Home > c-section, Family, on something > Some Rambling Words From Uncle Jozen

Some Rambling Words From Uncle Jozen

Well folks, it’s official, I am now an uncle to a beautiful niece. Her name is Armoni (pronounced like the fashion label), and she came into this world on June 11, at something like 7 pounds, 21 inches.

My sister’s in great shape post-delivery, the father has stayed at the hospital with her every night, and our family couldn’t be happier. I know I couldn’t be happier. With Armoni in my family, my whole life has now changed for the better and now it’s time for Uncle Jozen to do everything he can for his only niece, but just as important, for his only sister too.

I was never an over-protective big brother, and to my sister, I don’t think I was ever the kind of brother she wanted to be like as she got older. If anything, my sister, much like me, wanted to prove there wasn’t only one definition of success, there were many, and she was about to define it on her own terms. My sister didn’t graduate from college like me, she didn’t play in a jazz band like me, she didn’t leave Seaside like me.

But in every way my sister’s life is different than mine, it is every reason I am proud of her. I don’t think she will ever realize how much I learn from her from afar. While I was always about my career first, my sister has always been about family, and though I love this big city life I live, my sister’s small city life looks just as good.

While I moved across the United States to go to college just so I could say I made it out of my hometown. The furthest she moved from home was  two hours north to Hayward, California to go to college just so she could be closer to our favorite uncle, Uncle Jeff. I have had more girlfriends than I can count. My sister has had like three boyfriends, and the one she’s with now, she’s been with for something like three or four years. I have close to 2,000 friends on Facebook. My sister has like 12.

The simplicity of my sister’s life is just as rich as the very complicated one I have created for myself, and every now and then, when things get hectic over here on my side of the map, I think about her and wonder why I can’t do what she has done.

My sister may be three year’s my junior, but when it comes to wisdom, she’s definitely my senior. She is more ready to be a mother than any person I know, and now, after all these years of me helping her grow up, my sister will teach me how to grow up. She is going to show me, through her own methodology, just how to be a person who puts family first, even if I’m thousands of miles away from them. For once, I’m ready to follow her lead instead of telling her to follow mine.

When I talked to my sister after she delivered the baby, I told her all I wanted to do was be a great uncle the way our uncles have been great to us and, because she was groggy and tired (I called her at 7 a.m. her time), she only said, “You will.” And like others told me when I wrote my post on Unclehood after I first found out my sister was pregnant, being a great uncle is something we grow into. But in order to grow into my role, I have to grow up a little, and though I have no idea what that means and how that will play out, I know what I want to do.

I know I want to be a man my family is proud of not because of what I accomplish outside of it, but what I do inside of it as well. I want to be a great uncle, and a better older brother. And if I don’t accomplish anything else in life, so be it, just let me accomplish those things, is the prayer I have been saying as of late.

This is me, honestly, rambling, and not having a clue as to what to do first. So I’ll end here, and go back to tossing around in my head what it means to be a great uncle. In the meantime, I know I have asked a lot of you all to do this before, but let me ask again: Share your best uncle stories in the comments for me please. The last time I made this request (here’s the link again, in case you missed it up top: “Unclehood“) , a lot of you did such a beautiful job I still go back and read them to this day, but I want to hear more, because I have no idea what I’m doing and I could use the guidance.

Thanks in advance,

Uncle Jozen.

Categories: c-section, Family, on something Tags:
  • B

    make sure everytime the ice cream truck comes you get her whatever she wants! 😉

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    My uncle always jokes around with me and I loved it. We always had a running joke and made up stories. Now this did make my cousin jealous but it was great for me. I know my boys adore their uncle when he chases them around the house as soon as he walks through the door. Then regress to 5 year olds and he and they, both love it. Since you live far away you’ll probably be toting gifts every time you see her and trust she will remember every single one, especially if you take some special time with her when you give it to her. I still have a doll my uncle gave to me 20 years ago and I remember everything about the day when he handed it to me, picked me up and spun me around and told me I was his little ball of sunshine. I miss him.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • Theryl

    My uncles always protected me. Whether it was from my mother cuz she was going to whip my behind, or from the big bad world, their protection was there. It didn’t help to be “baby girl” to them either. :)

  • http://acceptonlythebest.blogspot.com Tierra

    Awwww, she shares my birthday!

