It’s A Facebook Relationship Status Update, Not A Baby
Okay folks, I know I’m a little behind today, and I’m sorry for the delay, but I’m a busy man over here. I have ESSENCE FESTIVAL coming up in three days, so office time is limited and therefore, extremely important.
Still, I have a lunch break today, so let me go in on this particular thing I’m starting to see people do on Facebook that is getting on my last nerve. It’s not so much the people who are doing it so much as it is the reaction to the people who are doing it. So yeah, those people, whoever you are, pay attention. I have something to tell you.
All you girls out there who want to leave a comment on your girlfriend’s wall after she announces she is “In A Relationship”, cut it out. Stop. Enough with the “Yeaaaahhhh girl!” and the “Awwwwww”‘s. Save some of that for when you actually see them in person, or the phone call you two are going to have. I mean, that is your real-life friend, right? You do have her phone number, right? You do see her every now and then in real life, right? If your answer to any of these questions are no, then guess what? You have no business commenting on their relationship status update, even if it’s a happy one.
And all you guys out there who want to leave some subliminal message on her status update, with something like, “Another one bites the dust” or something smart like that, you cut it out too.
This is what Facebook has done, it’s reduced the significance of a relationship to something as trivial as a few clicks of the mouse, not because of the relationship status option itself, but the audience replying to the update.
The option of a person’s status has been given since the days of the AOL Profile, so really, we’re not looking at something entirely new here. What is new is the freaking comment section to follow it, so now, whenever we do want to casually update our relationship status just to make sure our profile is accurate with up-to-date information, we look like we’re trying to get the attention of others. And others are giving attention to us when in fact, we may not really want people to praise us just because we’re no longer screwing with other people (according to the status), just one.
As a result, girls are now pining for their men in real lives to represent on Facebook if for no other reason than to get blown up on their wall by all their girlfriends and show up in the time line of their former man who may or may not have lost a good thing. Meanwhile men are being pressured to do something they know really has no bearing on their actions. We’re pretty sure Beyonce said if we really like her we’ll put a ring on it, now we have to put a relationship status update on it too? Fine. Whatever makes her happy and gives the guy more time, we don’t care, because if we’re the type of man who creeps, we’re not doing it on the Internet, we’re doing it in real life. Everyone knows a real side piece doesn’t get the friend request.
If girls really wanted to gloat about their recent takeover of a man’s life, they would know the whole Relationship Status update thing is so 2006. With all the limited profile options, such information can now get hidden, so if he’s the type to creep, he knows how to appease your wishes while at the same time making himself look available. In 2010, the real relationship signifier has now shifted over into the Profile Picture. Any man can put down he’s in a relationship. That ain’t about nothing. But if a man puts up a profile pic of her with another girl, he’s making it loud and clear: Game over.
Quit commenting on a person’s simple old Relationship Status. If they’re in a relationship and you’re genuinely happy for them, call them or email them on the side. Don’t comment on it because the only thing I care about less than so-and-so now being in a relationship, is the person who is happy so-and-so just got into a relationship.