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A Solution To The Too Busy For A Relationship Problem

Today I have some more thoughts about the dilemma I wrote about last week.

In thinking about this whole, being-too-busy-to-be-in-a-relationship phase of my life, I realized there was one truth no one will allow me  — or anyone else who makes this claim — escape, and that is this: We make time for the things we value most. As much as I would love to argue with this counterpoint because I thoroughly, absolutely hate it, I can’t act like it isn’t true. As my boy pointed out to me, last week’s dilemma I wrote about is only true if I don’t want to be in a relationship.

Well, I don’t think I am opposed to being in a relationship. As a matter of fact, a relationship would be cool right now, but all I can do right now is date one type of woman and that woman is the type of woman who is too busy to be in a relationship too.

A friend of mine recently told me how all the hours she’s clocking at her new job have handicapped her dating life. She claimed she had no time to date because her hours were so long and how she would love to date, but with a new job, she wasn’t going to be able to anytime soon.

Hearing this, I thought to myself: That’s my type of woman; the woman who is far too busy to micromanage my duties as her man.

I think right now, there’s room in my life for a woman, in spite of the fact that I touch a keyboard more than I touch anything else. The thing is, I would like it if my woman did the same, a busy woman who has so much of her own thing going on, she barely has time for me.

Being too busy for a relationship actually seems like a cop out when I really think about it. I don’t think my problem is I’m too busy for a relationship, maybe the problem is I haven’t found a woman who isn’t too busy enough? Of all the things I can think of that would mark a woman off my list, being too busy for me is probably somewhere near the bottom. As a matter of fact, it might be dead last.

The kind of woman I would like is the type of woman who after I tell her I’m going to get a 5-hour energy drink, replies, “Get me one too.” She doesn’t say I shouldn’t be drinking those, because she understands there’s work that needs to be done.

When I was first starting my career, I dated a girl who was always on her Blackberry, and I hated it. Despised it, even. At that stage, I wasn’t doing nearly as much as I do now. The only thing setting my phone off back in those days was updates on the Major League Baseball scores. But then I realized my problem wasn’t with her, it had more to do with my career. I wouldn’t say I was jealous of her career, because I knew mine was only in its beginning stages, when she was already a year or so in. But I would say all this attention I wanted paid to me was the product of an idle mind, the very thing I’m trying to avoid now.

As I said yesterday on Facebook, the type of woman I want most is the type of woman who is too busy to concern herself with the little things I’m doing. She isn’t going to text me in the middle of the day and ask me to reinterpret one of my status updates.  There will be no questions about a future together, because she’s too worried about the present. And the reason I don’t want these things have nothing to do with me wanting to avoid such “difficult” questions, it’s just, I’m busy too. I’m so busy I don’t even have time to think about what I see for myself in the next five years. I’m more worried about the next five minutes, the next five hours. As far as I’m concerned, there’s work to be done now, so we can just do it together. If someone can get with that, they can get with me.

Girls like my friend who complained she is unable to date because her schedule is so full should realize there are guys who have full schedules too, and they don’t mind eating some Chinese take out at 11 o’clock in the evening while hovering over a pair of his and hers laptops.

This is not to say this is the most romantic relationship I can be a part of, but I do feel like it might be the one closest to reality, at least for now. A woman who is in the throws of her career just like I am in mine is ideal not just for the obvious reasons (similar schedules) but because I like what a busy woman represents. I’m not talking about some “independent” woman here either, I’m talking about a busy woman, who knows how to appreciate time in and time out of the office, the latter especially because it’s so rare.

When I think about that post that was written by the girl I used to date about me and how my unemployment was sometimes met with speculation, it was eye opening to me, because I remember how busy I was knocking out all sorts of articles, and every once in a while deciding instead to take a break. I thought it would be appreciated, and there’s no doubt it was, but it had its limit and now I kind of understand why. I don’t want a woman who only appreciates the time I put into her, I want a woman who appreciates the time I put into myself, and maybe the only woman who can appreciate such a thing are the women who are busy doing the exact same thing.

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  • Yesi Jukebox

    Sounds very unrealistic.

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  • AndreaNicole

    Jozen I’m definitely guilty of using the “I’m too busy for a relationship” line as a cop-out for the real truth which is that I just haven’t met a guy that understands and respects my grind/hustle and has his own thing going for him. Like you said, if you’re both working hard…there’s less room for stupid fights over Facebook statuses and Twitter updates. I think it could work.

