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Five More New Acts of Chivalry

Remember when I wrote a blog back in January, entitled “5 New Acts of Chivalry”? For those of you who weren’t around back then or forgot, you can read the post here.

Obviously, chivalry is a pretty big thing for me. I remember my high school years when my Mom was dating, and she told me about a man with whom she went to dinner.

When she came home from the date, I asked her how it was and she told me about how when she got up to go to the restroom, her date stood up, and as she came back to the table, he stood up again. She told me it made her smile because it had been so long since a man did such a thing; that it was an old school gesture she appreciated.

Well, I may not do a great job of standing up when a woman uses the restroom (I try to, but easily forget), but generally, I do know a thing or two about chivalry. So here we go, five more new acts of chivalry for the modern day man to follow.

WAKE UP BEFORE HER

There’s something about a woman waking up before me that doesn’t sit right with me. I think it’s because when I was growing up, my Pop was always the first one up in the house, and he would wake me up too, but never my sister. Looking back, I guess the idea was, “The men work, let the women sleep.” But I don’t know. What I do know is whenever a woman gets up before me (it rarely happens, but I’m not perfect), I feel a little behind, and a little uncomfortable. Like she just sat there for a half hour and watched me sleep, judging the hell out of me.

Hold Her Bags

All these women with all these bags, I don’t get it, but whatever. Give me the gym bag, the Victoria’s Secret bag, the grocery bag with the walking shoes in it. I’ll hold them all looking like I’m making a trip to the recycle. The only thing I won’t hold is a purse and most women who date me are made aware of this up front. As a matter of fact, if there is a woman reading this who I dated and whose purse I held, I told you I liked you.

Give An Opinion On That Outfit She’s Trying On

Whenever I go shopping with a woman, there are three things I do. The first is bring some sort of reading material with me to help pass the time as she tries clothes on. The second is I always go to the men’s section first without her to browse on my own, leave her alone for a little while. The third thing I do is go to her dressing room and try to get a quickie in (just kidding about the quickie part (just kidding about the just kidding part)). But I do try to give her an honest opinion about the clothes she tries on if she’s asking. I figure since I’m not buying her the outfit (usually), the least I could do is steer in the right direction of a good purchase.

Order Something She Would Like To Try

The only rule I have about ordering food at a restaurant is I try to avoid ordering anything I can make on my own and anything vegetarian. Once I distinguish those items, it’s open season on the menu and because I’m very open minded about the things I eat, I always ask my date what she’s having. If she’s deciding between two items, I’ll order one of them so she can take a bite. Also, if she’s allergic to something like shellfish, I don’t order the lobster. What kind of jerk would do such a thing?

The First Sip of Water

Anyone remember the scene in Love Jones where Darius is walking back into the living room with a wine cooler after he and Nina just finished knockin’ the boots? (Can we bring ‘knockin’ the boots’ back into the lexicon?) I always find it hilarious how he took this long swig of the drink, then looks at her kind of surprised and says, “Oh did you want one?” Of course she wanted one, you big old pimp, you!

Anyway, I bring up the scene because in real life, if a man is really considerate, he’s giving the woman the first sip of water or whatever other beverage he brings out of the refrigerator after sex. At the very least, he should take a sip in the kitchen first, out of her line of vision, then fill the glass up again and come back out. Let him do what Darius did, and in real life, the girl is getting up with mad attitude, yelling rhetorical questions like, “You’re just going to drink that right in front of me?” So yeah, she gets the first sip, but just a sip! Drink the whole glass and we’re going to have a problem.

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  • Tamia W

    I Love this post … I do believe in this day chivalry is dead… I have had a man tell me he doesn’t open doors or stand up when a woman enters a room because we are in the “Miss Independent” Era… And “If she doesn’t need me to help pay her bills or take care of her then why do I have to open the door… she can do it herself”… SMH This man was a close friend of mine and of course I let him have it and I explained to him just because she has a good job and makes her own money doesn’t make her a man !!! And she should not be treated as such … I told him if you are a gentleman then act like one and treat your woman like a lady…. Once again LOVE THE POST KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK…

  • Sunkissed404

    LMAO..Wait, wait… I couldn’t even get through the first act without lmbo. Too funny!.. However, I can see where you’re going with it tho. My dad beats everyone up…and he has done that for years. It gives me the feeling that he’s watching over the family, which is probably an innate feeling in “men”…. I like that you feel some kind of way about letting your company wake up before you.

  • Sunkissed404

    Cracking up at this list..Cute!

