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Technically, A Man Doesn’t Need To Start A Blog To Get Women

Back in 2006, I got a job as the online editor for KING Magazine. For those who were born yesterday or in parts of the country where black men and their reading interests are given zero consideration, KING Magazine is basically the black male version of MAXIM in so many words. This absolutely means part of my job required me to look and interact with stunning women who were fine enough to literally be in a magazine.

Throughout my time at KING the number one question I was asked is whether or not my job helped me out with the ladies, as though my being closer to these “models” (some were legit, others weren’t in my opinion) beget more models. And I suppose at a very base level, to assume such a thing isn’t really foolish, but as my blog becomes more and more popular, I have begun to notice the same questions or assumptions being made.

Some say jokingly (though there’s a lot of truth in jest), Until I Get Married is some sort of rest haven for women. They see the comments by all the women or they hear women talk about the blog, and they automatically think it translates into panties on my laptop and that is just not true. If you want to know the real truth, here it is.

I’VE ALWAYS HAD PANTIES THROWN AT MY LAPTOP. Okay, let me calm down. Not always, but the idea that this blog helps me with women implies I needed help in the first place, and I don’t think I ever did.

As I make my way today down to ESSENCE FESTIVAL in New Orleans for the weekend, I am expecting to meet a few — maybe four or five — women readers, but I’m not expecting something to go down beyond a simple exchange of pleasantries. Or wait, let me stop lying. If I find them attractive, then I hope everything I would want to go down with any attractive woman I meet, actually goes down. And though we could say my blog helped me out in some way, maybe, I don’t believe it, not for a second.

The reason I know my blog isn’t what gets me women is because I know I’m the same man without the blog. On a technical level sure, because of this blog I definitely know more women then when I started it and more women know me, but for those numbers to actually add up in my bedroom entirely depends on who I am as a person. And who I am as a person has been the thing that always got me the women I wanted. The same goes for any man.

I have a friend who once worked in an ice cream shop that was popular with the ladies and it worked like a charm. When I was a waiter in college at Applebee’s, I always demanded groups of college-aged women be sat in my section. In high school, I served slices of pizza at an Italian restaurant where I collected more than a few numbers on the backs of receipts.

The reason I get girls is for the same reason my boy who worked at the ice cream shop got girls, it’s because he was good at his job and the girls who came in noticed it every now and then. Could they have wanted free ice cream too? Sure, but I don’t know one woman sliding her panties off over some chocolate mint.

If girls are everywhere and a man is halfway decent to look at and talk to, he’s going to be just fine. He doesn’t need to start a blog. He doesn’t need to work at KING. He just has to put himself in a position where there are girls and he will flourish. I mean, just ask a local firefighter how many girls they get everyday just for showing up on the job int heir uniform. Women love firefighters. Those guys practically have groupies.

But I would never call a female fan of mine a groupie. Some women just like the stuff I write, and for them along with everyone else who supports my blog, I am thankful everyday. This blog has always been about women, but never about getting them. Instead, I’m writing about something I’m actually interested in, which is my life and the women involved in my life who stick around not because I have a blog but because they like the guy behind it.

By the way, if any readers are going to be down at Essence Fest this weekend, feel free to go to the Contact page and email me. I’m not guaranteeing anything, as I’m going to be macking, hanging, and working, but if you see me around, please say hi. I would definitely jump at the opportunity to say thank you in person.

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  • http://ktcheval.wordpress.com KB

    *dead* @ “…but I don’t know one woman sliding her panties off over some chocolate mint.”

    Maybe not any *women*, but I definitely knew some fast ass lil girls in high school for whom that would NOT have been an issue. Ice cream, pizza, whatever.

    Maybe you didn’t need the help…but I’m pret-ty sure this blog didn’t hurt. 😉

    Oh, and I went out with a firefighter once….he was fine, but BOR-ing. All he talked about was how much he hated his job. Then he said that he couldn’t date a woman who had more than four partners, because when he’s with a woman sexually, he wants to violate her. And he didn’t want to imagine some other man doing the things he did with her.

