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Poppin’ The Questions 9

Before I say anything, let me first say thank you to all the readers who reached out to me and wished me a happy birthday. I appreciate the love you all have for me and I definitely love you all back.

That being said, this weekend was a long one, filled with plenty of good times. As a result, I’m tired and kind of don’t feel well, which is why I’m so happy to do today’s “Poppin’ The Questions”. It’s been a couple of weeks since the last one, so let’s get right into it. And for those who do ask me a question I don’t answer, I apologize. Some of them are repeat questions I’ve answered already or maybe there’s another reason. Even so, I’m going to try and develop a way to answer those questions off site.

Oh, and just a reminder, these are all real questions from real people who are really anonymous via my formspring.


Can you write a blog on how to approach the different types of women? 1. Sorority girl / woman 2.Older woman aka career professional 3. Young professional (just out of school) 4 and 5 you can make up…

Thank you for the suggestion, but if I do decide to tackle this subject, I probably won’t write it as such a how-to-guide for men. I find men kind of resist advice when it comes to approaching women. I think we’re interested in each others strategy, but ultimately, whenever we do see a woman we approach, we do whatever we come up with and if it works, great. If not, oh well. For me, part of this blog is kind of leading by example, so what I would probably do is talk about the time I approached an older woman by working as a barback in a fine dining restaurant when I was going to college in D.C. As a matter of fact, I most definitely will blog about that. Stay tuned!

Scenario: Girl meets guy. Guy is awesome but guy is moving across the country in less than two months. Girl and guy remain “friends” (yes it needed quotations). Girl hangs out with guy and his roommates. Guy get territorial. Can girl date roommate?

Scenario: Girl can date roommate because girl is grown woman and can do what she wants. Girl can also give “friend” the middle finger. If girl dates roommate that is practically what girl is doing to “friend”. As is roommate. Girl should think about it some more and ultimately do whatever she is comfortable with doing. Girl should also hope guy is not moving back from across the country anytime soon.

Jozen, Why do guys always ask me to send them a picture of myself…even if I see them on a regular basis? I really hope it’s not for what I think it’s for…

You clearly need to read the “Please No Pictures” post I wrote a while back. What makes you a guy wants a picture of things on you he’s already seen? They’re asking you for a picture of the things your clothes cover, but if I were you, I wouldn’t do it when he asks. Surprise him instead. It’s a lot more effective that way.

Do you prefer light skin or dark skin women?

I don’t have a preference to be honest and I despise it when someone tries to suggest otherwise. Beauty, to me, is not conditional. If you’re fine, I see that and I want it. Doesn’t matter, the wrapping it comes in.

Would you date someone that messaged you on Facebook?

Yes, because sometimes, social networks are the only way we can initiate something. I once knew this girl through mutual friends, and only interacted with her twice, both times really brief. In between the first and second time we met though is when I decided to friend her. We had enough mutual friends in common for me to feel like she wasn’t going to decline. Then, after the second time we saw each other, I hit her a couple of days later and said, “Look, I know this is not ideal but every time we see each other, it’s real brief, and the next time I see you, I would like it to be longer than five minutes and more than just a hello. So even though this might not be the best way to ask someone out on a date, I figure I’ll take my chances…” And we ended up going out. As long as you come correct, it doesn’t matter how you do it.

On a scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being “you seriously need to get a life” and 1 being “oh that’s perfectly normal” — how lame is it to have a massive crush on a writer you’ve never met?

I would put it right there at a five – five being it’s perfectly normal to have a crush on someone you follow through Twitter, but it should be balanced with at least one crush you have in real life. This way everyone knows you step away from your computer from time to time.

After the post “Do You Want Me To Show You?”, have you ever considered learning to speak Spanish?

Only if I can the same way I learned how to say “Do you want me to show you?” Honestly though, I don’t know Spanish or Japanese, of which I’m both, and it’s kind of a shame. Maybe some woman should have got me Rosetta Stone in Spanish for my birthday.

What’s your issue with Yahoo! e-mail addresses?

I don’t really have an issue with women who have Yahoo! email addresses, I just find it a little amusing when so many people are upping their email game. To me, a Yahoo! email address is kind of like the VHS of email addresses. I’ll watch a movie on the VCR if that’s all you got, but don’t expect a couple of jokes about it.

So have you dated someone and got those high school feelings? You know when you are giddy and just want to laugh every time you are near them.

You know what? I have. In high school.

But, no really, I suppose you asked me this question because that’s what you’re going through now and honestly cherish it, but allow the feelings to evolve. Understand that just because those feelings might be lost, doesn’t mean their dead. Too many people base their breakups on a feeling they no longer have and it’s really not fair to either party.

Has your dating/social life increased ten-fold because of this blog? Would you date someone that was already a UIGM fan?

