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Five Things I Like In A Woman, But I Don’t Necessarily Like For Myself

One of the great things about being single for the last couple of years is it’s allowed me to open my eyes to different types of women and different things I like about women. Back when I was jumping from relationship to relationship, I restricted myself to liking these similarities I would find between one girl and the next. Now, I can appreciate a woman who stands out from my type and have found the most peculiar things to be attractive. Even more odd are the way some women draw me in via qualities I don’t possess  — it’s the idea of opposites attract but not in some big, personality-driven way, more like, these small ways. Allow me to explain.

Today, five things I like in a woman, but I don’t necessarily like for myself.


There was a girl I once dated who wore glasses. Sexy teacher, all day. She had a very innocent quality to her, liked to read books and didn’t really curse. Kind of nerdy. But she had this tattoo on her hip, very well hidden to the outside eye, and it was one of the hottest tattoos I have seen. It was pretty massive. Well, massive relative to this girl who, with her clothes on, looked like she played Bingo. One would never suspect it, I know I didn’t. I swear, if one had to guess what she did with her clothes on, they would assume librarian. But if they had to guess with her clothes off, and they saw the tattoo, they would assume she fixes motorcycles for a living.

For some reason, I thought this was hot, and now, I get a rise whenever I see these sexy displays of body ink on a woman, even though I have none myself. I’m not opposed to tattoos, but I don’t know what I would get so I’m biding my time. Until then, I live vicariously through the tattoos of any woman I date.


Before I marry any woman, she is going to need to take some sort of math test and pass with a 90 or above. You know why? Because I suck at math — it was my worst subject in school — and I’m not about to raise any children in a household where both parents forget the Pythagorean theorem.


This is not to say I have a crush on female basketball players, although, let it be known, I was one of the first guys I know of who had a crush on Candace Parker. Ask the fellas. Anyway, what this really is about is my love and appreciate for tall women. I don’t know why, but I absolutely love tall women. I could write a whole book on why this is but I’ll refrain.

Anyway, because I have dated quite a few woman who have some height to them (5’8 is a good starting point), I find that most of these women have a high school basketball trophy or two in their home. Me? I played in the band (and before anyone starts cracking jokes on my band past, know that I was good. I played in Europe three times), so there was no time for basketball, but I’m not afraid to go one-on-one. I swear if my ex and I ever become cool to the point where we can actually hang out again, we’re playing to 11, by ones, winner take out. She knows this. I know this.


I’ve written before about how I can never understand why anyone (man or woman) would want to be a vegetarian, but this is not to say I don’t appreciate their tastes. I imagine one day, all the pork chops and steak tacos I have consumed will catch up to me and force me into some sort of diet change. To help me make the adjustment, a vegetarian woman would be good for me because maybe she will know how to make a tofu steak not taste like a tofu steak.


On my own or with my boys, if I have to fight, I will, because on my own, I don’t mind taking an L. But in front of a woman I’m dating, I’m avoiding physical confrontation at all costs. Funny thing is, a woman doesn’t have to avoid physical confrontation in front of me because I can (kind of, sort of) dig it.

Now, understand, I don’t want a woman who likes to fight, nor do I want a woman whose first instinct is to put vaseline on her face, take the earrings out, and slide the ring off her fingers. Fighting is so unlady like. But, just like a woman doesn’t want a man who fights but can appreciate it if he wins should he ever find himself in one, I can appreciate a woman with the same, ummm, gift. The kind of woman who won’t start anything, but if she must, will finish it.

I remember a girl I dated once called me up at 4 in the morning and I thought it was a booty call, so of course I picked up the phone. She says, “Can you come over?” I thought it odd she would ask me like that so I said, “Sure. Everything okay?” She said, “Yeah, everything is fine. I’m leaving the club, but I just got in a fight.” I said, “What happened? Where are you? Are you hurt?” I had all these questions. She said, “No, I’m fine. I won, but I’m a little shaken up so I don’t want to be alone.” That night, she didn’t have to be, especially after her friends gave me the play by play. And all I wanted to do was take her clothes off and uhhh, relax her mind, but she said it was in poor taste and not in those words. So instead, I just held her and silently did a Tiger Woods fist pump in my head.

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  • ShaCrista

    Nice list. I may have to sit down and create one of my own! 🙂

  • Bunny.

    I have been told the same about the tattoos thing. Mine is hidden, it’s like a little secret. but I did indeed learn something about the fighting, I would have never guessed that!

  • Renae

    I can relate to this. There are certain qualities you admire in someone, but don’t necessarily possess yourself. For instance, I like a man who is excellent in managing his finances, so that he can manage mine too!

