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Home > Work, writing > So A Year Ago I Started This Blog…

So A Year Ago I Started This Blog…

Well folks, it’s official. “Until I Get Married” is one year old. In honor of the day, this is the first of two posts. At the bottom of this post you can click to the second one entitled, “Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Confusingly Pretty Girl Edition”, if you haven’t read it already.

I really don’t know what to say because I still don’t know whether or not I intended to be doing it for this long when I started it. But here we all are, one year later, and though people usually like to say things like, “Wow it went by so fast,” I don’t feel that way at all. As a matter of fact, I feel like it’s taken me a long time to get here, but I’m fine with that because I plan on doing this for a very long time.

For the last year, I have written five days a week the majority of weeks and I can’t say it’s been easy. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do as a writer. But the fact is, I’m also now obsessed with maintaining this blog. I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.

My main mission with UIGM was to start the kind of relationship blog people could relate to, not just debate with or bounce ideas off. Like I always tell folks, the key word in the title of my blog is I because it’s about me, but it’s for everyone.

Since I started this blog, a lot has happened to me and I have chosen to share most of it, for better or worse. There was the death of one of my best friends, the wedding of another best friend and my quest to find a date for the occasion. I became an uncle for the first time and I struggled with the one year anniversary of my biological father’s death.

All of this stuff and more has happened to me and for whatever reason I always put it out there. I don’t do it because I think so many people care about what I went through. I do it because I think so many people have gone through similar things, and whenever I post some of my more personal posts, it’s refreshing to see comments that say things along the lines of, “I went through that same thing.” Things like that confirm the feeling I had when I started this blog; the feeling that my story isn’t a unique one, so much as it is a shared one, and someone out there has to know what I’m going through because they went through it too.

I want to sincerely thank every single person who has ever read my post. For me, it’s been an honor to write for you and believe me when I say, I have no plans to stop anytime soon. If anything, this is just the beginning, so be on the look out for some more things in the coming months from UIGM. My business partner and I are doing everything we can to take this concept to the next level and I hope you come along for that journey.

Now before I get out of here, a couple of things I’m going to ask from all of you.

The first is very important because I’m only going to ask this once, and the favor has a time limit. Here it is:

Because of you all, I am nominated in four different categories for this year’s Black Weblog Awards. The categories in which I’m nominated are as follows

Best Sex/Relationships Blog
Best Personal Blog
Best Writing In A Blog
Blog of the Year

Before I ask anything of you guys, let me first say thank you for this honor. Nominees are decided by votes, so to be nominated in all of these categories is a testament to the support you all give me. It’s a humbling thing just to be on the list.

Of course now, I would like to win at least one. But I’m not going to be stumping for votes between now and the August 31 deadline. This will pretty much be the only time I ask you all to vote for me, though I do believe you can vote more than once. So here’s the link to the ballots. Thank you again, to all who have supported me and honored me with enough votes to get me nominated. If I win anything, I’ll celebrate.

Now for the second favor:

Back when I wrote my 200th post in April, I asked all those who read my blog to go into the comments section and tell me how long they’ve been reading UIGM, where they’re from, and how they discovered the blog. Well, since then I’ve received quite a few more readers, and I would appreciate for those who have come along after April or never left a comment on my 200th post to please do so in honor of my one year anniversary. The greatest joy I get from doing this blog is knowing it’s being read by people from all over, so this is your opportunity to reveal yourself and let me know where you all are from and how you got here.

Once again thank you to everyone for the support. It’s been one hell of a year. Enjoy the ride as I keep it going.

In honor of my one year, for the first time I decided to do two post. The first one is the one you just read and here is the second one: “Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Confusingly Pretty Girls Edition”

Categories: Work, writing Tags:
  • Kae-Toya

    Hey I’m from Antigua and Barbuda (thats an island in the Caribbean) and I found your blog through the clutch magazine article about the top 10 black men to follow on twitter.

  • Melanie Long

    Hi Jozen,
    I been a faithful reader since Aug 2009, I am sending u mich love from Birmingham, Al

  • Free Spirit Z

    Happy Anniversary and Congratulations Jozen!!

    This is Zee from Houston, TX…I met you at Essence. I’ve been a daily reader since you were featured on

    Love your style and honesty! Much success on future endeavors!!

  • ThatOneAKA

    Happy Anniversary!

    From the Midwest, currently living in the South- found about about your blog 8-9 months ago either from an Essence article or someone else’s blogroll. It’s definitely on the daily blog rotation 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and personal situations with us. I, unfortunately, do not have any brothers and your “realness” on many different topics have been insightful. I appreciate the male perspective that you provide. Keep up the good work.

