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Raise Your Hand If You Want A Fat Guy Because I’m Getting Fat

A girl I once dated said the reason men should be required to go to the gym is because women are required to do so much upkeep themselves. She said, “If I need to worry about my hair, nails, makeup, weight, clothes etc. The least a man can do is try and get some nice arms.” So I stopped dating her and instead found a girl who didn’t care about her makeup or a guy’s arms.

I’m kidding.

I actually felt like she had a point back when she told me this, back when I had decent arms. As I’ve mentioned before, there was a time when I worked out religiously in my own home and it was working. It was working so well, girls I slept with would actually compliment my body. And not “You have a nice frame” compliments. These were more like…well…one girl said to me, “I had no idea you had such a nice body.” So yeah, I was definitely doing the right thing.

Then, for whatever reason I stopped and I want to start again because all jokes aside, I’m getting older and I should take better care of my body. But before I get back down on my living room floor and make my first attempt in two years at 150 pushups and 150 crunches, I need to know something. Which one of you fine women like fat guys because I love Chipotle, and I would hate to give it up over some myth that fat men don’t get fine women.

Before anyone starts commenting and saying I should find a girl who loves me for me, let’s make one thing clear. Just because someone should love me for me doesn’t mean I don’t want to do what I have to do to get as many women as possible to notice me. I certainly don’t dress like  a man who doesn’t want women to notice him, so why would I treat my body any differently?

See, this is what happened. Recently, I was having a casual conversation with a very fine woman I know. This woman is super fine. She does Yoga. She works out. All this stuff, and then she hit me with this line in the conversation: “I like chubby guys.” What?!

I didn’t delve into it with her to find out why she likes guys who are chubby, but I said to myself, Wait, why should I start working out again if there are girls like this who actually like guys who have some love handles? If I can get a girl like that and still eat all the Chipotle I want, that’d be the best of both worlds. Right?

But then recently, I started digging this girl who goes to the gym three times a week and though she never expressed to me whether she likes a fit guy or not, there’s an unspoken rule to dating women who work out. That rule is, you have to work out too. Or at least try.

So now I’m over here stuck between a gym and a Chipotle, wondering which one I should walk into more often. I look at my body now and I think, it’s not so bad, but you know, it’s definitely not what it used to be. To give you all an idea of how different it actually is from the days when women were complimenting my body post-trysts, this is what a woman said to me after a more recent tryst: “What are these for?”

She was talking about a pair of weights I have that are sitting in my bedroom.

You see? Two years ago, women used to say, “You have such a nice body. You must work out.” Now they’re asking me why I own a pair of weights!

The other dilemma I’m dealing with is I don’t know how good I look as I get fatter. When women say they like chubby guys or guys with a belly, I think those types of guys have some charm to go along with their high cholesterol. Me on the other hand? My charm is more skinny guy charm (if I ever get as fat as I was skinny, maybe I can talk about the difference between both) because I used to be a skinny guy. So yeah, whether or not I wear my fat well is another issue I’m dealing with.

But now that I think about it, and I recall certain conversations I had with female friends of mine who ended up getting done dirty by some guy who had a gut, I think maybe it’s best if I cut back on the Chipotle. Every time some woman gets done wrong by a big guy, she always takes some low blow at him. She says, “Forget him and his man boobs!” And I always think, damn, that’s low, then I go into the bathroom mirror and make sure I don’t have man boobs myself (I don’t).

So yeah, I think I’m just going to start doing these pushups again because even though I did the girl who complimented me on my body wrong, I know she didn’t go back and talk about some man boobs. She was probably like, “Oooh, I hate Jozen. He’s such a jerk with a nice body.”

Yeah, let me be that guy. Glad we had this talk.