    That was our first–and last–date.

    Have fun at Essence Fest!

  • L. Dejean

    Safe travels to New Orleans! Have a hand grenade for me (i’m dying to have one…but have yet to get there)!

    “I don’t know one woman sliding her panties off over some chocolate mint.”
    ^^^I laughed from a healthy place at this!

    Oh and i was at the south street seaport after the riot ended, i guess you had bounced!

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    Good one. ope we’re not groupies, we’re just avid readers. Yeah, sure, that’s what I’ll say.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • mimi

    LOL… this was cute.

  • Sunkissed404

    I love this post… I feel like the people suggesting that you need a blog to get your mack on are just hating…the majority of whom I feel would be male anyways. I feel like the idea behind the title of your blog is genius. When I first saw your posting on essence.com, I looked at the title, and had to know more.

    People always say…” Child…my life is so crazy, I COULD WRITE A BOOK”… How many people actually do it though? People say, I guess that’s just how it will be…”until i get married” everyday. But, nobody has been crafty enough to put these words into motion by creating a blog, chronicling the journey, until they get married…

    For the record, I’ve met some of the most finest, Boris Kodjoe looking guys, who had the personality of Nevada (Just dry)…and no swag, whatsoever….Hell, I even met Boris Kodjoe…and yeah, he’s just a little bit boring…. I’ll take a guy with a good balance of looks, personality, and swag anyday…

    Be good at Essence!!!!

  • http://www.thechicagosupperclub.com Alana

    Jozen stop it you know u have groupies, LOL!!Have fun this wknd and be safe!

  • http://ponytailtostiletto.blogspot.com Nicky

    Apparently this word “mack” needs to slide its way back into my vocabulary. I love it! Safe travels to you and everyone who will be traveling to Essence! Please be careful, ladies and gents!

  • P.A.

    “If you want to know the real truth, here it is…I’VE ALWAYS HAD PANTIES THROWN AT MY LAPTOP.” <—I died laughing. Have fun at EMF!

  • http://www.teaandsuch.blogspot.com Tea

    This whole posts contradicts itself. You say the blog leads you to meeting/knowing more women, but it’s not helping you “get” women. How does knowing more women NOT leading to getting more women. That’s like saying this cake has more calories than a carrot, but I’m not gaining weight because of this cake, I’m gaining weight because I’m eating this cake. Um… ok.

    I don’t think your intention was to get women by writing the blog, but I’m not a big fan of talking about intentions. I’m a fan of talking about results. Plenty of people don’t mean to hit someone with their car, but they do and the result of the collision is what ultimately matters.

    To say the blog doesn’t “get” you women is comical. Have fun at EMF!!! I look forward to reading about your conquests… oops, I mean adventures.

  • http://facebook.com/yesip621 Yesi Jukebox

    @Tea Well just because he is meeting more women doesn’t mean he is getting more play than what he would if he didn’t have a blog. Let’s say that he was hooking up with 50% of the women he met before the blog and magazines, and now he is still hooking up with 50% of the women he meets…well then the number is still the same. That’s the whole point of the post. He doesn’t need his writing to get girls.

    Or at least that’s how I comprehend it…

  • ChiChi

    See ya around! I will be getting tipsy almost everyday and partaking in all Free.99 festivities.

  • http://www.ashy2classy.net Darryl Frierson

    I guess people haven’t got the memo that writers really don’t have groupies. For one we are pretty faceless and two pretty damn quirky. Good post bruh!!

  • Randi

    umm, yeah i agre with tea. i would never suggest that you needed any help with the ladies, but your blog certainly exposes you to many women who, after reading your work for a while, find themselves wanting to be either the object of your desire or subject of your blog post.

