I Swear Phone Calls Have Become The New Flowers
I absolutely agree with anyone who believes technology has ruined the traditional lines of communication. With social media, the advent of text messaging, email, and online chatting, things like hand-written letters and regular phone calls seem to be archaic.
As a result, all of us have developed our own form of communication etiquette. I know of BlackBerry users who treat their BBM like its some sort of key to their heart and will make a person work for their pin number. There was a girl I once dated who chatted online during the day, and knew I did the same, but when we decided to open up the flood gates and chat with each other, we thought it a pretty big deal, for whatever reason.
But the form of communication I have noticed is becoming prized and put on a pedestal higher than the others is the classic phone call. Maybe it’s just the women I’m talking to these days, but from what I’m seeing, it’s like, phone calls are the new flowers. Give a girl a call, all of a sudden we know how to treat a lady.
I would love to take it back to the days of middle school and high school when I actually had some time to have a 45-minute or so conversation about everything under the sun. I’m a big talker (as anyone can guess) so the phone suits me just fine, but I have to be honest, the phone call just isn’t what it used to be and that’s not a personal thing, it’s a technology thing.
When I used to talk to a girl I liked on the phone for long periods of time, it was because I lived under my parents watchful eye and couldn’t leave the house whenever I wanted to, to see whoever I wanted to. When I was growing up, phone conversations were like dates largely because I couldn’t go out on dates that often.
These days, I don’t live under my parents supervision and have the freedom to pretty much do whatever the hell I want. One of those things is actually spend time with a girl in person, if she’s available to do so. And if she is available, and I’m free to talk for like an hour, and she lives not too far from me, why would I elect to spend that time on the phone instead of talking to her face to face?
At what point did a phone call go from functional to fashionable? Why can’t I reserve the phone for times when the conversation has a beginning, middle, and end. If I ask a girl out on a date or if I’m trying to make plans with her, of course I’m choosing to call over text messaging my invitation, but if I have no plans to make I have no call to make.
The notion that just because I don’t call, I don’t care and just because I do call, I do care is ridiculous. If I call a girl to just talk for a full week after getting her phone number, and I haven’t suggested plans within any one of those conversations, she has full reason to believe I’m using each phone call as a coupon. The more time I spend talking on the phone with a woman, getting her comfortable with me and establishing some sort of chemistry, the more reason she has to believe I’m trying to avoid a big splashy first date. I just want to hang out, kick it, preferably at her place or mine. Initially, such a request might be a turn off, so how do I make it a turn on? Call her, make her feel special, and get her so comfortable with the sound of my voice that she eventually says yes to a quiet night inside.
I know the plan may sound ridiculous, but so does the idea that a man who calls is a man who cares. Only in situations like long distance relationships, should time spent on the phone be treated like a prized possession, which is exactly why long distance relationships don’t work well for me. When I think about my long distance relationships from the past and all those hours spent talking on the phone, I start to itch.
These days, the reason I prefer a person who is close because I feel like the time spent on the phone can be time spent in person. I mean, hasn’t the face to face encounter been around longer than the phone call? Talk about a lost art.
The phone call, like many other things, needs to be explained in the very beginning of courtship in order to be honored. If we’re the type of people who appreciates phone calls over text messaging and emails, we need to make it clear to whoever we’re dating so that way they know what’s acceptable. If I liked a girl and she said she would much prefer I call her, I’m going to call her, but if she doesn’t express this in the beginning, and I’m sending 15 or so text messages to every one phone call, and she uses that to gauge how I feel, she should absolutely move on to the next guy..
As a matter of fact, I’ll just put it on record now and say I don’t want to date a girl who has time to talk for an hour or so anytime between the hours of 6 a.m. and 11 p.m. And if she does have that time, she needs to elect to spend it with me in person. I’m perfectly fine with stopping whatever I’m doing not to go back and forth on text messaging, not to sit on my couch and talk about things like my years growing up playing little league, but to actually get off my couch and see someone face to face. If we don’t have time to do that we probably don’t have time to talk on the phone.
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