  • http://acford.blogspot.com A.C. Ford

    I grew up without a father in the home, no older brother, and one my grandfather’s 4 hours away and the other is the biggest pothead you’ll ever meet. My mother has all sister’s so my uncles have always been their husbands. I had never been particularly close to any of my uncles until my Aunt Tammie married my Uncle Geoff when I was twelve. He never spoiled me, but he was always there when I needed him and that made me FEEL spoiled. Last summer he pulled me aside at a family gathering and said “If no one else ever tells you, I’m so proud of you for going to school and being a good woman.” Having a man who loves you say that he is proud of you may not mean much to some people. For me, in that moment, it meant the world.

    Be that kind of uncle, Jozen. The kind of uncle us young woman deserve.

  • SistahChef

    I come from a family of mostly females, so my “Uncles” are my Uncles-in-law, who despite not being blood Uncles; have been more of a father to me than my own father. My Uncles have always simply been there for me, No MATTER What!

    I’ll never forget the day I called my Aunt’s house and my Aunt answered the phone and I said hello, and asked her could I speak to my Uncle. In retrospect, I think I must have done it frequently, because my Aunt replied that she’s beginning to feel like the “in-law” when I called. I stopped and thought about what she said, and I told her that when I was growing up and called her to ask for anything (to come over and do something), she would say no, maybe some other time. But, whenever I ask my Uncle, he would always say sure, Baby Girl, whatever need / whatever you want to do.

    It’s that assurance Jozen, that you will be there for her “whatever” she needs that makes one a Great Uncle. My Uncle is in his sixties now, and I am in my forties, and when I call, I can still hear the smile in his voice. Matter of fact, I think I will call him now… :-)

  • http://blackdiamond2008.blogspot.com A.Smith

    I had 7 uncles. 4 of them are still living.

    One of my uncles lived with my mom and I my entire life (and even before). Why? Well partly because it was a setup that worked and partly because he promised my grandmother that he would watch after her (my mom is the baby).

    I just learned the latter recently — while I was home for his funeral.

    I hadn’t ever thought about life without Uncle James because he had always been there. Literally. Even when I thought about how he was getting older and about him dying it never quite clicked with me that his death would mean he wouldn’t be…there…like he’d always been, anymore. The last time I saw him was Easter weekend. These days when I go home I don’t see him because our schedules are so different. I saw him a lot that weekend because he was in the hospital. I didn’t know that when I got home and found myself locked out of the house and unable to reach my mom, so I called him. Obviously when he picked up he told me where he was (he’d also been trying to find my mom because he needed someone to bring him clothes) and I told him my problem. 20 minutes later, a car pulls into the driveway. He called someone to the hospital, gave them his key and sent them to me. I stood there like… this man is in the hospital but he’s worried about me.

    I say all that to say that I think one aspect of a good Uncle is that he’s there. Just there. I think you’ll fall into it just fine, Jozen, without a whole lot of pushing and prodding.

  • mimi

    LMAO! Awwww well I have some great uncles and I’m a great aunt. My favorite uncle is my favorite because of how he looks at me. He’s always so proud. In a family full of girls he always hears the family news and sits on it. He waits until it’s just he and I and will say something like “So I heard you mom say you…. sista… how’s that going?” And once, when I was like 5 I was under the mistletoe and didn’t kow what that really was and he told me and said close your eyes and it just happens. And I did… and he kissed me and went back to cookig before I caught him. I said “YOU KISSED ME!” He said “NO i didn’t… It just happens… its that quick.” LMAO… but my family really had me thinking santa was real FOR REAL FOR REAL! But its little things like that.

    Being an uncle will show you how you’ll be as a parent if you’re close enough to your niece. My niece has shown me that I don’t need a child– until I learn yoga, become buddhist, something. I’m one of those overprotective, will blow up a school if my baby is bulled kind of parents/aunts. In fact, I left class early in high school, called my niece’s elementary school and threatened to file a 51A on the principal and snatch this little girl off the bus if they didn’t stop her from taunting my niece. “If it happens again you better have the police and her mother at the school by the time I get there.” :) I have one of those well behaved, never wants to be in trouble, always happy nieces. So yes, I over spend money on her, and I will go to jail if anyone tries to steal her innocence. I school her of what type of girl she NEVER wants to be, “lazy, dependant and stupid” and just pray for the best. I hurt her feelings every now and then because it’s needed. I don’t sugar coat because these new generation children are an entirely different breed. She’s 15 now and thank god she’s still a CHILD.. not grown, not flip. Shes a child. God has blessed me. So its good that you are a new uncle… it’lls how you what kind of parent you’ll end up being.