  • goalawal

    Technically, all you need to do to get women is be yourself….Being a blogger, Journalist, author on some levels is not necessarily an extremely lucrative career. I think you can be really passionate about ur craft and ppl imagine it being used for other more personal motives…
    @ Tea u should come back and read the comments of those that think jozenc is a jerk and that this blog really is about how many more Yamz / women he plans to body line / body bag/ toe tag/ debud/ deflower/knock off/ (okay, am having 2 much fun now)

  • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

    “The reason I get girls is for the same reason my boy who worked at the ice cream shop got girls, it’s because he was good at his job and the girls who came in noticed it every now and then. ”

    Exactly!!!

    It’s like being in your element. The laws of nature says that we are attracted to people we see are doing something they are good at.

    Being hot does not help either:) As always great blog:)

  • **inquiring mind**

    Awww Jozen, you say all this like it’s a bad thing (a little too defensive huh?)… Regardless, like many before have said when you’re good at something, it just makes you look better doing it. So while this blog may (OR MAY NOT- yeah right) be a/the reason for all the panties being hurled your way… uh, does it even matter? *shrug* lol

    Have fun… AND BE SAFE!

  • Kady

    Seriously, I was eying the guy at staples because he is always so friendly and nice, its more about the man than the job. When I was 18 a guy who worked for a magazine was constantly trying to use it to get with me, it was so lame. But I will say, as a corporate girl I love meeting men who work in arts, wether writer, artist, singer, basically any job that isn’t similar to mine will pull me in.

  • MiMi Pierce

    This is my first time reading your blog and I am floored! You made some really valid and great points. An average looking man, with the right fit in the right place will flourish with the ladies I do agree. People who would “assume” your blog is what gets you women are sadly mistaken. Women like men for different reasons, some may be celebrity chasers; but someone of us like a simple well groomed, well spoken, intellectually stimulating, funny guy.

  • http://www.aaronstjuste.wordpress.com Fallible Sage

    I feel you brother. People sometimes say that I “get” women because of my accent. But as an “Americanized” West Indian (I’ve lived in the states since 14), I only usually talk with an accent when I’m talking to other West Indians, be it family or stranger, if I get pissed off, or the occasional unsolicited mispronunciation of a word. But usually in my day to day people can’t tell. So I take offense that they believe that it just couldn’t be me that women find interesting all by itself, no island vernacular.

  • http://www.teaandsuch.blogspot.com Tea

    @Yesi Jukebox I feel you, I guess it depends on if he’s talking percentage of conversion or raw numbers. In my opinion, the raw numbers HAVE to go up by exposing yourself to a wider audience and it’s also possible that his return on investment could also increase. But I feel you, he’s doesn’t “NEED” the blog to get women, I understand and agree, but I certainly think to say that it doesn’t help could be misleading.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    good post. i’ve always wondered by people assume that because you write a blog it will get you play with the ladies. doesn’t happen with me. *shrug*

  • citygirl22

    @Tea Do women throw panties at writers now? LMAOOOOOOOOO at that idea. I mean, having an interesting job never hurts anyone, but let’s be real.

    There is a directional difference between access and exposure. Having a recognizable name *might* afford Jozen access to a certain cadre of person. But, presuming that person is worth their salt, he’d have to be his attractive, charming, witty, interesting SELF, or such an opportunity would make absolutely no difference. In the blogosphere, I should think gains are made not so much in access but in exposure… making our Top 10 man somewhat of a semi-quasi-almost-celebrity (to regular ole folk), and a draw to women who are swayed by that sort of thing. Firstly, that would be on the women, not on Jozen. But secondly, an increase in “raw numbers” without an increase in quality is not really “helping” him, is it? Birds are everywhere. You REALLY don’t need a blog for that.

  • http://www.teaandsuch.blogspot.com Tea

    @citygirl22 folx are throwing panties wherever other folx will catch them, but that has nothing to do with anything. I’m pretty sure we’re all saying the same thing, so let me just repeat myself.

    “he doesn’t “NEED” the blog to get women, I understand and agree, but I certainly think to say that it doesn’t help could be misleading.”

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