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The Five Friends Every Woman Has

October 18th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I don’t date girls who don’t have friends. The kind of woman I prefer has a healthy social life and healthy relationships with other women not related to her. Something about women with friends puts me at ease, and maybe it’s because I have plenty of male friends in my life, so the balance of her own friends is important.

Whatever it is, a woman with friends is always at the top of my list, and through the years I have learned when dating a woman exactly what kind of friend she is going to have. Some women won’t have all five members of this team, but all women will have at least one or two of these women. Here they are…

THE FRIEND WHO IS DEFINITELY AS FINE AS OUR GIRLFRIEND

Because all girls have a tendency to think all of their friends are pretty, she really can’t see the one who gives her a run for her money. Here’s a hint: Whenever a man is talking about inviting some friends to join us for any kind of get-together or outing, she is the first one he suggests to invite. He’s probably not going to do anything with her, because that would be just wrong, but still, we like having her around. And don’t even ask him if he would date the fine girlfriend if he could. He absolutely would.

THE FRIEND WHO OBVIOUSLY LIKES ME BUT MY GIRL IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION

Hello!? Do we not hear the girl laughing at all my jokes and agreeing with everything I say? For some reason when a woman gets into a relationship with a guy, she forgets that once upon a time her man was a stone-cold mack. Meanwhile, her friend sees what the girlfriend used to see but doesn’t see anymore. This is the girl men like having around just as much as the fine friend, because we need someone to laugh at our jokes since our girlfriend stopped doing so like a month ago.

THE FRIEND WITH THE COOL BOYFRIEND WE WOULD HANG OUT WITH BUT FEEL AWKWARD ASKING IF HE WOULD WANT TO HANG OUT

All men know the girl who has a boyfriend we like hanging out with. As it turns out, we have common interests like Ultimate Fighter, Eastbound and Down, Dexter, and Sportscenter. Even more telling, since we’re both dating girls who are friends with each other, we obviously have a similar type which means if we were two single dudes who met, we would be kicking it, but since our girlfriends introduced us to each other, we have to act like we don’t want to hang out until our girlfriends are trying to hang out. We show our true feelings every time the girlfriend with the cool boyfriend doesn’t bring him over when she comes over. We’ll come out of our room and be like, “Where’s your man?” She’ll tell us she just wanted to hang out with our girlfriend one-on-one, and we will go back in our room and continue to play the computer on Madden ’11.

THE FRIEND WITH THE ONGOING MAN PROBLEMS

She is the worst. I have nothing more to say about her because none of it would be nice.

THE FRIEND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH

I complain about my boys whenever they act up or get on my nerves, but I never suggest I should cut them off. My girlfriend on the other hand is constantly questioning why she is still friends with a particular friend of hers, and every time she asks me, I can do nothing but shrug my shoulders, which then makes me look like I don’t care, which then makes me look like I’m not listening, which then gets on my nerves. So, the next time my girlfriend leaves her email open, I’m going to get on her computer, email her friend with one simple message; “We’re not friends anymore.” My girlfriend will thank me later.

——————————————————————————————

THE PROCESS

Executed the new workout regimen I received from my trainer this morning. Nine different exercises first thing in the morning, and I’m still sore from our first session on Saturday. Oh also got me on a new diet. No sugar or breads and stuff for six days; seventh day I can eat whatever I want. Here we go…

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  • Anonymous

    you forgot the annoying one who always seems to get invited to where ever you and girlfriend are going.

  • Yp Mama

    HAHAHA so true maurice, there is always that annoying one LOL

  • Taurusitalia

    Good luck with “the process” with your new trainer!

    Women are aware of the type of friends you listed…& on occasion will drop them because they know (the girlfriend that is) that their friends would attack their man! LOL! I have had it happen to me more than once!

    People in general want to surround themselves with people of value. And friends are a reflection of some or all range of personality traits you possess.

  • Streetz

    LOL

    1) Good List

    2) You forgot the hater or the friend who’s always the “if I were you” chick

    3) Dont OD on that 7th Day… you may just want to eat healthy, maybe one cheat meal, and reintroduce the breads/carbs. Dont want to see the gains goto sh*t. Plus stretch constantly itll aide with the soreness.

