My title
Home > dating, Five Things > Five Things She Can Do Other Than S#x To Prove That She Likes Me

Five Things She Can Do Other Than S#x To Prove That She Likes Me

September 21st, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

To the women who are reading this: Do not for one second believe the title of this post is about to offer up some suggestions as to what other things can be substituted for giving up the good stuff. There is absolutely no substitute for the good stuff, at least not one a woman can provide. I can provide it on my own, but that’s neither here nor there.

Here’s what today’s post about: Figuring out ways I can tell a woman really likes me besides having sex with me. I’ve slept with quite a few woman who afterward treated me no different than a girl who has never even thought about sleeping with me. Not all sex is about feelings, sometimes it’s recreational, and I know that will many of my potential commentators saying things like, “That’s what’s wrong with the world,” but there’s a lot of things with the world so let’s just avoid that part of the conversation.

Instead, let’s talk about how sex has become so commonplace today (not a bad thing)  that women now need to find other ways to show they really, really like a guy. So she gave me some good stuff. Great. But how do I know she really likes me? Well, here’s five other things she can do to show me she likes me.


I’m not talking about paying for a date. I’m not talking about suggesting where to go on a date. I’m talking about calling up the guy, asking him what he’s doing within the next couple of days, and if he says nothing, she says, “Great, be ready at seven.” I challenge any woman who says she really likes a man to plan a date for him. Not for the boyfriend, for the guy she likes. The one she’s just starting to date. She needs to show she’s been listening to him the three previous dates go on and on about himself. No better way than to plan a date with a couple of things he said he likes to do. Sex included. Speaking of dates…


I don’t know if a girl who cancels our date and then reschedules means she likes me. That could just be an instance where her mother taught her well. But I do know the girl who cancels on me and never bothers to make some alternative plans isn’t really digging me. So if that’s not the message she’s trying to send, she needs to send me the other one, courtesy be damned.


I dated a girl once who I first met in real life, but came to admire primarily through Facebook. When the two of us finally did go out on a date, I told her how I spent a good amount of time looking at all her pictures. The young kids call this Facebook stalking. She didn’t freak out or anything of that nature. She actually thought it was funny and somewhat flattering. Anyway, we had a great date. And I knew she felt the same, but it wasn’t until the next day when I went back to her Facebook and saw the status. It read: “hope you don’t stop looking at my facebook :).” See folks! It’s the little things, just a little inside joke shared in front of a lot of people. Win.


She can scream my name all she wants in the bedroom, it only means I’m doing a good job. But if she’s saying my name to other people? Job well done. It’s 2010 people, the use of real names to friends and family are the new boyfriend/girlfriend title.


Great for those who are sleeping with their new person or but especially valuable to those who are almost ready but still need more time. The two-week gift (aka fifth date gift because if two busy people are dating, they might only date once or twice in the first two weeks) is very simple.

Now it’s not one particular thing for every guy. It’s a very specific thing for a the man the girl likes. It doesn’t require much money and it should be something he will laugh about. Don’t go crazy looking for it at clothing stores, it’s usually available at a candy store or a convenience store. It’s nothing big, but what it shows the man is the woman has been listening.

I can’t tell the women what it is, that’s on them to figure out, but to take an example from my own life, here it is: When I was in high school, I loved me some buttered popcorn Jelly Belly jelly beans. I loved those things so much if they would have made a t-shirt with a picture of one on it, I would have bought two. My girlfriend at the time and I were not girlfriend and boyfriend yet, but when she came to school one day, she handed me a whole jar of buttered popcorn Jelly Belly jelly beans. I didn’t even know they made those jars, and I didn’t know anyone can like me so much they would do such a thing.

Categories: dating, Five Things Tags:
  • Silent Scorpion

    Sweet list….I totally relate to the last one. On one date a guy got in my car and was eating some chocolate, my favorite kind mind you. I asked him why he didn’t offer me any and he said I didn’t look like I ate candy. I explained to him that I was a sweets fein.

    A little later we went to a store to buy some things and I noticed he bought some candy. I was wondering if he was going to offer me some. After he engulfed half, he wrapped it up and put it in my glove compartment. I thought that was sweet and showed he listened.

    Little things.

