they probably have some deep seeded issue tied to them. But still, how we get to the real issues is often times the long way there, and usually comes from a place so silly and trivial, we almost can’t believe how it started. Here are two examples, courtesy of Lord of The Rings.

It should be said up front, I don’t really do fantasy when it comes to television, films, books, or even video games. I’m not a Star Trek fan, a Star Wars fan, or really anything with the word “stars” in the title. I also don’t do Willow, Harry Potter, or the Twighlight series, and any girl I date should know this up front.

(Although, full disclosure: I did see the last Twilight movie with a girl I was dating at the time. Not bad, but not being seen ever again either.)

For the most part, girls I have dated respect my tastes, not really pushing what they enjoy on me to enjoy too. But for some reason, there have been two girls I dated who insisted, and practically prison-raped Lord of The Rings onto my eyes. Both times I told them I wasn’t into it. I know I wouldn’t be into it. They insisted I would be, to just watch it with them and watch, my mind would soon change.

So fine, the first time I gave it a shot was with my girlfriend in college. She, of course, already saw all three of the Lord of The Rings, so we had to start from the beginning. She pops in the first one, I position myself on her living room floor, and before she comes back with the popcorn, before the opening credits even end, I’m asleep.

My college ex kicks me gently in my side. “Wake up,” she said. “I’m up,” I said. Then I sat myself up, so I could get through the remaining 2 hours and 54 minutes of the film. Not even two minutes later, I doze off again. And this time, my ex gives me a love tap on the back of my head.

“You know, if you’re going to go to sleep just go in the bedroom,” she said.

“Fine,” I replied. “I’ll just watch this in the morning.” Then, I got up, went to her bedroom, and fell asleep.

I couldn’t have been asleep for five minutes before my college ex comes into the bedroom, turns the light on and says, “If you’re going to go to sleep, go home.” At the time, I believe my car was in the shop, so she had to take me home. I didn’t want to argue so I said, “Look, I’ll watch it in the morning. Just let me sleep.”

“No,” she said. “Get out.”

Still not arguing.

“Fine, cool. Take me home then.”

She crossed her arms and just looked at me.

“You’re not taking me home?” I asked.

Still looking at me.

“Okay, fine, I see how it is.” So I got my keys, called my boy and asked him to pick me up as I walked outside into what was at least a Category 3 storm. As I’m waiting for my boy to come and pick me up in the pouring rain. My college ex comes outside and from her porch, throws a garbage bag of my stuff onto the sidewalk, where it lands at my feet.

“And don’t bother coming back either, you inconsiderate motherf*cker!” she yells.

All this, I thought, over Lord of the Rings.

We would later get back together and break up for good over entirely different reasons, but to this day, we laugh about this.

Four years later, Lord of The Rings would end for me the same way. This time, it was the ex from my last relationship. I already told her about my ex in college and what happened. Still, she insisted it would be different, and I foolishly thought the same. So I gave it a shot, and within the first 15 minutes, I was fast asleep. This, of course, upset my ex-girlfriend, upset her to the point, where I think she actually let me stay asleep, went to the gym in a huff, and took my phone, only to throw it in a trash bin on the corner of the street.

Of course, I know neither of these blow-ups at me had to do with Lord of The Rings specifically. Lord of The Rings was just an impetus to blow up at me over some serious issues, but right now, those issues aren’t important. I’m just saying, I still have yet to watch Lord of The Rings, and after two failed attempts, I will never try again. I already know how that movie ends.

Now it’s your turn. Share your own stupid arguments in the c-section.

REMINDER: Don’t forget to check me out on June 3 at the Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event. This is going to be one of the hottest tickets in town. You get a  live show, concert, and after party for only $20 if you use my discount code “BACHELOR”. Most importantly, you get to see me do the thing I do on here, in person. Click here to purchase tickets Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event

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  • Danielle D

    Women are so like that…we want men to be so into us and what we do and it is like when are we gonna learn you could really give a rats ass about nail polish or sandals or outfits. But in the same respect I would hope you would realize we are not going to be that enthused about Basketball, Video Games, or ACTION FILMS (Even though everytime I was “prison raped” to watch an Action Movie I was always pleased.) But unfortunately I can’t remember not one silly arguement from a past relationship. My college ex would get literally MAD at me because when I would visit his dorm, he’d be watching basketball and I would fall asleep. He would be mad because this was during those “visitation” times, so we only had so much time to be together and me falling asleep would waste this time, only I felt like it was wasted time anyway because he didn’t attempt to entertain me. He put a basketball game on and watched it, literally watched the game, leaving me there sort of forced to watch too and being that I am not the sporty chick type I would doze, and one has to understand my doze is like death, that is why I don’t take naps, when I doze I am out like instant drool. LOL! My arguement to his was stop watching the game then….we fixed this by staying the same dorm the next year which led to some serious arguements.