  • http://www.thechicagosupperclub.com Alana

    This is really sweet you gotta read this to her one day..and I hope ur sister reads it to.

  • Newbie

    My great uncle Marshall was the best- his pet name for me was doodlebug.
    He saved me from many a whippings from my aunt. We watched WWE, the A-team & hulk together. Low-key he might of wanted a boi…lol.
    My uncle Nate wld come over Christmas day and play all my new games with me & let win until I got older & learned how to cheat. He was the best kid ever since I was the only child.
    Last but not least my uncle Dean- Since my father was absentee my uncle Dean wld show up to all my father/ daughter days at school.
    Yeah Jozen being a uncle is major my friend but u will rock it out.
    It’s easier nowdays to be influential even though u r miles apart!

  • Miss. Riss

    First, I would like to say how great it is you can see the beauty in her life, even if it is so different from yours. Often times, we think what we’re doing is so great, we fail to see the greatness in the lives of others.

    I do not have a great uncle story, because I’m not close to any of my uncles. HOWEVER, my dad is a great uncle to all of my cousins. So I can see it from a different angle. My dad was the one who taught me and all of my cousins how to ride a bike and drive a car. And while I hated the experience at the time, I later realized that my dad was teaching me these things, but he was also playing the role of dad to my cousins and teaching them the same things, because their dads weren’t around to show them.

    My dad was also the one who took us out for the fun things, roller skating, random trips to Rye Playland and Dorney Park.

    When I was younger I didn’t like being the daughter, cause I was the one who had to act right, while everyone could act out a little cause they were away from thier parent. But now I give my dad so much credit for stepping in as an uncle and doing the things that my cousins dads should have been doing, while being a dad to me as well.

  • Sunkissed404

    Hmmmm….My favorite uncle always talked to me about boys…What to expect. When to walk away..when to let it ride…Ya know. He kept me up on my toes..So I wouldn’t be “that girl” that let guys run over her. My other uncle would alway bring me gifts from his long stays in Iraq or Kuwait. When I was like 14, he brought me a Cartouche..and I loved it!

  • MsQuiMarie

    To be a great uncle to your niece always be the shoulder she can cry on and the ear she can vent to when she can’t go to her parents. Encourage her to do/be the best that she can do/be. Spoil her because she is your only niece. Always be honest with her even if the truth hurts, she will appreciate it in the long run. Make your presence know whether you are there physically or not. Tell her she is beautiful and that you are proud of her every chance you get. My uncles have done all of the above and much more and I’m extremely grateful for it. Be the best you that you can be and she will love you for it:) Congratulations on your new adventure of being an uncle.

  • NIC

    I did not share the last time you requested “uncle stories,” because I am a bit of a lurker. This post touched me more than the last, so here goes…

    I come from a huge family, my mother is 1 of 13 and my father is 1 of 5. I have plenty of uncles and they have taught me great things. The one thing I can say about all of my uncles, they teach more by example than through direct “talks.”

    Growing up as a child of the military, my immediate family unit was strong–and my parents were overprotective. Summer vacas were spent back in Brooklyn (no matter where we were stationed). I can remember my favorite uncle just being real. To this day, he is the realest–save my father and brother–man I’ve known. He is down for his family, hard- (and smart) working, reliable, and responsive to his loved ones’ needs. When I was younger, I loved him for the birthday calls (while I was on the other side of the globe), the trips to the beach with his family, etc. I now love him because he is a great example of a man and is a strong piece of fabric in his local community.

    Loved your rambling.

  • Ashleigh

    Oh. My.God. This is my life! I recently became an aunt and me and share the same sentiments about my sister. I never had a relationship with any of my uncles but I think you are off to a great start with this blog post. Congrats, Uncle Jozen!

  • E-Dub

    Congratulations Jozen! Go to http://www.scholarshare.com (or something like it) and get her a college fund started! $50 dollars a month, backed by the state, and appreciating like a mug in 18 years…..