I touched on this recently in a blog entitled, “Technically, You Don’t Need To Start A Blog To Get Women.” And I think I kind of came off as defensive.

To suggest this blog hasn’t helped at all, would be a lie. More women know me because of the blog, so naturally, my social life is going to increase, and it definitely has. They’re not necessarily lining up to be with me, but yes, it has happened where I’ve dated a woman who introduced herself to me as a fan of my site.

In regards to whether or not I would seriously date a woman who was a fan of my site, I have no problems with that. To be honest, the site is kind of the best way to get to know me outside of conversations directly with me. Those who know me in real life but also read my blog, know me better because of it. Even my best friends, my boys, know me better because there are things I talk about here that I don’t talk about in person.

I think the problem is perception and how some people think I use my blog to get women. I don’t use my blog to do anything more than get me more success as a writer and make an impact on people’s lives.

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  • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

    I am glad you enjoyed your birthday:) Hope you feel better too. Now to the questions.

    It’s funny that so many commenters have yahoo accounts. I am glad you answered that question because I was wondering the same thing. Funny thing is I also have a VCR. Yea, it’s attached with the DVD. Crazy!

    “I think the problem is perception and how some people think I use my blog to get women. I don’t use my blog to do anything more than get me more success as a writer and make an impact on people’s lives.”

    Well said my friend! You are impacting a lot of lives. Continue to allow GOD to use your life.

  • http://yesijukebox.blogspot.com Yesi Jukebox

    Thanks for bringing back “Poppin’ The Questions” I kinda missed it..

  • Sunkissed404

    ” Do you prefer light skin or dark skin women?”

    – Good answer. I wish people would move on from this..It’s so 1930s to feel some kind of way about a person’s complexion…but I have met people who still care. I prefer anyone I’m attracted to. *shrugs shoulders*

    “Would you date someone that messaged you on Facebook?”
    Ummmm…not sure how I feel about this one yet. You’re right tho’. I probably would feel more relaxed talking to the person if we had friends in common….So true. Still don’t know how I feel about it tho’.

    The only pics I’ve ever sent guys is of my face…All the other stuff is for the birds…(ie-naked pics)

  • Jasmine

    I love your blogs!! I too despise it when people ask me if I prefer dark skin or light skin men. I go to Howard Univ. where the guys range from a variety of shades. Like you stated, “Beauty, to me, is not conditional. If you’re fine, I see that and I want it. Doesn’t matter, the wrapping it comes in.” LOL

  • ericka

    Happy belated birthday. You are an astute writer. Thanks for sharing your gift.

    Wait! The rest of the world has graduated from Yahoo!? Since when? I did not get THAT memo. (jotting down “change email address” on this week’s to-do list — lol)

  • **inquiring mind**

    @Sunkissed404
    “It’s so 1930s”- bwahahahaha hilarious!

    @ericka
    LOL… I think men are the only ones that have this hang-up… smh

  • V

    “Too many people base their breakups on a feeling they no longer have and it’s really not fair to either party.” – Please expand.

  • Marvalyn

    I’m moving back to Harlem after college. Where are some good spots to hang out?
    (I’ve been back a few times but never left the house)

  • goalawal

    Thanks for answering our questions

  • http://thecandyshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

    I agree with the answer to that last question. I recently started a blog and have had more than one person that I know and love tell me that they have come to know me better via my writing.

  • Demi

    I love Popping the Questions! I also love ol’ girl who asked the question about dating her “friend’s” roommate…she makes my current situation seem as pure as freshly fallen snow.

  • http://basikconcepts.wordpress.com/ trinity

    Great post as always…I love these…i used to fall into that I am only attrceted to chocolate kinda thing…but I am moving out of that phase and re-learning to appreciate all forms or chocolate all over again 🙂

  • Julie

    i think the light skinned/dark skinned question/commentary is soo 1987.

  • Julie

    lol just read Sunkissed404 comment…yeah 1930s for real!!

  • gallerina82

    Great post! Love your response to asking someone out on Facebook. A similar situation happened to me. There was a guy who I shared mutual friends with and would see him every once and a while, however, when he asked me out via Facebook it was this message like “wanna go out a date sometime?” I thought, “how random!” It totally turned me off and I was initially attracted to this guy. However, I love your response it was very well put…if he written something similar (but in his own way) I definitely would have said yes.

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    LOL, we should love all kinds of chocolate. Delish in their own ways.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • http://www.teaandsuch.blogspot.com Tea

    “To suggest this blog hasn’t helped at all, would be a lie. More women know me because of the blog, so naturally, my social life is going to increase, and it definitely has.”

    You know, I think I left like three comments arguing… er… um… discoursing with other commenters on “Technically, You Don’t Need to Start a Blog to Get Women” that were saying exactly what you just said above. (Or at least that what I was trying to say). #thatisall