Categories: dating, guys, on something, women Tags:

    I prefer a guy who is fit. My husband isn’t skinny but if he gained about 60 pounds, I think I would still be attracted to him. He has gained 30 pounds before and he was still sexy as hell to me… but that’s probably cause I’m in love with him. I can’t say that I find other heavy men that I see out and about attractive…

  • Yesi Jukebox

    Another great post. And though I’m not exactly raising my hand, I don’t need a guy with abs so long as he does have nice arms he can wrap me in.

  • Mr. A

    Dammit, I was/am that guy and I was blissfully ignorant to what women may have possibly said. That’s all gone now and now I’m sure they’ve said much worse. Guess I better drag my mammoth sized ass to the gym so I can break hearts with some dignity. Great post.

  • Keia

    I don’t need my man to be super fit, as long as the man boobs and belly are nowhere in the vicinity, it’s all good. Sure what woman wouldn’t turn down a man with washboard abs, but it’s not a requirement.

    And FYI, men who are tall tend to carry their weight better.

  • Teddy

    *slowly raises hand* I admit it..I kinda dig chubby guys too and I work out *ye shrug* . . . . there’s just something about the big guys *sigh* :)….I just won’t do “sloppy fat” because that is seriously a health problem and it’s unattractive to almost any and everyone. I say just take care of yourself and stay in good health and if when you look in the mirror you’re happy with what you see then women will notice that and it’s sexy….so preserve ur sexy! 🙂 If you’re feelin less confident in yourself or a bit ashamed that you’ve let yourself go then that should be motivation enough to hit up a gym or join somebody’s class and get it together.

  • Farah

    You are so right about the low blows that get delivered after a break-up. I once dated a chubby guy and after it was over, it was “Forget him and his big ol’ gut.” I think his lack of physical activity was more unattractive than his actual chubbiness…and yeah, he did me wrong.

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  • dbaby11

    Stocky men are my thing!!! there is something about the way he can wrap his arms around me and swallow me….. *fans self*. i am a curvy(shapely) woman and when i hug a man i like the feeling of overpowerment. so honestly he can work out or we can cook “tacos” all day long, as long as i’m feeling him it doesnt matter. as long as he is not super skinny.i do not want to feel like i should be running 20 miles everynight on the treadmill.:-)

  • Renae

    My stomach hurts…from laughing at this post.

  • Renae

    But honestly, as long as his chest is wide enough for me to lay my head, and his arms are strong enough to hold me, that’s all that matters.

  • Miss. Riss

    So now I’m over here stuck between a gym and a Chipotle, wondering which one I should walk into more often.

    HILARIOUS! Sometimes I hate reading your blog at work, cause I definitely bust out with a loud laugh time to time. LOL

    Its best to just keep your body the way you feel most comfortable, and you seem like a guy who likes to look good all around.

    I recently started going to the gym, cause well, I just didn’t like what I was seeing, and I’m my biggest fan, so if I think its getting out of hand, someone else probably will do. But now, I love it!

  • mentos

    Hey I heart chipotle too! Is one open yet? I say eat your burrito bowl and be happy! Loved this post!

  • Tasha

    TOO FUNNY! BTW – Even if you had a nice body I am sure she found something to say about you that was not “Oooh, I hate Jozen. He’s such a jerk with a nice body.” We can ALWAYS think of something when we get mad! lol

  • SB

    This was an interesting post. I feel that a nice body takes a man very far with most women but I do tend to like a bigger man. I do not need a man with a perfect T.O. body…that is nice to look at but that would make me feel more self conscious about my own body because with my work schedule, I only workout 3 times week. I prefer a nice take solid frame over flabby any day. Nice strong arms and a strong back beat a six pack anyday. Over 6 feet and a solid 220-230…that is my speed right there…

  • Janine

    Jeez it was so much easier to go to chipotle before they put the dang calorie count up there 671…really???!!! I want this burrito bowl (badly – I heart rice)…but I also would like to not be concerned about my appearance when I put on my new “designer” bikini b/c this weekend my boyfriend spontaneously decided we’re driving to the beach for three days…:( its not FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • MissMina

    This was ignorant on so many counts! “Oooh, I hate Jozen. He’s such a jerk with a nice body.” LMAO.

