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How Can I Be A Good Boyfriend if I’m Not Even A Good Booty Call?

I was once assigned the task of pleasing a woman often. She said it would be no frills, no fuss, and whenever I wanted it, I could get it.

Unfortunately there was a catch.

She said in order for me to have such privileges, she would need to be extended the same ones. In other words, I too would have to let her come over or go over to her place whenever she called. I respectfully told her she was crazy and that wasn’t possible, but eventually I relented and gave it my best shot.

I was relieved of my duties after the first week.

The arrangement between two casual sex partners and a boyfriend and a girlfriend aren’t as different as we would like to think. As a matter of fact, I would go so far as to say the things that make a man a good booty call are the same things that make him a good boyfriend.

The first thing  is he has to be sexually attractive to some degree. Women may date the ugly dude, but even he has that thing that makes her want to jump his bones. So the first thing that needs to exist is an element of air between two people that makes them want to get it on on sight.

The second thing is he must be good in bed. What kind of person calls someone at 2 in the morning to come over and do a so-so job? This is why I don’t answer my phone half the time at that hour. I already know if I come over, my performance is going to do more bad than good. Then we’re both wasting our time.

The third thing is he must be consistent. This has nothing to do with performance (although it could) and everything to do with attendance. Just like a good boyfriend, a good booty call is showing up in or around the time she needs him to every time he calls.

What of these things is only exclusive to being a good booty call? None of them. Each of these things are core tenets in making a woman who is our main woman happy and each of these things are exactly everything I’m not willing to be for a woman right now.

Most booty calls aren’t planned out, they kind of just happen. We find someone we like enough to sleep with, then we sleep with them, and it’s so good we want to do it again and again until we wake up and realize for the last 6 months, we’ve been doing the same thing over and over with the same person. How did that happen?

Well it happened because neither one of the people involved in the situation shook the boat too much. We acknowledged it was good and somewhere down the line we were going to do it again. All was well until one day, the man can’t come through like he said he would. He canceled at the last minute or he didn’t want to come to her place, he would much rather her come to his.

A commitment is a commitment is a commitment and a woman is a woman is a woman. So when a woman wants a commitment out of a man, it may seem all good at first, but there’s definitely some fine print that says, “If you don’t satisfy your duties I will cut you off.”

I don’t know if this is anyone else’s story I just described, but it’s certainly mine. These days, I’m just lazy when it comes to the business of satisfying another woman. I enjoy doing it, trust me, it’s practically a hobby of mine, but like any hobby, I only enjoy it on my time. The minute I start tending to it when I don’t feel like it, it becomes a job and I just got one of those.

I used to think my lack of desire for a casual sex arrangement with another woman meant I was getting tired of such situations. That what I really wanted is something deeper, more satisfying to my entire being and not just one part of me. Maybe my lack of enthusiasm for a booty call meant I was outgrowing this phase of my life and I wanted to get back into a relationship.

But once I thought about all the reasons why I can’t even sign up to be someone’s jump-off, I realized it was almost for the same reasons I can’t sign up to be someone’s boyfriend.

Something’s going on here. I’ll find out exactly what it is soon enough.

Categories: dating, guys, s#x, women Tags:
  • http://bubblyblackgirl.wordpress.com Renae

    Interesting take on this. But you’re right, a commitment, regardless of the kind, is a commitment. And even a booty call feels a like a relationship you have to put in hard time for.

  • MultipleHeart

    Very interesting. I am in a situation like this. A booty call is a relationship. It is a mutual agreement (at least you hope it is mutual) between to people. If one isn’t putting in the required effort to make the arrangement satisfying someone will walk away…just like in a traditional relationship.

  • Jackie

    Don’t you have to really like (have feelings for) a person to honor a commitment? People don’t usually want to be in a relationship until the right person comes along. So if 2 people are only sexual companions with no feelings attached then how can u make a commitment to that person. Seems like booty calls are always a back up plan. When all else fails then call the booty call. But who wants to feel obligated to this somewhat random person. I dont think that your capability of being a good BF has anythign to do with being a good booty call bc you are not going to treat your gf the same way. Your gf will be someone that you actually want to spend time with and be around (during the day and night), and actally respect. So if you cant be a good booty call, that just means you dont like/care about the girl where u are getting the booty. The only requirement of a good booty call is someone who knows their role and plays their postion accordingly.