  • Cali

    Diggin’ the first suggestion, I’ve actually never done that for a guy but would if he seemed receptive enough. Yes, I’ve dated some losers – LOL

  • Aisha

    I’ve actually done all five. I did like them, but they just weren’t the right one for me. I’ll definitely do it again though…good post.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention Until I Get Married » Five Things She Can Do Other Than S#x To Prove That She Likes Me --

  • Naomi

    5/5 DONE! His “Two week Gift”: Chic-Fil-A and Walmart cake..So random but his face lit up when he saw it. I guess PA is one of the few places you can readily get both! HAHAHA!
    Good one Jozen! <3

  • Miss. Riss

    I always questioned the facebook status thing. But good to know it can be seen as a good thing.

  • Tierra

    I love #5! It was between the first and second date with my current boyfriend and I was talking to him on the phone. He asked what I was doing. I told him I was shopping. He said, “Buy me a sports car.” I said, “Yeah, of course.” I got a card with a sports car on it and three micro machine sports cars and I wrote, “Maybe the real thing one day.” Its been three months and he still has it all displayed on his bookshelf. *giggle*

  • taurusitalia

    I am a very thoughtful & considerate woman, I can say that recently, I wanted to “do something nice for the guy I liked/interested in.” (Like take him to his favorite place or cook him his favorite meal- like you said, shows listening) But if men are the “insecure ones” & a woman wants to do something nice, & is upfront & real…why then would the guy drop from the face of the earth??? Especially when he thinks & has said numerous times that I am sexy/beautiful/sweet/rare. I love your insight to men, but I have to tell you, at 32 years old…both men & women are way too old to be playing games. Ugh!

    I wish you were my boy so we can discuss the “battle of the sexes” LOL

  • goalawal

    Five Things She Can Do Other Than S#x To Prove That She Likes Me

    1. Clean my apartment or room when its untidy..
    2. Buy me groceries / take the time out to bake me some cake, cupcakes, brownies
    3. Let me see her facebook SENT messages and then inbox msg. I triple double dare u on this one
    4. Rub my feet… A girl that was really in2 me would always rub my feet and i think my feet r ugly.. so good luck
    5. Suck my dick… this isnt sex.. we can save the penetration for later… sucking my dick, while taking things slow shows me u really like me

  • v4c

    LOL @ IF A RAIN CHECK IS IN ORDER, RESCHEDULE IMMEDIATELY. Two weeks after canceling, I still haven’t rescheduled. Is it safe to say I’ve screwed that up? LOL…

    And the facebook status bit is cute now…cause you haven’t pissed her off. #beware

    How I can tell if a guy really likes me:

    1. Giving me food/juice he intends to finish himself
    2. If we’re in the grocery store and I mention how much I like something, he’ll buy it
    3. He lets me drive his car…even if it’s just the parking lot (“baby steps”)
    4. He leaves me in his house unattended
    5. He switches toothpaste brands to one I can use

  • Kae-Toya

    you are just an opportunistic ass-hole.

    Nice post Jozen

  • Leah

    @goalawal is gross. And a jerk.

    How I can tell a guy really likes me:
    1. He calls me
    2. He gives me honorable mention in his FB status (with an insider, not putting my name on blast)
    3. He respects my boundaries
    4. He brings me gifts (even ones that don’t cost a dime are fine by me)
    5. He makes effort to spend time with me

  • joy

    you can get in trouble with the facebook lol…

  • TOP 5

    I guess we have been messing around for a little bit… one of the sweetest things this girl did for me was take some of my dress shirts to the dry cleaners with out me knowing… Work was killing me and i was working hellish hours…. Two days later there is a delivery man with about 20 of my shirts dry cleaned…

    Ladies that’s how you snag a man…

  • TOP 5

    @V4C you are not driving my car…..
    changing my tooth paste… you can bring your own… i mean what toothpaste can’t you use? Do you have sensitive teeth?

    Facebook can get you in trouble… but you can use facebook to manipulate a situation well also… (only for advance users).

  • E

    EWWWWWW. Buttered popcorn jelly beans? Gross, Jozen! Gross! Almost as bad as the peanut butter and jelly ones. Nice post, otherwise.

  • Leah

    TOP 5 :
    Like or Dislike: 1  0I guess we have been messing around for a little bit… one of the sweetest things this girl did for me was take some of my dress shirts to the dry cleaners with out me knowing… Work was killing me and i was working hellish hours…. Two days later there is a delivery man with about 20 of my shirts dry cleaned…
    Ladies that’s how you snag a man…

    That wouldn’t work for me. She would have to have access to your home to surprise you in such a manner. I don’t date like that. 🙂

  • J247

    #1 seals the deal…Any girl who listens to the random things I say and can piece together a complete idea and plan from it is a winner and worth keeping in my book…dope list kid!

