The Five Things I Lost When She Moved Out
In the months leading up to my ex-girlfriend moving in with me, my boy gave me one piece of advice I never forgot. He said, “Just know if you two break up, it’s not like a normal break up. When you break up with the girl you live with, it’s on a totally different level.”
Boy was he right.
Without getting into the back story of our break up (I’m saving that for another time), today I want to share all the things lost when my ex-girlfriend moved out of my place. Initially, we decided it would be best to live separately as a way to save the relationship, but soon after, we realized it was best to break up all together. Thing is, she still had the key to my apartment to come get her stuff as she pleased. To my surprise, these are the things she took that were ours.
Oh and just so we’re clear, all of these things have been replaced, and I’m only sharing this as a laugh. Lesson’s been learned, so don’t even try to give me one in the comments.
THE TRASH CAN
Together, the two of us bought this cool garbage can. Actually, it was this one.
We both loved it so much, every time we had guests over, we expected them to say things to us like, “Nice trash can.” I don’t know why we liked it so much, but we did, and it hung by its screws on the inside of the cabinet door under the sink. One day, I came home, opened up the cabinet door, and watched a piece of trash I was throwing away fall to the floor. “She took the trash can!” I yelled to myself. I decided to take action and immediately marched down to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy myself a new one. The exact same one. There it hangs to this day. My trash can.
It was a burnt orange Nicole Miller down comforter. Another thing we got from an epic Bed, Bath, and Beyond trip. And yeah, it was definitely fly. My thing was, we had to get a color that wasn’t too girly. I’ll be damned if I let a woman’s touch invade what was once a bachelor pad. We decided on the Nicole Miller piece, and when she moved out she decided to take it. All good, I had my own blankets, but months later, I bought a new one I use to this day, as well as a new bed to go with it. For those who have ever lived with someone and shared a bed with them, they understand the impact of sharing a mattress. As a matter of fact, during the few weeks my ex and I stayed together as she moved into her other place, she didn’t even let me sleep in her new bed. If we were staying the night with each other, it was always at my our my place.
SOME CHEESE GRATER
It was months before I realized one of my favorite kitchen tools was no longer in my drawer of gadgets and I found out the cold way. I just came back from a long solo exodus to Whole Foods, where I picked up a fat block of parmagiano reggiano cheese. A couple days later, I hooked up some shrimp pasta, took out my block of cheese, and was more than excited to get my grate on. I looked in my gadget drawer, and nothing. Looked up in the cupboards, nothing. And then from there, I tore into my kitchen. It was one of those searches where the person gets so frustrated they begin to look for an item in places they know good and well they wouldn’t be. How else can I explain looking in my medicine cabinet for the cheese grater? I texted my ex, “DID YOU TAKE THE CHEESE GRATER TOO?” Her reply: “LOL, YOU JUST NOW REALIZED THAT…LOL!”. That was only funny to her.
A TICKET TO PICK UP A TAILORED SUIT
For Christmas, my ex took the measurements from another one of my tailored suits, gave them to the tailor, along with my gray pinstripe suit, paid for it in advance, and wrapped up the pick-up ticket in a box. It was a great gift. Classic, even. Too bad I never got to pick it up. Perhaps this one was my fault, as I probably should have picked it up weeks before my ex moved out, but that’s not the point. I was going to pick it up. A couple weeks after she moved out, I went down to the tailor and tried in vain to pick up my suit with no ticket. The tailor looked around his store filled with orders of suits in black garment bags, then looked at me, and laughed. That was only funny to him.
MY (I REPEAT) MY BIBLE
Okay, this was the last draw. All the things my ex took, were fine with me, but my Bible was crossing the line. In her defense, my Bible was actually given to me by her mother. It was a leather bound King James version, with my inscribed in gold leaf on the front; a beautiful gift to say the least. Her mom gave it to me after one of our first visits, and I took great care of it because, well, it meant the world to me. I had a Bible before hand, but not one with my name on it. I just loved it.
At the time I realized it was gone, my ex and I weren’t talking at all. So I called up her mother and explained to her calmly that I understand why she took the other things, but the Bible? My Bible? I know I could have bought another one, but that wasn’t the point, there are just some things, some gifts, we shouldn’t take back. Her mom understood and said she would talk to her daughter. Two days later, I was coming home from work, and when I got to my door, there on the doormat was my Bible. I don’t know how long it was there, but I noticed nobody touched it while it lay there. You know why? Because we don’t take people’s Bibles.