  • BlueGreen

    Slow down and enjoy life. Another question would be, are you running from something. Hiding behind work maybe?

  • Dililah

    Hey, if that’s what works for you now then good luck. Although I am blessed with what I do for a living, my job doesn’t love me the way I need to be loved. Especially after overcoming possible job loss.
    Everything I worked for was almost lost due to the current economic climate. People that I thought were friends showed true colors, and I realized a big chunk of my confidence was supported by my title. Now that was a hell of an eye opening experience.

  • Natasha

    “The thing is, I would like it if my woman did the same, a busy woman who has so much of her own thing going on, she barely has time for me.”

    That’s it right there!!!

    In Esssence mag I think a couple of issues back a woman wrote in to ask Bishop TD Jakes about her desire to get married. She felt she was getting older and it was a concern. My boy TD Jakes answered back with “When you do meet that man let him find you busy” DING!!!

    Every sense I was a baby my dream house was going to be built with ME and my husband. I always felt the burden of getting busy so my life may have the things I desire. Not for the sake of appearing busy, but having a life. My grandparents raised me. And while they were old school by nature they were ahead of their time. They always pushed me to work hard. So rolling up my sleeves has never been an issue for me. But the fact I have always wanted to be married sense I was 8, yes I said 8 seemed to cause inner conflict. Marriage is not top on my list of “things to do” any more. It’s not that I do not want it I just believe it is one of those things that will happen in it’s time. What I can control is me! What I can’t control is a time table or a man! So in the mean time I will find myself busy!

    Great advise for single folks Jozen!

  • K_dot_re

    I’ve always taken “too busy” as an excuse where relationships go, mainly because I’ve used it myself. What I really meant was “I’m not into you enough to make the time to make you a priority,” or “I simply don’t want to be in a relationship at all.”

    As karma would have it, when I did find someone I was that interested in, it happened at one of the busiest times of my life and I still made time for her…only to be rebuffed with the same brand of excuses I used to use to cover up for my lack of interest or preparation for a relationship.

    Either way, there is no such thing as “too busy” for someone you’re interested in and who you value. People really do make time for who and what they value.

  • Natasha

    Great comment, bless your heart! Has things turned around for you?

    Yes, I believe that balance is key! Not allowing your job to give a false sense of security because it can be taken away. Being busy to me it’s not just with work. It includes family, friends and me time too!

  • ZM Wright

    You know me homie and life through these glasses is one big competitive landscape where winning follows immediately after knowing what you want. Some say enjoy life but I believe they are missing the pronoun “your.” If work is your thrill pursue it like the average American pursues a slice of pizza, the couch, and monday night football. Then find a woman that pursues it like you and what do ya got? Compatibility. The problem is folks play zero-sum with the words live and work, as if the two are vying for 100% of the same pie.

    Now I’m a workaholic to the Nicholas Cage “Family Man” extent, but so is my girl. And in our passion for progress we progress together. She’s out there homie. You probably already met her.

  • **inquiring mind**


    LOL *face palm*… So I checked-in when I got in this morning because you and your posting schedule are about as predictable as Wallstreet and… duhn duhn duhn I saw Friday’s post. Then I thought you know maybe Jozen thinks he’s too busy because he hasn’t met someone he considers interesting enough to distract him. Not that I encourage distractions, but many of us have been distractions and have been distracted by others and therefore realizes SOMETIMES distractions are GUUUUUD! I don’t buy the “she’s gotta be busy cuz I’m busy” thing… that’s just silly. Now, ambitous *thumbs up* because ambitious women (people) even when they’re not busy they understand… busy Jozen, BUSY? SMH… Nope… what happens when everyone isn’t quite so busy anymore… then what?

  • Dililah

    Well, I have my job which gives me my income, but I feel a sense of betrayal. I used to always say I needed someone who could keep up with me. But when I almost lost what I worked so hard for, dedicated so much time to and dare I say, put first on my priorities list, it was a quick slap to the face not knowing what the hell to do next. I have my family and some true friends to lean on, but that will only get you so far.

    Thanks for the comment.

  • AlittlethisAlittleThat

    Sound to me like you you need a fWB situation, meets the needs but works well with your busy schedule.