  • http://facebook.com/yesip621 Yesi Jukebox

    @Jackie I don’t think you understand his position on the booty call. His booty call would be someone that he respects and cares for or I am sure he wouldn’t even bother to have her around in any way. A booty call is not always a random person. You still have intimacy with a person who is a booty call so you can’t be totally unattached.

  • http://www.thechicagosupperclub.com Alana

    Yes I agree with Multiple…..a booty call is a relationship,u can call it whatever but thats what it is.People never wanna admit to that.

  • Jackie

    If u cared/respected the person then wouldnt you be dating instead of just a booty call?

  • Demi

    “Something’s going on here. I’ll find out exactly what it is soon enough.”

    You got that right, dude. I swear if I were Jozen’s therapist, I would so be at a loss for words right now! So you don’t want the booty calls now either?!? Damn, homie, come back next week and maybe then I’ll have something inspiring to say :).

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ MadScientist7

    i’ve definitely had some jump off situations fall by the wayside because i wanted it when i wanted it. not to say that i’m not always up for sex but when certain circumstances get in the way (i.e.-sleep) then i might have to re-think the arraignment.

  • http://www.avenue8.com MissMina

    Are ya’ll kidding? The birth of the booty call should be when both parties deliver mind-blowing sex. In that case, when are you ever too tired to wake up for that kind of experience. When the right booty call rings your phone, you sit up clear your throat and say, “Absolutely you can come thru.. I wasn’t sleep”. If your booty call doesn’t inspire you to drop everything and get it poppin every time the problem is not the booty call, the problem is the booty.

  • Sunkissed404

    “Something’s going on here. I’ll find out exactly what it is soon enough.”

    Ummm..Yeah!! Commitment! You are afraid of committing to anyone..like many of the guys I’ve met.

  • Sunkissed404

    lmao…Jozen, your writing reminds me of one of the characters in the movie “The wood” or “The brothers”.
    “Y’all remember the bet?? Don’t forget the bet!”lmao… You’ll be married sooner than you think.

  • Tonya Love

    I kind of agree with Jackie. But maybe because I am more of a traditional, romantic, old fashioned fuddy-duddy, who doesn’t do casual. Having “LOVE” as a last name limits me.

    Anyway, I figure if you come to a point where a booty call is a regular one, then you are having some kind of relationship that you agree to, like a contract. Maybe you should just change the contract. It can’t be anytime, anywhere. Maybe you need to make appointments.

    But that would require work..and you don’t want a booty call to BE work. So you just need to try someone new. Like MissMina says, a booty call has to be so exciting, so mind blowing that you don’t mind getting up at 2 in the morning, cause it’s ALWAYS going to be good. It sounds to me you are simply at the point where the sex isn’t exciting enough. You should probably put a time limit on each booty call..give it 2-4 weeks then quit. NEXT!

    However, the true difference between booty calls and real relationships- you want to be with the person so bad (because you LOVE them), that the WORK of being in the relationship is worth it. Your list of similarities becomes irrelevant.

  • dbaby11

    @missmina: i agree totally.

  • Theryl

    Very well written. My perspective is that you are being groomed and ripened for a relationship. You simply aren’t ready to pick or be picked. But once you have grown and matured to your full potential, it won’t matter what time she calls or what her demands may be. You will be so happy that she chose you, and you chose her that all good sense will go out the window. Lol. Just sit back and enjoying the preparation period.

  • Jackie

    Thank you Tonya! Thats what I was saying…He listed similarities in the 2 but the qualities that make a good booty call are so irrelavant to a real relationship. I think the opposite of a good booty call make up a GOOD relationship…thats why they are only a booty call. You dont really want them but they serve a purpose so you only see them when u have that itch or you are tipsy and trying to top off a great night with the girls/fellas. I can see how much respectyou can have for a person that you only see with their clothes off or at night/wee hours of the morning.

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  • BabyDoll

    That’s funny…I’m going through the exact same thing. I never thought about it like an obligation. That’s probably why I’m not into it as much anymore…I thought it was because I prefer to be in a committed, monogamous relationship but I guess there’s more to it.

  • **inquiring mind**

    My $.02?

