Sober Hot Girls
The only time my mom ever complained to me about this blog was once in the early months. She asked me why I make so many references to being drunk or drinking when I don’t drink that much. I told her it just happens to be the case that when I go out, the two things I see a lot of are drinks and women. And since most of my stories are more of the casual variety, a lot more of those times when I was drinking and people were drinking around me will come up.
But her question was valid considering I’m not a big drinker. I don’t even own alcohol at my house. There’s one Corona, that’s been sitting in my refrigerator for months. I’m especially not a big day drinker, as a matter of fact, I kind of hate it. The only reason I ever drink is so the woman I am with doesn’t drink alone, and even then, I sometimes decline anyway, thus making me look like a jerk. After all, who lets a woman drink alone? Well, I do. Sometimes. But if I had it my way, she wouldn’t drink at all or only on special occasions.
Before I go any further, understand this is not a defense of last Friday’s post. That is what it was and it will remain that way. But I do feel, for the first time in a long time, some clarity is necessary, so here it goes.
After last Friday’s post, I think some people might find my claim to prefer sober girls kind of unbelievable. I mentioned a story about my boy taking home a girl who was slightly tipsy, to get into a discussion about why women won’t let their friends go home with a man. Unfortunately, that story was used to guide the overall discussion in the comments, and instead of it becoming a talk about why a man can’t take home a grown, responsible, mature woman because of her friends it became something much darker — a discussion about grown, responsible, mature women who had too much to drink and therefore should never be allowed to go home with a stranger at all.
A couple of commentators smartened up, and tried to take alcohol and inebriation out of the situation. They wanted to focus on what the actual issue was, versus what it wasn’t because it wasn’t ever about wondering why a girl won’t let her drunk friend go home with me. Even in the story I said, the girl was “tipsy” not “drunk” and trust me when I say there is a difference. If I felt the girl was too drunk to remember anything, I would have prevented the whole situation from happening. I know my boy would have too. Trust me when I say, ladies, a lot of men aren’t interested in taking home a girl who’s so drunk she’s about to pass out as soon as she gets in our ride. I think all smart men and women agree if a woman can’t walk a straight line, she probably should go home with the people who brought her. But there are still a lot of women who would like to go home with a man they just met, and they’re sober. So what gives?
I prefer sober girls. I prefer women who don’t drink. Why? They’re easier to take home…
And if any of you are confused, go ahead and read that last line again.
Here’s the thing about drunk women: They can’t focus on having an actual conversation, which is what I really need in order to get a woman to dig me. I need her to understand what I’m saying, and I need to understand what she’s saying, and once we get into an actual conversation, the probability something will happen if not that night, sometime soon, is highly likely.
The fact of the matter is, the drunk woman is the risky woman, and there’s a big difference between a woman who likes to take risks and a risky woman. The woman who likes to take risks understands fully what she does and she doesn’t need any alcohol to do it. A risky woman gets men locked up and facing years in prison or some other horrible consequence, and any man who isn’t thinking about such things is just as much of an idiot as the girl who let herself get so drunk, she couldn’t walk a straight line to save her life.
I have had many, many encounters with women who were drunk and women who were sober, enough to know if I had to choose between one or the other, I’m definitely choosing the woman who’s sober. And if she isn’t sober, but I still want to get to know her, I have the perfect remedy. One bottled water. Why? Because I’m trying to take her home or I’m trying to get her number or I’m just trying to get on her radar, and in order to do that, I need her to stay awake and remember exactly who I am. The type of guy who likes his girls sober.