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Numbers, Facebooks, and Addresses: A Guide To Staying In Touch

Nowadays, we have options. There are all kinds of ways to stay in touch with someone, and some might even say, with so many various forms of communication at our disposal, something like a request for a phone number is slightly intrusive.

Considering at any given moment someone can hit me on my office phone, cell phone, BBM on my cell phone, Twitter, Facebook, Email, Google Talk, or AIM, I don’t  mind being asked for something other than my digits. At times, I may even prefer something like my email address over my phone number. Others disagree and long for the days when one’s math was all we needed.

What it all comes down to is circumstance. When and why should I ask for one form of contact information over another form? Well, let’s break it down, shall we?

PHONE NUMBER

I have been asking for phone numbers since the days of me trying to hook up with girls at the skating rink and getting dropped off at the movie theater by my parents. Quite simply, the phone number is sending a clear message that I have every intention of staying in touch with her whether it’s via text or by calling. Speaking of calling and talking on the phone, whatever happened to that part of the courtship? I might do a post just about caking on the phone. There should be at least an hour of that before I do other things like spend money on her.

TWITTER

Personally, I don’t mind being followed on Twitter by a new girl I meet if only because I believe it’s a tangible reflection of my personality and wit. And if she has a Twitter, it demonstrates a certain media savvy I can appreciate. But be forewarned, if you’re the type of woman who Retweets everything Diddy writes and fortune-cookie like life lessons every five minutes, I’m going to assume there’s not much going on in that head of yours and we probably wouldn’t get along in real life.

EMAIL

To me, this is the phone number of the new millennium. I’ve been preferring to stay in touch over email since 2004, when I got my first office job and I found myself in front of a desk and computer for the majority of a day. Then eventually my email became synced to my mobile device, so now it’s like having my phone number only less intrusive. I think the other reason I prefer email is because I know I can write. I certainly can talk too, so email wouldn’t be covering up any flaws in my game, it just enhances it. Besides, there’s also the great email address litmus test. If a woman still uses Yahoo for her email carrier, well, I’m just going to assume she also still forwards chain emails to ten of her friends just so she can be blessed for the next 6 years.

BBM

All you iPhone users move on. All my Blackberry follow me. BBM. Let’s talk about it. This sneaky little jerk of a communication method gets on my last nerve, and the women who ask me for my BBM before anything else are just as annoying, unless they’re fine. Then I don’t mind so much. The problem with BBM is it snitches on you. It tells you when something has been read or unread and because you can communicate in real time, anyone who is hitting you on BBM is expecting an immediate response. I personally prefer not to give out my BBM until sometime after I slept with a girlr which is not to say it always works out like that, but I mean, geez, what do I look like giving out my BBM all fast and stuff?

iCHAT/AIM or GChat

A close cousin of the email method, for me iChat or Gchat is great if only because, again, I spent large chunks of my day working in front of a computer. It also is one of the more flexible methods of communication. Unlike BBM which tells the sender when a message has been read or unread, computer chatting can be both instant and delayed. If we’re being hit up by someone we don’t like, we can just claim we weren’t in front of the computer. We can also hit someone up late at night if we just so happen to see them on. You know the classic opening line on Chat after 12:30 a.m. don’t you? It’s usually something like this: “Go to bed…” Once they respond back, you know something after dark is about to go down.

But I have a question, and this is something I posed to my Twitter followers the other day. If I do hit someone up on chat sometime after 12 a.m., during the booty call hours, is it the modern day equivalent of getting a booty call? I don’t want to hear any answers that depend on intention, I’m just wondering how is it perceived. Whether a guy was hitting you up for a mundane conversation or a freaky one, if it’s 12:30 a.m. and you get that message — “Go to bed” — what’s your first thought as the recipient?

FACEBOOK

A few months ago, I met this wonderful lady in the club and from the moment we introduced ourselves, we got along famously. The vibe was cool between us and there was definitely some attraction, but there was also a lot of drinking involved. At the end of the night, we exchanged phone numbers, and the next day we had a sober conversation. The two of us made plans to see each other shortly thereafter, but we still had one more thing to take care of before we felt completely comfortable with this arrangement. So we Friend Requested each other. Luckily, we were both pleased by each others profile, but it was good to know she understood to handle business before pleasure.