    The importance of being Sexy While Fat is your attitude. But clearly, you are a bit self-conscious about the weight, and there is nothing sexy about a man doubting his sexy. So I think u should put the work in for your own peace of mind, since sex appeal starts in the head.

    Plus, you don’t want to feel like your girl has to force herself not to glance at the guy running down the street beside you with his shirt off and nice body, just because she may never see such a sight again. You know?

  • Vic Louis

    Sees weights and ask “What are these for?”
    Unless she really didn’t know what they were, that’s a low blow. Ego drop-kick!

    I’ve seen plenty of fat (and the complete opposite) non-rich guys with a beautiful girlfriend or wife on their arm. Swagger goes a long way I suppose.

  • taurusitalia

    Don’t stop going to Chipotle…they have the best guacamole! LOL!!! I think the concept behind someone who is “fit” is you have to respect the discipline it takes to keep up with working out. We all put on the weight at some point in our 20’s lol & wonder how it snuck up on us. You have to find what is comfortable for you & still be able to exude confidence. Women like “strong” guys & that comes in different forms, not just a guy with abs. Strength is attractive. :o)

    I think you need to address a post on “thick” women, because there are tons of beautiful women…who are thick & don’t know if we are coming or going with men.

  • **inquiring mind**

    LOL @ alladis… My favorite parts:

    “So I stopped dating her and instead found a girl who didn’t care about her makeup or a guy’s narms.” I peed.

    “Which one of you fine women like fat guys because I love Chipotle, and I would hate to give it up over some myth that fat men don’t get fine women.”

    “Oooh, I hate Jozen. He’s such a jerk with a nice body.” For why?

    Seriously tho, Jozen DO NOT believe the hype… while SOME(I do mean NOT all) chubby guys get hella play it AIN’T for everybody (you see the emphasis I keep placing on NEGATIVES, this is me mind f!cking you… much like the women that tell you chubby is sexy… it’s sexy on SOME, as in very few… as in men that are over 6′ word to Keia- so you may have a chance)

    I say trust your gut and when that sucka starts looking round/sloppy to you- trust me it looks round/sloppy to us too… take that @ss to the gym and have Chiptole for dinner on your way out… see it’s all about balance.

  • Mdot

    Semi Long time reader, first time commenter. Thanks for having me… So I feel like Im on the opposite spectrum. Im the chubby girl who gets the ridiculously fit dudes. Personal Trainers: Check. Marathon Runners: Check. Army dude who trains like hes about to get dropped into Afghanistan…NOW: Check. So part of me is like “yeah Mdot, you’re a bad chick” but the other side of me is like “oh does this brotha think Im a project?!?”.

  • Tea

    This post is hilarious. I preferred chiseled fellas since you’re asking, but I can’t say I discriminate. If he’s a cutie, I’ll give it a chance, fat rolls or skinny bones.

    And there’s no reason to stop going to Chipotle. I actually eat Chipotle RIGHT after I work out. My justification is that I was going to eat it anyway. I’m still doing better than folks eating Chipotle and NOT going to the gym. Breaking even on the scale equals winning. What can I say, I love tasty food.

    Last point, you need to work out because hypertension, diabetes and many other health ailments are caused and/or exacerbated by obesity. Women are varied and diverse, so someone is going to want exactly what you’re working with, but she’ll want you to be around for as long as possible. So please exercise. 🙂

  • Mississ

    I’ve observed that a man who is a 2 often still thinks he should have a woman whose a 10. Meanwhile a woman whose a 12 will date a man whose a 4 because he’s “really thoughtfull” or “makes me laugh.” I think most women date the whole guy. Looks are a part of that package but its usually not the sole basis for our decision to ride with you. Unless your smile looks like a jack-o-lantern or breathing your air makes MY arteries harden…then we’re likely to at least give you a chance.