  • Violet

    Superb to know that you’re too busy. This revelation allows for repentance, if you so choose. If you want, you can carve out space for a relationship or any other areas of self-care you may be neglecting (per your professional commitments, hobbies, etc.). If you don’t choose, I think opting out of relationships altogether for certain seasons of life can be very productive, you can and should continue to devote yourself more fully to making the impact you wish to have on the world. Tunnel vision is essential at times, but also selfish. Go ahead, cover all your bases, but who wants a boyfriend, husband, or father who is always too busy to answer ‘difficult’ questions, can’t guarantee an occasional lunch date, and misses almost every little league game? So for now, Jozen, do you. Just don’t lose you. This is the other danger in being too busy. Can’t help but wonder what else you’re too busy for, how else you’re avoiding the wholeness you want and deserve.

  • sideeye

    I understand what your saying Jozen; but, I just don’t beleive that two people so busy pursuing their careers even along side one another can really, really, really get to know the people they are after the laptops are turned off and their eyes go from blurred vision to clear the results of looking at a computer screen all day and half the night.

    I have a friend who has this same theory..I need a man whose going after what he wants in life at the same pace I am..and I ask her, “when do you two have time to get to know one another?” your likes, dislikes and quirks about each other.. to each their own; but I’ve learned to balance my life pretty well…I make time for whomever I’m dating, if and only if I’m really feeling him like that…

  • Natasha

    WOW! Your story has opened my heart to some things. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers sis! And, you are welcome.

  • Sinnamon

    YES!!! That’s what I kept saying as I was reading this. I feel you Jozen. I get you. I had a boyfriend who always seemed like he had nothng going on. I mean he had a job, but he came home at like 3 and bothered me the rest of the day. I had stuff to do you know and it bothered me that he didn’t. He showered me with attention and to him he was doing everything right so when I still wasn’t happy, he couldn’t understand what was wrong. I need my man to be busy, not just with me, but with his own life. I need to feel like his life doesn’t revolve around me and he has things going on outside of the relationship. Says something about ambition and capabilities….

  • cdiva96

    I dunno. I’m all for handling my business and making the necessary moves to keep my 5 year plan on track, but no self respecting woman wants to come 2nd or 3rd to anything in the life of the man who has her heart. Just like how you didn’t like being 2nd to the girl you were emotionally invested in. The times I’ve been “too busy” were the times I wasn’t really ready to give myself emotionally to someone but wanted sex and someone to chill with… on my schedule, aka a friend with benefits. Which sounds like what you’re looking for.

  • Danah

    You definitely put my brain into perspective for the world AS USUAL. I totally agree though. I loooooove what a busy man represents and if I could only find one all would be well. Until them I continue to build my empire/galaxy/universe

  • Natasha

    You answer raises great conversation. And other commenters too. They are great, so it got me to thinking. My sister and I was just talking about this. Years ago my grandmother was listening to me tell her my goals. She asked when did I have time for a family. I said I can do that too and she said “you are apart of the want it all generation”. I do believe that you can be busy and mantain life at home. But at what cost? Something will have to be sacrificed and I willing to do that. For example I said I no longer think it is realistic to have four kids like I used to want. That was a compromise I was willing to take. And others as well.

    There are woman who say they want a man who is driven, but when he works too much we get upset. Then when he is not working we complain about that too.

    In life things happen so we have to be prepared for set backs. Dililah’s comment has me thinking about set backs, and that is real. My thing is if a women marries a man who is “busy” then there are going to be nights where she is alone. So my question is what do we want? If we want the man who is at home often then go for that guy. But going aften a man who is very driven, but get upset he can not make it home for little Jenny’s dance program I think is not fair. I agree that we make time for what we want. If that person is saying that they want what you don’t want then it is not a connection.

  • Rogue Thought

    It sounds like you have your ‘types’ of women mixed up. A woman who doesn’t care about what you are doing as her man is whether she is busy or not is not the right woman for you, or any other man. The same holds true for a man who doesn’t care what his woman does as his woman. If you don’t care what’s the point of being in the relationship? You had the right solution to you dilemma of being to busy to be in a relationship,…don’t be in a relationship.

  • Starita34

    Love your writing Jozen, I really do, but this sounds like
    a) an unrealistic pipe dream that you wouldn’t even like if you had it (just my opinion, I know. Possibly you’d love it) and
    b) that you want the good without the bad. Because yes, a relationship is work. Yes, she will “nag” you at times. Yes, she will want you to be available to her for more than sex and eating together. Yes, she cares about your overall health not just deadlines (the energy drink/chinese food/long hours).

