Stupid Arguments Vol. 2: Lord of The Rings Edition
No “Poppin’ The Questions” today. I have decided to only go with it once a week, and I’ll pick a day at random, so look out for it sometime next week.
In it’s place, I would like to continue my ongoing, sporadic series called “Stupid Arguments.” These posts are centered around exactly what the title suggests, the stupid arguments I’ve had in relationships and how they have spun out of control.
To be clear, I really do believe every argument is valid because even when they seem so trivial, they probably have some deep seeded issue tied to them. But still, how we get to the real issues is often times the long way there, and usually comes from a place so silly and trivial, we almost can’t believe how it started. Here are two examples, courtesy of Lord of The Rings.
It should be said up front, I don’t really do fantasy when it comes to television, films, books, or even video games. I’m not a Star Trek fan, a Star Wars fan, or really anything with the word “stars” in the title. I also don’t do Willow, Harry Potter, or the Twighlight series, and any girl I date should know this up front.
(Although, full disclosure: I did see the last Twilight movie with a girl I was dating at the time. Not bad, but not being seen ever again either.)
For the most part, girls I have dated respect my tastes, not really pushing what they enjoy on me to enjoy too. But for some reason, there have been two girls I dated who insisted, and practically prison-raped Lord of The Rings onto my eyes. Both times I told them I wasn’t into it. I know I wouldn’t be into it. They insisted I would be, to just watch it with them and watch, my mind would soon change.
So fine, the first time I gave it a shot was with my girlfriend in college. She, of course, already saw all three of the Lord of The Rings, so we had to start from the beginning. She pops in the first one, I position myself on her living room floor, and before she comes back with the popcorn, before the opening credits even end, I’m asleep.
My college ex kicks me gently in my side. “Wake up,” she said. “I’m up,” I said. Then I sat myself up, so I could get through the remaining 2 hours and 54 minutes of the film. Not even two minutes later, I doze off again. And this time, my ex gives me a love tap on the back of my head.
“You know, if you’re going to go to sleep just go in the bedroom,” she said.
“Fine,” I replied. “I’ll just watch this in the morning.” Then, I got up, went to her bedroom, and fell asleep.
I couldn’t have been asleep for five minutes before my college ex comes into the bedroom, turns the light on and says, “If you’re going to go to sleep, go home.” At the time, I believe my car was in the shop, so she had to take me home. I didn’t want to argue so I said, “Look, I’ll watch it in the morning. Just let me sleep.”
“No,” she said. “Get out.”
Still not arguing.
“Fine, cool. Take me home then.”
She crossed her arms and just looked at me.
“You’re not taking me home?” I asked.
Still looking at me.
“Okay, fine, I see how it is.” So I got my keys, called my boy and asked him to pick me up as I walked outside into what was at least a Category 3 storm. As I’m waiting for my boy to come and pick me up in the pouring rain. My college ex comes outside and from her porch, throws a garbage bag of my stuff onto the sidewalk, where it lands at my feet.
“And don’t bother coming back either, you inconsiderate motherf*cker!” she yells.
All this, I thought, over Lord of the Rings.
We would later get back together and break up for good over entirely different reasons, but to this day, we laugh about this.
Four years later, Lord of The Rings would end for me the same way. This time, it was the ex from my last relationship. I already told her about my ex in college and what happened. Still, she insisted it would be different, and I foolishly thought the same. So I gave it a shot, and within the first 15 minutes, I was fast asleep. This, of course, upset my ex-girlfriend, upset her to the point, where I think she actually let me stay asleep, went to the gym in a huff, and took my phone, only to throw it in a trash bin on the corner of the street.
Of course, I know neither of these blow-ups at me had to do with Lord of The Rings specifically. Lord of The Rings was just an impetus to blow up at me over some serious issues, but right now, those issues aren’t important. I’m just saying, I still have yet to watch Lord of The Rings, and after two failed attempts, I will never try again. I already know how that movie ends.
Now it’s your turn. Share your own stupid arguments in the c-section.
REMINDER: Don’t forget to check me out on June 3 at the Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event. This is going to be one of the hottest tickets in town. You get a live show, concert, and after party for only $20 if you use my discount code “BACHELOR”. Most importantly, you get to see me do the thing I do on here, in person. Click here to purchase tickets Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event