    Plus…I like a thicker man because I don’t want to roll over in the middle of the night and crush him.

  • Alisha

    I kinda like thick guys. I’ve always been an extremist–either hula-hooping through a Cheerio or a lil weight on him. I think I find it appealing because I’m so small. I feel safer with bigger (and taller. I’m 5’10) guys. Also, my dad’s super slim, as I am, but the guys on mom’s side are thick, too. Maybe that has something to do with it.

    Maybe you just need a balance, Jozen. Chipotle, then the gym.

  • Stephanie

    I definitely saw this post as one of honesty..You definitely laid yourself out there for us to see. I completely see where you are coming from. Its comfort vs other people’s perceptions. I personally dont work out and could stand to lose a few pounds. So I have never required my man to be a gym rat. I say do you!!! Go to the gym to feel good about yourself. That certain woman will come along..Plus if you do a woman wrong she will always have something bad to say anyway…We are creative!

  • Crystal

    I have to admit…I love the chubbies. I workout somewhat regularly and eat healthy most of the time. I think my proclivity for the “big man” started in jr. high because my very 1st bf was a big guy. Loved him. Anyway, oddly enough then I’ve only been with one other big fella, but all of my gentleman since have had pudge and hips (Im a sucker for big legs). I don’t dig skinny men at all and I really could do without the cuts of a muscular male model type (note: as a woman, it is oh so sexy to look at). I prefer the offensive lineman type not “sloppy fat” as someone mentioned earlier….a nice blend of fat and muscle does it for me all day. Signed, A Chubby Lover 🙂

  • Theryl

    It’s a sad day when all this body image obsession has crossed over to MEN! We’ve got to do better. Now yeah, we all have a specific type, and we don’t like everyone that likes us, but that’s what we have to remember….we shouldn’t and won’t! Lol. Life is short. Eat the damn Chipotle. I’m all about being fit and healthy, and I want a bad ass body, but because I want one. Lol. I’m still pulling dudes just as I am!

  • Tati

    I like em thick, stocky, or whatever word fits the bill. A man who loves to eat and enjoys food is super sexy in my book. Yea the fit gym body is great to look at but when I think about my man hugging up next to me I want to feel him not a rock. He can be that without ever walking foot into a gym. I am with everyone else; if you feel good when you look in the mirror and your healthy don’t worry about the rest. I’ve never seen a bad picture of you so you’re doing something right.

  • Tiffany

    Yeah man boobs are a deal breaker. Only one of us can have fun bags. Yeah I do find that if I say I am going to the gym the whoever I am talking to at the time makes a point to mention something about his physique and what he is lacking. Oh yeah I am going have to have a man that is willing to do some squats and sculpt himself a butt of steel.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  • Phia

    @Miss. Riss
    Re: HILARIOUS! Sometimes I hate reading your blog at work, cause I definitely bust out with a loud laugh time to time. LOL

    I know!!! My co-workers are used to it by now though.


    I have read so many people’s comments about Man Boobs… something about saying that out loud makes me want to vomit… and then swallow it just to vomit again… there is something about those low hanging pointy man boobs with the little taco meat attached that makes me want to hurl….

  • Phia

    I enjoyed reading this post. I can say that I dont like skinny guys. My preference is a healthy solid man with nice arms *blushing*. Its usually not a biggie for me if you’re not living in the gym but its important that you are doing what you can to stay healthy/fit.

  • MadScientist7

    like you i love chipotle. i love foods that would traditionally make you fat. thing is i have an extraordinarily high metabolism. couple that with the fact that i’m in the gym 4-5 times a week (sometimes 2-a-days) and i pretty much have a basketball player’s build. a lot of people tell me that my metabolism will slow down eventually but looking at all the men in my family i don’t think that it will.

    i workout out in some form or fashion almost everyday (except sundays, unless i have a league game) so i would want to be with someone who cared about what her body looked like and is in some sort of shape. it may sound wrong but i think that obesity is the only prejudice that i have.