    I’m sure lots of people would be down for the person that’s so busy all they have time for is to semi regularly swing through at 11 with Chinese take out, but dare I say that’s a booty call, not a relationship. Not in my definition at least. *shrug*

  • Starita34

    @Rogue Thought
    AMEN! Even when busy-if she loves you, she cares! And if your woman is willing to sacrifice your health or her time with you for a deadline, odds are she likes your “motivation” and “drive” (read: paychecks and notoriety) more than she likes YOU.

  • BoomShots

    When I was a kid, my parents use to hire a handyman to do small jobs around our house by the name of Lester. Lester was very skilled with his hands but not very educated, when he came around I would follow him around all day from task to task being the curious child I was and one of the things he always said was “there is no one born with the name Work”.

    I never knew what he meant until I became adult and with each passing day it becomes clearer. One of the benefits of youth is that we tend to believe that we will always have time later to do the others things we deem important. So we throw ourselves full time into whatever thing we are doing in the moment, work, love, party pursuits and we sacrifice other opportunities for a fuller life.

    As most of us get older we begin to truly understand the need for a better work/life balance. As working long hours, making money and having no one to share it with becomes tasking. Because we think I can do that tomorrow, or if they are the right person there will be available when I have more time for a relationship. But the one thing I have come to understand his much of life’s successes is about timing. You rarely ever get more than one bite at the apple and there is no one to tell you exactly when its your turn.

    I love what I do for a living but I also love having a relationship. I empathize with feeling like you are too busy for a relationship because you just not feel you have the bandwith to do all that needs to be done and meeting your relationship obligations.
    Says who?
    The little voice in your head?
    If you think about it that voice has been wrong as many times as its been right. Not that we would admit it. Or maybe its because the picture you want to present to the world is incomplete. You need to prove you are much better than your last incarnation just can you say I told you so.

    Trying to prove things to people who really don’t matter is a bitch because it takes up so much of our time and we sacrifice so much to achieve that. But going back to Lester the handyman, we still never name our children Work or gave them the name of our employer but we give them names of our partners, spouses, friends and family, the people with whom we make time to nurture our relationships.

  • Nicki

    Allow me to cosign @K_dot_re
    “Either way, there is no such thing as “too busy” for someone you’re interested in and who you value. People really do make time for who and what they value.”

    You hit it right on the head, Brotha!

  • **inquiring mind**

    @BoomShots OMG! That sh!t there was just… just. D@mn you said it BRUH! *finger snaps*

  • K_dot_re

    thanks, Nicki. If you had any idea of the irony of you cosigning my comment, though. I’m cracking up at it.

  • Kady

    I’ve been pretty busy lately too, I took my first 5 Hour Energy shot on Saturday and while it was amazing, it taste like straight chemicals…yuck!!!
    I use the “I’m too busy to date” line with men I’m not sure are worth my time, but if I decide I would like to get to know them, then I’ll definitely make time. I truly believe you can always make the time, without letting other priorities slip through the cracks.

    They were times a few years back, where I should have been busy with work, but let myself get distracted by men and it has never benefited me. So today I do put my career first, matter of fact, in this economy, there isn’t much a man could say to convince me to do anything differently.

    The ideal man for me would definitely be the “too busy” type, I find that kind of commitment and ambition to be hella $exy. Not only that, but I find it unattractive when a man just goes to work, goes through the motions and complains about having to work until 5:30 once every now and then.

  • Danni

    @Rogue Thought


    Completely agree with the both of you.

  • Ana

    This was a great read, especially seeing as a friend of mine mentioned something along these lines this past weekend. While I am not as busy as I would like to be right now I am enjoying it. Because I know when that next job comes along I will have to put all of my energy into that.
    But while I am working part-time and spending the other time looking for my passion, a little soul searching, and spending time with loved ones. I will remember one thing when I become too busy again “am i living to work or working to live”

  • AmbitiousGirl

    I can definitely relate to this … One of my guy friends told me that I had qualities he’s looking for in a woman – & he wasn’t talking about physical features but the fact that I keep busy and I go for my goals & what I want. There’s an ability to hold a conversation about more than what was on Maury or MTV but rather what you’re working on. I also agree with the time thing. Once my boyfriend started working, he understood why I was so “busy” all the time and appreciated the time we could spend together a lot more. I admit that there are times that I think I’m too busy for a relationship but you make a good point – finding someone that is like minded (no matter what your mind/situation is focused on) will give you the kind of relationship that you’re looking for and that will benefit you.
    Great read!