  • HoneyMoney

    congrats!

  • http://www.my28cents.com My 28 Cents

    Congrats Jozen.
    I don’t really know my uncles or aunts very well, however, I am like a father to my 6 soon to be 7 yrs old nephew. It wasn’t intentional, but he’s turned into my very own mini-me.

    My advice is to be around and be available for your sister and niece. While your niece is still young the main thing to do is just help out your sister however you can. Once she’s older, take her out and spend time with her. Don’t let her get away with stuff, yet be a friend at the same time. Years from now she’ll be telling stories about her favorite Uncle Jozen.

    It’s normal for you to not know what to do yet, but I guarantee it will all fall in place as time goes by.

  • http://facebook.com/yesip621 Yesi Jukebox

    Congratulations on being an uncle! I know how excited you are because I am going to be an aunt myself very soon. I think you have an advantage over me in the fact that you are the only uncle (at least on the mother’s side) but I have to compete with my sister for the role of best auntie (from the father’s side).

    What made my favorite Aunt so great to me was that she spent time with me. She was motherly but not in a commanding way, she made me feel comfortable enough to talk to her as a friend and ask her for advice. Unfortunately we don’t live in the same country but when I do see her again we know we are each other’s favorites so things just resume where they were left off.

    I think you are going to be a great Uncle as long as you don’t try too hard and just be yourself. She’s going to feel that you love her, and that will make her comfortable with you. And I have to agree with the above, be strict but also be a friend. She will appreciate it.

  • **inquiring mind**

    I had so much written about my favorite aunt and it got erased when I opened another program #spent… here’s the gist… have a good balance of love and lesson and the rest will come out in the wash… you’re gonna be fine.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ MadScientist7

    i’m now an uncle 4 times over. my older sister (+8 1/2 years) had my first nephew 7 years ago and i was so happy at the addition to our family. most of our extended family still lives in nigeria so for the most part it was just our immediate family. when my younger brother had my favorite little girl in the world, Ayonna, i was happy all over again. even though everyone started side-eying me because my younger brother had a child and i didn’t. my sister has added another nephew and niece to my life and i’m so happy at all the young ones. i can play with them, buy them gifts and love them all without having to have children of my own.

  • SistahChef

    Jozen, as you can see the most common characteristic of an Uncle, is to simply ‘Be there’ for your niece! I recommend you start saving your change so that when her recitals, kindergarten graduation, etc comes around, you’ll be there.

    I’m a good Aunt, and I still think about the time I drove down to Memphis for a play my nephew was in. He was only four at the time, but he made sure to interrupt the applause at the end of the performance to have his teacher thank his Aunt for coming from out of town for his play. My niece and nephews know that all they have to do is call me up and I am there for them!

  • Let’s be real

    Hmmm…my advice to you, JUST BE THERE!! Whether you are 3,000 miles away from her, or up the block, let her know that you love her and you’re always there for her.

    It sounds simple, and I think it is, but it will mean the world to her. This comes from a girl who, at one point, had 5 uncles, but doesn’t even have any of their phone numbers…

    My mom’s brothers both passed away when I was younger..i think as an adult, I would have been closer to the two of them. My father’s brothers are still living in AZ, and my only contact with them was if I happened to pick up the phone when they called for my dad. Recently, my sister has been in contact with them, but because my father has been sick..but I still haven’t talked to any of them…It’s really sad…

    But I say all of that to say…just be there and love her, and let her know you do…

    I know she’s just a couple days old, but when she’s old enough to have a cell phone, your number should be on speed dial!

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

    I’ve been an aunt since I was 6 years old (it’s what happens when your sisters are 14 years older than you). I had my first nephew by my half-sister (same father only) and since we were closer in age, he was more my friend than my nephew. It’s kinda how I feel by my other sister’s daughter (she had her when I was 8), I was still a child. Since then, I’ve welcomed 1 more niece and 2 more nephews (one of which is only 3 years old and my effing weakness). Sure, being an aunt is defined in the dictionary, but it’s not that generic. It’s all about experience. It’s your greatest knowledge tool.