  • Alexis

    I mean a nice body is always a plus but I don’t mind if you have a bit of something to hang on to, just a bit. For the most part I’ve always dated skinny with muscles I don’t know why. In the end I would just like someone who is healthy and confident with their self. As for the man boobs, no. I can’t do it. Its not attractive to me and I wouldn’t want to make the stank face every time my man decides to cut em’ loose. No thanks!

  • Natasha

    “The importance of being Sexy While Fat is your attitude”

    That is very true sis!

    *Raises Hand* First of all this was funny. Great post! I know that women are going to find you attractive Jozen, that will not be an issue. As a big girl myself I have LOVE for big men. I don’t have a type at all actually. That’s me. From a females point of view. I stay getting my hair, nails, cloths etc sense I started working at 16!! I always felt that I had to make up for the extra weight. Also I did not want people to think if you a chubby girl you can’t be fly!

    Also, I think that women are more forgiving in the weight department than man are. If a women finds a guy funny, charming, powerful, successful he gets a pass. Men are not that way. That is not an easy thing for me, but it is real. This year I started working out. I lost 16lbs so far, most importantly I feel good about myself. At the end of the day that is what matters most right?

  • ATLOshun

    I’m a big girl that discriminates. I know, it doesn’t make much sense. I’m not generally attracted physically to fat guys. Big, thick solid guys are a bit different. There’s usually visible muscle. I just feel like, since I have a belly, you don’t need one. Only one of us needs to be soft and have jiggly parts. I don’t need our bellies competing. Besides it makes it harder to get to the good stuff.
    Ironically, I’ve only dated three big guys in my 35 years. Skinny/smaller than me dudes seem to like me.

    And yes, charm on a big guy is sexy as hell. I guess it’s similar (def not the same) with big chicks. Jozen plenty of women like chubby guys. We like something to hold on to and we want to feel your size. Kinds of makes us feel womanly. But “titty balls” like The Bawse are a no-no.

  • Kae-Toya

    i had this convo yesterday with the man i swear is meant to be my husband…………………. do the push ups we girls are worth it.

  • brownivyx

    I’ve dated and loved men of all shapes and sizes. And, I like a *little* belly. I think it’s cute. As, I tend to be more attracted to intelligence than appearance, a little meat is not a big deal…in fact, it’s preferable to uber-skinny for me.

    But, at this point, given the choice between two men of equal charms, one “fat” and one “fit”, I would go for fit, honestly.

    And here’s why:

    I’m 30. I’ve worked pretty hard for the body I have, mostly through running, reasonable eating habits, and occasional visits to the gym. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a slippery slope, and I need to be around someone who will keep me from falling off the wagon. If I’m going for a run and a trip to Whole Foods and he’s on the couch eating ice cream and wings and drinking Gentleman Jack every night, something will have to give…and it’ll probably be me (and my extra 10-20 lbs). No dice.

    His health=less worries for me. My first boyfriend, my high school sweetheart, was obese, manteets and all. I loved him regardless, because he was brilliant, artsy, and crazy…but that type of weight introduces a host of health issues that one shouldn’t have to consider at such a young age. Not-to-mention, if the relationship becomes a long-term thing and children are considered, having kids this late in the game means you almost have to be healthier than the norm to compensate for the age thing.

  • natural nubian

    jozen, women like men who are beefy–strong & tough (and at just the right times, a lil rough, tee hee hee). grown women know the days of a perfectly chiseled 6 pack stomach and chest pecks are not deal breakers because these same grown women acknowledge their own bodies are also changing. i call it “lady weight.”
    so chubbies are never a good look. but especially as you get older you have to work out, if even for only 2 days a week. it will pay off.

  • BoomShots

    Listen Dawg, the last time I saw you out at the NWSO anniversary, the lady I was with commented that you were sort of young a Al B Sure look. Her words not mine. So on reading this I bust out laughing because I know by writing this you are really pulling the skin back.

