Introducing The New Rating System For Women
For as long as I have been alive, men have used the 1-10 rating scale to rate women. Is it right? Absolutely not. Is it fun? Hell yes.
But here’s the real question, is it honest? Every man I know will say his woman is nothing under an eight. Maybe he will be man enough to admit she’s a seven, but those guys are few and far between. And anything below a seven isn’t even worth discussing unless the man is mean spirited enough to call her out for being below a seven.
What men need is a new rating system. Too many women are being called 10’s to the point where the whole idea of a 10 isn’t even sufficient enough to describe true 10’s. Now we’re calling them 11’s and 12’s. Huh? If the system was so perfect, there would be no need to go above it. Well, one night, in the midst of a random conversation with my boys about girls (duh), we stumbled upon a new, much better system. I’m using it, my boys are using it, and now I’m sharing it for everyone else to use. And yes, ladies, you can use it too if you so please.
Ladies and gentlemen allow me to present what we are calling
THE PERCENTILE SYSTEM
From this point forward, my friends and I are putting women in percentiles. The most beautiful women to each individual will now be described using percentage figures, which will be given according to how she compares with other women.
The problem with the 1-10 system is it never accounted for other women. When a man called a woman a 10, the assessment was always made on an individual basis, there was never any comparative analysis, and that is where men start making all types of mistakes. He gets so caught up in the moment, he puts the 10 on a pedestal, not accounting for the other fish in the sea.
What happened when he discovered the girl he called a 10 hangs out with other 10s? Her stock may have dropped, yet her rating never changed. Now I’m no math whiz (actually it was my worst subject), but if a man is just throwing out 10s left and right, where is the value in being a 10?
So, let’s take that same situation and instead of applying the 1-10 system, let’s apply the percentile system. A man meets a woman standing outside of a lounge, and she is so fine he immediately puts her in the 95 percentile. This means, as of right now, there is only a 5 percent chance he will meet a woman as fine or finer than her. The woman is waiting for her friends who are now walking up to her, and what’s this? Oh, wow, she has another fine friend. Now the girl he put in the 95 percentile system is now in the 90 percentile. And wait, there’s another girl who is just as fine as the two other girls. Now both girls are going down to the 85 percentile system. But wait! There’s one more! So now all four girls are going in the 80 percentile.
What does that mean exactly? Well, basically, it means that each woman looks better than 80 percent of the other women in the club, and amongst the four of them, there’s only a 20 percent chance the man will meet someone who is finer than any one of these girls.
Now why is this better than the 1-10 system? Why can’t we just call all four of them 10’s?
If a man ends up with one of the 10’s in the crew, but acknowledges each one of her friends is also a 10, he is basically saying she’s not much finer than other woman out there. But if a man says a woman is in the 80th percentile, it sounds a little bit better. And, the beautiful thing about the percentile system is once her friends aren’t around and it’s just him and her, she’s right back up to the 95 percentile system. Instead of saying she’s a 10 all the time and other girls are 10’s too, the new system is allowing him to be completely honest about where she falls in comparison to other women.
Honesty is the main reason why we have decided to go with this new system. If I have a friend who lives in one of those small towns and says he met a woman who is a nine, I’m expecting a nine. But if a man tells me he met a woman who is in the 80th percentile, I’m expecting a seven because I know he’s basically saying, his woman is fine in the small town he’s living in, but there’s a 20 percent chance, he would meet someone finer or as fine as she is, and frankly, those are good odds. I mean, if I said there was a 20 percent chance it would rain, and an 80 percent chance it wouldn’t, would you be carrying around your umbrella or would you say it’s going to be a beautiful day?
Here’s what happened with the 1-10 system. Somehow, over time, it went from a rating system to a compliment system. Men started saying a woman was a 10 as a way to compliment her, and what a lot of women didn’t realize is if they weren’t getting a rating, it probably meant they were between a seven and a one. Now with the percentile system, every woman gets a rating because the percentile system takes into account not just the way one woman looks, but other women look as well.
One thing I hope happens is women start applying the same system to themselves and to their friends. I’ve complained before about the way women always tend to oversell their friends. They always talk about how fine their friends are when the truth is they’re not all equal. With the percentile system, women can now give an assessment of their friends based on the percentage of times their friends attract attention from the opposite sex. If a woman told me that about 80 percent of the time her friends go out guys ask to buy them drinks and try to get their number, I can go back to my friends and report the girl I’m talking to has some pretty fine friends because 80 percent of the time they go out, guys are trying to approach them.
The other way girls can apply it? To themselves. What the percentile system awards isn’t just raw beauty, but also individual, unconventional beauty as well. If women were conscious about what percentile they fall into, they can do something to make them stand out. I personally love a woman with style, but that’s always hard to explain to my boys. The fact of the matter is every woman is a 10 with her clothes off because who doesn’t like naked women? But since most women aren’t walking around these streets naked, men being the visual creatures they are, have to assess what it is they see, and thus, a woman’s style will help determine her proper place in the percentile system.
So there it is, everyone. The new rating system my friends are now using to assess the opposite sex. None of this is meant to be taken seriously, we’re just trying to have some fun at the expense of an archaic system. I would like to hear men give me their own rating system if they have one to contribute but also, any suggestions as to what they might do to modify the percentile system. And ladies, just to show how playful I am being about this whole thing, feel free to practice the percentile system on me in the comments section. I’m not scared, because if you give me anything below 50 percent, there is probably a 100 percent chance we will never get together.
Honestly, these days, it’s more about keeping my confidence in tact, haven’t meditated yet, but I want to try. And prayer, been doing a lot of that. I need it. Keeps the anxiety away.
SEVENTH Edition of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast is now up. Click here to listen