    I don’t wanna compare it to being a mother because it’s definitely not the same, but the concept of “you just know” applies here too. It’s what folks say to new mothers when they’re a walking bucket of questions. There’s no wrong or right way to be Uncle Jozen, they just ask that you’re…Jozen. Much luck with your unclehood and I truly hope you have fun…because it most certainly will be.

  • Sunkissed404

    Oh yeah…and he also fixed my car every time it broke down too…So yeah..Just be there.

  • cyt_grl

    Congratulations…Show her how a man is supposed to treat her. Make her feel like she’s special and no one can tell her or treat her otherwise.
    ***Side note… I’m an aunt myself. And my niece and nephew are the greatest joys of my life. I love them to pieces! I try to be there when their parents are not and show them things that they haven’t seen before. I think my role is to make sure the kids are cultured! I recetly took them to the arts and science museum and my niece (7) said she had never been to a museum before. I was like wtf is that? Yeah so I have a big job ahead of me.

  • **inquiring mind**

    yeah one more thing… I really hope you’ve already made plans to get out there asap, if not re-read the comments above i.e. BE THERE!

  • 05girl

    :/ I had no uncles. My dad had sisters, my mom has a sister, and we didn’t grow up around family. My mom’s sister did marry and so he’s the only Uncle I had, but I think it’s probably different from a direct-blood uncle. I got one:

    Let your niece stay with you & your future wife for at least one summer, or longer, potentially rent free while she gets her life together.

  • http://rewritingthehilife.blogspot.com mel

    I grew up with my dad in and out of my life. Finances were iffy for college and so I entered a lot of pageants to pay for school. My dad lived on the east coast (VA) while I lived in Hawaii. My dad has never been able to attend any of my pageants but my Uncle Orie has always been there…at every single pageant. Win or lose, he was always there. He always hugged me and told me that I did a great job after every pageant. However, when I won the Miss Oahu title, he hugged me and told me the same thing…”You did a great job.” However at that very moment, I felt as if I truly did him proud and that all of his encouragement and sarifices of just letting me know that he was there (whether win or lose and in whatever I pursued) did not go to waste.

  • L. Dejean

    Congrats Jozen!

    I don’t have any really great uncle stories because even though i saw mine, i didn’t see or hear from them often enough. I did go to my uncle through marriage’s Alma Mater (The University of Alabama) and he came with my fam (my aunt & 2 cousins) to see me & we went to ATL for the weekend so i could get away from campus my freshman year. I even ended up in the same room in the same dorm that he stayed in so he shared a lot of those memories from his time there.

    I think part of being a great uncle is to call her up and let her know that you are thinking of her and that you love her. Since you write, i would suggest writing her letters, something her mom can collect for her so that when she is old enough to read, she can read them and truly know that no matter how far you are away from her, you thought of her and love her (her mom can read them to her). When she can talk, call her at least every few weeks so she can hear your voice & get to know you, especially if you are unable to visit any time soon. I think that is important as well.

    Unfortunately, my child(ren) won’t have an uncle (i only have a sister and we really aren’t that close) but hopefully, my sister will be a good enough aunt to them that it won’t matter that they don’t have one from my side of the family. I don’t know who i’m going to end up with in the future so i have no clue if that person will have a brother or brothers…but i guess my child(ren) will have play uncles (i was raised to call every close adult male like my father’s best friends & next door neighbor “uncle” anyway) and i hope that they will be as great of uncles as you will be.

  • http://lipstickonpaper.blogspot.com Lipstick on Paper

    Congratulations! It’s a beautiful thing to want to be a better person for someone we love. What better inspiration is there?

    The best example of an Uncle I have seen is my fiance, who is dedicated to being a role model to his two younger nephews (10 and 14). Beyond his usual uncle duties of taking the boys out to play, giving school advice, visiting every week, he makes it a point to coach them in basketball – primarily as a method of life training. Between drills and taking them out to the courts, he uses it as the opportunity to relate the sport to a strong work ethic, the drive to succeed and improve, and to be a team player. No lectures, nagging – just the simple method of driving the lesson home through tangible experience.

    I’m sure there are other ways to do this… but what strikes me as inspiring about my fiance’s style is his intentionality. He tells me simply that he wants to lead by example; one day when his nephews grow up to be uncles to our own children – he’d want them to be as engaged and motivating as he was with them. It’s like watching an Uncle provide training to future Uncles in the making.