  • Dani

    Facebook status update works allll the time

  • Truth

    I completly agree @Leah!
    #1 He CALLS instead of TEXTS u!

  • Nadia

    @goalwal..are u for real dude?

  • BoomShots

    In general all these things represent some aspect of truth.
    while it is true some people are playing games, I have also come to understand that there are others that just very confused people. Oftentimes their lives are ruled by competing interest that undermine their ability to establish or maintain relationships. So liking someone or even having that person reciprocate in kind is not enough to make it right.

    I understand your frustration because as a man i have encountered similar responses from women. But what I have realized is that I never really got to know those people and very often I was only allowed to see a small part of them.

    So many people yearn to have relationships but many just don’t know how to make it happen and invariably screw it up at some point along the way. It is one of those things with the world!!

  • Cheekie

    “When I was in high school, I loved me some buttered popcorn Jelly Belly jelly beans.”

    Ew, you can have all my butter popcorn jelly belly beans. lol

  • Theresa

    Early on in dating I bought my ex Marvin Gaye’s ‘What’s Going On’, the vinyl version. He had recently bought (or obtained) a record player and was excited about expanding his collection. On a previous date, right before putting on a jazz album, he asked “Can I play you something?”. I couldn’t help but smile, as he unintentionally referenced my favorite movie at the time, Love Jones. I’ll never forget that moment. Buying the record was a way in which to show how much I liked him, appreciated him, and I’m glad I did.

  • Procrastigirl

    mmmm I love those jelly beans, I thought I was the only one

  • zy

    absolutely digging the last one on this list. simple things mean the most. i was talking about candles with the guy i’m currently dating early on in our relationship. he was going on about this canlde warmer thingy and i, being the devout Crate & Barrel shopper that I am, thought it was the most amazing thing ever… fast forward 2 weeks later on our second date… he bought me one. i thought he’d completely forgotten the conversation… it’s still one of the cutest things he’s ever given me…

  • Natalie Naomi

    I’ve down #3 a few times… but I don’t know if he picked up on it. We’ll maybe he did and didn’t say anything. He does stuff like bring up the status I posted before I posted the one about him. So I’m thinking to myself, he had to have seen it.

  • Aries_Rose

    I’ve actually never done any of the above, but after reading these suggestions, I’m keeping them in mind. I have to say, I think #5 is about the cutest/sweetest thing ever. When I meet that guy I’m into, I’ll be sure to get him a special 5th date gift!

    P.S. Love this post Jozen but I have to agree with @E and @Cheekie butter popcorn jelly beans were THE WORST in the bag! Yuck! Lol.

  • islandgirl

    Great Post! I am now keeping a memory bank of things to do in the future when my dating life becomes existent again. Thanks for the advice!

  • Jiveleigh

    Craving some buttered popcorn jelly bellys right about now. Good taste!

  • v4c

    @TOP 5

    Good thing I’m dating this other guy and not you, huh? LOL. And what you said solidifies the fact that I KNOW this dude likes me. #swoons

    And for the record, Mr. Smarty Pants, I can’t use toothpaste with baking soda or peroxide in it. It’s too strong for me. He mentioned needing to buy more and I jokingly said, “Well can you get some without baking soda and peroxide? I can’t use that.” The next time I came over and used the bathroom, I noticed a new brand…and haven’t seen the old one since.

  • Leah

    Buttered popcorn, marshmallow, licorice and peanut butter are THE WORST Jelly Belly beans in the bag. If I ever accidentally chewed a popcorn one, I would usually gag and spit it out with a quickness. Just can’t take it. Jelly beans are supposed to be sweet, not salty. Yuck. YUCCCKKKK!!!!

  • Tea

    Yeah, I’m definitely doing the 5th date gift thing. That’s genius.

  • TOP 5

    @V4C so now my hygiene routine has to get messed… In 6 months you wondering why is teeth are yellowish and not as white is because of you… Then you dump him and now he has messed up teeth…

    if you coming over that much, have a little travel toothpaste…

    We are not dating… I like baking soda and peroxide in my toothpaste that is how i keep my teeth pearly white… JUST SELFISH… I give him props for sacrificing his teeth for you… That is LOVE…

  • TOP 5

    I was at the house… Was prob. in the shower. I work CRAZYYYYYYY hours… it was sweet but i see your point.