  • Jen in Berkeley

    Happy Anniversary! I live in Berkeley, CA now but grew up on the east coast, so our lives are inverses of each other. Been reading since October, probably. And though I imagine a lot of your readers are single and African-American, I’m both! Love the writing.

  • Kemz


    Happy Anniversary and Congrats on your nominations : )

    I’m Kemz, I hail from Trinidad by way of Brooklyn. I found your blog a few months ago in February I want to say and I’ve been reading ever since. Loved it so much I went through the archives.

    You really have a way with words and using them to artfully express yourself. So honest too! I love that. Nothing draws me in more than someone who knows how to tell a story and isn’t just typing all willy nilly and making me skip over paragraphs, let alone sentences. Simply put, you’re talented.

    I love blogs because I get the opportunity to hear someone else’s story because like you, I believe experiences are shared and when you think you’re in it all alone, there are so many others who can relate and I for sure can relate to you.

    So with that said, I want to thank your for sharing pieces of your life and heart on here with us, so willingly and honestly and please know that we appreciate you. I wish you all the best in your endeavors and I truly see you going far with this. I know you have a good head on your shoulders but it’s never a bad thing to be reminded to “don’t forget the little people” lol.

    All the best Jozen : )


  • Kathryn

    Happy anniversary!!!!

    I’ve been reading your blog since may and have been a fan since. The first article I read was ” Why I Can’t Stand Men That Cheat”, but I don’t remember how I found ou about your article. It was probably from necolebitchie or global grind. I’m only 17 but I can definitely relate to alot of the problems

  • Kathryn

    Happy anniversary!!!!

    I’ve been reading your blog since May and have been a fan since. The first article I read was ” Why I Can’t Stand Men That Cheat”, but I don’t remember how I found out about your blog. It was probably from necolebitchie or global grind. I’m only 17 but I can definitely relate to alot of the problems You talk about everyday. It makes me feel better to know that boys do actually mature and turn into guys like you that have some kind of love for women in their entirety instead of just their bodies. This comment was supposed to be congratulating your year of amazing blogging but I just want to thank you because you’ve given me an insight to how guys feel and I’m a lot more confident with dating and approaching guys. Anyway, I know you’ll have a lot more success with UIGM, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

  • Jinx Moneypenny

    Happy Anni Jozen, and congratulations on all the success you’ve had thus far!!!
    I’ve been reading UIGM for about as long as it’s been around.
    I’m from Toronto.
    And I discovered this blog through one of the pieces you have written elsewhere… I honestly forget where exactly so my bad lol.

  • Lisa

    Yesss…I have a yahoo address! I do not think I’ve ever been a little ashamed to say that before now! Anywho, I’ve been reading your blog ever since Marc Lamont Hill retweeted the link to the article about the top 10 men to follow on Twitter. I went through each & followed a couple, but none has been a more refreshing surprise than you. I look forward, not only to your blog, but to the discussion that will ensue once I share your story!

    I’m from Chicago & fighting procrastination all the time so that I can get busy writing. I hope to one day write with the heart & soul that you do. It makes reading your work a joy, whether I agree or not (although I usually do).


  • Nicole

    Thank you for sharing! Congratulations and I look forward to staying along for the ride.

    I found your blog from a link in a relationship article. I can’t even remember where I saw it or how long I’ve been reading. I read an entry and enjoyed it so much I went back and read every entry from the beginning. I’ve since kept up reading every week. Occasionally commenting and really enjoying the community banter between the other commenters.

    I feel like I know you and know that I really don’t. I’m Nicole from Greensboro, NC. You make me want to be a better blogger.

  • lild

    Congrats on the anniversary and the noms! I’m Debbie from Queens/Long Island. Came across your blog a few months ago and went back into the archives to read what I missed. Also am a Global Grind reader so I was happy when u joined the staff. When u win one of the weblog awards, I think there should be a huge UIGM party (Sorry if someone already mentioned this). Good Luck!!

  • Shanel

    Congrats on making a year! I live in VA. A friend sent me a link to one of your post a couple of months ago (April maybe) and I’ve been reading it ever since.

  • Shay

    I started reading your blog after a good friend of mine started putting your blog post on her FB news feed! I’ve been hooked ever since and have read some helpful, funny, amusing, and shocking information for the past few months! I’m from Wichita, KS trying to fight this heat off!