    Booty Calls… I suppose it’s different for everyone @MissMina says it’s got to be SOOO good while @Jackie says there’s got to be some respect there to want to hold-up your end of the bargain… can both be right? I certainly think so. All-in-all Jozen I know what YOUR problem is tho… it’s the same problem you’ve had for a while now… (this will sting a bit, but comes from a caring place) the same problem that made you cheat and keeps you from giving someone ELSE your all… YOU.ARE.SELFISH.SELF-INDULGED.SELF-SERVING… noticing any patterns? Not that there’s something wrong with it… I mean it’s cool as long as you’re truthful with yourself and the others you deal with… clearly you’re just not ready to deal with anyone yet in any intimate capacity, to which I say “it beez like dat sometimes” *shrug*…

  • Jackie

    @**inquiring mind**

    Keep it real!! If Jozen isnt ready to be in a relationship that has nothing or isnt evident in his skills to please the jump off. Maybe ur saving all ur good shit for the one u care about (the one!).

  • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

    “Each of these things are core tenets in making a woman who is our main woman happy and each of these things are exactly everything I’m not willing to be for a woman right now.”

    BANG!

    I 100% co-sign this message. I am a free spirit and when I feel obligated to anything I fight it! Even my job that I LOVE there are days I just want to sleep in and chill. Whether it is good sex or not (if I was sexually active), I can not do anything I am not in the mood for.

    @Sunkissed4O

    You make a good point about commitment. That made me think about myself because I understand where he is coming from. Commitment is not high on my list either. I am one of the few 30 plus yr old women who does not want to be tied down right now. Not even to a semi-commitment. It is draining for me! Maybe it is fear.

  • http://www.my28cents.com My 28 Cents

    Yes, by definition a booty call is technically a relationship because it’s a form of involvement. Sexual involvement, but involvement nonetheless. However, you don’t make any commitments, it defeats the purpose. A call is made, if all parties are down you proceed as planned. If not, you move onto plan b or go to bed with that fire still burning. Kind of like missmina said, depending on how good the booty is will determine if you forget that you’re tired or have to wake up in a few hours for work.

    I do agree with Jozen that a commitment is commitment no matter what and you have to meet the terms. However, I don’t think you can compare being a good boyfriend to being a good booty call. Being a good booty call simply means you’re free and d.t.f. 80% of the time. In addition you will without a doubt put out that fire. That’s about it. I would need a few pages to explain what being a good boyfriend/girlfriend means. Like Tonya Love said above, you put in the extra work involved with being in a “real” relationship because you love that person. Booty calls are supposed to be fun with no strings attached. An unspoken agreement saying that if you see my name on the caller id, I’m probably not calling to ask if you want to catch a movie. It’s just a convenience, kind of like having a grocery store across the street from your place that’s open 24/7.

    Although it’s true you can have a booty call whom you care for and even respect, but it doesn’t necessarily want to settle down or casually date them. Arranged booty call though? Sounds like signing up to be an indentured servant in my opinion (most guys would probably agree to it anyways).

  • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

    @Jackie
    You make great points but what I took was that the simularities of a commited relationship and booty call is due to the fact that they both can be a obligation. Jump offs can be just as “serious” as relationships when folks make demands on each other. That is what I agree with because from that point of view they are the same. Not the emotional part.

    Like you I am a romantic and traditional. Hell I am not even sexually active, so I am real old fashion. So I feel the same way, I think he makes valid points as well.

  • BoomShots

    So your finding out that there is a very thin line between a frequent booty call and a relationship. welcome to the party!!

    Listen everyday scores of men and women comes to these realizations, its not something you can really tell someone else is going to happen but it just one of those evolutionary milestones. Truth is if you are gonna put that much effort into meeting someone elses sexual needs as a booty call then you might as well have a relationship plus it does not have to be that great other than the sex. There are scores of people whose relationships and marriages if not for the sex would be non-existent.

    Plus not all relationships have legs, some are good even if they are just momentary.

  • Sunkissed404

    @Natasha
    lol…So, commitment is not your thing, huh?

    Well…At least you can admit it. There’s nothing worse than a person who lets other people make decisions for them,and they end up miserable. I don’t having a problem commiting to a person who I see as a good fit for me. I’ve been out with guys before, where, when I was out with them, my eyes were roaming around at all the other men like I was the exorcist…In other words, he wasn’t good enough to take my mind off all the other men in sight.

    On the flip side, I’ve been out with guys who, when I was walking beside them, I felt so special and complete, that I could care less what the guy next to me or couple was doing. Going out with guys is normally how I figure stuff out about their personalities..

    But, back to the booty calls…Yeah man…That’s totally a commitment situation…Another term used to describe this horrible disease: “Cut-friends”

  • http://ponytailtostiletto.blogspot.com Nicky

    “Something’s going on here. I’ll find out exactly what it is soon enough.”