  • **inquiring mind**

    “try to get a quickie in (just kidding about the quickie part (just kidding about the just kidding part))”- smh lol

    I will say this… that whole ordering thing is major my dude… it’s the difference between a 7 and a 9 (I kid you not)… it shows consideration (HobDragon I’m looking at you) which is ultimately what we want in a man and we definitely take notice. This was a good one Jozen… with all your “hey, take your mind off” talk yesterday *side eye* who knew you knew that? *shrug*

  • dbaby11

    this post was just as cute as the first! i am intrigued by the way your mind works… oh and for the record, dressing room quickie(two thumbs up)!!

  • afro

    as always, love the “5 things…” lists!

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ MadScientist7

    good list. i don’t care. if i’m tired i’m going to sleep as long as i need to. especially on weekends. weekdays i’m usually up at 5am anyway, so unless she’s a vampire she won’t get up before me.

  • Anthony

    Of course the women would love this. I think this list should have been a list for a woman to know a true man because a Man’s man would not only make it so that a woman can better enjoy being a woman he will be able to offer an exclusive opinion on what looks nice on her, considering I would hope a woman would want a man who is particular in the woman he goes for because he has a check list on what make a woman unique in his eyes. A good man knows a woman better than she knows her self and does not take advantage of that. As long as you are appreciating the way he puts your best interest before his own he will give you the world. These “5 Acts” aint even the appetizer its just the aroma coming out of the restaurant intriguing your mind into wanting to go see what they have on the menu.

  • mimi

    LMAO cute list. What funny is, it is MAJOR points for any man who lets me sleep. Thats one thing i love about my someone special… he WILL NOT let ANYYYYONE wake me. If I fall asleep in the car or whatever and his annoying friends wanna say hi, while I’m sleep I can hear him yelling “DONT!!!!! wake her up.” LMAO hahahaahahaha. I love that… and in the morning– he takes his noisy a** upstairs and makes all his noise. Lovely.

    Holding the bags is a biggie. If you’re the boyfriend and I have to do something quick, the purse should be an option… but no woman should make her man walk around holding her purse. That’s extra.

  • Miss. Riss

    I LOVE the Love Jones reference. My favorite movie ever.

    Love the post, gives me something to look for when dating.

    And although you never comment on your comments, I wanted to let you know that I actually listened to your post about how women should hit on a guy and how we should stop saying hi and ask a question. Well, I said Hi and asked a question, and ended up with a first date this week. So…thanks!

  • http://www.ashy2classy.net Darryl Frierson

    I thought the game was to be sold not told…lol!! nah J/K. Good jewels you dropped here

  • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

    nice list. I’m going to adopt your restaurant policy also. I think I subconsciously already have. the first sip one was cute–I usually go get the drink, and I surely do take a swig in the kitchen. LOL.

  • HoneyMoney

    YES! We do need to bring back “knockin’ boots”! BC its AWESOME.

    I would never let a man hold my purse. That is crazy! I don’t even want to date a man who is OK with holding my purse…I mean hold it for a sec if I’m doing something but not walking around like I can’t carry my own purse…geeeez I see it happen all the time too!

    Funny, I always ask what the other person is having at a restaurant so we can go sharesies on it. And I always take a sip in the kitchen before refilling to offer it to the guy…but that’s just in my own house….or if I happen to be thirsty first.

  • http://facebook.com/yesip621 Yesi Jukebox

    This was a very funny post but very informative as well. Some acts of chivalry are really not necessary to me especially the purse thing…I had a guy willingly hold my bag once and it just wasn’t right.

    and yes “Knockin the boots” needs to come back!!

  • http://www.my28cents.com My 28 Cents

    “Like she just sat there for a half hour and watched me sleep, judging the hell out of me.”
    Lol, never looked at it that way before, but I always wake up first. Feel like I’m missing out on all the fun otherwise.

    And chivalry is not dead yet. As I like to say, it’s just in ICU.

  • Bridget B

    Funny funny post.

  • Ondrea

    Holding the purse is a funny one. i was in the grocery store one day and a guy got in line behind me and he had a purse along with his shopping cart. Non one noticed or paid attention to him until he said (out of the blue) “this is not my purse”. I looked at him and said “yeah, sure” and the cashier (a guy) and I laughed. His wife did appear eventually but I thought it was cute that although he was clearly uncomfortable holding her purse, he still did it.

  • Kellee

    You brought back fond memories…I remember teaching my first “adult” boyfriend not to come out of his bar with only a drink for himself. Sometimes, I would meet him there before our dates and the first few times he would bring along a bottle of beer for himself and nothing for me! I quickly taught him how rude this was and from then on he’d bring a cooler or some other beverage for me too.

