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The Real Reason He Didn’t Call Her Back After She Gave It Up

I actually just wrote close to 900 words on this subject, only to see it all get erased by WordPress, so I’m going to skip the semantics of my introduction I wrote in the previous draft and instead just get right into it.

So here it is, as the title says, the real reason men don’t call women back after sex.

Every time a woman gives it up to a man and immediately sees her phone calls not being returned and her emails being ignored, she usually has a long list of theories. These theories include everything from she gave it up to soon, to the man lied to her and is actually in a relationship. Well how about this theory: The reason a man isn’t calling the woman back after she gave it up is because the woman was bad in bed — as in not good, as in so not good he doesn’t want to do it again, as in because he doesn’t want to do it again, he won’t be calling her back anytime soon.

Don’t believe me? Ask a male friend or acquaintance right now.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

See? I told you.

Now every woman is sure to ask, what constitutes bad sex, and the truth is, I don’t know. But I do know I’ve had it, and I one of the effects of it is never wanting to have sex with the same person again.

When it comes to men, there are two types. Those who care about their reputation in the bedroom and those who don’t. For the sake of this conversation, pay no attention to the latter. Instead, let’s focus on the former individual. This is the type of guy who knows if he doesn’t come with his A game, he’s probably never going to hear from the woman again. I’ve been this guy a couple of times in my life. Try to put on the best show possible, and instead of applause, I’m hearing the woman’s voice mail in the subsequent days and weeks after.

Oh well, sometimes, that’s the way it goes. As a man, I understand this. Women on the other hand, never understand this.

In the conversations I have had with all the men I know who settle down, one of the common denominators I notice is the women with whom they are settling down is the sex is off the hook. That’s what they say and that’s what makes sense. I mean, honestly, who in their right mind believes if a man really was given the time of his life he wouldn’t go back for repeat visits? Men, moreso than women, are creatures of habit. So when we find something we like, we continue to go back to the well over and over. No man ever says, “That was great! I NEVER want to do it again!” And for us, sex has to be great in order for us to continue having sex with the same person, it can’t just be good. Good sex only keeps a man wanting more and more sex from more and more women. Great sex is what keeps a man wanting more and more sex from the woman who gave it to him.

Last week, in a post I wrote entitled “Five Compliments Women Should Learn To Appreciate”, one of the compliments I wrote was the “good in bed” compliment. The reason most women don’t appreciate hearing such a thing is because they believe a man thinks every woman is good in bed, but the truth is they’re not. In keeping with what I said last week, this is the “bad pizza theory” updated. Sex, like pizza, is good even when it’s bad. The thing is, like bad pizza, when we have bad sex, we’re never going back for a repeat visit.

Unfortunately ladies, I have no solutions for this problem. Nor do I have any advice as to how to deal with this, other than saying, it happens to the best of us. And to any woman I slept with who is reading this thinking I’m talking about you because I never called again, take no offense. You didn’t call me back either. My bad.

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  • Reggie

    You could be right, it’s possible that the sex did suck. But truth be told, it could have been for a whole slew of other reasons too; including him being married or in a commited relationship or because he had herpes and he didn’t want her to find out and blast him (I have a friend that’s famous for that one) or any number of other reasons.

    Richard Pryor once said “There’s no such thing as bad pussy. If you even think you’ve got some bad pussy then bring it over here to me and I’ll show you what it’s good for!!!”

  • Bp

    Wish the original hadn’t been erased!! This Was Great More on this topic.. Plz

  • JCC

    So one question remains What do men considered to be good sex and What do men consider to be Bad sex? I am going to admit that I will hold back on good sex if the person hasn’t made any type of committment to me. Why should I pull out all of the bells and whistles if he hasn’t done the same for me in our everyday relationship…think about that one

  • kimmy

    I like that! and to the ladies who feel they need to reserve something. get over yourselves. if you are gonna open your legs in the first place no need to hold back. piss or get off the pot.

  • dellbelle

    reggie is hilarious. “I’ll show you what it’s good for.” is such a classic line. Meanwhile, i def got the i love you. hit him w/ the gucci, you don’t love me. ten mins later i got the when are we doing this again? today. ok. Then on the goodbye i got the really, i meant what i said in bed – i love you. and then i got the ice. and i’m used to getting the back the same day. the next day. girl can i move in action – literally once charged a brother rent. like. oK. you can’t be here running my hot water every night like you stay here minus chipping in broMan. and then this one gives me ice – no dice. So I’m thinking he has a girl; he really wants something deeper and realizes i’m not what he wants; or the man is afraid. The only logical one is the first one – dude has a girl! Either way I’m losing while still gaining the freedom to keep it moving after investing a year. I am a disbeliever in this post J! 🙂

  • dellbelle

    Meanwhile, maybe the teaching him new positions and techniques after holding back for a year was the wrong idea! Haha.. he may have been wondering how I stayed up to speed and then I spazzed out after the 7 whole days thing. Oh well! Ya win some, ya lose some…

  • Ooooh No

    My girlfriend’s pussy is NOT that great and now I wonder sometime if it were better would I be happier? Mean while my ex who was clearly better has started to call again. What is a brother to do!!!

  • Southern Poise

    Interesting concept…never had to ask why he did call me back….I guess my pizza is the bomb… lol

  • Southern Poise

    follow up to my original comment:

    Exactly what makes a good ‘pizza’? Is it the sauce or the toppings???

    Something to ponder………… Maybe even to blog topic??? 🙂