    Hope this gives you a bit of insight as to the type of Uncle you’d like to become. So long as your intention is coming from a place of love, I don’t think there’s a wrong way to lead.

  • monique

    i happen to have a real wench of an aunt on my mom’s side….she’s very unaffectionate and cold. when i was little she had NO IDEA about how to deal with kids and so she never wanted to hold me (cuz of fear she wouldn’t “do it right”) and would always get me the lamest gifts for christmas and my birthday. she would get me gifts like insect books and complicated triangular puzzles…u know the fancy over priced stuff u can get at like an educational bookstore.

    my uncle bob on the other hand, her live-in boyfriend….he was another story. even though he wasn’t blood related to me i still considered him my uncle just because he was more uncle-ish to me than she was aunt-ish (if that makes sense). Uncle bob always got me the coolest gifts to try to make up for lame gifts he knew my aunt was gonna give me. for example that christmas when she gave me that horrible arithmetic puzzle my uncle bob got me the cutest most fluffy real looking stuffed dog. she was adorable and i loved her to pieces. he even named her for me and told me a little bit about her (of course he was making this up, but when you’re dealing w/ a kid ingenuity can take you a long way). when it came to holiday dinners and things like that, uncle bob always made it a point to sit me on his lap and turn in to a horsie or choo choo train or something awesome. when he found out from my mom that i was starting to really get in to reading he even got me a teddy ruxpin. teddy ruxpin was dope! especially compared to the lame magnifying gift set i got from my aunt that same year.

    i guess what i’m trying to say is that little things like a cool toy and paying attention to the kid’s own unique interests and abilities are important. tap in to that and foster it. not every girl is going to be in to barbies and makeup and like to play dress up. make sure you get to know your niece and all her little idiosyncrasies and you should make a terrific uncle :) congratulations!

  • http://www.invincibleatl.blogspot.com VIN

    When I was growing up my pops was there but he might as well been absent. I remember telling my mom that I wished my uncle (her brother) was my dad instead. She beat my ass for that one. Unfortunately, we lived across country from most of my family so I didn’t really get to know my uncles until I was grown. To this day, I sit with these dudes and discuss everything in life. Nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. I don’t have any nieces or nephews but plenty of little cousins that I try to mentor in the way I wished my father would have done for me. Congrats to your family for the new addition. Just give her love, man.

  • Nadira Rae

    My favorite uncle (who’s also my siblings’ favorite uncle), is my Uncle Buddy. He’s my dad’s older brother and they’re really close so he’s always around. Growing up, I just remember him having the COOLEST board games and puzzles (we went WILD over Dungeons and Dragons), and the largest movie library of anyone I know (he doesn’t really watch tv). We’d go on family outings like camping trips and concerts (I distinctly remember a Hall and Oates outdoor summer concert where it was pouring down raining and we were sitting in a field getting soaking wet…but for some reason it was fun…maybe because I was like 8). Anway lol….he was just always there. He helped my dad move me back home from college (NC to Philly…no small task); he helped us move me into my first…and second place. He helped my dad clean the yard and set up for my 30th birthday bbq.

    He’s fun, free-spirited, exposed us to different things, and is always present.

  • Nadira Rae

    My favorite uncle (who’s also my siblings’ favorite uncle), is my Uncle Buddy. He’s my dad’s older brothcer and they’re really close so he’s always around. Growing up, I just remember him having the COOLEST board games and puzzles (we went WILD over Dungeons and Dragons), and the largest movie library of anyone I know (he doesn’t really watch tv). We’d go on family outings like camping trips and concerts (I distinctly remember a Hall and Oates outdoor summer concert where it was pouring down raining and we were sitting in a field getting soaking wet…but for some reason it was fun…maybe because I was like 8). Anway lol….he was just always there. He helped my dad move me back home from college (NC to Philly…no small task); he helped us move me into my first…and second place. He helped my dad clean the yard and set up for my 30th birthday bbq.

    He’s fun, free-spirited, exposed us to different things, and is always present.

  • http://www.teaandsuch.blogspot.com Tea

    This is beautiful, not just your love of a new life and your first trip into unclehood, but your acknowledgement that different lifestyles are indeed, beautiful. I shared my uncle stories in the other post, but seriously, just be you and available (even from miles away). That’s why we love our uncles so much. They are themselves and in our lives.

