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Poppin’ The Questions 6

Hopefully everyone had a good weekend, I know I did. Normally, I wouldn’t start out the beginning of a short week with “Poppin’ The Questions” but I don’t have much time today and there were a couple of questions that really made me think, so I want to address them.

In any case, of course, this is also the week the Modern Day Matchmaker Live event finally hits New York City. I’ll be on a panel along with some good friends of mine, including: Demetria Lucas of ESSENCE and A Belle In BK, Anslem Samuel of, and Damon Young aka “The Champ” of Very Smart Brothas.

Get your tickets now at the discounted price of $20, by going here and entering the discount code, BACHELOR. Cost covers a concert, the panel, and an after party. Also increases the probability of meeting your future ex boyfriend or girlfriend, so yeah…might want to get on that.

(I kid)

Anyway, moving forward, “Poppin’ The Questions 6” and this week’s edition, starts with a diss.

You share these stories like you’re proud of them; the women you’ve played. You insist you’ve never been hurt/played, yet your writing has a superman complex. You look sad. A safety who finally got play. You’re sad. An 8? more like a 3.

I just wanted to throw this up here so the rest of my readers can see what kind of stuff I get inundated with on the daily. The “8” comment she’s referring to is in reference to the fourth question in last week’s PTQ, which you can see here.

As for the rest of her comment, I think it’s a matter of perception. People often confuse an admittance of guilt for a declaration of innocence, as though by admitting they’re wrong they’re more right. Well, that’s not me and I’m not proud of any harm that I’ve done just because I don’t shy away from it. I tell these stories because I like to talk about the things I’ve been through, good or bad. It’s how I deal. I also feel like I’m good at it, as good as anyone else who can share their life, so hopefully that clears things up. Oh, and as soon as I get back on my therapy (I’m so serious about that), I will discuss with him this “Superman Complex” you speak, to see if it’s something I actually have. Thanks for reading.

Does your ex (THE ex) read your blog? How does she feel about you sharing situations from your relationship, especially some of the more “sensitive” ones.

I actually found out she reads the blog a couple of months ago, and we have talked about it once. She said that sometimes she thinks I make her look like she was crazy, and I told her it’s because she was crazy. Just kidding. But over all, she doesn’t seem to mind. The fact is, with the exception of the people who know me and her in real life, no one would know who my ex was if they were standing next to her in a store. I’ve kept her identity hidden. Readers don’t even know her name, so I don’t think there’s much she can complain about. Also, these are my stories, and my ex, just like any other person I mention in my blog, are characters who are apart of my story. She understands that pretty well.

Do you write about your ex satircally or are you really not over her? I’ve been reading UIGM for a while and your ex is definitely the center of many posts…you trying to get back? Is this an homage to her?

I am over her, but I write about our relationship because it’s the one with the deepest impact. We lived together, went through a long distance phase together, broke up and moved out of each others lives. There was a lot going on, more than other relationships prior to her. So if I talk about my ex a lot it’s because I went through a lot with her. The other women I dated before, there wasn’t as much drama. Things were more civil.

With regards to whether or not this blog is an homage to her, that’s nonsense. This is blog an homage to me and I would never use it to get a woman back into my life.

Have you ever broken off a relationship with a female because her house was dirty?

Close. I actually went home with a girl and her place wasn’t exactly the cleanest, per se, but who was I to judge? Then, the biggest roach started crawling across her wall as we were making out. She starts screaming, and I want to scream because the thing was huge, but I can’t, I just have to pick up her slipper and smash this thing, which I do, and it leaves a big stain on her wall. So, because we were both kind of traumatized, we moved things into her room. Now keep in mind, the woman also had kids who were away for the weekend. I didn’t mind. All good with me. Again, I’m not here to judge. But when we crawl underneath the covers, I feel sand at the foot of her bed, which told me that she let her kids sleep in the bed with her with their shoes on. How do I know this? Because I used to do the same thing in my bed when i was a kid and my mom would always get so upset with the sand in my sheets.

What reason could a man possibly have for not speaking to a woman he was in a relationship with (for 4 years) if she didn’t cheat, lie, humiliate or steal?

Just because you didn’t cheat, lie, humiliate or steal from him doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt him. If you hurt him bad enough, that might be all the reason he needs to never speak to you again.

Why is it that all my exes think that no one else will love me better than they can? Even my current boyfriend said that he doesn’t trust anybody else to love me like he can. Is it suppose to make me want to stay?

Yeah, it’s supposed to make you stay but it’s a dumb tactic. I used to say this all the time, then came the humbling reality that every woman I have ever broken up with has ended up with a man who has loved her better than I did. One time, a woman even told me, straight up, “He’s a better boyfriend than you were.” That pretty much shut me up and I have since learned to not think such foolish thoughts. The fact is, if they’re an ex who is saying this, their position in your life alone is proof that they’re lying.

You should maybe only do 2-3 quality blogs a week instead of the half ass ones you have been doing. We know you have a cool job now but don’t let the other slip – just a suggestion.

Thanks for the suggestion, but if you don’t mind, I’m going to continue with my regularly scheduled routine. For every blog people say they didn’t like, another person tells me it’s their favorite one, so who am I supposed to believe? I keep at it because I don’t feel like I have the luxury of days off in the middle of a week and that to me is what separates me from say other people who call themselves writers. I write, even when I don’t feel like it, because everyone has to do their job even when they don’t feel like it. If any of these come off half-assed, well, that’s a reality too, but it’s no reason to not write the next day. If anything, it’s more reason to write the next day because the fact is, I’m only as good as my last post.