  • **inquiring mind**

    Jozen WTF! Just when we were getting used to the “PTQ” series you switch it up- seriously, get a plan and stick with it… ANYWAY-

    Stupid arguments… hmmm nope, I got nada. But I will say a chick that would get that pssst over a freggin movie (unlying issues or not) sounds EX-worthy… sh!t like that is ALWAYS a sign of something unstable period!

  • Miss. Riss

    Once again, a post that makes crack up laughing in the work place…lol

    I am just like that…I don’t get down with the vampires and fake missions for some random magical powers. My college ex loved Lord of the Rings as well…and also, as well..I feel asleep…in the movie theatre. Luckily, he didn’t get mad. I was very clear that I do not like this crap, and if u wanna pay for me to go to sleep, then fine.

    I’ll have to come back with a stupid argument. Whenever I think of it, I’m sure it won’t end in throwing away someones property or throwing thier ish out in the

  • Yesi Jukebox

    I don’t have any stupid arguements to share I just wanna say that both of your exes were TRIPPING! I mean i’m sure i’ve had some kind of stupid arguement at some point but i’m a get-to-the-point kind of person and I don’t like to argue so it baffles me when people want to go on and on about nothing. Just say what you feel.

  • **inquiring mind**

    You know what… now that I think about it I did get into an argument with this dude I’m currently dating (nothin offi-SHAL yet) about buying me a soda (I wonder if this has anything to do with it- ha!)… I mean I got P-I-ISSED… ultimately it was just becuz I was frustrated over something else we had been arguing about before hand and he hadn’t made amends for it yet, soooo uh… yeah I went in HARD *shrug*

    Point is… men just apologize- ALWAYS

  • Bee

    I hate Lord of the Rings as well. Dude forced me to see the 3rd one in the movie theater when he knew I hadn’t seen the first two. Then he wanted to leave early since I wasn’t enjoying it. Needless to say we were done a few weeks later.

  • Level Headed Chick

    This was freakin hilarious…and yes females are guilty of that…we often fault the man for not being clear and open about his feelings but at a young age when we are not yet equipped to process and communicate our own we do things like flip out over movies and random stuff. It’s all a part of the growth process.
    I was upset cause I wanted my boyfriend to walk with me in the mall to pick up some things…he wanted to sit in the car and take a nap while I shopped…so I nicely LOCKED HIS ASS IN THE CAR..that’s right folks…in 80 degree weather with the windows rolled 90% up…I locked him in the car….needless to say when he opened the door to get some air..the alarm went off and he came looking for me in the mall….Guess it was a slight cry for attention and to have my way..OH WELL…

  • Tiffany

    WTH? Ok, I have fallen asleep to many movies during a date, in fact I did it at the movies once (it was a horrible movie). Anyways, LOTR was a great movie, but I can’t imagine why they were flipping out. I guess there was a lot of frustration on their side and this was a the straw that broke the camels back. I guess if you came there and was suppose to spend time with your lady friend and your fell asleep she prob was miffed, but #2 had fair warning of your slumber habits during this movie. Maybe next time you should get some Red Bull before you go hang out, lol.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  • Leo knows best.

    this shit really isn’t that funny. its sad that women think its acceptable to act this way.

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Leo knows best.
    awww boooo… we just be playing- kinda

  • Newbie

    @ Leo it’s funny in retrospect but u r rite not funny @ all when u r going thru it.

  • Teach It

    Women actually get mad over stuff like this? Over a movie? She craaaaazy and deraaaanged (best Martin voice).

  • bchuck

    this is funny becuase the girl i talk to is into harry potter movies, but i’ve never seen any of em. Anyway we went to the last one and i fell asleep within ten minutes. She wasn’t tripping on it either way. She’s fallen asleep on movies i like too. Moral of the story: find someone where petty s**t like this doesn’t even matter.

  • Cheekie

    Cracking. The. Hell. Up.

  • MissMina

    At first i wanted to say that they were being ridiculous. But then I realized there are always three sides to every story, your side, the other side and the truth. So I will take this one with a grain of salt and continue to believe that no one would want to break up over a movie as dumb as LOTR. Ugh…

  • MissMina

    I got into an all night fight with an ex about where I was going to where MY birth control patch. I wanted it in a place no one (but him) would ever see, while he wanted to be able to “enjoy the view”. Thats all I can say without getting too explicit. But yes that was very ugly….and I decided to at least try wearing it where he suggested and ended up getting comments from several people who not only noticed but were bold enough to point it out. He was a selfish ass….