  • monique

    i cant believe i’ve read every single post of yours for the past year….wow, time sure does fly.

    i live in los angeles….the real city of los angeles not one of the neighboring suburbs 5 miles away from disneyland. i’m just a bridge away from the bright lights of downtown and the staples center. i’m situated where all the major freeways in southern california meet-which is quite convenient for both work and play.

    i stumbled upon UIGM about 9 months or so ago when i was reading one of my friend’s friend’s blog. you were on her reading list of writers she was feelin and since she’s a pretty smart chick who appreciates good writing i decided to see what she found so interesting…flash foward to the present &&i have yet to be disappointed. u def made her reading list for a reason.

    u’ve written quite a few posts that i’ve been able to relate to on a personal level, mostly with regards to the ex factor and moving on. based on what you’ve written, you &i have gone through similar situations when it comes to cheating and being honest. i love the way you articulate those feelings that come from realizing you did wrong but not letting that stop you from being happy and possibly falling in love in the future. i admire the honesty and humility in your writing-and that’s what keeps me coming back every week day for more.

    congrats on one year and i look forward to many more =]

  • AlesiaMichelle

    I found out from a girlfriend of mine. I found out when she visited me for my birthday (July 16th). I have been hooked ever since. I was born in d.c but I live in Va beach. I love the blog! Good luck for the. Next year but hopefully you won’t be a bachelor for forever…

    Thanks for the insight.

  • omygoodness

    I’ve been living in San Francisco the past couple years and am originally from San Jose, California. Found out about this site from an article you wrote for many months ago about a topic totally unrelated to relationships. Don’t remember what that Slate article was about, but I got hooked on your blog since it was so easy to relate to. Thanks for keeping up such an honest blog. I constantly find myself amazed at how you put exactly how I feel or went through in words that I’m not able to put together myself.

  • whadup

    I’m from VA and have been reading your blog since January, when I saw it featured in an article in Essence magazine. I’ve never commented before, but definitely visite your site every day and have enjoyed every single post! Keep up the good work, and congrats on your one year anniversary.

  • Ondrea

    Happy Anniversary! I am from Maryland and I have been reading and sometimes commenting on your blog for maybe 3 or 4 months now. I found you from some one else’s blog but cannot remember now who it was. I am so glad I decided to peek in. You are a great writer and I look forward to tuning in everyday. Congratulations.

  • Hubert

    I am from New York and I have been reading your blog for about three months. I found out about your blog through a friend on Facebook and have been hooked ever since. I definitely relate to a lot of your posts and I find your past stories hilarious.

  • CY

    Happy Anniversary! I live in MD, go to school in RI, and work in VA lol & I’ve been reading for about 2 or 3 months now. I think I actually clicked on your blog from the BlackWeblog initial nominations. I really enjoy it, though I usually don’t have time to comment. I’m only in my early 20s but its refreshing to get a man’s perspective on various things. Thanks for sharing your life with us! You’re a great writer & I’ve been enjoying it.

  • Ziggy

    Congratulations on 1 year!!

    I live in NYC (Harlem) by way of a small country in the Middle East, and came across your blog while reading a friend’s blog, I believe… I was immediately hooked, love the way you write 🙂 I started reading back in October and backtracked thru all the archives, and your blog has provided something to look forward to reading while i was doing some hardcore traveling this year. So you’ve been around the world w me, Jozen! Ive never commented for some reason, tho Ive found a lot of posts entertaining (n lately have disagreed w some lol), so I thought I would take this opportunity to comment. Thought I’d give you something nice for your anniversary, lol.

  • Nadine

    you got my vote!!! LOVE love love your blog!

  • Kea::Curls

    Happy 1 yr 🙂 I’m from FL and found your blog through a link from someone elses (can’t remember who). now i’m addicted…! been reading since the middle of summer: maybe like June, or July.

  • Darryl Frierson

    I found out about your blog about a year ago from a friend of mine bruh! Good stuff you have going here!!

  • Minxy

    Howdy. Twenty one, California and been reading for the last six months! You always make me laugh. Thank you for that!

  • KH

    Happy Anniversary!

    I’m from an East-side Suburb of Detroit. I found this blog through an article that you wrote for “The Root” about 4 months ago . I have been an avid subscriber of your blog ever since then. Congrats Jozen on a job well done! 🙂

  • Lonia

    In NYC and been reading since nearly day one. Came from one of your articles on The Root, I think. Anyway, have never commented before but def have enjoyed this ride!

  • Dihandria

    Happy Anniversary Jozen! I LOVE your blog, it is so relatable, inciteful, and funny. I was introduced to it by a friend about 4 months ago, who told me i just had to check it out. Since then i have been hooked! I wish you the best as you move forward to expand Until I Get Married!! 🙂

  • Bre

    Hi Jozen! I was refered to your blog by another blogger/friend of mine. I’ve been reading it and referring it to my guy/girlfriends for about a year now. Thanks for writing!

  • anonymous

    Saw your blog in the Black Weblog awards. I am in the Midwest. Reading for 2 weeks.