  • Mischa

    Being a great uncle is also about remembering the little things. I had an uncle who lived in another country who would never forget my birthday. Every birthday I got a big ol’ bday card with a cheque in it! It meant alot to me that he remembered.
    An uncle can also have alot of influence on kids. I stopped sucking my thumb when I was 9 years old because said uncle told me he was coming to visit and didnt want to see any thumbsuckers! That was all it took. This after years of my mom and dad trying all kindsa crazy methods to get me to stop.
    You’ll be a good uncle Jozen, because you have already put your mind to it.

  • afro

    reading this a few days after you posted. in fact i am reading it on Tupac’s bday. my point is, all things tupac remind me of my uncle who died 9 years ago. we had a good relationship. he mostly teased me & picked on me, but i adored him and i often wonder how our relationship would’ve matured if he was still alive. but one of my fondest memories of him, is him always walking into the room, no matter what i was doing & saying, “i got keys coming from overseas. cost a nigga 200 g’s.” he would say this all the time… i’d ask a question, “Uncle Wee (Willis), do you want me to bring you something to eat?” His reply, “Yeah, cuz I got keys…etc..” He was our family comedian! In fact, I named by 7 year old after him & he has so many of his qualities to have never met him. I miss my uncle a lot. You will be a great uncle. Neices & Uncles have a special relationship! I treasue every great memory I have with mine. Enjoy Armoni! God bless. Peace!

  • Cheryl

    I had many aunts and uncles as my dad is one of 9 and my mom is one of 12. But the one I remember most is my godfather – my dad’s brother. I didn’t see him all the time, but from the time I was very little, I knew he paid particular attention to me. When I was 5 he gave me a $5 bill…I was not impressed so he “traded” it with me for a handful of change and I was on top of the world.

    And when I was 6 he got me the sneakers my mother would never buy. They were black “boys” sneakers. Because I told him I just KNEW I could run faster if I had those. lol

    I didn’t realize until he died 2 years ago that I was one of a dozen godchildren that he had. I always thought I was the only one…because he made me feel that way.

    Don’t worry – you’ll be great!

    C.

  • citygirl22

    My niece (6 y.o.) and nephew (3 y.o.) have been the greatest joys in my life. Watching them grow, having the opportunity to witness their milestones, to teach them and play with them, to love and spoil and protect them, just enriches me beyond belief. It’s also, I think, the best practice I could possibly have for the day that I become a mother.

    I have a particularly special bond with my niece, because I am her only aunt. So I make a point of doting on her– bringing gifts, cooking her favorite meals (she calls me “auntie chef”), taking her shopping, having girl talks, and just being silly with her.

    Several years ago, while we were at dinner with my brother and his in-laws, my niece requested that I take her to the bathroom. As I was helping her wash her hands, several patrons using the restroom commented on how beautiful my niece was. I simply said “thank you,” content to have them believe that she was my daughter. My niece, in typical fashion of a toddler claiming everything and everyone around her, promply “outed” me, exclaiming, “that’s MY auntie!”

    I’ve always wanted a family of my own, but that moment marked the first time in my life I’d ever felt the pang of NOT having one. I am sure that I will have many more of these pangs in my role as auntie to these sweet, dynamic, remarkable children. I’ll roll with it, and just wait for my own blessings to come. Because I wouldn’t trade being an aunt for ANYTHING in this world.

    Congrats Jozen… enjoy every possible minute of it!

  • Violet

    LOVE, it is what it is. My uncles have it for me and I have it for them. Seen in the looks we exchange, felt in the tenderness of each hug and kiss. There’s an unspoken bond we share, one that is unshakeable and unending. A bond uniquely forged through time in each other’s presence. This is the most important gift you must give Miss Armoni-your presence, your company, your closeness. See her, touch her, kiss her as soon as possible, as often as possible. When you can’t vist, call, WRITE, send…. Find a way to be present in her life. Love her fiercely, intentionally, unconditionally and she will always feel like she’s your favorite girl.

    Congraturlations to you and your family!

  • PYT

    I think that since you are asking and wanting to be a great uncle that is already a great step in the right direction. Most don’t begin with that thought process so you are years ahead of them