    Listen, especially in the NYC, most of the young fine thangs out here are just as if not even more superficial than some men I know. I work out, not as much as I could but enough so that I can camoflauge my flaws. Plus, I am older than most of the women I date and so part of my appeal is that I am the older guy with the nice looking body.

    I seen it and heard it too often said about my friends and acquaintances by women…”fat aging pretty boy” “overweight lova” and all types of disparaging remarks that thrown out in their wake. Don’t let it happen to you man, the older you get the harder it is to lose those extra pounds. You will see how fast these women who say they like chubby men disappear into Witness Protection.

    I work in sales and one lesson you learn over and over again is never, never take people at their word until the deal is done. Because people will lie to your face in the misguided belief that they are saving your feelings. Listen personality and talent takes you a long way in this world but thats way after your superficial looks have gotten you through the door. In my people facing profession and at this particular company where I have been employed for 5 years, I can only recall them hiring 1 overweight person. 30 plus people have probably been hored in my group over that time.

    Even fat people exhibit prejudice to other fat people. I can’t tell you how many fat chicks I hear talk about how they don’t want any fat guys and vice versa. Everytime I hear that I SMDH!!

  • onerarejewel

    Jozen, this post was so honest and forthcoming like the rest of your blog entries. I think that you are unafraid to share your human nature and am so glad that you share it with us.

    I am a thick size 14 southern sister. I workout 3-4 times a week and am a member of a run/walk club. I am active to ward off stress and because I have a family history of diabetes and heart disease on both sides of the family tree. My general practitioner and my GYN compliment me on both my low normal glucose and blood pressure numbers.

    On the flip side, I enjoy great food. I like to dine out but also know my way around the kitchen. I try to maintain a sense of balance between the two. If I overdo it, a couple of days, I watch it for the next five or so. Balance is not always easy to achieve but hey I try.

    Men often tell me how sexy I am. I’m quite sure it’s not my shape as I have my share of soft spots. I’m not “Precious Jones” but I’m also Beyonce either. I just try to be the most confident me that I possibly can.

    Jozen, whether buff or fluff, be confident and hold your head high-either way you’re still talented and handsome 😀

  • fixedwater

    “What are these for?”

    She was talking about a pair of weights I have that are sitting in my bedroom.

    You see? Two years ago, women used to say, “You have such a nice body. You must work out.” Now they’re asking me why I own a pair of weights!


    but i need to say this, i used to date this guy who used to say he didn’t want a “waterbed” (translation: fat chick where when you slap her butt it ripples across the whole body) but i remember he also seemed to very much enjoy the 10 pounds i added after my junior year – then promptly loss because he and my mother kept talking about it so much. when i did lose the weight then he was talmbout, “no man wants a bone, he needs some meat!”
    so i say this, be healthy and happy someone is going to be attracted to you – ya know cause you all charmin and whatnot *starryeyed voice*
    but rest assured if you end up with man-boobs, i will be talking bout you. while i’m talkin about how much the gym needs to see me, i’ve never had to workout though…but its about that time for me too.

  • KB

    This is the part that killed me: “What are these for?”


    Personally, I can’t do a fat dude. My first boyfriend was definitely on the chubby side…inching closer to obese the longer we were together. Since we broke up, I have not dated or done nasty things with anyone else with a tire around the waist. I just can’t. Part of this is that I like shorter guys (because I’m pretty short, and I don’t like straining my neck to look at/hug/kiss a guy who’s taller than 5’11.” You can’t be short AND wide! So most of the guys I’ve dated since him have been the slender-but-strong type, with a few truly banging athlete-type bodies sprinkled in for good measure.

    This is the way I look at it…once you start to feel uncomfortable in your own body, then it’s time to make a change. If you don’t really care about gaining weight, then it is what it is… you’re getting fat, but some girl out there will look at you think you’re FINE.