  • ladybird

    Ok, this is my virgin comment! I could not pass the opportunity. Being a tall woman myself (5’11 and sometimes 6’2 or 6’3 with heels, no shame here) I was happy to hear that there are men out here that are loving a tall woman; for whatever the reason. I played volleyball my whole life and it paid my way through college. While other taller athletes might have been interested, it was hard dating outside that “pool” when I was younger because most (not all) men were not secure enough to have a tall/er woman standing next to them. Or they wanted that “little lady” to cuddle up with. Luckily spending time over the years with other tall women I learned to accept my height and be proud of it, to the point of rocking 3 inch heels too! clap, clap to men lovin us tall ladies! 🙂

  • MissK


    Sending claps your way! I feel like I’ve been 5’10 since the day I was born and being a high school and college athlete myself (basketball), I felt like my only options were in that “pool” you referred to. But I think we (tall women) sometimes forget that models are TALL and rock heels like it’s nobody’s business. We shouldn’t let the insecurities of others bring us down.

    Thanks for appreciating the beatuy in everyone Jozen.

    ~Proud stiletto enthusiast

  • zy

    *applause* i love this post. it truly made me smile. as a woman with a few, well-hidden tattoos, i’m appreciative of the love for tatooed chicks, lol. i read the last part about the fighting chick and can truly relate. i love the fact that my man really doesn’t like to fight but i’ve seen him knock a dude out with one punch because he stepped out of line and i swear, it was uber sexy to me. lol

  • Yesi Jukebox

    Oh, I always love your lists! I feel the need to contribute a list of my own though I never have before lol..

    1. I like a man who works with his hands. Maybe he is in construction, some sort of engineer, or works on cars. I don’t really like to get dirty or wear any sort of uniform so none of those jobs would be right for me. There’s something sexy about a man who can fix things.
    2. A history buff. My worst classes in school were always Economics, Global Studies, History and Geography. I am much better at the creative stuff than remembering dates of when wars happened and where. But I definitely don’t mind dating a man who does know these things and can school me a little.
    3. I like guys with dark brown eyes. The darker the better. I myself have light brown eyes and as a kid always wished I had my father’s shade of green/yellow. I love my eyes and look forward to the sunny days when they look even lighter but for some reason I have always liked guys with dark eyes. The blues and greens never did anything for me.

    and that’s my short list..I’m finding it hard to come up with some more..

  • Sunkissed404

    “So instead, I just held her and silently did a Tiger Woods fist pump in my head.” <– You're crazy. lol Denzel Washington fistpumps are better tho.

    Your list is funny. I got the first 3 easy..You got me at vegetarian tho'. That is suuuch a trend. I hear patients everyday who think they're vegetarian, and they're not. I'm a Nutritionist, so this is part my job, but it cracks me up everytime I hear it. True vegetarians know how to get allll the nutrients they need by making appropriate substitutions/etc. Lately, everyone that has had had low iron also claimed to be vegetarian too ("Oh…I stopped eating meat! I'm a vegeterian".) Hilarious

  • RemTheMulatto

    I have also recently learned that I dig those hidden tattoos.. Especially a big one up the side along a woman’s oblique and perhaps ending half a foot below the armpit.. Usually I’ve seen flowers, but as long as it doesn’t say “Property of James” or is a penis (or both o_O), you can’t really go wrong..

  • Shakila

    Love this post.
    Thanks for the kudos to tall girls.
    Being the tall girl in school was not always fun (being taller than the boys)
    which is so funny b/c guys seem to love tall girls now that I’m in college.

    And yes, I can relate to the nerd with a tattoo thing, I work for a private college and under all the corporate business clothing is a huge (sexy) tattoo.

    Keep the list coming.

  • Violet


    Before I marry any woman, she is going to need to take some sort of math test and pass with a 90 or above. You know why? Because I suck at math — it was my worst subject in school — and I’m not about to raise any children in a household where both parents forget the Pythagorean theorem.”

    Pwahahahahaha! I echo these sentiments. Hubby’s gonna have to handle all the kids math homework after grade 8.

  • Sunkissed404



    lol…You all are in great company. I’m a part of the “Stallion Club” myself standing 5’10” myself. Definitely modeled and played b-ball. I am seeing lots more tall women…some taller than me, and I love it! It must be something in the food now because 10 years ago, lots of females were under 5’7”. Today is a whoooole different story.

