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Archive for September, 2010

Why A Woman With Child Doesn’t Scare Me

September 20th, 2010 21 comments

This will happen to the best of us.

We will meet someone and be swept off our feet by them. The chemistry will be there, the attraction will be there, and everything about the chance encounter will feel right. You will ask for her number, or for some type of contact information so you can stay in touch. She will oblige.

Days later, you will use this contact information to ask her out on a date. She will say yes, but before she does, she has something to tell you. She has a child. She wants you to know that now, before she even says yes to the date. This is not to say her child is an issue or has anything to do with whether or not she accepts your invitation for a date, but before date one even begins, and just in case you two have a fantastic time, she wants you to know she’s single, yes, but she’s also a mother.  And now it’s your move.

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Categories: dating, guys, women Tags:

Was It Something I Said?

September 17th, 2010 110 comments

What’s up everyone. Right now, it’s 7:35 and I just arrived back to my hotel room in Washington, D.C. I was down here to moderate a panel discussion on the impact of hip-hop on American politics at the Congressional Black Caucus convention. Had a blast, but unforuntately, it’s kept me busy for most of the day, which is why I haven’t been able to post anything until now.

Unfortunately, my mind is spent and it’s way later than usual for me to do a post, so instead, I’m going to end the week with a request from my favorite people in the whole world, my readers.

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Categories: Work Tags:

No Date Unless I Am One of The Best Looking Guys You Ever Dated

September 16th, 2010 21 comments

I get crushed all the time by readers for making a big deal about looks. Many have called me superficial and ask why I always have to emphasize my desire for women I’m attracted to, and I suppose it’s a fair concern. We should make room to give everyone a try, even those we initially pay no mind because we see no reason to do so.

But if anyone has been paying attention to this blog long enough, they may notice I don’t preach the importance of dating someone who turns us on to just the guys. Largely because most guys don’t have a problem dating the person who turns them on. We’re easily stimulated visually, so nine times out of 10, we’re going after the girl who makes us say, “Damn.”

It’s the women who still don’t understand where I come from when I say, ‘Date the first person who catches our eye.’ So to perhaps make my point a little bit more clear, allow me to sacrifice myself to any and all women who may think I’m not that cute or think I am a seven and it’s only because I’m funny I get an eight on a scale of 1-10. I don’t want to date any of you all, and I insist you all don’t date me.

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Categories: dating, guys, weddings Tags:

Via GlobalGrind

September 16th, 2010 Comments off

This Friday, I’m moderating a panel discussion at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation Annual Legislative Conference entitled, “The Impact of Hip-Hop On American Politics”.

Help me by sending me a question you would want to ask and get to know the panelists. Read more here in this piece “Can Hip-Hop And Politics Co-Exist”.

Categories: Work, writing Tags:

Let A Man Do What He Has To Do

September 15th, 2010 45 comments

In the years since I graduated from Howard University, I have only missed homecoming once. That was in 2007. Anytime I bring this up, a person (always a woman) ask me why, and I tell them I was in a relationship. They ask me why I let that stop me, I say, “Well, I wasn’t going to bring her and I for damn sure wasn’t going to go by myself because that would be trouble.” They ask me why would it be trouble.

Months prior to homecoming, that same year, one of my best friends was living in London and insisted all of us, my whole crew, come out to visit. I was, of course, in a relationship with my ex at the time and I told her about the invite but I told her I wasn’t going. She asked me why. I said it wouldn’t be good for me to go. She asked me why again. I said I have a thing for black women with English accents. She asked what’s that have to do with anything. I said well if I meet a black girl with an English accent, I’m going to get in trouble. She asked me why I would get in trouble.

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Categories: cheating, guys, women Tags:

If You’re Going To Do The Dinner Date, Five Things To Remember

September 14th, 2010 20 comments

Much like I wrote about the five things to remember for the movie date, I find there needs to be some parameters put in place for the dinner date as a first date. Like going to the movies, going to dinner is as cliche and traditional as eating with utensils, so I feel it’s time for me to write out some rules I have applied to my own dinner dates.