    Maybe in your heart of hearts, no other will do than the “one who got away” and embarking on something fresh, whether strictly sexual or not, seems an utter waste of time. Or an experience from your past that you wholeheartedly committed yourself to left you drastically traumatized and any degree of commitment scares you senseless…we all go through this from time to time…I

  • http://ktcheval.wordpress.com KB

    @**inquiring mind**
    LMAO at “YOU.ARE.SELFISH.SELF-INDULGED.SELF-SERVING… noticing any patterns?”

    This is definitely a commitment issue.

    Having embarked upon an absurdly, and I mean ABSURDLY, long booty-call arrangement, I’ve realized that there really is a very fine line between such arrangements and being in a committed relationship. And I got cut off because, to him, it was starting to feel too much like a relationship…whereas, I was like, “What are you TALKING about????? I just want that good shit!” And, although I understand where he was coming from, I’m still sulking about it. Almost five months later.

    (y’all just don’t understand how amazing it was.)

  • **inquiring mind**

    @KB Hey Girl! I haven’t holla’d at you in a minute. Anywho…

    @My 28 Cents
    @Sunkissed404

    Yeah, I think WE ALL know Jozen has commitment issues… but, where does that sh!t come from I wonder. Is it selfishness or FEAR or laziness or self-esteem? I mean it can’t just be some general “you have commitment issues” sweep across the board right?… Hell, I have commitment issues, not like Jozen though I don’t think (don’t worry bout dat tho, this is Jozen’s blog remember?) so what good is it really doing anyone to just say “dude you got commitment issues”? There’s got to be more, no? A root? I wanna understand.

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Natasha
    you too

  • http://ktcheval.wordpress.com KB

    @**inquiring mind**
    I think lots of people go through a phase during which they just don’t want to be bothered with anybody or anything. For a while I just didn’t *want* a relationship because I didn’t want to think about anyone but myself. Like, do I *really* have to talk to you every day and see you three times a week? I just want to be alone and read my books and write and take myself to the movies and out to dinner whenever I feel like it. So I guess you could call that selfishness. At the core of my selfishness was that I had been dating someone who just kinda drained me…we were never “official” but it lasted for nearly a year and I felt like I spent a majority of that time trying to be the woman I thought he wanted me to be. By the end I was so tired that I was really just relieved that it was over. So I needed that time to get back to myself, to figure out who I was again, and what I wanted. I don’t know what Jozen’s particular issue is…but perhaps @Nicky has a point…

  • Kady

    Omg, **inquiring mind** , I bet days like these Jozen wants to break his no commenting rule, calling him out on being too scared of commitment to commit to a booty call, lmao. Actually who are these booty calls who actually have rules, sound kinda like that would be defeating the purpose. You shouldn’t even have to answer the phone when you know someone is calling you for a booty call and that person doesnt have the right to get mad.

    I think a side-point Jozen brings up is how men are not ok with being sexual objects while women do it all the time. He was cool with the female being his booty call but the second she told him he was hers, he lost some excitement. In my experience men don’t handle being told “I’m only here for D*#k” very well, with these guys you probably have to pretend to be calling about something else and lead into the “What are you doing tonight” instead of starting out with it.

    Which brings me to the reason I don’t have booty calls, I don’t want to have to listen to you talk about anything, and I want to be able to leave and go sleep in my own bed. And there is always the lames who only last 5mins, as a busy woman, its not worth the time or the increase in body count.

    But seriously is Jozen being to nice to his booty calls? He really shouldn’t feel pressured to come when she wants it. In that case she may need to add more guys to her rotation, isnt that what men do? You guys don’t have one booty call, you have a few that you call until you get a yes..no? I don’t understand why they really deserve a commitment, when the sales tag for a booty call is “No Commitment”

  • **inquiring mind**

    @KB
    I definitely see that and can say I’ve been there (drained and therefore over dating)… could truly just be that simple. Excellent point.

  • **inquiring mind**

    as a busy woman, its not worth the time or the increase in body count.
    No truly words have been spoken

    I don’t understand why they really deserve a commitment, when the sales tag for a booty call is “No Commitment”
    Clearly some people just aren’t cut out for it… me being one of them. *shrug*

  • Patty

    “…but like any hobby, I only enjoy it on my time. The minute I start tending to it when I don’t feel like it, it becomes a job and I just got one of those” < my fave line. Soo true!!!!!

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Kady ^ your response… my bad… me sleepy.

  • http://www.my28cents.com My 28 Cents

    Lol @KB “(y’all just don’t understand how amazing it was.)”
    Yea that’s common. I know plenty of people, male and female, that as soon as their jump off, booty call, or what have you shows the slightest indication they want more than that phone call at 2am….. it’s over. I don’t know your full situation though, could have said something that was misinterpreted or maybe he just used it as an excuse. I wish you the best though lol, hopefully the sulking comes to an end soon.

    @**inquiring mind**
    I haven’t been following long enough to feel comfortable to say he has commitment issues, nor can I argue it for the same reason. I break the post itself and the comments like this:
    1. At the simplest level – The words commitment and arrangement should never be in the same sentence with booty call. Never. Only arrangements maybe is who buys the condoms on Tuesdays and your place or mine? Now since the issue is bigger than booty calls it seems…..
    2. Here is where I’m kind of with you:
    Jozen, if feeling inadequate as a booty call is leading you to doubt your abilities as a boyfriend…… then yea you might have commitment issues bruh. If that is in fact true, where does it come from? No idea, those are some good questions **inquiring mind** asks. And/or maybe @Nicky is on to something as well? It could be any one thing or many things really. Haven’t been in that situation personally, but I suppose the next step for you would be to empty out your pockets, put it all out on the table, and figure out where the hole is. Only then will you be able to patch it up.

  • http://ponytailtostiletto.blogspot.com TheChick

    OR (and this is just a guess) you could not REALLY be experiencing any of these emotions or feelings, Jozen…after all, you are writer and this is a blog….

  • Mia

    I don’t think Jozen needs a therapist when he has all of you.

  • http://womanofcolor.wordpress.com brownivyx

    Now, I’m not an expert in this arena (not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-that), but what is being described in this post doesn’t sound like casual sex to me. It *does* however sound like an arrangement, which is a whole different animal. An arrangement is kind of like a business deal, where two parties agree to terms, rules, deal-breakers, clauses, etc.

    The casual encounter is the complete absence of all of these things. There are no rules, no muss or fuss or commitment on either side. Neither of you is obligated or bound to come when the other calls, and no one catches hurt feelings if the other declines. But sometimes, if you’re in the mood and both available, then it’s a nice surprise. It’s not supposed to be a guarantee. It’s completely primal and based on the mood of the moment. That’s what makes it “fun” (ie casual). You share some laughs, talk about the weather, do what you do and continue about the business of living your separate lives.

    Obligating another individual to performance on either side just kind of takes the wind out of the sails (no pun-intended but giggling nonetheless) on the whole casual, “zipless ****” thing.

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    Yeah when you are just a booty call sex becomes lacking and even boring. He can still press all the right buttons and get the needed effect but one’s mind can still wander to making grocery lists or trying to remember if you have DVR’d something. Hell I have watched tv because I was so damn bored, even though he hit every button. I suppose if there was more at stake, like a relationship aside from our make believe friendship then things would have been more intense or my mind would have been into it.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • http://www.twitter.com/EbonyLolita EbonyLolita

    A booty call is a relationship….. a sexual one. As a woman you have to be honest w/what you want and WHEN you want it. Stop lying saying that you just want “casual sex/friendwbenefits” when you really want an exclusive relationship. Either way if the guy doesn’t want to give it to you it ain’t gonna happen. I learned this at 21. I just turned 31 & run for the border if I hear a guy tell me he’s not “dating or looking to date seriously.” I BELIEVE what he tells me instead of fantasizing that you can build commitment out of just sex. Saved myself a lot of trouble that way. Ladies… I suggest you do the same 🙂

    Love, EbonyLolita 😉

  • http://ktcheval.wordpress.com KB

    @My 28 Cents
    Thanks. The sulking will only end when I start getting some that is equally amazing. So I don’t foresee it ending any time soon. 🙁

    As far as the situation, *I* never felt like it was anything more than just an arrangement…especially because the things he named as indications that I wanted more were things that he ASKED me to do, such as: letting him know when I got home from work, and calling him at a certain time every day. I was like, “Mmmm, ok. But that shit wasn’t MY idea!” Whatever.

    *goes off to sulk some more*

  • citygirl22

    I’ve been in a long-term (years) bootycall situation, and I will concede that there are some ways in which it can be similar to a relationship, depending on the individuals involved:

    1) Non-Sex Activities: we actually do enjoy each others’ company, and spend plenty of time outside of the bedroom doing mundane things, like watching TV reruns and ordering takeout.
    2) Emotional Connection: physical chemistry and personal compatibility foster emotional intimacy, period. If your bootycall is already a friend, the chances that emotions will develop at some level are fairly high. You can choose to ignore “feelings,” but they need not be absent in order for the person to be a bootycall.
    3) Expectation of Pleasing One Another: I disagree that mindblowing sex 100% of the time is a requirement. No human being is “on” 100% of the time. Fatigue and inebriation are common sex killers, particularly with the post-club calls that don’t go quite as planned. But the expectation is that, since you have a mutually satisfying track record with this person, you will deliver some form of pleasure to one another, whether that night or the next morning, afternoon or whatever.
    4) Some degree of reliability: My 28 Cents said it well. D.T.F. 80% of the time… LMAO!!!

    Some ways in which a bootycall is not AT ALL like a relationship:

    1) No Commitment: this extends to the “obligation” to wake up at all hours, or the “obligation” to be available when the person calls. NO SUCH THING!!! No strings attached means no strings attached. If I’m tired, or I don’t feel like seeing you, I won’t.
    2) No Expectation of Monogamy: A committed relationship usually calls for those involved to be exclusive with one another. A bootycall, in contrast, carries no such expectation or assurance. If my bootycall has the option of seeing others (and so do I), that means he will NOT always be available when I want some, and vice versa.
    3) No Shelf Life: the hallmark of a relationship is significance. The relationship is justified by the degree to which it seems to be going somewhere. If it is not going anywhere serious, one or both persons usually want out. The hallmark of a bootycall, on the other hand, is convenience. The bootycall situation is usually not called into question unless it becomes dissatisfying or starts moving toward relationship territory.

    As for you, Jozen, I don’t think the scenario you’ve described is evidence that you’re a bad bootycall. I think it’s evidence that the woman you were involved with was asking too much… which likely means she was not being truthful about what she really wanted (i.e., a relationship) in the first place. No matter what situation you choose, I believe that when you’re with the right person, it doesn’t feel like a “job” at all.

  • http://www.puaforums.com/how-get-girlfriend How to Get a Girlfriend

    It may not feel like a job, but that doesn’t mean you can “coast” either, it takes self awareness and the willingness to compromise and constantly work on improving your relationship.

  • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

    @ **inquiring mind** yes me too. Sorry so late responding back. After talking to my sister last night I was able to think clearly. Like KB said being in a relationship is not on everyone’s agenda. Being a women and not wanting to commit makes me look real crazy. I be dat. Redman. But my career is my concern right now and doing what I believe GOD called me to do. I don’t want to compromise right now. I am not selfish, being selfish is entering a relationship knowing you do not want to commit but too afriad to be alone!

    @Kady my sister was saying the same thing you said last night. She said nothing Jozen said to her made him afraid to commit. The truth is everyone is afraid to some extent to commit so that’s why I think it is true. But to think the man needs help is a little to far. He is actually ahead of the game because he is aware of who he is. Most folks are trying to figure that out.

  • Janine

    @MissMina
    HAHAHAHAH!! Before you even answer the phone, when u see his name on the caller ID! I concur…

  • Carson

    @**inquiring mind**
    I think you got a good point—but I am living this right now….It has nothing to do with him being selfish nor me…It’s only because, at this point, we have nothing to offer in a GOOD relationship other than SEX…I got my issues and he has his–so we figure why not take care of our issues first then once everything is settled MAyBE then we can make sumthing happen!!!

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Carson

    You can’t be serious (I know, I’m so late on this one but something told me to thumb thru the archives and here you were… as I was saying). You yourself say you have nothing to offer a GOOD relationship? A GOOD one Carson? So you settle for one solely based on the physical… less than good? Contrary to what you believe you’re not giving anything by having sex with these women and leaving them hanging (and you are leaving them hanging)… YOU my friend are taking… both of you (and Jozen) are.
    I’ll just refer you back to this…

    Natasha :@ … I am not selfish, being selfish is entering a relationship knowing you do not want to commit but too afriad to be alone!

    *Black Power fist in the air* lol (too hard to be completely serious)

  • Briizy

    @MissMina
    Amen. Never too tired for some good good.

  • http://twitter.com/negresse82 Stephanie

    I was just wondering myself why I didnt have a booty call situation…Its been a long time. And its true…no matter what you call it..its a relationship with commitment. And just thinking back on the past..booty calls always turn into something else..unwarranted at that… Getting some good sex is always good but being free with no issues is even better… I think Im going to keep enjoy being single and re-up on my porn collection..its minimal at the moment…