  • MadScientist7

    like you i also like a woman with tattoos. i have 3 (as of now) and 4 brands so when i see a woman with a nice placed tat, it’s a turn on.

    i also like women who *look* like they played ball. i don’t actually like ball players. from my experience most women who played ball had a disposition to cross over into the land of carpet munchers or they weren’t very attractive. like one of the guys. now candace parker is a certifiable 9. i’ve met her in person and we are damn near eye-level and i’m 6’6”.

    i like women who are interested in other things (career-wise) other than science and math. that’s what i do. i really like change of pace so when you talk about your day it would be nice if it wasn’t closely related to what i just did all day.

  • Lena

    Pythagorean Thereom: a^2 + b^2 = c^2

    And no I didn’t look it up. One of those things that I carry around in my head ever since 9th grade. That and knowing that there are 5280 feet in a mile. And yes I regularly use that piece of info to convert how many steps I’ve taken to how far I’ve gone. (more rambling) yes, my pedometer does have a distance function but it’s always wrong because my average stride is 19.2″ (yes i’m short) but the pedometer wouldn’t accept the .2″ So after my walk I multiply my steps by 19.2″ divided by 12″ divided by 5280 ft = how many miles I’ve traveled. That .2″ adds up!

  • Lena

    I’m sorry, but “carpet muncher”? I’m gonna need a definition here. *confused*

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  • Sunkissed404


    6ft6??! That’s pretty tall..bout the height of my uncle who is 6ft-9. Buuuuut, Candace Parker is 6ft 6in! Daaayyyyyyuuuum. NO wonder she can dunk! (Unfair advantage for women) Isn’t Michael Jordan 6-6? Good thing she is pretty!

    **Her husband looks like Pacman tho’! “And he’s not that good”. You want a woman who *looks* like she plays a ball. It would be nice to meet a man who *looks* like he plays ball and can actually

  • Leah

    You just totally crossed me off your list of potentials. LOL!! Though I am good at math, I will never be a vegetarian, I have no tattoos (and probably never will), I did not play basketball or any other sport in high school, and I am definitely not a fighter. I hate fighting – girls OR guys. I find that to be so childish. I don’t even like for a guy to fight for me, which many people would consider romantic, noble, or heroic. I don’t like it. I ended up breaking up with a guy because I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore after he had a fight in front of me. Some guy had disrespected him by trying to flirt with me, even after I demonstrated and expressed my disinterest, the guy still persisted. My guy punched him in the face and the fight ensued. I was horrified and terribly embarrassed. Hate that. I would’ve preferred we just left.

    Nah, I can’t get with the fighting business.

  • Leah

    Lena :
    I’m sorry, but “carpet muncher”? I’m gonna need a definition here. *confused*

    Carpet muncher is a derogatory slang term for a lesbian, I believe.

  • MadScientist7


    a carpet muncher is slang term for a lesbian. carpet = vagina.

  • ladybird

    @madscientist I realize you said “in your experience” but I just wanted to say a few words 🙂 I have tattoos (3) and a brand AND played ball. All of that and still very much attractive and carry myself like a lady. Can I get down with my gym shoes and know my way around the gym…YES INDEED! BUT I most certainly can put on some sexy stiletto’s (right @MissK) and a dress and you might never know that I just came from the gym swining my arm like my life depending on it! So not all tall, female athletes are “carpet munchers”. LOL @ Sunkissed40…'”It would be nice to meet a man who *looks* like he plays ball and can actually”

  • MadScientist7


    yeah i don’t know where i get my height from. and cp3 is definitely pretty and her husband sucks. never liked him. one of my pet peeves are tall guys who can’t hoop. like what did you do growing up?

  • BoomShots

    Man, I wish I could be so liberal about the whole thing but I am the point now that wish I could just meet a chick who could manage her own money. Not talking about making money but manage it well, I do pretty well for myself and I am in the place in my life to really settle down but I got to tell you every other woman I am with is broke. (expenses greater then income; living pay check to pay check). Not cool.

    Broke, meaning that they either got debt up the wazoo (not mortgages or student loans) but bad debt: credit cards, retail cards, car loans and not a whole lot to show for it. Plus they still got taste for the expensive ish, vaca, restaurants, shows but they can’t really afford it.

    Because I tell you the thing that comes to mind is that if she manages her money that poorly she gonna manage our money that poorly. Real deal.

  • Alexis

    This is good post. Many people look for qualities in others that they don’t possess. Its pretty much a balancing act in which they’re sort of making up for what you lack, so to speak.

  • max

    I love this post. I think I will once again have to write a response.

    And I totally feel you on the math thing. I’m a math dummy so any man I settle down with will have to be math-brilliant otherwise we’re gonna have all types of trouble.