  • http://www.avenue8.com MissMina

    LOL @ “Also, if she’s allergic to something like shellfish, I don’t order the lobster. What kind of jerk would do such a thing?”

    It’s hilarious, but should I judge a man for ordering steak for himself when I’m the one who chooses not to eat red meat? I feel like that would be selfish. However, maybe the chivalrous thing to do is ask if I mind if he orders steak??? Then again, no woman in her right mind would stop him.

    Well…there was an episode of One-On-One where Flex ordered meat and his date berated him for the entire dinner bc she was vegetarian. HAHAHA I guess they weren’t going to be “knockin’ the boots” after that date 😉

  • http://www.mauricegarland.com Maurice Garland

    ya got damn right you need to wake up before her ass…not only is she judging…she could be snooping around and stealing shit.

  • LeaBea84

    LOL @ “The third thing I do is go to her dressing room and try to get a quickie in (just kidding about the quickie part (just kidding about the just kidding part))”

    I’m not playing. That actually sounds like a great idea!! lolol…. I must admit that I also feel weird if I wake up before a guy. And you’re right. We’ll sit there for a good 30mins texting/bbm’ing our girlfriends and glance over every once in a while to see if you’re up lol….

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Maurice Garland LOL, dats f!cking hilarious… prolly true but high-larious!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14609144495895919568 sunkissed404

    @**inquiring mind**
    LMAO…So true.

    @Maurice Garland
    I wouldn’t be the one to steal anything..I’m more proned to go through medicine cabinets to make sure he ain’t taking nothing other than Motrin… My major was Pre-Pharmacy, and I used to work in one….So, I know what to look for…Buhleedat. lol

  • Kristie

    I wish I could repost this to my facebook page. Too cute!!! 🙂

  • Kristie

    I figured it out… Successfully shared!!!! YaY!!! 🙂

  • http://www.nicolen275.blogspot.com Nicole

    My co-workers think I’m losing my mind. The post was so funny, I laughed out loud. Then the comments are as funny if not funnier.

    My father was always the first one up. I don’t remember a day that he was not the first one up. He was always fully dressed and seemed like he’d done a full day’s worth of work before I saw him. I think that is why I feel some kind of way about someone being asleep during the day.

    I appreciate it when someone tries to make my life easier, even in the small ways. Grabbing my bag is a caring way to show that. I agree with the rest. My purse? Nah, I got that. I don’t care if it is the heaviest thing I’m carrying.

    I loved the post. “Knockin’ Boots” can stay where it went. My lexicon is struggling with the current vernacular without the flashbacks!

  • sideeye

    this was a really cute post…#1 had me in stitches, too funny. I normally wake up first, I’m an early riser by nature unless I’ve had a really late evenin the night before and then I’m still up before 10am…

    and the holding of the purse for me is not necessary…I got that and usually my bags too unless something a a little heavy only then would I like assistance….

    and LOL@ Maurice Garland…not all women are snoopers and/or thieves…that’s hilarious though. . .

  • citygirl22

    These are great guidelines for men to think about being more considerate and more chivalrous in general. Any woman will tell you, unequivocally, that chivalry earns a man “points”… so, in this case, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

    There should be no hard and fast rules, though. I love to wake up first, then wake him up for a quickie. I am often the one to bring him a drink, hook up breakfast, straighten up, etc. It’s not about being independent or dependent, but rather, taking care of the one you’re with. I think both men and women should be attentive to the other’s needs/wants.

  • Sassee

    I love this post and the comments..I lmao at work…

  • Tonya Love

    I would add, if you are both entering a crowded room and there is limited seating, find a seat for her before you seat yourself. An ex found his seat first and I STILL haven’t forgotten it.

  • http://www.aaronstjuste.wordpress.com Fallible Sage

    I dug this. I’m willing to hold the purse (momentarily) without prejudice. I’m secure with mine, and give people enough credit to figure out that I’m holding a lady’s purse and it isnt’ mine.
    Definitely gave me something to think about with the ordering to her desires. I too am open about what I eat, and like to try new things, so why not… if I remember. Great post.

  • Kate F.

    This is a great post – I just found this blog so I’m lagging a little in reading the posts.

    I would add one more that might seem silly, but it’s frustrating for women – make sure you’re not constantly walking too fast for her. Women like cute shoes and they’re not always the easiest or most comfortable to walk in. There’s nothing like walking with a man who will pay attention to the speed the woman has established and will walk WITH her.