  • BoomShots

    Shts too hilarious. Some folks are so immature about stuff. I have women go off at me about refusing to argue with them (AKA not willing to fight for the relationship); not wanting to have sex(AKA I must be getting it from someone else, cheating); my refusing to go to breakfast with her because I like having breakfast at home(AKA I am controlling).

    Probably not as ridiculous as LOR arguments but probably more about my refusal to expel energy in activities that I see no benefit.

    We will always meet people in life who are bullies and I don’t believe gender makes a difference

  • sunkissed404

    lol..Nah..I have never argued over a movie before…ever. But, I have to say, about a week ago , my parents (married 20+ ) got into a stupid argument…which I had to hear about from my mom, cuz she needed to “vent” (Don’t worry..I’m charging from now on). Anyway, it had been a couple of days since their “argument”. My mom calls me when I’m at work like “Hey..I know you’re at work…but what was I mad at your dad about earlier?”…I reminded her. She said, “Oh yeah. I’mma call him right now and tell him bout himself”. I’m like, “Sure. Anytime ma”… Wow. Oh-Em-Gee. lol Where they do dat at?

  • artsmd

    Damn. I can’t even see the little letters swimmin’ all over my screen right now….my eyes are just filled with tears from LMAO!!! I’ve never submitted a comment before though I follow your blog daily, but this was straight up hilarious to me! Great post of stupid arguments!

  • dbaby11

    wow… this is hilarious!! i admit i have been guilty of being involved in arguments thats later turned out to be ridiculous…but lets face it, i am a woman and we LOVE to be dramatic!!!!:-) nice post!

  • ray

    woooow…. i had the same problem with my ex-gf, she will make me watch a program in the UK called JONATHAN ROSS… for some reason i used to get very upset about watching the program but looking back at it now i dont know i normally get upset but i guess girls just dont undetstand…

  • Melissa

    I remember getting into an argument over IHOP. I wanted to go to IHOP because there was no IHOP near my house and I didn’t have a car at the time. Dude said he was gonna take me, but then flipped the script when he got to the house saying he wanted to go to Wendy’s. Now any other time I would have wanted to go to Wendy’s, no prob. BUt this day, it was IHOP or death!

    Well, my roomate at the time agreed she wanted to go to Wendy’s too! I gave her the look, she kept talking. We pile in the car, go to Wendy’s. He asked, “You want somethin?” I was so ANGRY, I answered “No”. So he and my roomate sat there eating, IN MY FACE. But I stood my ground, lol. I was SECRETLY SO HUNGRY. After that we argued some more, he called me ungrateful and spoiled, I called him selfish, and I kicked him out. SO stupid.

    We broke up a couple weeks later. lol

    (#sidenote we were in college, so these types of tastiness was few & far between. When you found a dude with a car, you went to every restaurant)

  • Vivienne

    lol…I feel the same way over HotTubTimeMachine/Hangover/Superbad/etc…
    But my phone never got thrown in the trashcan over it. I just went to sleep.

    I got into it with someone over earrings before. He picked me up, and said “Those earrings are ugly.” I said, “Thanks for sharing.” He said, “I mean, they are. I’m just trying to be honest.” I said, “Okay, but that doesn’t mean I’m changing them.” He said, “Well, I guess that means you don’t respect my opinion.” I said, “I respect it, but you are not the earring authority.” He said, “If you don’t like what I’m saying in my own car, you can get out!”

    I got out. Haven’t spoken to him since. That was just a mess, and to this day, I started thinking that that earring conversation couldn’t have been just about earrings.

  • taurusitalia

    WOW!! Ok, I think I’m just about done laughing…Ok, those women are crazy! LMAO!! Did you ever find out the “real” argument? We have all been there, an argument breaks out over something stupid & trivial. Throw you out in the rain…thats just mean! I’m a woman, I can say these women are nuts! LOL! And its funny, being that you are a guy, was upfront with how you felt about the movie & yet still you are crucified for it! UGHH!!! This is why guys don’t vocalize emotions…if this is the reaction from women, why should men put themselves out there & through this unnecessary madness. As a woman, if I feel myself being “dramatic” I walk away until I can gain some rationale.

