The Man Who Always Knew Exactly What To Say
They call me a smart ass. Of all the names I’ve been called throughout my life, “smart ass” has been the one most often used. But I never pay it any mind as a knock on me because usually it is said after I made the point I was trying to make and the point was usually correct.
Although, these days, I will admit, the whole “smart ass” tag and whether or not it’s an actual diss or a backhanded compliment has made me evaluate what it is about me that often provokes people to say such things. And over the last few months of taking the time to really get to the source of this whole “smart ass” thing I have finally come to one conclusion…
My problem is I always know exactly what to say.
Just yesterday I wrote on my Facebook status and Twitter that instead of being nice to women, I was just going to start being a jerk simply because anytime I do have something nice to say, it gets misconstrued as me running game.
Some people misunderstood this as some sort of “aw-shucks-nice-guys-like-me-always-finish-last” sort of cry for help. But one of my friends who knows me in real life had the type of response I have to expect from anyone who has dealt with me in any sort of capacity beyond this blog. She said, “But you’re always a jerk, Jozen.”
See? She knows what I was saying in my original message, but perhaps I wasn’t clear enough, so allow me to do that right now.
There are two kinds of jerks out there. The first is the kind of guy who doesn’t know how to talk to anyone, who lacks tact, and cooth. They say whatever’s on the mind and spare no feelings. They just want to keep it real, and if by doing so they hurt some feelings or make people uncomfortable, so be it. I’m not this guy. I’m the other one.
The other jerk is the guy who knows exactly what to say and how to say it. He picks not his words, but his spots to say those words so they have a maximum effect. He too will speak his mind, but not to stir up controversy for controversy’s sake. He’s just trying to express himself in a way so eloquent, even the most outlandish of ideas will sound pleasant. But his main issue is this: He always knows what to say, never exactly what to do.
Always knowing what to say is a gift I learned I had a long time ago. Not knowing when to shut up or when to start backing those words up with some real actions, are, on the other hand, things I’m still working on. I’ve always been able to talk a good game, but when it comes playing one, mediocre at best.
I say all this not to clear up some Facebook message or Tweet I sent out earlier, but because I really do have to find a way to say not what sounds good, but what is right. Lately, everything I say that does sound good in my head, ends up sounding like game in the head of the recipient. And I’m beginning to wonder, is that my fault or is that her fault? Because when I tell a girl, “I miss you” and I really do mean that, she doesn’t respond with any note of flattery or surprise. Instead she says, “That’s just game you’re running.” Then I’m stuck in this back and forth, trying to get her to believe it’s true, I do miss her, because it’s true, I do miss her. The problem is, she either doesn’t believe me because I’ve said similar things in the past and acted totally different, or she is very well aware I said the exact same thing to another girl and meant it all the same, which, for the record, doesn’t make my words any less genuine, just less exclusive.
But who am I kidding? This ability of mine to know exactly what to say and how to say it, isn’t going anywhere. I know there tends to be this high premium placed on the man who says nothing, but that man isn’t me. I’m the type of guy who just wrote over 700 words on knowing exactly what to say (and probably misspelled a word or two or used a word or two wrong, in the process).
We always say actions speak louder than words, but what if my words really mean something and they’re all I have? A person once asked me if I really do mean what I say when I write certain things because, you know, it all sounds so good. Still, they wanted to know, do I really mean all the pretty words I say? And the answer I gave then is the same one I will give now.
I mean every word of what I write or say, the only problem is, if it sounds too good to be true, that’s probably because a lot of what I say is not true yet. I’m still working on it.