It Actually Is Possible To Be Too Busy For A Relationship
So in case some of you haven’t been paying attention, I have been very busy as of late. Lately my life has been nothing but office hours, deadlines, word counts, and not much of anything else. It’s actually gotten to the point where I can’t remember the last time I fell asleep on my pillow because I keep falling asleep on my laptop.
I’m not complaining though. It’s work. And having not had a job for months, trust me, the complaints about a job are far better than the complaints about not having a job. But I’m not going to act like all this work hasn’t stressed me out. It’s affected damn near everything and as grateful as I am for the blessings of a cool job and the opportunities to write for numerous publications, the other night I was struck by a thought I never had in my life:
For the first time ever, I may be too busy to be in a relationship.
It hit me the other night when I came straight home from work around 8:30, opened up my laptop, and literally stayed in front of it until 1:00. When I did get up, I washed my face, looked in the mirror and thought, “Did I really just work for close to 5 hours?” And then I thought if I had a girlfriend, how it would never work because I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long time, but girls who are in my life always seem to at one point, get upset with my career behavior.
These days, I’m obsessed with doing the work and getting it done. I have created this luxury of sorts, to get paid doing what I love, and sometimes I feel if I’m not doing it, I’m being ungrateful. It’s like, how dare I don’t do this assignment just because I don’t feel like it! Sloth is a sin. To be slothful towards something I wanted to do my whole life? Straight to hell with me.
But then again, this is work. This isn’t playtime. I love what I do, but sometimes I wish I could enjoy it from afar. Some time away from doing what I love to enjoy the people that I love would be nice and appreciated by both me and them because a lot of them, they don’t understand.
The number one reason I’m not spending time with any women these days — at least not any quality time — is because of work. Just this week, a friend of mine suggested we hang out on Sunday, and I told her I would love to if I’m not busy. She laughed and teased me, as if to say, “You think you’re going to be the only one who is busy on Sundays.”
She’s probably right. It’s not just me who is busy on Sunday. Everyone will be busy on Sunday, because these days, everyone is busier than ever trying to keep up with the Joneses. And so a woman will be quick to tell a man if he really cared, he would make time.
Well, I guess it’s fair to say that would be the case. So I guess it’s fair to say, I don’t care enough? Doesn’t sound too nice, but if the shoe fits wear it. As long as I don’t say no to one girl because of another girl I suppose all girls could forgive me while I knock out this latest review for the Wall Street Journal.
Just the other day I read a blog post about me (yes, those do exist) by this girl I used to date. And it was something about how she gave me a chance during my time of unemployment. She talked about all the time we used to spend together — because I didn’t have a job — doing things like going to the movies in the middle of the day and taking these long walks that people do when they are unemployed (like I was) or in between jobs (like she was, as someone who worked in the arts). Come to find out, while reading the post, a lot of her friends were asking her why she chose to take a chance on a guy with no job. And that was strange for me to read. Strange and yeah, a rude awakening because I met those friends and thought they thought I was great for her. But as it turns out, in their eyes, I wasn’t. She mentions this in the post, and then talks about how as things started looking up for me, months after I decided to end things between us, I called to thank her for supporting me during those dark days when I was working to get work.
But the irony is, if her and I were still dating these days, we probably wouldn’t last long anyway, because while I do know plenty of women who would much rather be with a guy with some job stability over a guy with no job stability, I haven’t met any woman who is a huge fan of my work ethic. They’re supportive of it, admire it, compliment it, but they don’t like it, and so I say too bad, for now. If a woman doesn’t want a man who is unemployed, they might have to settle for a man like me, and the unfortunate thing is: I might not have time to settle down with them.