  • mimi

    LMAO!!!! I have so many. But the one key one, Monica’s Makings of Me CD. It was technically HIS, but I loved it. We’re driving to the mall– well I’m driving. I say “Pass me my Monica CD”. This asshole says “This is not YOUR CD, it’s mine” Mind you he’s laughing. I’m irritated like “Who cares, just put it in… whatever.” Like really, who cares. We’d been together too damn long to go through and say whats mine and his. It’s a damn Monica CD. You’re not getting t back, like just put the shit in and shut up. (Those were my thoughts) But yet, he gets a kick out of getting my my last nerve. So he forces it, “But wait… this CD isn’t your’s” (or something.) So I don’t know how we went from there to me saying “I’ll throw this shit out the window and you won’t have a CD.” LOL! But we did. And he dared me not to. ME! I’m a younger sister… baby sister… little cousin to a bunch of dudes. Are you daring me NOT to do something. So he says, sipping a fruit punch, “You throw my CD right, and I’m going to pour this juice all over you.”

    Once during an arguement I launched his cell phone out of the window of a moving car he was driving. LOL. He had to go find it. Oh well… this is the shit you go through when you try to hold on to a relationship that you should’ve let go of. Anywho! So thats why he’s acting like I won’t do it again. Oh and in this situation all he did was go find the phone and yell… then feel bad and try to talk to me. It was his fault.

    Needless to say I launched that shit out of the window. He laughed and shook his head and said “OMG.. u are soooo disrespectful” to hisself but loud enough for me to hear. We get to the mall and he pours juice on me as I get out. OMG. GASP. I wanted to kill his ass. I was all sticky. I was PTFO. And yeah… we had like a screaming match in the mall parking lot… people staring. I left his ass stranded there too. Broke up… big mess. And the next day I drove myself back to Atlanta (college). All other details are unnecessary. LMAO… but it was like a big ass arguement…. over a damn Monica CD.

    To this day he thinks I was just tripping because I think everything is mine once I use it. However, we were just in a bad space. You know how you have issues that become silent and then one event just blows everything up… yeap!!! That CD was it. And do u know how mad I was that I launched that cd out!!! That was like my favorite CD at the time!!! i had to buy another one for myself! SMH!

  • ChiCity

    ‘and practically prison-raped Lord of The Rings onto my eyes ROFLMBO….really.
    the visual is just too much for me hahahahaha

    Really, they could have found something better to go out with a bang about…I’m not about to go all out like that over a movie. ESPECIALLY if you tell me that you don’t like it. I’m not even about to waste your time, I can’t change you.

    But wait, that’s the problem with the whole post. They were trying to change you instead of accepting you and taking you at face value.

  • Top5WitnessProtection

    I have never had a situation end so bad with a girl for any reason… I dont believe in arguments. I think i get this from parents. My parents had discussions, some times heated but never arguments. Never heard my parents scream at each other an so on.

    Never had this type of drama ever in a relationship.

  • Sweetilocks

    This was really funny. I understand how stupid arguments occur and in both cases, I think u just crossed some die hard fans, lol! But I have gotten into petty arguments with my ex where I was trippin’ so I understand how it happens. In our case, I got mad at him after he asked me where I wanted to go eat and then changed his mind and decided to drive somewhere else. Mind you, it wasn’t my favorite restaurant or anything, but it felt like he was robbing me of the choice or my power in the relationship. We made up only after he left me sleeping alone in his bed and a mouse bit my toe. The worse part is this all happened the nite after we had a great time partying for his birthday. Talk about shame! But you’re right, there’s always a deeper issue at play.

  • Wart

    Maybe you should find a woman, not a girl.

  • Christina

    The most ridiculous argument my ex & I had was about fruit punch. He went to the gas station to get us both snacks and I told him I had no specific requests. That was clearly a mistake… he had no idea what to get me. He returned with some random Doritos flavor and some fruit punch… I hate fruit punch. Well I don’t hate it but I don’t care for it and I had told him so literally 2 days ago. I tried to let it go but when he yelled at me for somehow distracting him from work he was supposed to have done earlier, I snapped. I told him he knew nothing about me and asked why he would ever bring me fruit punch. He said it was his favorite drink so he got me one too. I told him a phrase that I got from the Cosby show many years ago and still use to this day when I feel a statement warrants it: “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life” why would you think that because something is your favorite drink I have to like it too? I stormed out the room and continued to curse him out through the halls of Meridian Hill Hall since he felt the need to follow me to my room. (I’m a Howard student btw)

  • Guest

    LMFAO!!! wow..have those girls ever heard of the word ‘compromise’? wow….those Lord of The Ring fans go HARD!! ..smh I love the Twilight series but I would NEVER force a guy to watch it if he’s not into it.  I don’t have time for dumb arguments , how about finding something we BOTH like and keep it movin’? smh ridiculous.

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