  • Tea

    I like the solution.

  • brownivyx


    I pretty much agree with you on this. Over the last several years, I’ve used a variation of different reasons when posed the very common question of “Why are *you* still single?”: tragedy, endless bad dates, working on self, the ratio, etc…but the number one reason has always been “I’m just too busy. There’s a place I need to get to in my life before I ever feel comfortable sharing it with someone else.”

    And this is not a lie. But it’s not exactly the truth either.

    At the end of the work day (and night), the cold, hard truth is I don’t want to be in a relationship, even at “a certain age”, with the clock and a gun to my head. For all of the above reasons and more, because I’m trying to do some stuff, and the thought of answering to another person about my whereabouts, compromising about sleep hours, putting in face/phone time and talking about feelings, and explaining my sometimes odd behavior and beliefs seems incredibly tedious and distracting. And you know what? In truth, it really really is.

    But, if someone came along that I thought I could even *possibly* go the distance with, that even sparked the idea, I would rearrange and try to make it work, even if it eventually didn’t. And I wouldn’t want them to be “too busy” for me. I would want the best of them, as I would give them the same.

    I know this…because I have done this. And I probably will again. We all eventually do…in due time.

  • Nicki

    @ K_dot
    {smirking} Oh really? I’m presuming the irony lies in the name…

    I can’t help but laugh sometimes when I think about Jaheim putting his woman first, and Kenny Lattimore never being too busy… I want to know who’s writing those songs and where are they hiding? (hehe)

    You know what I wish? That you wouldln’t pursue a relationship with anyone until it is with someone you feel is special enough to make adjustments in your daily routine. Otherwise, feelings will eventually start to bruise and then one day something seemingly petty will happen that will cause a firestorm (e.g., your girl who threw you out for falling asleep during the movie she wanted you to watch).

  • BoomShots

    Another thought on this too busy for a relationship perspective:
    What if someone said they were too invested in their relationship right now to consider working?
    Specifically, if a man said those words

    After everyone told them how low a life form they thought they were, they would then point out the fact that millions of people all over the globe manage to do both at the same time. Why is it that we place such a status on work that we accept it as a viable excuse to not do other things in life. People have sacrificed their relationships, family and friendships in the name of work and been applauded for it but very few applauses for the reverse.

    Its a big part of why so many of us live these lives of quite desperation, stressed and overworked. Happy with our measly 10 vacation days and too scared to take them consecutively. Coupled with those whose work hours and commutes take up half the day its a wonder many of us have time to establish relationships much less maintain them.

    I have dated women who claim they were too busy and my response to them was “good-bye”. Not that I don’t respect what they do or the fact that they can’t be too busy but because I don’t share their value. My schedule is not always predictable nor have I always had a set schedule but I always tried to make allowances for the people in my life. If i felt I could not do that, I usually chose to go it alone.

    My truth is not that I was ever too busy for a relationship but I did not want a relationship but saying I was too busy due to work made me look better and brought fewer questions. It is easy to play the game if you know the rules.

  • Kady


    I get your argument but Stay at home Mothers do the reverse everyday, men just don’t have to luxury.
    Also, most people put in the hours earlier in their careers to reap the benefits later on in life. Yes, you can say there is no guarantee we will live to reap the benefit, but I hate that argument because I could die 1 day from now or 60 years from now, no one knows.

    Relationships at every point in life are not right for everyone. Like Jozen I would much rather spend my time working on my career, volunteer, and working with professional organizations than at a singles happy hour trying to meet Mr. Right. He is writing from the Perspective of a 29 year old so I think it’s absolutely reasonable.

    Also it really depends on your career. I have a high demand career, it’s the path I choose. I find most men who complain about my schedule are lazy. They just don’t like the fact that a woman works harder than them. Everything isn’t for everyone, I’m not knocking the 9-5 hustle, I just wish they wouldn’t bitch because I’m working 9-8, or 9.

  • KitKatCuty84

    A.) I never believe a guy can be too busy for a relationship with me. NO MATTER WHAT! Use that line on me and I’ll assume you’re brushing me off.

    B.) I only use this line on guys when I’m trying to BRUSH THEM OFF.