If I’m asking for your Facebook either within the first ten minutes of meeting you or within the first conversation we have after we have met it’s for one reason of three reasons: When we met, I was either tipsy, there was bad lighting where we met, or a combination of the two, and honestly, before we go any further, I need to know what you look like. You should care what I look like too.

ADDRESS

If this is what I’m asking for after meeting you for the first time, and this is what you’re giving me, well then, there really isn’t going to be any need for any of the other forms of contact information mentioned above, now is there?

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  • http://www.lolasmalls.com the smalls

    Hilarious but so dead on. I totally had to quote the entire bit about email on my blog. And I dislike BBM for the very same reasons.

    Anyway, you brought up a very, very important point at the start of your post. You say, “Speaking of calling and talking on the phone, whatever happened to that part of the courtship?” I wonder the SAME THING! Because while text messages, email, Gchat, AIM, Twitter and Facebook are all good and well forms of communication they aren’t very personal, they don’t make me want to fall in love. For any men reading this, when you exchange a phone number with a female, and you are interested in and attracted to said female, call her BEFORE texting. Just try it. I meet a lot of dudes who just text like I wouldn’t give them any play with a phone conversation so they went to the back-up plan: a text message. It’s almost as if men are afraid to call these days. Weird.

    Anyway, you’ve failed to mention the most innovative forms of communication: Google Voice and video chatting. Google Voice is awesome. It helps field the weirdos and potential stalkers. You can permanently send a caller to voicemail or block them from ever calling again. Great for us ladies who encounter the clingy, pesky men. And for you men, Google Voice is the perfect way to avoid a Kat Stacks situation. We may have done the iChat and we may Skype from time to time, which is great! But with the iPhone 4’s FaceTime feature, bew mackin’ and booty calls are going to a whole new level. Just sayin’.

  • L. Dejean

    Whether a guy was hitting you up for a mundane conversation or a freaky one, if it’s 12:30 a.m. and you get that message — “Go to bed” — what’s your first thought as the recipient?

    ^^^I think why is he trying to be my daddy & respond, “why don’t you go to bed?” or “why aren’t you asleep?” but depending on the person, they’ll get a laugh also.

    I still use my yahoo address cause if i don’t want them to know my school address or blasting the email address i used for sorority business (yea, i used to get that many emails for it) i just give that one…i don’t forward emails unless its about Asthma to my sister. judge me if you want.

    I don’t mind giving my fb information cause then i can see what they look like & read up some on them but i can be quite hesitant with my number…once i told a guy in the airport that being my friend on fb is more valuable than my number…which, at one point, it was since i was always on it.

    I don’t use all the other methods so much anymore.

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

    “Whether a guy was hitting you up for a mundane conversation or a freaky one, if it’s 12:30 a.m. and you get that message — “Go to bed” — what’s your first thought as the recipient?”

    Yeah, I’m thinking it’s an #afterdark convo going down. “Go to bed” is such a flirty opener, so I imagine some freaky flirty-ness to occur.

    And, hell, I have a Yahoo account, but I also have like 50-leven other email accts that I use for different purposes. One for junk mail, one for bills only, one for personal, one for the blog, one for those in the e-world who I don’t want to know my real name, etc. It’s a shame, really.

  • http://reformedsoutherngal.blogspot.com KitKatCuty84

    Lovely blog. I stumbled upon your page and I’ve enjoyed it thus far. 🙂

  • udee

    “If a woman still uses Yahoo for her email carrier, well, I’m just going to assume she also still forwards chain emails to ten of her friends just so she can be blessed for the next 6 years.”

    Uhh I’m going to go ahead and pretend to be totally defensive: I’ve hated chain letters since the first time I got one from a classmate in the third grade, who insisted I follow through and write all these letters (this was before the era of email, so imagine writing like 8 letters manually…I had to stay up past bedtime for this junk!). I remember being so scared!

    So since then, no more – manual or electronic. I’m pretty sure my life is all kinds of blessed.

    I still like Yahoo. I also use Gmail. Just sayin

  • J

    Interesting… all that from “Go to bed”? I think the root of the problem is poor perceptions and assumptions.