  • Cristina

    Hi Jozen, Congratulations on reaching a year! I have been reading for about 6 weeks, give or take. I have also gone backwards and am up to April thinking I should probably start at the beginning! I live here in New York City, Queens to be more specific. I found out about your blog through one of your readers who posted something on Facebook. I read a few posts, added you on FB and found myself missing your posts when you skipped a day… even when I was on vacay in Vegas (what does that tell you??) Anyways, I love your posts and will continue reading them until… you are married I guess. Then maybe I will want to hear about you changing diapers, maybe. I wish I had the conviction to write to my self everyday so kudos for you sharing with the world. Best wishes.

  • Cristina

    Oh one more thing. I love your titles! I am a non-professional writer myself and find it incredibly difficult to name pieces.

  • Tea

    Hey Jozen, I’m T or Tea, either way. I’m from the Chi. Back story: I actually met you during Howard homecoming 2008… They mentioned your blog in Essence (I’m sure you remember what month that was, but I can’t recall). I’m not really into relationship blogs, so I didn’t blink twice. But then a girlfriend of mine was like “T, you remember ol’ boy from XX encounter (didn’t really know your name then), UIGM is his blog.” Then I was like oh, let me check it out and I’ve been hooked every since. Congrats on a year! Congrats on all your success and nominations and congrats on the honesty you present in this blog. So long as you keep being honest and open, I’ll keep reading.


  • Syrita

    Hi! I feel “tardy for the party”. I just discovered you today. A considerate friend sent a link my way….by the way. my name is Syrita & I hail from the “A” (Really didn’t mean to write a corny rap, it just came out that way)Love the blog…reading back through the year now…gonna be a long night…Me thinks I need another bottle of wine…

  • Blair

    Hey Jozen! I’m Christyn, 21 from Cali. I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning of the year and really enjoying it. No idea how I stumbled upon it but I am glad I did. Your honesty and perspective are refreshing.. you are really something special! Best of luck!

  • Kadathy

    Congrats! I’m from MD and i saw your blog in the Black Weblog awards. I’ve been reading for 2 -3 weeks lol.

  • ns

    congratulations on making it to 1 year! im 19 yrs old and from vancouver bc. ive been reading your blog for …. probably around 6 months now, maybe even more, i cant quite remember. i discovered your blog through abi’s blog ( whom i was already an avid reader of. i love your posts! what i love most is that your an actual writer so everything is usually gramatically correct and you really do have a knack for writing-ofcoarse. haha.

  • Violet

    Happy 1st! Thanks for writing!

  • Abbie

    Hi Jozen, G’day from Australia! Lol Congrats on your 1 year anniversary. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now. My friend recommended it to me after she discovered your blog through another blogger. Anyways, I’ve been following your blog (almost) religiously and read when – ever and where – ever I can. It’s been a great help in providing me with some ingisht into the male psyche. I look forward to reading more of your entries!

  • Ife

    Hey Jozen, Happy Anniversary!
    I absolutely love your blog! It’s where I go when staring at the computer screen gets unbearable. Thank you for putting so much effort in giving us something to look forward to every work day. God Bless!

    I go to college in South Hadley, MA but I’m from Nigeria. I discovered your blog a few weeks ago when someone re-twitted a link to it and I’ve been hooked ever since! I’m now an ‘Until I get Married’ junkie 🙂

    You could get one of those ‘Flag counter’ widgets or something of that sort to find out how many people visit your blog and where they are from.

  • Michelle

    Hey Jozen, congrats on the 1 year anniversary. Your blog is part of my daily blog call. I enjoy reading your posts. I’m from the bay. Came across your blog through some a couple of my fave bloggers Raaaachem & Abi from girlsarethenewboys.
    I look forward to reading more posts! What you share is different from a lot of other blogs and yours has become one of my favorite blogs.

  • Devin

    Happy Anniversary! And congrats on the Black Weblog Awards–I voted for you in several categories. I’m from Dallas, TX but now live in DC. I have been reading your blog since the beginning of this summer. I found out about it because someone (can’t remember who exactly, maybe @GlobalGrind) I was following on Twitter retweeted one of your blog posts. You’re a great writer and I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts!!

    -Devin, @dev_rox

  • Dililah

    Been reading UIGM since last September. A friend put me onto it. I’m from Boston

  • Daphane

    Hey Jozen, love ur blog…been reading since Sept ’09 and am from LA, (CA) but now live in DC…Go Bison!

  • Daphane

    Oh and I found out about it through a story on my homepage (MSN) u wrote about Jay-Z trending marriage and saw at the bottom that u also had a blog…

  • citygirl22

    Hey Jozen,

    Belated Congratulations on your 300th post! I’m from Brooklyn, NY. I found your blog through a friend’s FB link about 2 months ago, and have enjoyed reading it (even if semi-regularly) since. Thank you for such honest, insightful, raw, funny, poignant writing… Connecting with readers the way you do is a true gift. 🙂