    C.) “We make time for what we value” is ALWAYS true, NO EXCEPTIONS. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, but whatever you’re giving “nothing” means “nothing” to you.

  • L. Dejean

    they don’t mind eating some Chinese take out at 11 o’clock in the evening while hovering over a pair of his and hers laptops.

    ^^^This made me giggle!

    It is true that you make time for the things you want/need in life…its about prioritizing. I can’t say that this isn’t or isn’t true until you try this approach and see if it down. I think that both parties just would have to look at their schedules and arrange time for each other, regardless of work or other obligations.

  • Cristina

    “That’s my type of woman; the woman who is far too busy to micromanage my duties as her man.”

    You hit the nail on the head with that one sentence. I think ideally this is the man I see myself with. Partly because I am not good at traditional women’s roles like cooking, cleaning, laundry (by good I mean they get procrastinated to the last extent). Also because when someone has something they are passionate about, that makes them interesting. So my man has a good job, sometimes works late or brings home work, is into every sport on TV, likes to hang out with his family and friends, and can fit me in there somewhere too? Love him! I think it’s important for people to have there separate lives outside of their relationship because if that falls apart, you have to have something there.

    Furthermore, although I am no longer living the life of a college student and I don’t have my career job yet, I still don’t want someone around all the time pestering me. I have my own things going on and I’m busy enjoying my life. So someone is welcome as long as they have their own things and are making my life more enjoyable.

  • zy

    i don’t know… i think the whole “she’s got to be too busy to worry about me” thing is a cop out and a really bad excuse for just not wanting a relationship right now. i bet if you actually met someone who was too busy for you, you’d complain about how much time you two don’t spend together. i think it’s a catch 22 you’re creating for yourself there. wanting someone motivated is always a positive but wanting someone who has zero time for you is akin to just being alone which is what you’ve got going on now…

  • Fallible Sage

    Yeah, sounds more not ready than too busy, and that’s ok. If what you want to focus on is work at this point then more power. I don’t know if incorporating another too busy person into the mix is the solution. I don’t even see how you could get that off the ground in the first place. But if you did have a relationship with someone built entirely on a busy schedule, what happens when you’re not… when one of you finally looks up from your lap top and looks across at the other still hunched over theirs. Will you still be content if the dynamic changes as they often do in relationships? There might be a revelation that you don’t really know each other, like each other, aren’t good at relating to each other without the busy barrier between you?
    Of course only you know what works for you, but it seems more practical to just wait til you’re ready… then the grind will be second only to her.

  • Cali

    I think folks are being a bit harsh. Or maybe I’m just kidding myself, but as a busy female w/ a crazy schedule I can appreciate what you’re saying. Frankly, if I met a guy who’d give me a quick holler on weekdays (real quick, I’m not a fan of being on the phone), hit the gym w/ me on weekends, have a few meals & some time in the sheets, I’d be happy w/ that right now. & if we’re compatible I suppose it could grow into something. But I wouldn’t want to CHANGE my routine for someone new right now, I would feel derailed & a little resentful (especially if he turned out not to be worth it). I dunno, I could see the busy thing working if both parties were comfortable. & they’d be too busy to discover incompatibilities for quite a while so you figure it could work for some amount of time.

  • katie

    I think this sounds great. One of the sexiest things about a person is his/her drive. If you have time for each other at the end of the day then it’s all good. There’s nothing like a little pillow talk and cuddle time.

  • Amber

    I don’t know how I feel about this. It hits close to home and while I am super busy I always find time for that guy yet guys (in my experience) tend to be one or two track minded so they can’t let something go unfinished to hang out with me where as I am always willing to do that for them.

    I do know however that I don’t always want this to be the situation. We are both so busy we never have time to go out with friends together. Its kinda like I am single and so is he, and I hate being asked now that I have a boyfriend where he is all the time.

    something to think about…

  • Gear Guy

    Trust me, if a woman (or man) makes excuses that they are too busy, then it’s time to move on. You know when a person likes you because they aren’t playing games about being too busy, and they’ll call you whenever possible. If they’ve created a world around them that makes them too busy to even want to find time to be with you, or they’re always expecting you to make the effort, then you’re just wasting your time.
    When there’s a spark, two people will always want to see each other and make time for each other, no matter how busy or how far apart they are. When one person is having to do all the work or is waiting for the other person to say something and that other person is always busy (you’re never too busy if you’re in love), then forget it. You don’t have it.