As recently as a year ago, I would do everything in my power to avoid dinner (and the movies) on a first date. It wasn’t that I was averse to footing a bill, more so, I just didn’t like what dinner did to a date. Something about the setup put both parties in a position to be so surface, and the predictability of it all was mind numbing. But as I get older, I find myself becoming more and more of a foodie. My mom will tell you the first words I ever spoke were, “I eat.” My grandmother owned a restaurant when I was growing up. I have a subscription to Bon Appetit magazine. Top Chef is one of my favorite shows, and cooking is one of my favorite things to do outside of writing.

All that being said, I no longer hesitate to take a woman out to eat, as a matter of fact, I have learned to enjoy it as much as I enjoy doing anything else with a woman. Here’s how…

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Categories: dating, Five Things Tags:

Why Women Should Not Be Allowed To Watch Football

September 13th, 2010 40 comments

Okay, I don’t really mean what I say in the title. But when I called up my business partner Jermaine on Friday night to discuss the idea behind this post, I admittedly did say, “Women should not be allowed to watch football. It’s not fair.”

On Friday evening, all the women I follow on Twitter, tweeted on and on about New York’s Fashion Night Out. For the readers who aren’t up on game, Fashion Night Out is basically a holiday for most women in New York. It’s a whole evening of shopping, partying, and schmoozing side-by-side with famous people.

So I’m reading all these tweets my female friends I follow and I think it’s great. Women should be able to have a night like this because guys have  football on Sundays and the season just started. But then, I see a couple of tweets from  women about how great it was that two days after Fashion Night Out, NFL Sundays were returning. That’s when I said to myself, “Not fair.  Why do women get to have their night and get to enjoy my day too? Who let that happen? Where did us men go wrong?”

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Categories: guys, women Tags:

Lessons From The Lady Friends

September 10th, 2010 23 comments

Yesterday, I took one of my friend’s out to lunch for her birthday. She invited me to her birthday party this weekend, and I flaked so I wanted to make it up to her. When we sat down, she jokingly asked me what this was about, suggesting I was trying to make myself over. I had to explain it wasn’t about some larger life mission to be a better friend to everybody. She had been such a good friend to me, so I didn’t want to let her birthday pass without acknowledging it and doing something nice for her. It was my way of saying Happy Grown Woman Day and thanks.

When we said bye to each other, I must say I felt good about what I did even if it was something I was supposed to do. Because let’s face it, when it comes to what we are supposed to do, sometimes we have no clue. I know I certainly don’t know what I’m supposed to do all the time, but I’m learning, and what’s cool about the process is I can learn with women in my life who I call friends first.

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Categories: guys, women Tags:

Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Girl You Only Take Out Once Edition

September 9th, 2010 51 comments

Today, I want to pay my respect to all the smart, crafty women who know exactly how to get what they want out of a man. I’m not talking about the gold diggers. I’m not talking about the sexually independent women who know how to separate their bodies from their hearts and get theirs like a man gets his.

I’m talking about all the women who know how to bring a man in and out of her life for one night only without giving up any part of her body and giving up any part of her wallet. I’m talking about the women who need a man in their life to distract them from the man they really want in their life and take advantage of the opportunity to do so just as soon as it presents itself. Those women are SMART in all caps.

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Categories: Girls You Shouldn't Fall For Tags:

Five Rules The Girl Friend Should Follow

September 8th, 2010 38 comments

Yesterday when I wrote about wanting a girl friend in my life, I think I gave the impression I didn’t have any.

Not true.

I have a handful of girl friends; women who have held me down all in the name of friendship. Some of them are ex-girlfriends and some of them I tried to get with but failed and as it turns out, they were cool people anyway. Those who forced me into friendship because I wasn’t going to get anything else are also kind enough to let me believe things could happen later on down the line. Maybe. If I pray. A lot. But I digress…

But the thing I love most about my girl friends is how easy they make it easy for me to hang out with them and confide in them. How easygoing and drama free they are about most things when it comes to me. These girl friends play their role and they play it well, so it is under their influence I write up the five things I need to be friends with a girl.

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Categories: Five Things, guys, women Tags: