How To Buy A Gift For A Man (Hint, Hint)
It happens all the time.
A female friend of mine hits me on chat or texts me or emails me and says, “I don’t know what to get my boyfriend for his birthday, what should I do?” Now, in defense of the women who ask me this question, their ignorance can usually be attributed to their man’s apathy when it comes to receiving gifts. They ask their man what he wants for his birthday, he says he doesn’t care. Or sometimes, he buys what he wants on his own. I know I have been guilty of both in the past.
But the older I get, the more reciprocity I demand. Women always know exactly what they want for their birthday and if they don’t, they still expect something. Well, it’s time for men to start expecting and demanding the same from their women.
Even if I don’t know what I want, don’t let that be an excuse to show up empty handed on my birthday, ladies. Today, for the last post I write before my birthday on Sunday (hint, hint), a helpful how-to for all the women out there who don’t know how to buy their man a gift or what to get him when he asks for nothing.
Sports Fans Are The Easiest
If your man likes sports, especially if he roots for specific teams, get him some apparel. Ask my dad how much Pittsburgh paraphernalia he has accumulated over the years. When my sister and I were growing up we never knew what to get him specifically, so we always got him something with Pittsburgh Steelers on it, whether it was a coffee mug, a pillow, or a sweatshirt.
Now if this is a man you really, really love and you want to spend some serious dough on him, get him tickets to a sporting event. I’m not really a Yankees fan or a Mets fan, but if a woman bought me tickets to either one of their home games, I’d be overjoyed (hint hint) because one of my favorite things to do growing up was going to Oakland A’s and San Francisco Giants games with my family. Oh and good seats too. Ladies, you wouldn’t want your man to buy you nosebleed section tickets for the Beyoncé concert, would you? So get him tickets on the 50 yard line of a football game, behind home plate at a baseball game, or as close to court side as possible for a basketball game.
Remember: Hobbies And Passions
If your man isn’t into sports like that, get him something for his hobby or passion. I am friends with a beautiful married couple. The husband is really into boxing, and started to get into training himself. For the gift — I don’t remember the exact occasion, could have been Christmas or the husband’s birthday — the wife bought her husband a whole bunch of boxing equipment and she was showing me all the pictures of him posing with his gifts like a kid with his brand new bike. See ladies? Hobbies and passions.
About Buying Us Clothes
Don’t ever buy us clothes. I remember one time for my birthday, a girl of mine was trying to buy a blazer for me. I felt insulted. Even stylish men only buy the clothes they need, not always the clothes they want. If I needed a blazer, I would have already bought one, but I had one already. If you want to buy us something clothes related, we will gladly accept. Things like tie bars, cuff links, or even taking our suits in to get tailored are great gifts. Also, hats. Hats are great gifts for the men who look good in them (hint, hint).
The Whole Dinner Thing
Take me out to eat. Don’t cook for me. Even if you can cook, don’t. Women who cook for their man on their birthday or any other time of year are a dime a dozen, and I appreciate the effort, but you know what I never see? A woman who picks up the check. Well, actually, I do see it, but only as often as a shooting star.
Three things, real simple: Watches, cologne, gadgets
A woman once told me, a woman should never have to buy her own jewelry, flowers or perfume. Well, men should never have to buy their own watches, cologne, or iPads. Remember that and you will go far.
Birthday Sex is Not a Gift, It’s an Obligation
And in case you forgot about that one, read this post on the five times I prefer not to have sex. But this is only for those who are in a relationship. Ladies, if you know a man who is not in a relationship (ahem, cough) and you want to give him sex for his birthday, well, that’s completely acceptable.
Live Music or Comedy
For Christmas one year, my ex girlfriend gave me tickets to Chris Rock’s New Year’s Eve show at Madison Square Garden. Still up there as one of the greatest gifts of all time. The show or concert doesn’t have to be on my birthday, it can be months down the line, but if the tickets are for sale around my birthday, get them. If anything, that’s helping you out ladies. Whenever I get the urge to break up with you, I know I have to wait until after the show date. Think of it as a gift for us and an insurance policy for you.
Laugh at My Jokes Even If They’re Not Funny
This is for all those women who got offended by the last sentence I wrote above.
A Box Set of Something
In my crib is all the Rocky movies in a box set, bought for me on my birthday by a girl I used to date. We’re no longer together, and don’t really talk like we used to, but I still have the box set, and I think about her every time I pop one of those DVDs into my television. Box sets make a great gift because they recognize a man’s passion for something and they have a regal quality to them. If you have a man into jazz, any one of the Miles Davis box sets are great. I have this one my mother gave me, and a Charles Mingus set from his years on Atlantic Records.
And Finally, What You Can Get Jozen for His Birthday
You all didn’t think I wasn’t going to let this post go by without asking for something for my born day, did you? No hints. Here’s what I ask.
The Black Weblog Awards are coming up and right now they’re accepting nominations in certain categories. If you all would be so kind, please nominate me in whichever category you see fit. What’s great about this is 1) You don’t have to be black to vote. 2) It costs you nothing more than a little bit of your time.
Now I’m not going to make a big deal about this and put up some widget to ask people to nominate me because, well, I don’t know, I just don’t want to go that hard. Maybe I’ll provide a link at the end of each post between now and when the nomination deadline arrives. But yeah, for my birthday, which is on Sunday, please, nominate me. Thanks in advance. Here’s the link