Just Because I Want To Sleep With You, Doesn’t Mean I’m Disrespectful
A couple of months ago, I wrote a post entitled, “The Ultimate Compliment”. In it, I attempted to make a case for sex being the highest form of praise one person can give to another. Far as I’m concerned, if someone digs me so much they actually want to see and feel me without any clothes on, than they must really, really dig me. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the simple comment about my topwear (“Nice hat”) but will she take me home in the hat? No? Then she only means it so much, but I digress…
I realize my hypothesis above is a bit of a stretch. Sometimes sex isn’t a compliment at all, but maybe an act of obligation or even an act of redemption. Each encounter must be evaluated (if we want to bother with such things) in context because sex is a lot of things. But I know what it isn’t. Sex, as far as I’m concerned, is never disrespectful. Nor is my desire to want to have sex with a woman disrespectful.
For longtime readers, bare with me if you feel like I’m repeating myself. I probably am, but I’m sorry, some women still seem to think just because all I want to do is have sex with them, it means I don’t respect all the other great things they offer. And frankly, that’s not even remotely the case.. I just don’t care about what else they have to offer at the time I want to have sex with them.
If there’s one thing I hate is when a woman with whom I express a desire to have sex paints me as someone who doesn’t respect her in full or looks at me as being not being respectful of a friendship. To me, this is not only one of the most off-base things a woman can think, it’s a perfect example of how some (please notice I said some) women have a tendency to misinterpret the actions of men.
There are three type of women I know. There are the women I have slept with and will more than likely sleep with again or probably already have. There are the women I haven’t slept with yet, but given the right opportunity I most definitely would. And there are the women who I have never thought about sleeping with at all and would twist my nose up at the mere thought of such a thing, let alone even try.
Now that we have that out of the way, let me tell all you women out there which group you don’t want to be in. I’ll let you guess no I won’t, THE LAST ONE.
I mean, come on. Even if the woman has no desire to sleep with me at all, why would she want me to put her in the same category I put family in, especially when she isn’t family? As I have said before, just because a man can have a hour long conversation with a woman about non-sexual things doesn’t mean he respects her mind anymore than the man who makes his sexual desires clear from the beginning. Trust me, I adore a woman who graduated from college magma cum laude, but I also want to take those ropes they give out to all magma cum laude members and tie her up in them. How is any of that disrespectful? Maybe if I start telling women they can replace their lingerie with a whole bunch of paraphernalia they bought from their college bookstore, they would understand I like their mind, but right now “mind” isn’t on my menu and if it is, take it off! Tonight, I want the body for the entree and if there is room afterward, the “mind” for dessert (excuse the food analogy, I’m writing hungry.)
The only thing the man who doesn’t want to sleep with a woman and never expresses a desire to is respecting is the woman’s feelings because he’s holding back the real reason he isn’t making a move, which is this: He doesn’t find her attractive. And if that is disrespectful, I apologize, but someone had to say it.
Some (again, please notice I said some, not all) women don’t have a convoluted sense of self so much as they have a convoluted sense of men. If the cute, sexy friend she has isn’t taking advantage of their friendship by making a move, she thinks something is wrong with him, like, you know, he’s gay. If the okay looking, but very smart and funny friend does take advantage of their friendship by making a pass or two at her, there’s something wrong with him too, like, you know, he’s disrespectful just like all those other guys. And she can’t believe he would do such a thing.
Well, she needs to start believing such things and stop believing a guy is just like all the other guys just because he wants to stretch the definition of friendship.
He’s not like all the other guys out there because not all the other guys out there want her, case in point: Her cute, sexy friend who probably needs a platonic female friend with whom he can talk about other females he does want to get with. Both men — the man who won’t make a move and the man who will — have the same level of respect for a woman, it’s just one wants to do a little bit more than the otherl, and if I were her, I’d give that friend way more credit. After all, he means no disrespect.