    (please know that I have a few girlfriends who are plus-sized and do not at ALL find fat guys attractive…just throwing that out there.)

    However, based on the entirety of this blog, I’m inclined to believe that you may be the slightest bit embarrassed about your weight gain…in which case…like Ms. @**inquiring mind** said,
    it’s time to start working out, homie. 🙂

  • Kady

    Hahaha… this blog was hilarious!!!!

    As a girl who workouts just enough to never get sloppy (meaning no rolls or <3 handles), I will say I definitely look for a guy who keeps his body in check also.
    I've dated one guy who I would consider fat, he was maybe 5’8 and always kept his shirt on during playtime. He wasn’t even that fat, just maybe need to lose 15lbs and tone up. To me I will find a tall fat guy attractive, but if he is short and round like the dream there is no hope. And even if he is tall, it needs to be, I’m a “big guy” fat, not “obesed” with rolls like Riky Ross.

    I would say switch to the Borrito bowl and start working out again, you don’t want to be the “I keep my shirt on” guy.

  • Pamela

    Fit is good. Skinny is not. Women like a man they feel can protect them if need be. A man with a little meat fits the ticket.

  • Cristina

    MY hand is raised! More in a “I do NOT want a skinny dude”-way. If your hips are smaller than mine, I’m on to the next one. This is of course due to the last relationship I was in with a super skinny guy. The guy I casually see now frets about his self proclaimed man-boobs (I disagree he has them) he is sexy as hell… sexier than when I first met him 3 or 4 years ago.

  • Fat isn’t attractive

    Most women don’t find fat men attractive at all. Just like most men don’t find fat girls attractive either. They could be nice and have a cute fact but they will have no feelings for them. The prettier the girl the more restricting she is. They will lie and say they like chubby boys. But they don’t mean it, unless his rich of course.

    Women lie to men (that have no intention of dating) all the time. Some girls just like to lead men on and are flattered by the attention that any men gives her. One clue she’s not interested in you, if she’s making a statement saying upfront what type of men she likes. She doesn’t like you. If she says she likes chubby men but hasn’t made any attempts to make you her boyfriend (and you are chubby) she doesn’t like you. She only likes the fact that you find her attractive. Nothing more. If you are a girl’s friend, she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend. Otherwise you wouldn’t be her friend.

    Likes attract likes, some attractive slim girls generally seek attractive slim men. It’s the way of life. If you are overweight and you want an attractive girl, you’re going to have to go to the gym or get extremely wealthy. If looks don’t matter to you than you can get as big and as broke as you like. No shade, its just the way it is.

  • JCC

    I think guys just like women who don’t take care of their bodies have low self esteem. If you understand the importance of being healthy then you wouldn’t be walking around with a gut and Moobs (Man boobs) I am sorry but there is nothing less attractive then these two things especially when we are about to get intimate and you keep your shirt on. I am the type of gal that likes to get chest to chest and feel each others sweat. I want to feel his sweat that is right. A fit man will also be able to perform better in bed I mean come on sex is a cardio workout already. So I mean there are many benefits for staying healthy and in the gym and you can still enjoy your Chipoltle too. There is nothing wrong with indulging as long as it is a healthy dose of indulgence

  • Danni

    Eh, I really don’t think it matters to women THAT much. Yes, we’d prefer someone physically fit. And no, you can’t be obese. But if you get me to fall in love with you, you could have a pregnant woman’s belly and I swear on all I know I’d see a six-pack.

  • citygirl22

    I have to say, I’m a bit dismayed by some of the sweeping generalizations about who’s lying and who cares about what. The fact of the matter is, EVERYONE IS JUST DIFFERENT.

    I’m quite certain of this, however, applying to most people (men and women): Someone, somewhere will find you attractive even if you were to let yourself go a bit. But, if YOU don’t feel like you’re on your A-game, you become that much less appealing.


  • mimi

    I like a range from chubby guys to guys that are fit. I don’t like the extreme ends of either side of the spectrum.