  • http://www.realtalk123.com AlesiaMichelle

    Your process is the exact opposite of mine. 5 lbs in 5 days is what I am currently on.
    But you also forgot, “the friend that hates you [boyfriend]”. This friend is a lot like, “the friend with on going man problems”… except for the fact that, “the friend who hates you” has never been in a relationship…

  • JavaniG

    Ive been all of those girls at one point exceptt he one who likes my firends man (most of my friends have bad taste)!

    Good Post!

  • BoomShots

    Half the friendships most women have generally don’t make much sense to me because they seem more like frenemies than anything else. At one point along the way you as the BF are called upon to offer your judgment about the friend or their actions, most times it is a losing proposition.

  • lexy

    lol i totally have a friend who falls in each group … and good luck with the diet … no sugar or bread i would die lol

  • http://loveh8relate.com Sway

    Agreed Alesia,

    I can admit to being the friend that didn’t like my best friend’s boyfriend, but it wasn’t because I didn’t have a man. It was because I knew she could do so much better…lol.

    Oh and Jozen, you forgot about the close guy friend a girl may have who the boyfriend thinks likes her…

  • shay

    lmao at the list…yea i definitely have friends in my circle that fits some descriptions lol

  • Aries_Rose

    Lmao love this list Jozen and as a female, I think you might need a part two!!

  • kristine

    LMAO!!!
    the first 2 were like mhm, mhm, i feel you.
    the 3rd was a lol: “We show our true feelings every time the girlfriend with the cool boyfriend doesn’t bring him over when she comes over. We’ll come out of our room and be like, ‘Where’s your man?'”
    the last 2 were hilarious!

  • v4c

    LOL! Cool post!

    I hang with like-minded women…similar styles, gifts, grown mindsets, etc. So I def identify with #1. And what woman hasn’t been the girlfriend with ongoing man problems at some point, lol. Needless to say, this friend(s) has never been a problem for me…or my man. I don’t do trouble-making females.

    As I general rule, I don’t bring all my friends around my man just to “hang”. If we’re all attending the same party or something, fine…but I’m there with my man. If it’s a double-date, fine. Other than that, naw…I’ll pass. Keeps confusion away. When I was married, we hung with other married couples…and luckily, we were all previously close friends (from school, church, work, etc.). It just worked out that way. Doubt I’ll ever be that lucky again…

  • Islandgirl145

    Great Post! I for sure have friends that fit all of those descriptions hahaha. Good luck on the no breads or sugars diet for 6 days!

  • swooowoopblooded

    “THE FRIEND WITH THE COOL BOYFRIEND WE WOULD HANG OUT WITH BUT FEEL AWKWARD ASKING IF HE WOULD WANT TO HANG OUT”- You are adorable for that. LMFAO!

  • Violet

    “We show our true feelings every time the girlfriend with the cool boyfriend doesn’t bring him over when she comes over. We’ll come out of our room and be like, “Where’s your man?” She’ll tell us she just wanted to hang out with our girlfriend one-on-one, and we will go back in our room and continue to play the computer on Madden ’11.”

    Hilarious!

  • Cali

    Do I get points for liking Eastbound & Down and Dexter???

    Good luck on the diet & exercise, I’m going extreme this week myself – GO HARD, Jozen!!

  • LaVida2

    while I have a wide and varied selection of friends living all over the world. I doubt my man will ever meet those friends in person.
    call me crazy, but my man and my friends have never been a good mix. i like to keep those relationships segregated as much as humanly possible.
    yeah, experience is a be-yotch.

  • Brwn_buttefly1980

    “So, the next time my girlfriend leaves her email open, I’m going to get on her computer, email her friend with one simple message; “We’re not friends anymore.” My girlfriend will thank me later.”

    *****Classic!!****

  • Sweet Cheeks

    LOVE THIS!

  • http://twitter.com/InADash Dash

    If she stopped laughing a month ago, she’s cheating or getting ready to dump you. Trust.

  • Dianeeee0905

    Not true. I have been with my boyfriend for the longest time and I will admit that i dont laugh at some of the things he says. He makes me laugh often, but maybe the thing you really think is funny is not really that funny??

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