  • Leah

    I understand where you’re coming from, but I kinda disagree. Coincidentally, I just got off the phone with a male friend of mine who was telling me that one of his flaws is not managing his money. He makes twice what his girlfriend makes and her finances are so much more in order than his because he doesn’t manage his spending well. He is looking forward to marrying her and letting her manage the money. Likewise, if you marry a woman who isn’t good at managing her money, perhaps she will acknowledge that and allow you to manage it for her.

    Personally, that’s one of my flaws (poor money management is common among those adults who have ADD, as I do). I eagerly anticipate the day when I can hand my check over to my husband so he can give me my allowance and I can focus on the things I do well. 🙂

  • Sunkissed404

    True dat, true dat… Most guys normally ask me if I ran track in hs…When I say bball, they’re like “I wouldn’t have said that!” “You’re just too prissy!” My response ” I go hard in tha mu— paint ninja…. What the eff u thanking ninja-Flocka!” lol (Kidding!!!) I never understood the insult that came with playin’ ball…until one of my team mates in hs had a sex change…Ummmmm (…???) Right.

    Yeah- That dude Shannon….He’s just….weird! I’m sure he feels lucky to have her by his side tho’…But I bet she wins every time they play ball against each other!.lol

    And yeah…One of my pet peeves is other tall women who have bad posture….like they’re ashamed to be tall..or the ones who never ever wear heels because “They’re already tall and society told you u can’t be tall and wear heels”…Ummmm. Why make em in a size 9-10 if we weren’t meant to wear em. That’s just like me asking short people why they wear flats, because they’re already short.!! Get over yourself!! (literally) lol

  • BoomShots

    I am happy that you can admit that as a personal failing and so can your friend but I get no such admissions from the women I have encountered, the excuses are more along the line that finances are secondary in their list of priorities which generally translates to I really don’t know that much about handling money but I will continue to fake it until something or someone comes along to save me.

    Financial wizardry is a gift, “making a dollar out of 15 cents” basic money management is maturity and being responsible, ie. buying what you can afford, paying your bills on time and maintaining good credit. All it requires is some basic education and some self control. So I don’t know about whether ADD affects one’s ability to do as you say it does but it is too important a skill set to (1)not learn and (2)excuse oneself from.

    There are too many so called grown folks out here who perfectly ok without learning certain basic life skills. All flaws can be corrected. You may never be the best at something but at least learn the basics so if called on you at least understand enough to tell the person you are paying to fix it the problems.

  • Leah

    I understand. For me, it’s quite different. I make more than enough money to support myself and all my hobbies, so I’m definitely not waiting or hoping for someone to come along and “save me.” I totally agree with you on demonstrating maturity and responsibility by buying only what you can afford, paying bills ON TIME, and maintaining good credit. ADD definitely affects one’s ability to manage their money, as any doctor or expert will tell you. It’s not the education or self control issue, it’s focusing enough to plan the budget, monitor the accounts, balance the checkbook/checking account, track the receipts, etc. This is VERY common among ADDers, as evidenced on many message boards and blogs. I promise it’s not an excuse. 🙂

    I’m much better at it today than I was in my 20s, but still, I can’t wait to hand all that stuff over, along with my paycheck, to my husband – should I ever marry. 🙂

  • L. Dejean

    I have 6 tattoos and all can be covered up very easy! I don’t have any brands but i do have a tattoo dedicated to the sorority (my biggest one, no letters though). *fist pump for the girls with tattoos* I’m in education…i’m no good at science or math…my one proud moment in math was being able to correct a math teacher…in like 9th grade…yea, that never happened again after that! lol!

    I’m glad i was right about the Pythagorean Thereom but again, i am quite terrible at math!

    I’m 4’11” so basketball just wasn’t in my future. I played a free throw video game and had to jump so high just to make one basket (my friend’s got quite the laugh on my behalf). I can jump pretty high for a short person though, lol!

    I’m not a fighter but i will bite ankles & swing some chairs if I need to, lol! I’m also workin on eating healthier (beef has long been out of my diet)!

    Good post!

  • Danni


    That you still know the Pythagorean Theorem after 8th grade is astounding to me. I’m not even kidding. I am truly impressed.

  • Cali

    Well well well, a man who likes tall women. I’m truly shocked, lol! @ 5’10”, I don’t hear/see/experience that a whole lot… especially when I rock my heels, lol!

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  • me

    kinda sounds like you want your woman to be a dude: an inked up, ball-playin’, street fightin’ bro. (with a soft side, as demonstrated by her/his vegetarianism)