Are you turned off by females who still live at home? Could you ever consider a female living at home to be “in your league”?

No it doesn’t turn me off. It can be annoying knowing that there’s one less place (hers) we can’t get it on at because her parents always seem to be at home during the get-it-on hours, but I would never think a girl is out of my league due to her situation.

But let me just say this: Things like your own place, your own car, good credit, good job, all these things are things guys are into as much as girls are into. I don’t care if a man has all these things himself or not, the fact of the matter is, even though it may not turn him off if a woman doesn’t have something like her own place, it definitely turns him on if she does.

Now let that serve as a preview for tomorrow’s post…Peace everyone.

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  • P.A.

    Ok Question #1 was just annoying…I dont know how you deal it with on the regular, but God bless you.

  • mimi

    The last question was the best… and damn some of those were a little angry, huh?

  • Yesi Jukebox

    As an avid reader of your blog I feel like I have to defend you. For the first question – I don’t believe you come off as proud about the unfavorable things you have done. People should be able to understand by now that this blog is about your life and your experiences and all you are doing is sharing your perspective on those things. Also, what’s with the attack on your looks? As the saying goes “If you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all”

    Now as for question #7, oh excuse me I mean suggestion #7 if that person doesn’t want to read your blog posts then just don’t come to the website. There have been a few posts that I haven’t enjoyed and those are the ones I just don’t comment on but I am mostly entertained. The minute I stop being entertained by your blog will be when I stop coming back.

  • Alana

    Looking forward to 2morrow!

  • Miss. Riss

    I look at blogs, and personal blogs like yours especially and poetry in sort of the same way.

    It’s someone’s feelings, thier thoughts, thier opinions, who is anyone to make direct judgements and comments on it? I never understood how someone could say, oh his poetry sucks, that’s someone’s feelings you’re talking about. You may not like it, but someone else is loving it and taking an important lesson from it. That’s the same about your blog, this is your life and your thoughts on it. How can they pass judgement on your life, and if they’re gonna pass judgement, keep it to yourself.

    Unless your blog is thier homepage they have an option to read or not to read. Judgemental comments are really unneccesary.

    I know you will keep up the good work regardless, but just wanted to say….Keep up the good work. Cause it gives me a great distraction from

  • Sunkissed404

    **Dead** at reading your response to you almost breaking it off with a chick because her house was (I had to ask)..Sand in bead? Roaches? Done….In college, I used to room with this chick who would get fly for class…Everyone dug her outfits, including myself…Until we roomed together. I. Was. Disgusted. She was a fashion design major and very trendy…. But, she never…Never washed her bedroom sheets. I remember this once, when she left to go home for the weekend, out of curiosity, I pulled her cover back…And I was gone!! There was a huge sweat/dirt/or grease stain just staring back at me!! Every time she had company over, I just wondered what the guys were thinking….lol Her Nasty Azz….

    And your response to you talking to a female living at home… Thank y0u for answering my question. My friends and I talk about this all the time. I just wanted to hear from another guy’s perspective.

  • Marc Evans

    I normally don’t post comments, but I seriously have to give you credit for being able to respectfully respond to some of the questions/comments/suggestions that you receive.

    If I don’t like where your blog of the day is going, I stop reading and continue on with my day. However, I’m definitely here the next day waiting to see what’s next because I usually always find them entertaining and end up sending the link to my friends. Keep up the good work.

    For question #1
    I’m sure you’re really a great person an all, but you just sound like some girl who didn’t make the cut. Feeling kind of angry? Sorry for ya, really. Fyi… his blogs normally say that he isn’t proud of some of the things he has done so no need to get all hot about it. You act like he’s bashing women or something. For the “8? more like 3” thing…. Why the insults? I can understand if he personally hurt you, however, that’s what email addresses are for. I don’t mean to be rude, but grow up.

    For suggestion #7
    When you visit this site do you have to enter your credit card number or something? I’ve been reading all these blogs for free so you must be doing something wrong. It’s fine you have a suggestion and it’s fine you don’t find everything entertaining, but who are you to call anything half ass? Unless you are paying him to write these, try keeping the ignorant comments to yourself. When you get a chance please send me the link to your website so I can read your daily blogs. Cause I’m sure that each and every single day you have something profound and interesting to share with all of us. I’m even more certain that every single person on Earth that has access to the internet will be your biggest fan.

  • Sunkissed404

    If I was in NY, I would definitely be coming to “The Modern Day Matchmaker” 🙁 You guys living up top, have fun… 🙁

  • Nadine
  • ChiCity

    “I don’t care if a man has all these things himself or not, the fact of the matter is, even though it may not turn him off if a woman doesn’t have something like her own place, it definitely turns him on if she does.”

    What’s so sad about this comment is a lot of women don’t even realize this fact…SOME women are too busy waiting in someon else’s wallet…

  • ChiCity


    There was a huge sweat/dirt/or grease stain just staring back at me!!


  • **inquiring mind**

    Naw… we definitely know who your ex is bruh. Definitely. *Kanye shrug*

  • **inquiring mind**

    that’s gross… ewwww *hold my nose* (lol)

  • Sunkissed404

    lol..I am so serious! I’ve never seen anything like it…. It was like I could see exactly where her body was when she went to sleep…Ick!!

  • Love Is Dope

    That 8/3 comment? Wow. Lots of tough typists out there. Very mature response.

  • Newbie

    Ur readers r a trip! Keep yo head up.
    8 is a good look.

  • http://yahoo namia

    nice that u keep your cool whether some one is rude or not… patience can be really thin at times