  • Akilah Garnett

    @TOP 5 She was tired of seeing u in the dirty shirts.

  • Jinx Moneypenny

    A dude who takes the time out to learn what I like >>>>>>>>>>

    And this is why I’m with mine. He challenged me to do the same for him, which is something I never had before.

  • Cocofro212

    I like this list. Minus the Facebook part cuz my man doesnt do facebook i pretty much covered it all before he gave it up to me 😉

  • Kim Ha


    “SHE WILL REFER TO ME BY NAME TO OTHER PEOPLE IN HER LIFE” – haha, me and my friends were discussing this because these days, any man one of us hooks up with gets a nickname. seldom do we actually refer to one of them by name, most of the time, I don’t even remember the guy’s name of whomever my friend’s “hanging out” with. And we were talking about it yesterday over pho, that if a guy actually gets a real name among us, then he’ll probably last.

  • TMaria

    I am a fan of Jelly belly butter poppcorn flavor as well!! Glad to know I am not the only one because no one else I know likes them. More for me.

    Anywho…..The last guy I dated liked Jelly Belly as well so as a gift I bought a him a few small boxes of which we shared. Of course whenever he or I bought more I got to eat all the buttered popcorn.

  • Anike Love


    Hmm…Jesus told me not to click this link. So I didn’t. It was hard to resist though!!

  • Anike Love


    This is true…but I have learned to stop referring to men by name too quickly because as soon as I open my mouth about him to someone, he does something REALLY stupid, and then I have to cut him (figuratively of course!). Then people get confused when I’m bringing up another name lol. I think it’s a curse really.

  • Aries_Rose

    @Kim Ha

    Anike I am the same way. The guy I’m dating usually gets a nickname that could relate to how/where we met, a feature (i.e. “built dude” lol), where he’s from, or if he’s a pain in the butt, something to the effect of “The Pushover.” I didn’t really notice I stopped using names but let’s face it, if you don’t know if that person is a keeper, no need for everyone you know to know their name

  • Kady

    Ohhh so now I finally see how the likes and dislike buttons work @goalawal is a MESS!!! That last line had me dying.

    Those Popcorn Jelly beans are pretty good, almost made a run to Dylans after reading this post.

    I think I’ve done 1-4, but Im not good with Gifts.
    Other ways a guy can tell I really like him, I leave voicemails when I call instead of just hanging up. I am willing to hangout at a moments notice, I reply to text messages ASAP.

    i like when guys do little things before were serious, like using their talent to impress me, write me a poem, draw me a picture, those are all really cute and innocent things. But also, the stuff on the list should not stop once we have s*x, just saying…

  • citygirl22

    ^^^ when did “sex” become a dirty word??? just saying…

  • citygirl22

    I have to say to the ladies… experience has taught me that with a list such as this, less is more. When you do too much for a man, he may either begin to take smaller kindnesses for granted, OR get scared that you’re getting “too serious.”

    Men enjoy being around women who make their lives easier and more pleasant. Therefore, any gesture should flow naturally and organically from how you treat him day-to-day. Cute surprises are nice, but the overall goal should not be to “impress” him… rather, it should be to show generosity, supportiveness and kindness on a regular basis.

  • Leah

    Okay, I know this is yesterday’s post, but I thought about something. Maybe y’all can help me out. I could be just paranoid. But I’m extremely generous and thoughtful. ALWAYS doing little gifts and surprises and just nice gestures for the person I’m seeing (and his kids, if he has any). But I’ve been burned a time or two, so I’m a bit reluctant these days. My question/concern: what if you get him the 5-week gift and months go by and he never gives you anything or does anything nice or thoughtful for you? Won’t that feel a bit awkward?

  • v4c

    @TOP 5

    Again, I JOKINGLY asked him. I’m not selfish at all. I was just as surprised by it as you are disturbed by it, lol.

    And all hygiene is in tact…whitening, scope, etc. in the toothpaste is working just fine. 😉

  • Tea


    HA!!! SO TRUE. When I first read that, I was like “huh?!” but yesssssss I totally refer to guys I just start talking to as “this guy I met at _________ (work, Society Cafe, etc.)” when I’m mentioning them to other folks. You’re right, I have to like you and think we could be going places in order for me to say your name to people who have no clue who you are.

  • ThatOneAKA

    don’t sleep on the buttered popcorn jelly bellys…they are the BOMB!